Chicago Trib: U.S. Team Dumps Solo

Admittedly, I am not a big fan of soccer. I have also not followed the World Cup very closely, despite it being on every morning on just about every ESPN channel the last month.

I found it interesting that as I am reading SI this week and seeing the "what to watch" blurb about Hope Solo leading the US Team, that she is benched, despite her great play, for the sake of the veteran Briana Scurry.

Hope Solo (no relation to Hans)
(Photo: soccernet.espn.go.com)

Having dabbled in organized team athletics through college, I know there is something to be said about sportsmanship and team chemistry. I can see how Hope's teammates found her public reaction unforgivable.

There is also something to be said about inexplicable, unfounded favoritism and poor coaching decisions. Again, I am no expert in US Soccer, but imagine if Coach Ryan were coaching any other sport. What if in the strecth run an MLB manager skipped a hot young pitchers start for a more veteran guy who pitched well in the clutch three seasons ago, based on nothing but experience and past history? It would be unheard of.

Citizens Bank Park will soon be called, "The House that Cole Built", literally, since Cole built the entire stadium by himself, on only 3 days rest.

(Click logo)

The Office's Creed offers his thoughts on playoff baseball.

Click banner to go to NBC site.

"I hear the Cubs still haven’t won the World Series. Let that be a lesson to everyone: That’s what you get for making love to a goat in center field."

To put it lightly, I’m still in a bit of shock over the precipitous fall from grace that has befallen the Louisville Cardinals football program.

I don’t know how many times in college football history a program goes from 12-1, winning the Orange Bowl, and a top-10 national ranking … to suddenly dropping 2 of your first 4 games (one as a 37 point favorite at home), giving up close to 40 points a game and racking up more personal fouls than were committed all last year.

At the beginning of this season, people were confident that this team would again compete for the Big East title. Funny how things can change so quickly! Right now, a 5-7 record looks very generous for this bunch.

Suffice it to say, the atmosphere around the program is downright toxic right now. It looked like Veterans Stadium’s heyday on Saturday, with insults and objects being hurled onto the field and fans fighting each other to the death in the parking lot. To think that the entire city would be burned down by an angry mob is not an overstatement after watching that display this past weekend.

On top of everything else that is happening on the field, reports came out late yesterday that star-crossed linebacker Willie Williams has been dismissed for the team for trying to scarf down a bag of marijuana after being pulled over by Louisville’s finest earlier this week.

Photo from The Courier Journal

You might remember Willie Williams during his recruitment out of high school. After a recruiting visit to Florida in which he set off fire extinguishers in his hotel and allegedly and inappropriately groped a girl at a bar, it was revealed that he had already tallied 11 or 12 arrests on charges ranging from burglary to assault. I guess this would be lucky number 13, right?

Predictably, all this negativity coming out of the Louisville football program is destroying my ability to competently play Pick-Em. I went a disastrous 4-6 last week. That is inexcusable, and the Rev’s wife is threatening to take over the picks if I can’t get my act together.

I just keep reminding myself - basketball season is just a few weeks away.

Photo from uoflsports.cstv.com

Here are this week’s picks:

10 points: Mississippi State (3-1) at SOUTH CAROLINA (3-1)

9 points: USC (3-0) at Washington (2-2)

8 points: Pittsburgh (2-2) at VIRGINIA (3-0)

7 points: ALABAMA (3-1) at Florida State (2-1) * neutral site

6 points: California (4-0) at OREGON (4-0)

5 points: Kansas State (2-1) at TEXAS (4-0)

4 points: CLEMSON (4-0) at Georgia Tech (2-2)

3 points: Michigan State (4-0) at WISCONSIN (4-0)

2 points: Air Force (3-1) at NAVY (2-2)

1 point: PENN STATE (3-1) at Illinois (3-1)

Season Record: 24-16

-Posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

How about signing this pump?

Probe: High school coach improperly recruited Samoan players

meet the Mets....

