Man, what I wild offseason that was. With all the conference realignment/dealignment rumors out there, it seemed like college football was the talk of the summer. Heck, ESPN even took a break from Favre Watch 2010 to report some more (wildly inaccurate) Big 10 expansion rumors from Joe Schad. So, for us college football geeks, the good news was that we had plenty to discuss all summer. The bad news was that we had plenty to discuss, but it was still only summer.
But, finally, all the talk is behind us. Everybody is ready to go and I never thought I’d be so excited to tune into Versus and the Big 10 Network. So, without further ado, here are the Cynic’s 21 fearless preseason predictions that are guaranteed to be wrong. Unless they’re right, in which case I want a cut of whatever you won in Vegas.
Take me with you! 1. Winner Takes All
A non-BCS team will make the national championship game, but it’s not the one you think. Boise State’s title hopes will be done in week one when they lose to Virginia Tech. Meanwhile, TCU will quietly run the table and, thanks to the amazing power of poll voter inertia, magically move up the rankings to make the title game. But they’ll lose to Ohio State. (And yes, I know it’s blasphemous to pick a national title game that doesn’t have an SEC team in it.)
Hey, the crystal matches my sweater vest!2. The Best of the Rest
- Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Florida
- Orange Bowl: Miami vs. Nebraska
- Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. UConn
- Sugar Bowl: Alabama vs. Wisconsin
3. Hype Springs Eternal
With Tebow, McCoy and Bradford all finally gone, this year’s Heisman race is as wide open as ever. The finalists will be:
- Oklahoma wide receiver Ryan Broyles. Missed two games last year with a broken shoulder blade and still set the school record for receptions.
- TCU quarterback Andy Dalton. Be the top player on a team in the title game, and you get an automatic invite to New York. It’s a rule or something.
- Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett. It’s also a rule that you have to have at least one SEC player invited to the party. Mallett is the one most likely to put up the big numbers.
- Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor. The hype on Pryor is too great this year for him not to get an invite. And if tOSU runs the table, he’ll have earned it.
- Oregon RB LaMichael James or Oregon St. RB Jacquizz Rogers. Depends on whichever Oregon team has a better season.
Gratuitous Heisman pose shot.4. This time next year, Butch Davis and Rich Rodriguez will still be involved in lawsuits against their respective schools after being fired at the end of the season, but both schools refusing to pay their buyouts, arguing they were fired for cause after running afoul of the NCAA.
5. Other BCS-conference coaches looking for a job: Dan Hawkins (Colorado), Mike Stoops (Arizona), Ron Zook (Illinois) and Tom O’Brien (North Carolina State).
6. Steve Spurrier will announce his retirement from coaching at the end of the season.
7. Lee Corso will announce his retirement at the end of the season. And will be replaced by Steve Spurrier.
8. Joe Paterno will announce he’s coming back for 2011, mainly because he wants to be in the Big 10 with “that young whippersnapper” Tom Osborne.
9. Miami head coach Randy Shannon will be a hot name rumored for a couple of NFL openings, but will ultimately stay with the Canes.
10. Western Kentucky will extend their nation’s-worst losing streak to 32 games by the end of the season.
Football has not been kind to Big Red. 11. Tim Tebow will be referenced at least 15 times during every Florida Gators broadcast this year. And at least 5 times in every Denver Broncos broadcast.
The world’s most popular backup quarterback. 12. With Texas Tech athletic director Gerald Myers announcing his retirement, the “Mike Leach for AD” campaign will be in full force by the end of the season.
13. USC will find a half-eaten cheese sandwich that Reggie Bush accidentally left behind in 2004. They will send it back.
14. At least 5 walk-ons will start for North Carolina this season. Because everyone else has been suspended.
How many times did I tell you not to Tweet about going to your agent’s stripper parties while your tutor wrote your term papers for you?15. Joe Schad will report something that is actually true. (Hey, it’s gotta happen eventually, right?)
16. People will make 54,376,232 jokes about the Big 12 having 10 teams and the Big 10 having 12. And they’ll think they’re being funny every time. And they’ll be wrong every time.
7-Eleven didn’t change their name when they started staying open 24 hours. Now let it go. 17. Since Jeremiah Masoli was ruled ineligible, Ole Miss coach Huston Nutt will go after other soldiers-for-hire. But the Rebels will still finish last in the SEC West.
