It always takes at least two seasons for TO to become an a-hole.....

Season two in Philly was the sideline blowup with McNabb and the meltdown. Season two with the Cowboys and TO wants McNabb back. First Peyton Manning. Then McNabb. Because he misses him.

The song is burned in my head. But at least it drowns out the image of Hogan seducing a newborn.

Hulk Hogan in a Japanese commercial.

WWE suspends TEN superstars

How does this effect the world of rasslin? Wrestling insider Eric Gargiulo tells us.

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Through high school and multiple college degrees, I never made the time to actually pick up a book and read for pleasure, and it wasn't all that often I picked one up for academic purposes, either. Somehow, I survived, and upon entering the "real world," really made up for lost time. I now find myself escaping by simply plowing through all sorts of written genres. Who knew reading could be so fun, relaxing and enriching...seriously?

My two favorite times to read - on a plane or on vacation. Fortunately for me, I happen to be on the latter. Unfortunately for me, I left the book I had recently started, Paddy Whacked: The Untold Story of the Irish American Gangster at home. Honestly, the work ebbs and flows in terms of keeping my interest, but I haven't given up on it yet.

This was a problem. As was the local ma and pa bookstore without many recent releases. I settled on 3 classics: Orwell's Animal Farm (which I actually did read in high school, enjoyed and understood and appreciated the satire), Ayn Rand's We the Living (I'm a glutton, having only finished Anthem, and having been defeated by Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged - but I am determined to conquer them), and finally, Milton's Paradise Lost - the one of the three I ended up cracking open on the shore. Rather, I hammered my way through the first five books of the epic poem, realized that I began questioning existence itself and decided this was no way to relax on the beach.

At Fat Dubya's suggestion I went in search of Paul Shirley's Can I Keep My Jersey?: 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond. I am, thus far, so glad I did. Eff the classics, anything endorsed by Chuck Klosterman is classic enough for me. I find myself laughing out loud quite frequently

As for the author himself, I've never read his blog (though now I wished I did). I've also not been very interested in the NBA since 1993. Because of these two facts, I hadn't heard or read much about this book. With no expectations, and with no bias towards the subject or author, I'd say the piece is highly enjoyable whether you are a pro hoops fan or not. I’ll check in when I’m done.

In honor of vacation reading and inspired by Mr. Shirley, I present "Ten from Ren": 10 sports books I've read and would highly recommend.

Ball Four-Jim Bouton: I start with this because, despite Klosterman's insistence to the contrary in his intro, Can I Keep My Jersey has serious similarities to Bouton’s masterpiece that got his ass blacklisted from pro ball. And this is a good thing. Ball Four is a raw, unadulterated and no-holds barred piece written in a diary format by a witty, honest intellectual amongst his more physically focused contemporaries. I’m not ready to put Shirley’s piece up against this, but I like his style, humor and particularly the format.

Friday Night Lights: A Town, a Team, and a DreamI actually spoke with a former resident of Odessa and graduate of Permian. She is in her 50’s and early 60’s and transplanted in the Northeast. This is before the acclaimed TV show and just after the movie came out. I mentioned how I appreciated the fact that the book went much deeper than its celluloid counterpart, particularly the social and racial aspects. She responded something along the lines of “Mr. Bissenger had a unique vision of how our community really was, and few agree with anything he portrayed.” Fair enough. Great book none the less. And I’ll be “that guy” and give it the old “better than the movie” bit.

The Miracle of St. Anthony: A Season with Coach Bob Hurley and Basketball's Most Improbable Dynasty-Adrian Wojnarowski: Of course I am biased toward anything Garden State related, this one, like FNL is great because it transcends sports and takes a look at the struggles and hardships of a community where little is offered in terms of advancement outside of athletic success. Miracle, obviously is not in rural Texas, but rather urban Jersey City. After reading the book, I found myself pulling for these kids (well some of them), started following what they were doing in College. What Bob Hurley does, not just for his team and its players, but for the school itself, is nothing short of, appropriately, a miracle. The man is a saint.

Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game & The Blind Side: Evolution of a GameMoneyball has become a phenomenon, so I wont bore anyone with my poor attempts at wit. Blind Side brings me back to the social/high school sports element. Much different than my expectation (based mostly on MB), but still a good read.

Namath: A Biography, Mark Kriegel: Im not sure if I should credit Namath with changing the sport of professional football in ushering in the glitz and glamour of the game today, not to mention that of the modern superstar, or if I just plain should view him as a selfish dick. I’m torn between disgust and admiration.I think I’m leaning more toward pity. But he was a much tougher sonofabitch than I ever gave him credit for, and I can’t fault his taste in woman and liquor. I think his numbers were borderline terrible at times, but I think his health was more to blame than his ability.

Johnny U: The Life and Times of John Unitas, Tom Callahan: The antithesis of Joe Willie.

Raging Bull: My Story, Jake LaMotta: You want to know what I think about this book?

Eat This Book: A Year of Gorging and Glory on the Competitive Eating Circuit, Ryan Nerz: I read this one, and became an instant fan of glutton. Not to mention, I convinced myself I could set the peel and eat shrimp eating record. I earned the nickname Kobayashi for my sashimi eating prowess. But I digress. Just go eat the book. It’s fun. And amaze your friends by identifying the pro eaters on July 4 and supplementing them with little known tidbits on Eater X, the Locust and the lot.

Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive ScrabblePlayers,Stefan Fatsis: Hey, it’s on ESPN, right? If Ariel and I weren’t word freaks to begin with, this book had me memorizing “q without u words” and studying my two and three letter word lists. Really.

Honorable Mentions:

Positively 5th Street, James McManus
Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions,Ben Mezrich

This is just pure genius....

From MSNBC Sports...

HILLIARD, Ohio - A high school student who tricked football fans from a crosstown rival into holding up signs that together spelled out, “We Suck,” was suspended for the prank, students said.

Kyle Garchar, a senior at Hilliard Davidson High School in suburban Columbus, said he spent about 20 hours over three days plotting the trick, which was captured on video and posted on the video-sharing Web site YouTube. He said he was inspired by a similar prank pulled by Yale students in 2004, when Harvard fans were duped into holding up cards with the same message.

Watch them suck here....

From Fan Nation Truth and Rumor section:

Brewers finger ace for return
Posted: Wednesday August 29, 2007 09:33AM ET

That's a hell of a way to get Ben Sheets to pitch again. Did they at least by him dinner?

A little nugget about our favorite baseball instructor...

In 2003, an Internal Revenue Service probe into unpaid back taxes revealed that Tom Emanski's net worth exceeded $75 million, most of it derived from his instructional videos, making Emanski the nation's wealthiest instructional sports entrepreneur.



You owe me Emanski.

I love stories like this...

"The newspaper reported that [Travis] Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in Tennessee, Florida, North Carolina and Georgia. He has been ordered to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving the child living in DeKalb County...Wellon, said that Henry wanted all of the children to visit him at training camp."

I hope Chris Connelly has the ESPN cameras rolling for this event. These are the heartfelt stories I want to hear about. I'm tired of the kids with rare diseases meeting their favorite sports stars. I want to see kids meeting their father, brothers and sisters for the first time, and hear the life stories of the self-respecting mothers.

Next month he can do Shawn Kemp. Those kids should be approaching their teenage years by now.

This never gets old.

Former Cubbie's Manager Lee Elia addressing the media in 1983. He makes Brett Myers' media blurbs sound like Condie Rice.

