This is a reproduction of original documentation kept by HHR friend Mayor Dooley. The reports are, for the most part, factual. They monitor the primal habits of a female co-worker, who proves to be nothing less than the iconic and somewhat stereotypical mid-twenty-something former high school athlete. Needless to say, you probably work with someone very similar, perhaps dated her in her athletic heyday, and probably see her out a townie bars everywhere you turn.

Lucky for us, many of the stories happen to coincide with this time of year, so the timing of the release is impeccable.

We encourage readers new and old to check back frequently, because we guarantee this is comedic gold and has a sitcom written all over it.

To protect her innocence the young lady in these diaries will be from here known as Doris Murhpy or "D.M." in honor of a certain actor/movie character that fits our heroine's forte.

Entry 1: "Oooh, are those SnackWells?"

The aforementioned large girl I work with currently known as D.M. (high school softball nickname withheld), comes by my workspace this morning, bagel lathered in cream cheese in one hand, large choco milk in the other. I am sipping my hangover coffee and pealing the wrapper off a Nutrigrain bar (strawberry/blueberry twist) and I hear, "Ooh, are those Snackwells?"

As I thought to myself, "No fatty", I reply, "Don't you have enough on your plate?"

She chuckles and clogs away. At lunch, Turkey Club, with "all the fixins", chips, Nutrigrain bar, and large choco milk. And the capper,

"I can't wait to get all sexed up Wednesday night and hit the town."

Can't wait for Thanksgiving stories.

Entry 2: "Eenie Meenie Miney Moe"

D.M. had two bags of chips today, said she couldn't decide which to get, so settled for both.

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Click Here for Entry 3
Entry 4