On the upside, B.A. Barracus will make 2nd team all-conference at linebacker. 18. Virginia Tech will upset Boise State in Week One. Tyrod Taylor will jump to the top of the Heisman watch lists. And then Virginia Tech will then gift wrap the ACC title for Miami with the same two inexplicable conference losses the Hokies always seem to manage.
19. Top 25 team (not named North Carolina) most likely to tank this season: #19 Penn State. A freshman QB, a suspect offensive line and road trips to Alabama, Iowa and Ohio State are not good omens.
20. Unranked team most likely to join the party: You heard it here first, Connecticut will win the Big East.
Yes, I’m sure we’re not talking about women's basketball.21. Player most likely to be benched at least three times this season: South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia
A couple of random notes:
Biggest Badass: Miami DE Allen Bailey. The man once killed an alligator. With a shovel. So he could eat it.
Bailey demonstrating his gator strangling technique.Best Name: Nebraska CB Prince Amukamara
I promise you NFL scouts know his name. Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.
Yesterday, Capital One unveiled the Capital One Cup and rolled out a line-up of A-list former collegiate athletes to help support the cause. For those familiar with the Director’s Cup in college athletics, the Capital One Cup will be limited to Division 1 sports only and awards $200,000 fund student athlete graduate scholarships. The bonus here is that both the men’s and women’s winners get it. The rankings are tiered out among three groupings with the big dogs such as football and basketball at the top and the lesser big dogs such as rowing and tennis at the bottom. Noticeably missing from the list is water polo, but that is a fight for another day.
Among those backing the Capital One Cup are greats like Lisa Leslie, Doug Flutie, Robin Ventura and Clark Kellogg.
HHR had the chance to check in with Special K himself, Clark Kellogg, to discuss the Cup, NCAA hoops, and why listening to your wife is often the best advice.
Image: John P. WiseCadillac Mescallade: Clark first tell me a little about this program, how you might describe it, and why you got involved?
Clark Kellogg: The Capital One Cup is a prestigious new honor awarding NCAA Division 1 athletic programs for their cumulative performance across multiple Men’s and Women’s sports. I got involved primarily through Capital One designating me and some others that have been division one athletes in our past that have a platform to use to help present this new program to the public to fans, to the media, to institutions, as one worthy of following and getting behind.
The other thing was it seemed to embody the values of the NCAA in regards to student athletes when you talk about commitment and excellence and integrity and teamwork and those are certainly pillars that I’ve tried to embody in my own life and in my time as a student athlete, and as an NBA athlete, and currently in everything that I do; and to have a chance to be partnered with Capital One in presenting the Capital One Cup and also the other advisory board members, Rece Davis from ESPN, Lisa Leslie, Brandi Chastain, Robin Ventura, and Doug Flutie.
But to be part of a team that is going to help publicize and support and promote the Capital One Cup which is going to give a trophy to the winning program at the end of the three sport seasons and then also make a 200,000 dollar donation to the scholarship fun for graduate level studies for student athletes, to me, just sounded like a tremendous opportunity to shine a bright light on the positive working relationship between athletics and academics and to be a small part of a team that is trying to promote that.
CM: People that follow college athletics will be familiar with the Director’s Cup which similarly awards institutions based off cumulative results, how will the Capital One Cup differ?
CK: A couple of points. One is the 200,000 dollar scholarship contribution and that goes to a women’s program winner and a men’s program winner so that’s a total of 400,000 dollars that will be made available to the winning programs for their scholarship funds for post graduate studies. The Capital One Cup is exclusive to Division 1 Championships where as the Directors Cup has awards for Divisions 1, 2, 3 and NAIA, and the Capital One Cup also distinguishes between men’s and women’s athletics programs.
The other point I would make is that the national championships and first place finishes in the Capital One Cup are rewarded more strongly than with the Director’s cup. In other words there is a weighted part to accumulating points. You get more points in the Capital One Cup for National Championships and first place finishes, based on some sports may not have a national championships but they will have some official ranking or order of finish. That official ranking will be used to determine points that will be accumulated for the Capital One Cup.
CM: Sounds like a pretty good initiative there…
CK: Yes it does, it excited me on a number of levels. I’m extremely thrilled and honored to be part of the team.
CM: You're back with the Pacers now in a new role with Player Relations, what will that role involve?