Listen to Lee sound off. (Warning- not suitable at work. Hell I am not even sure this is suitable anywhere.)

Seeing as how I am the de facto college sports personality on this site, Ren encouraged me to enter a public college football “pick em” league for the glory of HHR. Of course, I could not resist this temptation, given my thorough enjoyment of college football and my own minor proclivity towards sports betting.

Basically, it works like this: You get a list of ten games for which you have to pick the winner. Then, as an added kicker, you have to rank your picks in order of certainty. So, in theory, you should rank the most obvious blowouts higher on your list and you’re not-so-sure picks lower down. However, the real gamblers will put the less-of-a-sure thing games higher in their list with the hope of picking up more points that more risk-averse bettors will miss out on.

I took the safe route this week just so we could get HHR on the board. But if I struggle early, I’m not against pressing later on in the season.

Without further ado, here are the picks:

10 points: Marshall (5-7) at Miami-FL (6-6) – New Miami coach Randy Shannon has one goal in mind heading into this season: keep the criminals in line. If he does that (and early indications say he will), the Canes will have another strong team this year. Sorry Marshall, Matthew McConaghey can’t save you in this one.

9 points: Washington State (6-6) at Wisconsin (11-1) – Off tackle left, off tackle right, play action pass. There you have it folks - Big Ten football!

8 points: Missouri (8-4) at Illinois (2-10) – Two words: Ron Zook. Great recruiter, not so great coach (see: 2006 Florida Gators). The Zooker keeps his bad seafood face on for a little while longer as Mizzou wins this year’s renewal of the “Bragging Rights” game.

7 points: Kansas State (7-5) at Auburn (10-2) – Every male in the deep south, which includes Auburn, has what I call the Beatle-swoop. The hair is long in the front and then, literally swooped to the side. I’ve never really understood it, but it is the near universal hairstyle for an entire region of the country. They also wear “Croakers”, the kind of stretchy, rubbery safety straps that you attach to your sunglasses so you make sure you don’t lose them after a rough day of tailgating. Among many things I find peculiar with my friendly neighbors to the South.

6 points: UCLA (7-5) at Stanford (1-11) – This would probably be closer if it was a volleyball match. But it’s football, and the Bruins are going to roll in this Pac-10 opener for both teams.

5 points: Oklahoma State (6-6) at Georgia (8-4) – Another Big XII team on the road at an SEC stadium. Prognosis: not so good for OK State.

4 points: Tennessee (9-3) at California (9-3) – I’ve always found it odd to me that a football team based in Berkeley, CA would actually be good. Considering it’s ground zero for thoughtful, peace-loving liberals on the west coast, frankly I’m surprised they actually have competitive sports. I mean, these are the same people that want to outlaw tag and dodgeball in elementary school because it encourages pack-mentality and irrevocably damages the psyches of weaker-minded - or, I should say, more sensitive children. Yet they embrace football, one of the most violent contact sports in America. Strange to me, but it is what it is.

3 points: Georgia Tech (9-4) at Notre Dame (10-2) – Part of me is glad that Pravda – err, NBC – will no longer be able to do their inevitable father-son bonding story highlighting all the great things Charlie Weis did to make Brady Quinn a good quarterback and a better person. That thought comes with the near certain realization that I’ll now have to keep hearing the same story over and over and over again, only now with Jimmy Clausen in the green freshman, wet-behind-the-ears role. Kill me now.

Notre Dame still doesn’t play a lick of defense, so methinks the Jackets have a chance. Georgia Tech in a squeaker.

2 points: Colorado State (4-8) at Colorado (2-10) – You think Dan Hawkins is happy he left Boise State for the mess he inherited at Boulder? Things are so bad in Colorado that some pundits are openly calling for the school to be kicked out of the Big XII. Who knows who wins this game … and frankly, who cares!

1 point: Arizona (6-6) at Brigham Young (10-2) – I should probably be taking BYU in this one, considering the whole team is comprised of 30-year old, married Mormon missionaries who generally have a better grasp on life than their 19 to 20 year old opponents. Plus, they get major bonus points because the cheerleaders are not ugly. This is a wonderful example of what no caffeine or alcohol will do. Big Love is not just a great show, it’s a state of mind.

However, I was watching the movie Speed not too long ago, right at the point where Keanu figures out why Dennis Hopper keeps calling Sandra Bullock (in a surprisingly good turn in her first crack at a major movie) “the Wildcat”.

Keanu: “I’ll be damned …”
Sandra: “What??”
Keanu: “The University of Arizona. They have a good football team.”
Sandra: “Yeah, I guess so …”
Keanu: “The University of Arizona … Wildcats … he can see you …”

Now that’s some acting! Hey Wildcats, I can see you too. The Keanu factor outweighs everything else. ‘Zona wins in Utah, earning HHR a point.

We’re off and rolling, so check back next week and see where we stand.

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

If people weren't sure how powerful the internet is, this should leave no doubt. The internet is serious business.

Click here to found out how serious.

Ref's have a crappy job. I'm sure it has some perks but overall it's a thankless position where no one notices you unless you make a mistake. Or you get maimed in the line of duty.

During last night's Eagles vs. Steelers preseason tussle, I was reminded just how dangerous it is to be a referee. NFL ref's usually do a decent job of blending into the background and going unnoticed. I was hoping to find better video, but this is the best I found. It's enough to prove my point.

So while searching for that vid, I checked for some of the worst referee injuries.

These are my Top 5.

Honorable Mention: He isn't a referee but he is an usher for the Texas Rangers so its sports related. And it will get us ready for the next five


5.) Act like you’ve been there before and other good reasons not to spike the ball.


4.) And that glass is coming out of your pay


3.) Been played a million times on TV but doesn't make it any less devastating:


2.) This isn't Larussa v. Lawrence, can we give the guy a second to collect himself before we finish the match


1.) I can't even make a joke here. I think the guy is a vegetable now:


-posted by Fat Willard

She is still an amatuer compared to our patron saint...

College student goes for hugging record. (MSNBC)

From Saturday night's Sillies loss...

After the game, Myers got into a shouting match with a reporter and had to be restrained by teammate Pat Burrell.

When Myers was asked about the two home runs, he said they were really "just pop ups."

A reporter from the Philadelphia Inquirer questioned whether Myers really thought they were pop ups, and Myers got angry.

"You're not even a beat reporter, you're a fill-in, you don't know anything about baseball," said Myers, who then called the reporter "retarded."

The Inquirer reporter asked if Myers could spell retarded, and Myers stood up. Burrell then restrained Myers, and Myers refused to speak any further

Myers has been a closer for not even half a season, what does he really know about being a closer? Considering his performance thus far, not much.

Know who I feel sorry for in all this? Mrs. Myers. Bet it was another banner night in the ole' Myers house.

Take a listen you retard (AUDIO)

Larry Anderson announcing Phils and Padres on 1210 radio...

After a Tad Iguchi steal of second base on Greg Maddux...

"One of the chinks in Maddux's armor is his inability to keep runners from stealing."

I think they prefer Chinese American...

Now, in the days before the word got out that Ookie was going to cop a plea bargain, you saw numerous individuals rallying in defense of Mr. Mexico. I'm talking about those individuals waving signs, voicing their support of the fallen superstar.

Hell, as late as this week you had Sha-nene stating on Access Hollywood:

“It’s a cultural thing, I think,” Jamie said. “Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star.”

