Because that champagne shit is so 1972.

Bill Belichick will attempt a smile.

Tom Brady will get a living relative of the Dolphins '72 team pregnant.

Tom seduces Mrs. Cszonka

In later years, dig up Don Shula's corpse and kick it in the nuts.


Randy Moss will cornrow Merc Morris' artificial box fade.


Jager Shots.


Stephen Gostkowski will reenact the play that made Garo Yepremian famous.