CK: The title is Vice President of Player Relations. o it is a front office position where I actually oversea an area of player relations which involves mentoring our players, and creating programs to help them navigate the unique demand and challenges of being pro athletes especially as they come to us really young and undeveloped in a lot of different ways. Community involvement is certainly an aspect of that, but really I look it at as a mentoring role to help our young men grow into champions on and off the court. That’s a one sentence definition that I’ve tried to communicate to our folks and what I’m looking at my job being.
CM: Outside of that you have perhaps one of the best jobs going announcing the Men’s NCAA Tournament. How essential was it that any new job you took allowed you to still work March Madness?
CK: [chuckles] Well you know what I was not looking for anything else to put on my plate. I have tremendous loyalty to the Indiana Pacers as the team that drafted me back in 1982. I played five years there before knee injuries cut short my career in 1987. I’ve been a TV and radio broadcaster for the Pacers over the last 23 years. They approached me after the Final Four with this possibility and thought I would be an ideal fit and a good fit for this role and certainly something that resonates in my heart to be able to try to help people to use the platform God has given me through sports experiences and being a dad of young athletes and all that I’ve had on my plate in and around sports.
They were adamant about me not giving up anything; they wanted me to do this in addition to my role at CBS and continuing to do Indiana Pacers television. After I prayed about it and got my wife’s blessings then we were able to move forward because it is indeed a very very full plate for me but I’m excited and looking forward to it and I’ll try to do it to the best of my ability to serve our players and our franchise.
CM: Always helps to have the wife’s blessing I’m sure…
CK: Oh it’s a must, it’s an absolute must. I’m always a work in progress in learning that. I need to listen to her more and more as we journey our lives together.
CM: Looking back to the NCAA Tournament, save for the Super Bowl, March Madness has to be the most anticipated sporting event every year, you see it every year, you played in it, what in your opinion makes it so great?
CK: There are so many layers to it. One, basketball is a terrific game, it’s an exciting game, it’s a game that’s comfortably enjoyed in person or on television, it’s a fast-paced high-energy game. I think when you talk about college loyalties; fan bases, alumni. I think the brackets the are a huge part of it, and I’m not naïve enough to say some of the gambling that takes place, although I don’t condone it or endorse it, I know that is an appeal to a segment of the population. I think the one and done element, the fact that you have to win to move on heightens the excitement and the drama, the unpredictability. There are so many things, the fact that you will typically have programs make a name for themselves during that three weeks in March is unique and feeds into America’s infatuation with the underdog or the Cinderella. Those are some of the things that jump out at me. And then it’s three weeks! It’s a pretty condensed period of high stakes basketball culminating with one team standing with the national championship trophy.
Image: Cleveland.comCM: Lastly, I know we are still a ways from getting the season started but do you have any thoughts on some early favorites to make it to the Final Four?
CK: No, I typically don’t jumpstart myself, I’ve learned a while back that you need some defragment (time) so I don’t start looking at my notes or DVRs from last year until sometime after Labor Day. You’re catching me a tad short of being able to zero in on any prognostications or guess-timations, but hopefully we’ll get a chance to talk once when we get closer to Midnight Madness time and I’ll at least have a couple of nuggets to throw out there at you.
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So there is a quick chat with Clark Kellogg, keep an eye out for the Capital One Cup, it’ll be interesting to see if this takes off. The Director’s Cup kind of flies under the radar, for example did you know Stanford has won the last 16 in a row! Yep 16…hopefully this new cup can spread the wealth a bit.
For more information visit capitalonecup.com.
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And really, what more could a Yankees fan want?
SUBWAY Baseball DeSIGNS tour is a collection of baseballs decorated by Little Leaguers and signed by professional athletes and celebrities. The display has been making tour stops across the country and is currently set up at the Little League Baseball World Series in Williamsport, PA. The 40+ baseballs are also viewable at SubwayKids.com and the Official SUBWAY® Facebook page.
The auction of the baseballs is live and ends Sunday (29th). All proceeds benefit the Little League Urban Initiative
Really funny interview by friend of HHR Chris Illuminati over at EgoTV. He had the chance to talk to former Dallas Cowboys coach and soon-to-be Survivor contestant Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy talked about the show, his coaching days and talked up some flag football competition called the Jimmy Bowl he is coaching for Crown Royal.
The most interesting nugget from the whole interview was a comment about his old QB and current Fox analyst Troy Aikman. When asked who would never last a day on Survivor, Jimmy was first to vote Troy off the island.