Now, I'm not sure whether or not Foxx was trying to be, to paraphrase Joel Gertner, "as tongue in cheek as a lesbian orgy" or not, but I'm certain Starbury (despite his retraction) meant no when sarcasm when he said:

“We don’t say anything about people who shoot deer and shoot other animals, you know what I mean. From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It’s just behind closed doors. And I think it’s tough that we build Michael Vick up and then we break him down.”

Here's my problem with the whole situation. It wasn't so much the dog fighting per se, or even the gambling that I found truly disturbing. Rather, it was the idea of Ookie killing these animals via drowning, electrocution & hanging that was so heinous. This isn't a "mistake" or a "lapse in judgment." This is the sign of a sick mind.

So today, as the plea was filed, the crux of the deal says Vick simply bankrolled the operation; denying wagering on the fights, and stopping short of admitting his involvement in the killings.

Why then, if we take the man at his word, would he simply bankroll this without having a financial stake in the matter? Sure, this is probably to circumvent the gambling issues associated with NFL rules, not to mention the IRS. But that just leaves him taking sick pleasure in the goings-on.

This isn't so much a hobby or an err in judgement, this is just, well...I don't know. Call it what you will. But it's not normal behavior, regardless of your cultural upbringing.

I have lost respect for every MLB player who willingly participated in this video. I'll forgive So Taguchi. This isn't his native country.

Thanks to SPORTSbyBROOKS for Hugging us today...

Check it out here

Sound the fancy long trumpets, it is horse racing time. The horse racing event of the summer is on Saturday at Saratoga.

The Travers Stakes is one of the final preps for the Breeders Cup, where top contenders get their last workout in and where the also-rans try to become a swan.

This year is a no brainer on the winner. He is this year's darling: Street Sense. Rightfully so, as he recently won the Jim Dandy stakes and hasn't shown any weaknesses. And then there is the competition.

Street Sense has already beat the top two contenders in the Jim Dandy, CP West and Sightseeing. But the most interesting component to this race is going to be the pace. Four of the six remaining horses are closers. They set off the pace hoping for easy pickings when the rest of the field is gassed. Unfortunately for them, the pace should not prove exceptional, and Street Sense has proven to be a better closer and a capable stalker.

Two unknown in this race are CP West and Grasshopper. CP West has lately been trained to go for the lead and set the pace. The race is prime for a front runner to take it and keep it. However, CP West seems to prefer finishing in the money rather than winning the money.

On the other hand, Grasshopper ran like Forrest Gump breaking his leg brackets last time out. Unfortunately for him, this race is more like Forrest trying to out run the truck full of high schoolers than running away from Jenny's drunk dad.

Coach Dunbar's Strategery: Exacta Key: Street Sense as the winner with Sightseeing and Grasshopper boxed for second. Long shot pick if better than 20-1, the Grasshopper.

-posted by C.R. Dunbar

Yankees: We'd love to have the Yanks represented by superfan Andrew Giuliani, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.



Red Sox: We wanted to say, Nelson de la Rosa, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.



Blue Jays: ARod's stripper...just beat out Rance Mulliniks



Devil Rays: There is an MLB team in Tampa? Well, if we must pick, we'd pick lazy Bobby Abreau, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.

Orioles: Billy F-Face Ripken



White Sox: Ozzie Guillen: He's so popular in Chi-Town, that a gay bar named a drink after him, the "Effen Ozzie GuillenTini."



Indians: Rick Vaughn: He of the California Penal League fame.

Tigers: Moneyballer & Jersey Boy Chris Pittaro: Said Sparky Anderson. “Chris Pittaro is the best young player I’ve had in 15 years.” Damn you, Lou Whitaker. Damn you.

Royals: Willie Wilson, of 1980 WS fame.



Twins: Billy Heywood.

Mariners: Jim Bouton: OK, well he was a Pilot, but who's counting, so tell your statistics to shut up.

Angels: Tony Danza: Aye, Oh, Oh, Aye! There's Angelers in the Outfield, Samanta! Go tell Jonatin.



A's: Jose Canseco: He keeps it real.



Rangers: Dubya: Don't mess with Texas.

Longtime minor league skipper Trembley to lead O's in '08

(Orioles GM Andy) MacPhail extended Trembley's contract through the 2008 season, with a club option for 2009. The announcement came Wednesday, but Trembley received the news Saturday night in Toronto while having dinner with MacPhail.

"I wanted to see how he'd react if we went through a tough skid, and it really didn't happen. The team still played well," MacPhail said. "There comes a time when you've just got to get yourself focused and give everybody an opportunity to get set for '08 as best you can."

****

Rangers' 30 runs sets AL record in rout of Orioles

The Texas Rangers rounded the bases at a dizzying pace and became the first team in 110 years to score 30 runs in a game, setting an American League record Wednesday in a 30-3 rout of the Baltimore Orioles.

Video Footage:




-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

(thanks to Frank for finding this gem)

We got wind here at HHR that ESPN was doing a feature on their site called Face of the Franchise. While their picks seemed, let's say "reasonable," we thought of much better faces you'd want representing your ball club.

As such, we give you the HHR picks...

Atlanta: Otis Nixon: What other face would you want representing your team?



Marlins: Harry Caray:

Harry Caray: They won't be a factor! Trust me! ... Hey, Norm! You ever been alone in a room face to face with a marlin?

Norm MacDonald: No. Nope.

Harry Caray: No matter where you go in the room, its eye follows your every move. ... You should try it some time. It's a rush! ... I should know -- I used to hunt them.

Norm MacDonald: Really? You - you hunted marlins, huh?

Harry Caray: No. Indians. ... I've got a whole closet full of scalps at home. ... They're just collecting dust. The government stopped buying them years ago. ... Hey, Norm! Ya interested in buyin' a scalp?

Mets: Doug Sisk: If you can represent a group called the "Scum Bunch," you're ok in our book and can certainly represent el Mets.

Phillies: Koy Detmer: He needs work, Philadelphia loves him, there's more Eagles chants at Phillie games than any other ruckus not associated with booing Pat "The Pat" Burrell (he is what he is). The Phils can use some bullpen help so why not grab the world's best holder? Plus, who doesn't love a good neck beard?


Nationals: Tim "Rock" Raines: True story...Im at RFK wearing a Phillies hat and a kid in front of me asks if I am from Philly. I asked if he was from Montreal. Touche.

Cubbies: Bartman.
Reds: Shottzie: To Keep Mistress Marge's legacy alive.


Astros: Jackie Earl Haley: LET THEM PLAY! LET THEM PLAY!

Brewers: Randal Simon: He likes to beat their meats.

Pirates: Kent Tekuvle: Only because my mother pronounces his name Tuckle-vee. Well, that and the stove-top cap.


Cardinals: Tony Larussa passed out at a light in spring training.

D-Backs: White Goodman: Ariel says they should just change their name to the "Snakes" because D-Backs sounds too much like D-Bags.


Rockies: John Elway.

Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles: Pedro Guerrero.

OJ Simpson to 911 operator: "We have a problem here. I'm trying to get a girl to go to rehab. ... She's been doing drugs for two days with Pedro Guerrero, who just got arrested for cocaine, and I'm trying to get her to leave her house and go into rehab right now."

Padres: The Chicken: of Baseball Bunch fame.

San Fransisco Baseball Giants: Will "The Thrill" Clark: His answering machine reportedly played " The Thrill is Gone."

While this isn't the first time Trot's been released from the Iggles, it's likely we've seen the last of the Axeman in a Birds uni.

