Sunday, December 30, 2007

Patriots vs. Giants Recap, Or Why Channel Five Can Lick My Cornhole

I watched a hell of a competition yesterday. Professional athletes, mixed with a little celebrity, in a game where the smallest defect was not only exploited by opponents but on display for an entire national audience to see. Who could have expected the underdogs - with nothing really on the line - to put up such a gritty fight against the more established competitors? All I can say is when Natalie Gulbis nailed her first shot over the water hazard to within 5' of the pin on the last challenge of the day, you knew the pairings of Bubba Watson/Dan Marino and Greg Norman/Roger Clemens finally had a game on their hands. I speak of course of the PGA ADT Skills Challenge. What a ride! Then I heard there was a football game on so I watched it.

Channel Five's camera may have panned across those T-shirts for just a second, revealing the trendy new gloat-garb for New England, but it felt like a day at the DMV. Who in their right mind would show something like that? Had that happened with the Red Sox in a similar position, the Massachusetts legislature would have passed a bill in 20 minutes proclaiming that pummeling an on-site network producer who flouts sports karma is considered justifiable homicide. I tried to look away, but I saw the shirt. The shirt that was 100% responsible for Eli Manning playing like an NFL quarterback.
Channel Five decided to taunt the Football Gods and it came back in a big way - via a kickoff return for a TD and overall special teams meltdown that kept the game closer than it should have been. People were surprised with the quality of Eli Manning's play, especially Cris Collinsworth - which was weird. This game meant nothing to the Giants. NOTHING. Of Course Eli had a big game. It was four full quarters of garbage time! To paraphrase Ralph Wiggum: Garbage Time - Where Mannings are vikings!

Ren and Fat Willard's moaning about Rodney Harrison - who was clean this entire year by the way - while amusing, shows how crazy this Patriots season is than anything else. There was nothing to really criticize about the Pats, was there? Pundits and other bloggers seemed personally offended that the Pats were dominating without a running game. Belichick gave the finger to the NFL the entire way through the season, but it wasn't in running up the score - it was the decision to abandon any pretense of a viable ground game - the first commandment of the NFL: Thou shalt run the ball. True Story: somewhere in suburban Maryland, Gregggg Easterbrook melted.

It was a great game to watch, especially if you like yelling WELKAHHHHH!!!! WELKAHH!!!! HE'S LIKE DUSTIN PEDROIA WITH MUSCLES!!!!! Which, my wife apparently does.


JC said...

In suburban Baltimore County, I also melted.

From love.

Pro-Hat Party said...

you know TMQ is still on his kick, saying the running game will be the Pats downfall in the playoffs.

How awful is it that I almost want the Jags to beat the Steelers cuz I think they can give the pats the better game? Pretty awful I'd say.

Of course, the last time I was this down on the Steelers in the playoffs, they won the Super Bowl (for the 5th time).