Let’s start with Troy (Aikman). Troy has been a primadonna all his life. I mean Troy was a great, great player but he would cry the first minute on the island that he didn’t get his food, or his special diet or didn’t get his eight hours sleep. So Troy wouldn’t last in the game.
Jimmy was probably joking but it's some funny stuff. Bet Troy would at least wait until all the guys had their shirts off before he asked to leave.
EgoTV Interviews Former Dallas Cowboys Coach And Survivor: Nicaragua Contestant Jimmy Johnson (EgoTV)
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Gary Busey has a message for all fantasy football owners: you better think twice before you draft Adrian Peterson.
Busey and Peterson both star in “Time to Collect,” a video from vitaminwater that features Busey as Norman Tugwater – a maniacal lawyer who demands that his client (Peterson) receives compensation for his fantasy football rights. The humorous video also features a cameo from Shaq. Visit www.tugwater.com for more.
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HHR contributor and resident water polo expert Cadillac Mescallade is blogging Down Under.
Follow him and the US Team here.
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It happens every year. It’s time to start your fantasy draft and one guy—you know, the guy that nobody really knows and is just a friend-of-a-friend who was supposed to join your league and bring the beer—calls with a sob story about how his car won’t start and his girlfriend needs him to run some errands and his favorite dog died and, long story short, he won’t be able to make the draft.
You can’t do a draft with an odd number of players, and nobody else can come up with a replacement. You're screwed, right? Well not anymore, thanks to the magic of Craigslist! When all else fails, just hop online, get yourself a replacement buddy and, like magic, your draft is ready to go.
As the ad so eloquently puts it: old buddy for sale or trade
"he is about to turn 42, and has just outlived his usefulness, he is helpful at working on old cars, but he will drink up all your beer, and get on your nerves (A LOT) but if you can use him just email me with offers, cash or otherwise. i might concider trading him for a bulldog puppy, but no cats please, honestly he's a pretty good guy to have around if your workin on old cars, or junkin, and sometimes even if your roofin your house, but my wife said he's gotta go, so he's outa here,">
Proceed with caution. This photo says it was taken in the year 2043, which means he may actually be a time-traveling ringer who nows all the best sleeper picks for the next 30 years. So let him into your league at your own risk.
Sure, you’ll have to provide the beer which your new buddy will drink all up, but at least your draft can proceed and you made a new friend in the process.
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*Warning, this post contains lame football metaphors in honor of Jay’s campaign commercials*
The political career of former NFL tight end Jay Riemersma came short of the endzone last week. Riemersma lost by an extra point, a slim margin of 1 percent of the vote.
Jay or J.R., which he preferred to be called as people fumbled saying and spelling his last name, came into the race as a flashy new rookie ready to show the old veterans that he was the answer that the people yearned for.
With the fans primed for an outsider to take the state and country to the promise land, he had the wind at his back. However, when the game was on the line, his attempt missed just wide.
Riemersma came out of the tunnel aggressive looking to fight in the trenches. He hired a campaign agent notorious for negative politics, and he got what he paid for (personally too as he dumped a signing bonus in the race).
In the end, the decision to go negative in fan base that is more Kurt Warner than Dick Butkus very well could have been the deciding factor.
Jay’s campaign relentlessly attacked his opponents by pounding the ball against their legislative records. However, when his opponents finally threw a flag in the waning minutes by suing him for defamation and filing a complaint with the FEC for illegally coordinating attack ads, the negative attention was squarely placed on Jay’s shoulders.
Finally, in the last debate, one of his opponents threw a tight spiral right between Jay’s numbers, and Riemersma couldn’t handle it.
Asked whether his campaign illegally coordinated the negative ads against his opponents, he tried to juke, jive and explode through the hole with political rhetoric but ended up with big negative yardage. Enough so, that the crowd turned on him and he had to ask to repeat the question.
After another failed attempt to reach the line of scrimmage, a scrawny DB came from the backfield and sacked Riemersma by yelling out, “Man up!”
When election night came, it went deep into overtime with the final victor being declared around 4 a.m. Riemersma went to the showers 658 votes shy of being a star.
Jay has time on his hands, and with term limits cycling legislators in and out like Broncos running backs, he could soon put on the shoulder pads and give it the old college try again. We will wait to see if the practice paid off and he tries a different playbook.
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