Upon his return to South Philly from the sloppy abortion in Landover, MD, Trot played, as the talking heads like to term it, "downhill." Seemed like the last few years he was always around the pigskin (as he was before he first departed the team). At times it seemed he was the only one who would get fired up and play like he cared.

Photo: George Widman / AP

Gonna miss the big guy chopping wood.

The Birds just love letting go of fiery faves don't they?

Consider HHR a jinx...

From the Giants and Ravens preseason slugfest..

"New York won 13-12 Sunday night, but both teams lost key players during a physical affair. Two members of the Giants' starting defense left in the second quarter. Safety Will Demps, who started all 16 games last season, dislocated an elbow and cornerback Sam Madison pulled a hamstring."

This should give him plenty of time with his groupies. A trip to the IR list will heal his elbow and his gonorrhea.

-posted by Fat Willard

He is even a ballbuster in Spanish...



-posted by Fat Willard

This comes thanks to SportsbyBrooks

The BOSTON GLOBE reports Patriots receiver Donte' Stallworth has a 97 speed rating out of 100 in Madden 08. Pats running back Laurence Maroney to Stallworth: "Madden must not have watched you for a while. Not since you’ve been with us. Unless you did some things with the Eagles I didn’t see, I haven’t seen 95 or 97 out here today."

-posted by Fat Willard

This came as a complete shock, but according to New York Giants safety Will Demps NFL players have what are know as groupies. Women that follow the team around and hope to sleep with them.

I mean Demps is a handsome man. Just ask him. Better yet just take a peek. He even takes the time to answer fan mail. Notice they all from women. Check around the site. You can get pictures, read Will's inner-most thoughts, and buy a pair of his game worn shoes.

Mr. Demps wants us all to know that he is good looking, he does chicks, and he plays football. And Mr. Demps has bedded more then his fair share of them for those that were asking. Lord knows with the abortion of a Giants season ahead, it was top on my list of questions that needed to be answered before the season begins.

So, congratulations Will, I am proud that you have taken the low road and gone after the easiest women in the world. Because I am sure you are the only Giant these women have been with. I suppose my next question would be, how does Little Eli taste?

-posted by Fat Willard

In the wake of the death of Chris Benoit and, to a lesser extent "Crush" Adams, the 24-hour news outlets have clamored for anyone willing and able to offer any sort of insight into the PT Barnum/BALCO-esq world of sports entertainment.

During the Benoit brew-ha-ha, I couldn't help but notice one Johnny B. Badd all over Nancy Grace. And sure enough, when the Hawaiian member of Demolition passed, there he was again.

Good for him, I guess.

He goes from a Golden Gloves boxing champ. To Little Richard impersonator. To married to a smokin' wife. Dicthes the LR gimmick. Splits with the wife. Gets a monkey heart. And now he is the go-to 'rasslin guy on cable news.

Life could be worse. And here I just remember him over a decade ago referring to the Rapmaster PN News as a "big 'ol ugly bear." (Nice Mooseknuckle).

Bring out the confetti gun.

Aside from his face looking like that of the guy from V for Vendetta, I actually don't mind him, and find him to be reasonably insightful. While it's my understanding that he's ruffled some feathers within the biz, I would love to see a book. Here's a borderline superstar, stock faded fast, dabbled in some unsavory stuff himself, and now is the guy who steps back and says, "Hey, put my ass on tv. I'll open up for you."

He's the Jose Canseco of pro-wrestling. And, again, I say good for him.

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) - Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman was charged with two counts of second-degree assault after hitting an opposing team's pitcher and catcher with his bat during an independent minor league game.

Offerman posted $10,000 bond and was due in Bridgeport Superior Court on Aug. 23, court officials said Wednesday.

Offerman, playing for the Long Island Ducks in the Atlantic League, homered in the first inning Tuesday night. The next inning, he was hit by a pitch from Bridgeport Bluefish starter Matt Beech and charged the mound with his bat.


Interesting side note – Bridgeport Manager Tommy John (he of elbow surgery fame) was also thrown out in the fracas.


Atlantic League Baseball … It’s Exciting!

Members of the grounds crew place a memorial wreath of flowers by the plaque dedicated to New York Yankees Hall of Fame shortstop Phil Rizzuto, known as "The Scooter," in Monument Park at Yankee Stadium in New York, Tuesday, Aug. 14, 2007. Rizzuto died Monday, Aug. 13 at the age of 89.

Saying Holy Cow right here would be appropriate but it just wouldn't feel right.

You will be missed. Rest in Peace.

Don't Penalize Harvick-Montoya Emotion

While I agree with his argument, I cannot agree with the recommendation. If there's one major complaint I've had with NASCAR as a sanctioning body in Nextel Cup, it's been consistency. They seem to use that rule about "actions detrimental to stock car racing" to cover a whole lot of stuff rather than taking the time to explicitly state what's legal and what's not.

I agree with ole Larry Mac that the minor pushing and shoving between Harvick and Montoya does not deserve a NASCAR imposed penalty. But on the other hand, in order to be consistent, they must issue a penalty. These two numb-skulls got into a physical altercation on the track, and in the past such occurrences have warranted fines and point deductions. Although, I agree it was absolutely exciting to watch, NASCAR must be consistent, and they must issue penalties.

If nothing more than for what Kevin said on national TV in the post-incident interview, fines must be levied. I know I harp on it, but I'll mention it again. In 2004, Jr's leading the points, won at Talladega, and in his excitement, let the "s" word slip on national TV. NASCAR docked him 25 points, and arguably cost him the championship. If they can do it in that case, they certainly can issue a similar fine to Harvick for telling the TV audience he was going to kick Montoya's a**. Without getting in an argument about what constitutes a swear word, consistency is the key.

Now, having said all that, in the future, NASCAR should stop issuing measly fines and penalties for the very actions that make stock car racing great. Like Larry Mac points out, the fight between Donnie Allison and Cale Yarborough in the Daytona infield helped put the sport on the national radar screen. I know NASCAR is trying to shake the image of rough redneck sport, but that's what makes NASCAR great. You change it up too much, and you'll see those fan numbers start declining.

Success doesn’t really breed happiness. You would think it does, but it surely does not.

Take this year’s St. Louis Cardinals. Last year, I was thrilled beyond belief that I got to see my team win the World Series. After coming close to the pinnacle for the last few years, an otherwise mediocre team put it together for a 3 or 4 week stretch and won the whole thing. It wasn’t quite the most gratifying thing that has ever happened in my life, but as a Cards fan, it was pretty f’ing cool.

It was happy times in Cardinal Nation.

Then this season started and the whole sh*thouse went up in flames. We lost our ace Chris Carpenter to a blown-up elbow; he’s due to come back sometime in 2017. Without him, the staff’s ERA has ballooned to a healthy spot just over 5.00 earned runs a game.

Scott Rolen’s arthritic shoulder turned our power hitting, slick fielding third baseman into a poor man’s Scott Brosius. Edmonds’ collection of head, neck and back injuries have kept him on the bench, and the two year deal he signed before the start of the season looks to be about two years too long. Even Pujols has been having a so-so year, or at least compared with his stats from years past.

For a fan base generally regarded as a good, supportive crowd, things have been downright sour along the Mississippi this summer. I went to a game in St. Louis earlier this past June against the Phils and watched 90 year old Jamie Moyer carve the Cardinals up. Judging the abuse hurled at Juan Encarnacion that night, I feared his life was in danger.

Seriously. And remember, this is mild-mannered St. Louis - not the Bronx.

Things have generally stayed as sour since that June night. That is, at least until this past week when Cards fans received a glimmer of hope:

The return of the Rick.

Yes, this is the same Rick Ankiel who once dazzled opposing hitters with a mid-90’s fastball and a Koufax like curveball. To watch him throw was amazing; he was simply the best pitching prospect the Cardinals had produced since they traded Steve Carlton away. He was the next Bob Gibson.

That is, until he went absolute bat sh*t crazy and couldn’t throw the ball near the plate to save his life. It was a tragedy of EPIC proportions. From 60 feet, he was liable to kill somebody sitting in the 10th row behind home plate. There is no other way to describe it – he absolutely melted down, and there was nothing – NOTHING – anybody could do to stop it.

The battle against wildness was a losing one, and Rick said he was done as a pitcher. Then Rick said he wanted to be an outfielder. So the Cards brass shipped him off to low-A minor league clubs in their system and tried to develop him into an outfielder. Everyone knew he was a supremely talented athlete, but it was a stretch to say the least.

Quick side note: Apparently the Macho Man Randy Savage was once a promising baseball prospect in the Montreal Expos system who threw with his right hand. Then he suffered a freak accident that forced him to learn how to throw left-handed or give up baseball entirely. Of course, he learned how to throw left-handed and he made it back to professional baseball.

Now that could be just some inspirational yarn my high school baseball coach told us, and I have never corroborated it or verified its authenticity. Hell, I even get my wrestlers wrong from time to time (ask Ren). But that’s the type of feat Ankiel was attempting – reinventing himself as a ballplayer at the highest professional level in baseball.

So for a couple of years, Ankiel existed as a curious indulgence for Cards fans. He would show up at Spring Training and play moderately well, but no one really ever assumed he’d do anything as an outfielder. He was trade bait. Some people assumed he might start pitching again.

That is until he started hitting bombs off everybody. He hit 30 or so HRs for AAA Memphis before being called up to the big club last week. And guess what?

He’s still hitting bombs.

He’s got 3 HRs and 6 RBI in 4 games. He hit two in one game against LA, plus he made an amazing, back-to-the-infield catch on the warning track.

Cardinal Nation is positively giddy.

I tried explaining the magnitude of this to the wife, how nobody makes it back from what the Rick went through. She did her best to comprehend what I was telling her. She nodded her head understandingly, as if deep in thought, and replied:

“At least he’s hot”.

OK, so I guess he’s got that going for him too.

But for as putrid as this season has been (to this point), the Cards are only 5 ½ games back in the gawd-awful NL Central. That’s amazing in and of itself. And now we have the Rick patrolling RF for the time being, it may be just the shot in the arm that gets the Cards moving.

Of course, that is until the supernova implodes again. So you’ll understand why I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Michael Jack is beating the hell out of his wife.

(Photo from MLB.com)

Thanks to Philadelphia Will Do.

...or Kronik for that matter.

From WWE.com:

Brian "Crush" Adams passes away
Written: August 13, 2007

World Wrestling Entertainment has learned that Brian Adams, also known to our fans as Crush, has been found dead today. More details are unknown; stay tuned to WWE.com as they become available.

(Photos from Answers.com)

Thanks to Bethlehem Shoals at the Fan House for this gem.



Listen closely and you can almost hear Chris and Fat Mike swooning over this at WFAN.

Look for an update of "Watching crappy reality TV so you don't have to..." next week, when I chronicle our boy Will from Fat March (an HHR fan), as well as the kick off of the new season of The Hills. Seriously Heidi, just admit that it's fairly impossible that your breast grew 3 sizes naturally.... please...

-posted by Ariel

Pac-Man vs. Pacman

From the start, I think Ren was drawn to me because of my interest in, and enjoyment of, sports. Growing up as the youngest of 4 children and the only girl, it wasn't really a choice. I wanted to take dance lessons, but instead played softball for 12 years. I identify with competition, hard work, determination, being part of a team, giving it my all... all characteristics that sports instill in people.

I love sports... and I clearly love men.... but here are a list of things (in no particular order) that I do not love about sports OR men.

1. The need to be in 15 fantasy leagues in one sports season.

Ok. I like fantasy sports and was legitimately pissed when Ren let his 12-year-old cousin's friend take the open spot in his football league, and NOT me. BUT, I do not understand how it can be "fun" to be in more than 5 leagues and on any given sunday have all possible combinations of starting lineups to root for, update, strategize about, etc. Not only do I not understand this obsessive need, but then the need to check up on and "fix" the teams constantly, which occurs after work when attention and time should be spent with me.... EVERY Saturday and Sunday via the laptop, blackberry, cellphone, anything that has an internet connection, and could happen while we're at dinner, with friends, at a family function, you name it. Men become CONSUMED by FANTASY sports... obsessed isn't even strong enough to describe it and it drives women crazy.

2. And sticking with fantasy sports for a moment... Announcing any sort of personal "news" on a fantasy message board.

Engagements, new jobs, the birth of your child... all really great things. Not ok to post these on message boards as your way of telling friends. Really, it's not ok, and it definitely doesn't count as "telling people."

3. Jerseys.

It's ok to wear these to a game or when watching a game. It's not ok to wear these as part of a daily wardrobe. And I don't care if you're wearing your best jersey with your "good" jeans, you don't wear these out to dinner. Ever.

4. Sports Team Hats

It's ok to wear a hat in a color other than is normal for that team ONLY if you're a girl, or a rapper. Bottom line.

5. Complaining that someone's wedding interferes with a sporting event.
Ren and I got hitched at the end of March. Now one of my bridesmaids constantly reminded me of the fact that it was going to interfere with her ability to watch the NCAA tournament, but she is a die-hard college b-ball fan, and was more doing it to be funny, not because she really cared. BUT, she wasn't the only one. So many freaking people complained that they were going to miss the games, yada yada yada... guess what? Most of you, and you know who you are, don't give a rats ass about college basketball OTHER than the freaking tournament. You should have just stayed home and saved us the money and aggrevation.

Seriously, if you're going to complain about this sort of incident, complain silently and not to the bride and groom. It's rude. Ren and I attended a wedding last October on the Sunday of the Eagles/Cowboys game, and the first reunion of TO and his former team. This was difficult for us. But, we did not bother the bride with our issues, found a way to stay updated on the score, and in the end were glad we went to the wedding.

Life goes on. It's really not the end of the world.

6. Obsessive need to change the channels at every commercial break. EVERY one.

Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy watching commercials at any particular time. However, I do not feel the need to flip to every station imaginable in the midst of watching another show. I don't know if it's because women are hard-wired differently than men or what. Growing up in a house where me and my mom fell victim to remote-hogging men, this phenomenon became apparent at an early age. When Ren and I began co-habitating, it was again reinforced. Every commerical break he either changes the channel, or goes through all 150 channels in the Comcast guide, as if the shows listed will have magically changed in the past 7 minutes.

Same thing happens in the car. On weekends we usually tune in to sports radio. Living in this area we get both Philly and NYC stations, and there are a few choices for sports talk. Because I usually on pay partial attention to these guys, I often get confused because at one point someone is talking about Chase Utley's injury, and the next I am hearing dribs and drabs of a conversation about A-Rod... at which point I find it easier to take a nap than figure out what the hell I'm listening to.

Seriously guys, is it that you feel like you're missing out on something?

7. Tennis, Golf, and Bowling should never be televised

I have to say, I enjoy playing all of these sports (well Tennis and Golf frustrate me - too many years of swinging a softball bat - but are still fun) and I come from a family of bowlers, as ridiculous as that sounds. My parents met in a bowling alley, two of my brothers met their wives in bowling alleys, and one of those same brothers is a professional bowler. Regardless, none of these sports should ever be shown on television. There is nothing particularly visually gripping about any of these sports. At least bowling and tennis are matches between two competitors. Golf is a whole other ball of wax.

Boring, boring, boring. I know that bowling is only aired in the middle of the day on weekends, so I get that it's more of a filler. But golf tournaments take what seems to be weeks, as does tennis, for at least like 5 hours a day. The only sports that can ask you to committ that much time are the Olympics, and only because it's once every 2 years, and encompasses a bagillion different events.


To Be Continued....

-posted by Ariel

Spiezio to seek treatment for substance trouble

Merv Griffin in grave condition

Merv Griffin, the entertainment mogul, singer, talk-show host and horseman who has called La Quinta, Calif., home for 20 years, is in grave condition with cancer, according to media reports.

It’s become a Wednesday night tradition.

Braves and Mets from Shea Stadium and Fat Willard flying solo from the couch in South Jersey. Grab some crackerjacks folks, I am in this for the long haul (or until10pm). The pre-wife is at her final real estate class, so this could be the last one for this season. She has a ton of reality TV and Food Network to catch up on. My goal is to watch and review the entire game.

Tonight’s stupid mascot showdown.





It's like choosing the prettiest turd in the bowl.

Here is an interesting link and a disturbing picture.

Sean McDonough and Buck Martinez. Martinez might be the only credible commentator ESPN has and this is the first game I have seen him do in a month. Shame.

Temperature check: 93 degrees. Humidity makes it “feel like” 100 degrees. Living in Jersey, I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like my hair is going to melt off.

Toeing the rubber for the Metropolitans; El Duque. I’d love to know his true age. And on cue McDonough tells us he is 37. I say 37 with an asterisk. 1-2-3 first inning. Let’s keep up this pace kids.

Reyes starts off with a single. Passed ball on a pickoff attempt and Reyes is on second. Bet he would be faster if he didn’t wear so many necklaces. Bunt to third, sac fly, hello National League boring ball. 1-0 Mets after an inning.

The DHL commercial about Kenny Lofton cracks me up. Truly a funny spot. The premise is Kenny Lofton is rumored to go to a bunch of different teams. So you see his gear sent all over the place and there is still no real answer to where he could end up after a trade. It’s hysterical because no one gives a crap about Kenny Lofton.

McDonough discussing the rumored Reggie Miller un-retirement to join the Celtics. “Danny Ainge is doing his thing and doing it and doing it and doing it well. As we say in contemporary music.” I don’t know if I am pissed that he referenced a ten-year-old LL Cool J song or that he called it contemporary music.

Welcome to the plate the man who is single-handedly killing my fantasy season- Andruw Jones. He has a spider web tattoo on his elbow. Where did he serve time?

Time out for a medical report. Mine. My eye has been twitching all day. It’s shaking more than Michael J Fox on a massage chair. It’s been doing it on and off since I woke up. I am going to WebMd.

This is how hot it is. Braves and Mets. End of August. Mets are three games ahead in the standings. Shea Stadium is practically empty.

Found this online:

Q. For the past 2 weeks my eyes have been fluttering daily, sometimes several times a day. I spend all day sitting in front of a computer (19 in. monitor). Could this be the reason?
A. Your eyelids flutter or twitch because the muscle surrounding the eye is becoming fatigued. The muscle becomes fatigued after it has been constricting for long periods of time. For example, if you are squinting because of bright light or because you are having difficulty seeing, this will cause the muscular fatigue with resulting twitching. It is likely that your concentration on the computer display, perhaps paired with some difficulty in seeing is causing your problem. I suggest you take periodic breaks from your computer screen, evaluate if you have glare in your work environment, and consider having an eye examination.

And now we all know. Hugging Harold Reynolds. Keeping readers informed since July. Still 1-0 Mets after three full innings.

Minor rant: Want to get this out now. Jason Giambi coming off the DL will kill the Yankees playoff chances. They learned NOTHING from last season and putting Matsui and Sheffield into the lineup just because they couldn’t have 20+ million on the bench. It killed the whole team dynamic. Mark my words.

Proving my point- 8-2 Blue Jays after 3 innings. Giambi is DH-ing.

Top of the 6th and still 1-0 Mets. More important it’s only 8:36 pm. I might make it through a whole game. (Yes, I am fully aware I just mushed myself)

Is it? Is it? IT IS! Rickey Henderson is the Mets first base coach. I am praying he has a flashback and just takes a lead off first and gets into a stealing crouch.

Note to every professional baseball player: Don’t pick your nose in the dugout. The camera is going to catch you eventually. I think the cameramen might even look for it.

Found this when searching the Mets roster online.



Mrs. Met. I hope the Mets never win again.

Bottom of the 6th- 3-1 Braves.

MUSHED. And that is where the game review ends. The pre-wife is home. I am “always” watching sports and baseball is “always” on. So I let her watch what she wanted to watch.

This is what happened.

Three minutes of Making the Band Season 84.
Six minutes of Last Comic Standing Season 18.
Flipping
Flipping
Playing with the cat.
Flipping back and forth.

(I am getting up to make my lunch.)


Back to Making the Band.
Then Last Comic Standing.
Then back and forth.
I can’t figure out what’s going on in either show.
Wait…I got it. On one show, Diddy is trying to put together a band of terrible comedians. And then on the other a bunch of amateur singers and dancers are trying to make me laugh.

One quick flick to ESPN while she is in the bathroom.

Mets hold on. Mets 4 Braves 3

I consider that a victory for me as well.

-posted by Fat Willard

I am sort of sick of the catch-22 that men create for women and their knowledge of sports.

Usually one of three women exists when it comes to sports knowledge and enjoyment -

A.) A fan. This is the woman who does know something about sports. Not only will she rock a team's gear to a game, but she can fairly intelligently speak on the team/sport she is watching and is interested in. These women do not pretend to know all things about sports, but would like to be given the credit they deserve.

B.) A faux-fan. These girls wear a cute little tee-shirt or jersey because it's cute and their bf thinks they look hot in it, and they parade around and will shout out a name or statistic that EVERYONE knows, and "pretend" to know something about something she clearly knows nothing about.

C.) An anti-fan. These women have absolutely no interest in sports, and just couldn't be bothered.

Ok, so men, listen up. When you find a girl who fits description A - Embrace her. Encourage her. Inspire her to learn more and feed her desire to learn more. Take her to games, talk to her about the sports she's interested in. This will be a good thing, I promise. Do not make negative blanket comments about girls and sports in front of her - this pisses her off because she usually has friends like her, and therefore she is not the exception. Do not rip on her for not rooting for the "correct" team. She has her reasons, and is more than willing and able to discuss these reasons with you.

When you encounter girl-type-B - DO NOT encourage her. She is just trying to use this ruse to get you interested. DO NOT BE fooled. If she is interested, you'll get some regardless of whether or not you point out the obvious flaws in her sports arguments or comments. These are the girls that give girl-type-a a bad name, and that cause those negative blanket statements and generalizations to even be though about in the first place. You need to call her out on her bullshit, and stop it before it gets out of control. I am telling you that at least 70% of the time this will NOT affect your ability to get in her pants... I promise. And if you're not willing to risk that 30%, then let her go on just until you're satisfied, THEN call her out on the BS.

As far as girl-type-C, well, there isn't much to be said here. You take it or leave it. These girls are never going to enjoy sports, they may tolerate your enjoyment of them, but do not expect participation of any kind. You might be able to convince them to sit club level where there are indoor sofas, TV's, a stocked bar, and/or better food, but this is a shot in the dark. Cut your losses and move on.

-posted by Ariel

Ren and I watched Fat March the other night. It's a new weight loss/reality show on ABC. For some reason, any show involving weight loss has become a guilty pleasure of mine. I’m obsessed with the Biggest Loser, got sucked into Shaq's Big Challenge etc. Maybe it's because I've never had to overcome anything as tumultuous in my life other than the fact that I work all week to pay off loans for two degrees that are of little help in my profession but that’s a blog for a different day.

The show begins with twelve contestants who are tasked with walking 500 miles, from Boston to Washington, D.C. Each walker is supposed to finish the journey, which would result in a $100,000 prize. Not really much to say about the show to be honest. There was your normal catch-all of contestants; a preacher who cried too much, a "diva" who actually left the contest after two days and roughly 13 miles of walking, the mom you know will be hot after she drops a few pounds and the normal gaggle of endearing folks who you really want to lose weight.



Fat People Crossing next 500 miles.


There was one contestant, Anthony , who I am pulling for to lose more than just weight. I mean... is that necessary? Ren giggled every time they interviewed him and flashed his name and descriptor up on the screen.

"Anthony - 25-year-old virgin"

Has he done nothing but NOT accomplish this one feat? Clearly the weight-loss will help that battle.

By the end of the first show, they’ve already slimmed down to 10 contestants (in addition to the diva, the team voted off the biggest dude Shane because they all would have had to make up the 13 miles he missed cause because of stress fractures in his feet - and when people leave the prize money each person can walk away with drops $10,000) and left me yearning for Bob the trainer from the Biggest Loser to whip these bitches into shape.

And can we talk about the fact that this show is called "Fat March?" I am shocked no one has a problem with this. How about changing "Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader" to "I'm a Moron."

-posted by Ariel

• Bobby Bonilla: Was in the clubhouse playing cards
• Rickey Henderson: Was in the Clubhouse playing dominoes
• Wade Boggs: Was on a plane threatening to kick a flight attendant's fat lips in.
• Gary U.S. Bonds: Was dancing til quarter til 3.
• Peter Gammons: He's not a nice person. Don't ever forget that.
  

I'M FROM QUEENS, NEW YORK!

(Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)

The inevitable happened again last night. (Damn Plate Tectonics).

While much ado was made of the anticipated absences of Selig and Aaron, not much was made of the following not being present:

• His 1986 cap size
• Greg Anderson
• Sammy & Mark - Barry's inspirations
• Gary Sheffield's Chef
• Bobby (Barry always seemed to revere Willie much more anyway).
• Cole Hamels - "Mike Bacsik, I served with Cole Hamels. I knew Cole Hamels. Cole Hamels was a friend of mine. Mike Bacsik, you're no Cole Hamels."
• Billy "It ain't cheatin' if you don't get caught" Martin
• Kimberly Bell (We'll be seeing plenty of her soon, though)
• A Giants victory
• The Rabid Wolverine
  

Grip all you want about the Clemens contract. Yes it's ridiculous and up until the All-Star break it was considered the biggest boner in free agent history. But if the return of Clemens has brought anything back to this Yankee team, it's a set of nuts.



For example:

Yankees RHP Clemens, Torre ejected
August 7, 2007
TORONTO (TICKER) -- New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens was ejected by home plate umpire Angel Hernandez in the seventh inning of Tuesday's contest against the Toronto Blue Jays for hitting Alex Rios with a pitch.

Clemens yielded just two hits and a walk with six strikeouts over six innings before being removed from the game with a 7-0 lead.

New York Yankees manager Joe Torre also was ejected because a warning had been issued in the third inning when Toronto starter Josh Towers hit Alex Rodriguez, prompting both benches to empty.

Until this season (and since Clemens has been gone) the Yankees staff has been afraid to hit anything or anyone. The only Yankee coming close to being the equalizer was Scott Proctor, but he is about as intimidating as this guy. Jeter has been knocked down about eight hundred times since 2002. The Yanks and Torre continue to let Papi self lube his mitts and dig in like the crew working on the new stadium. Until now.

The balls are back in town.

4-5 with a 4.00 era balls.

But balls none the less.

Spurrier is livid with South Carolina's academic policy and admission process.



If only he had fine upstanding players like back in the old days.


Thanks to Losers with Socks for the Florida Rap sheet....

While everyone else was watching Bonds and A-Rod hit their milestone homeruns this weekend, Tom Glavine went out and won his 300th game.

All-knowing baseball gnome Tim Kurkjian sums it up:

“In beating the Cubs on Sunday night, Glavine became the 23rd pitcher to win 300 games, 135 more wins than Koufax. Glavine has the fifth-most wins among left-handers and the sixth-most wins in the National League since 1900. He made 10 All-Star teams, won two Cy Young awards and has five 20-win seasons, more than Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz, Barry Zito, Carlos Zambrano and Mike Mussina combined.

The common denominator of the greatest pitchers of all time is durability: Glavine has never been on the disabled list. He has made at least 25 starts in 19 consecutive seasons; only Greg Maddux, with 20, has a longer streak in baseball history.

Glavine also has 14 postseason victories; only Smoltz, with 15, has more. Glavine did all this without throwing 95 mph, but few pitchers have commanded a fastball and changeup better than he has.

Every 300-game winner who's eligible for the Hall of Fame is in. So 300 is the benchmark, but who will be next to get there?”

From CBS Sportsline transaction section...

It was No. 755 and out for Clay Hensley. The San Diego Padres right-hander was optioned to Triple-A Portland on Sunday, a day after serving up the home run that allowed Barry Bonds to tie Hank Aaron's all-time record. The demotion had nothing to with Bonds' historic shot. San Diego's bullpen was taxed after two straight extra-inning games, and the Padres needed a fresh arm, which it got by promoting right-hander Mike Thompson from the Beavers.At the very least, Hensley got a nice parting gift -- an autographed bat from Bonds. Hensley asked for, and got, an autographed bat. "It was a nice gesture," Hensley said. "I appreciate that."
(Updated 08/05/2007).

A-Rod. Fastest to 500. Hopefully, he makes this next clip just a footnote in baseball history.



Bud's face sums it up pretty nicely.

-posted by Fat Willard

I was spoiled growing up. Wedged between Philly and New York, on most summer nights I could watch the Yankees, Mets, Phillies, the Braves on TBS, a possible ESPN game and for a short time the Cubs on WGN. And I took it for granted. I now live in shitville and can get an occasional Phillies game. I now have only the ESPN games. So I am at their mercy. That brings us to…

The Mets against the Brewers from Miller Park.


I miss this logo.

Our announcers are some guy I have never heard of (Dave Barnett) and a guy I wish I never heard of (Steve Phillips).

This is my first Brewers game. I know three starters: Prince Fielder, Geoff Jenkins and one of the racing sausages.

ESPN breaks in with an A-rod update. He is 0-1 with a fly out. They will be breaking in to this game for each of his at-bats. It’s really that big of a deal?

Commercial: The postseason is serious business. It’s the entire year coming down to one game, one at bat, maybe even one pitch. It’s no laughing matter. That must be why MLB got Dane Cook to do its commercials for the post season. There is nothing funny about him either.

Top of the 1st: They just cut into the game to show a live A-rod at bat. Fly out to left. I can tell he is pressing. His lips are bluer then usual. The best part of that at bat? I missed most of the top of the first.

I don’t know what I find more amazing. That I didn’t know the manager of the Brewers or that he has been the manager for five seasons.

Bottom of the 1st: Leading off for the Brew Crew: Corey Hart. Didn’t he sing Sunglasses at Night? Yard work for Prince. It has to be really frustrating to not to talk to your father while looking exactly like him right down to his home run trot.

Quick Google search proves me correct. Corey Hart did indeed sing Sunglasses at Night.

I know two more Brewers: Kevin Mench and his massive cranium. I’d be a terrible friend if I didn’t mention my friend Tim who struck out Mench three times in one college game. Mench still reached base twice thanks to two passed balls on strike three. Mench flies out. 3-0 Brewers after an inning.

Top of the 2nd: I missed the top of the inning after finding this gem. Goddamn that is catchy. Couple of hits and Ramon Castro dinger and it’s 4-3 Mets.

Bottom of the 2nd: A cheap shot at the Brewers as ESPN gives their “Great Moments in Brewers” video package. Among the highlights: the move from Seattle, Yount, Molitor, and the 1982 World Championship. Adding insult to injury: a shot of Tony Graffanino on deck.

This is painful. I have absolutely no interest in this game. But I sat down to do this and damn it I am seeing this one through. Shawn Green makes the ugliest attempt at a fly ball I’ve ever seen. The official scorer has it as a single and an error. I had it in my scorebook as a single and an abortion. 5-4 Brewers.

Top of the 3rd: A-rod break in. The world holds it’s breath. Ground ball to the shortstop.

Back to the game…umm…oh man, so much just happened. I’ll be honest, I zoned out reading other blogs like this and downloading songs on Itunes. Yes, I am downloading Sunglasses at Night. Like you haven’t been fucking humming it the past five minutes. 7-5 Mets.

Back to A-rod watch. Yanks up 7-1. A “Let’s go A-rod” chant. Gotta love Yankee fans. Last year if he hit a homerun up 7-1 they would bitch he could only do it when it didn’t matter. Ground out to third. Hitless in last twenty-two at bats. Matching the longest hitless streak of his career.

A highlight of Teixeira hitting his first homerun as a Brave. I’ve always wondered why stats don’t transfer from league to league. Is there a logical reason?

Here’s to Flomax. Keeping old guys pants dry for a majority of the day.

I Googled both the Mets and Brewers mascots to come to a conclusion about which is more ridiculous and came across this.

They keep track of the sausage race results. This is what fans have to look forward to when you put an uncompetitive product on the field year after year. At least this race will be close come September.

Oliver Perez’ has 10 K’s after 5 full innings…and Ho-ly-Sh-it…Dodgers and Giants from Chavez Ravine on ESPN2. Your announcers are Leather and Joe Morgan. I called Leather wanting to be there for 755 last week and the addition of Morgan can only mean another stellar post from Ken Tremendous tomorrow.

It’s already 10pm. I have to be up at 5am tomorrow. I’ll never make it. Damn you West Coast.

I nodded off…. so it's prediction time. Let's see..I say
-No Bonds homerun
-Mets win 10-6
-No A-rod homerun
-Leather makes obscure references to songs no one has listened to in 20 years

Until next week....

-posted by Fat Willard

Brutally honest:



"I'm not going to lie," Johnson said. "God made me close to perfect, but the one thing he missed was my blocking. But I've been working on it."

The Rev. is back with part two of our college football preview. Today we’ll take a look at the running backs to watch out for this coming season:

You’re Spot Is Reserved at the Downtown Athletic Club

Darren McFadden, Arkansas

Too bad for those who don’t watch SEC football, because McFadden is simply one of the most dominating rushers college football has seen in quite some time. McFadden can absolutely punish teams between the tackles, and if he happens to get in the secondary, he is gone. In the Rev’s eyes, McFadden is in a class by himself compared to all other backs in D-1 football. All indications point to McFadden producing another stellar year for the Razorbacks – helping to keep coach Houston Nutt gainfully employed for another year.

We’re Really Really Good Too, Just Not As Good As McFadden

Steve Slaton, West Virginia

Slaton is a classic scat-back with a lot of his yards coming from off-tackle runs in West Virginia’s option offense. He’s a patient runner that strings the defense out; once he gets to the corner, he has an unusual burst of speed that allows him to cut upfield. Critics knock Slaton because of his lack of size, his propensity to injury, and the fact that a lot of his carries get disguised by misdirection and other trick-er-ation in general. However, the guy simply chews up yards and scores loads of TDs, and he is the key to WV’s success this coming year.

Mike Hart, Michigan

Hart may be another Lilliputian in pads, but he runs like an absolute wrecking ball for the Wolverines. Michigan’s zone blocking scheme up front provides many opportunities for short cut-back runs at which Hart excels. Hart makes up for his lack of track star speed with the ability to avoid tacklers and pick up tough yards after contact. He is the prototypical back that Michigan loves to wear down opposing defenses with. Hart should enjoy another productive year for the Wolverines.

Ray Rice, Rutgers

The break-out back from last year’s college football season, Rice returns to lead Rutgers in the chase for the Big East crown. Rice is a physical runner that likes to inflict more punishment than he takes. Rice can run inside or out and has just enough speed to outrun defenders if he gets to the second level. He has a great line blocking in front of him, which includes 2006 1st team All American Eric Foster. Rutgers did lose bruising fullback Brian Leonard to graduation, so that may negatively impact Rice’s ability to be as productive out of the I-formation this year.

Ian Johnson, Boise State

Everybody remembers Johnson for scoring the winning touchdown against Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl on the Statue of Liberty play and then proposing to his girlfriend on national TV … but lost in the mix is the fact that he ran for 24 TDs and close to 1,800 yards last year. Regardless that a lot of those yards came against B-list opponents in the regular season, rushing for that many yards over a 12-game season is quite an accomplishment. Johnson will be expected to carry much more of the load for the Broncos with the departure of QB Jared Zabransky.

Watch These Guys Run

Felix Jones, Arkansas

Jones serves as McFadden’s foil in the balanced Arkansas running attack. A first-team back for any other college team in America – he’s that good.

Branden Ore, Virginia Tech

Doesn’t do any one thing great but does a lot of things pretty well. Shifty back will move the chains for the Hokies and take pressure off QB Sean Glennon.

P.J. Hill, Wisconsin

Workhorse for the Badgers. He carried 35 times for 249 yards last year against Northwestern, 31 times for 148 yards against Penn State.

Jamaal Charles, Texas

The Longhorns success in the Big XII depends on running the football well, and Charles has the speed and power to move the chains. Dark horse lurking on some preseason awards lists.

Chris “Beanie” Wells, Ohio State
Wells played well in spot duty for the national runners-up last year. The Bucks always pound the ball, so Wells will get plenty of opportunities to shine as a full-time starter this season.

Others To Watch

Tashard Choice, Georgia Tech
Jonathan Stewart, Oregon
Joe McKnight, USC
James Davis, Clemson

-posted by the Rev. Shaw Moore