Crackberry addicts and texters, brace yourselves. We were lucky to be forwarded the following site, and have wondered where it's been all our lives.

areyouwatchingthis.com

According to the site, that little robot fella over there will email or text you "games going into overtime, ranked teams getting upset, no-hitters through 7, or anything else you need to get your butt on the couch for." (Essentially classics in the making). It even customizes your alerts to your location and cable/satellite provider.

Great concept. Hopefully the product is as good as the idea. We'll give it a go.

In a somewhat disturbing news story, the AP reported early yesterday evening:

Thief Manages to Lift about 350 Bras

A thief with a hankering for sexy undergarments slipped off with hundreds of bras from a Victoria's Secret store in broad daylight.

Police in Flagstaff say they're taking a close look at how the thief managed to take off with about 350 bras while the store was open. The anti-theft tags hooked on the bras did not trigger a store alarm.

The theft from the store at the Flagstaff Mall on Sunday was not captured by surveillance cameras, police said. They suspect the items may be resold, and are monitoring Internet auction sites.

The bras are worth an estimated $15,000.

Leaked from the Flagstaff police department was this sketch of the alleged sticky-fingered suspect:

While everyone has been caught up in the McNabb "controversy," ESPN feeds us the Mike Vick "divide" and now Jason Seahorn mentions that we may NEVER see another white cornerback in the NFL, is anyone else a little surprised at commercials for Disney's latest feature?

From IMDB's Plot Outline for The Game Plan: "An NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle discovers that he has a 7-year-old daughter from a previous relationship."

Read: Minority athlete finds out he has illegitimate child. Disney, Hollywood's Dark Prince.

My thumb hurts, but I masterfully flipped between Biggest Loser (week 3) and Dancing with the Stars (the men) last night. Ren was proud. (Not that he noticed, he was busy giving himself a heart attack during the Phillies game).

Here is the breakdown:

Dancing With the Stars

Best performance of the night: Helio Castroneves danced an elegant fox trot and looks the part of a ballroom dancer. If he continues in the same manner, he should do well. I am interested to see how he'll be able to shake that thing in faster dances like the cha cha cha or mambo.

Worst performance of the night: Wayne Newton looked a bit awkward, like your dad trying to dance to rap music after a few cocktails and cousin Tony's wedding. He is a goofy looking man to begin with, and just sort of looked uncomfortable. He didn't do horribly, just out of sorts.

While Ariel didn't appreciate Mr. Las Vegas' performance, it looks like he has a fan in fellow competitor.

Notable Mentions: Albert Reed (Abercrombie model) did alright. He moved well and had a fun personality, but his lack of celebrity status makes him less likely to hang around very long.

Mark Cuban - I just cannot stand this man... he danced so-so, but he is just goofy and likes to be over the top. I do give him props though because he did well give the fact that he is very removed from being an entertainer, though some find his court-side antics amusing. I have to dock points for schilling for votes on his blog prior to the show even starting. Poor form.

Cameron Mathison did very well. He was equivalent to Jennie Garth's performance the night before... they came out strong, did well, and have the potential to be really good dancers.

Floyd Mayweather was kind of funny. He is so small looking for a boxer, and just had a lot of fun with it. It was fun to see him to the cha cha cha, but I am not sure how he'll translate his rhythm to a more elegant dance like the waltz or fox trot.

Tonight they are giving Kenny Mayne a chance to redeem himself though watching him try to dance a few seasons ago was probably one of the funniest, most awkward things I've ever witnessed. But that is besides the point - tonight we'll find out who will be the first celebrity voted off!

Biggest Loser

Week three, and the competition is fierce. While the Blue and Black teams still have all their players, the Red team has faced two eliminations and now is down to just 4 competitors. Everyone faced a temptation.... all contestants were given the option to eat as much bad food in 4:00 minutes as they could. IF they decided to eat something and IF they ate the most calories, they were awarded 3 extra pounds to add to their total weight loss for the week. As the team debated, the Blue team decided that if anyone could afford the pounds those calories would add it'd be Neil. When Neil came out there was confusion about whether or not he ate anything, and Patty decided she needed to eat something for the sake of the team. In the end she ate the most and was awarded the 3 pounds. Long story short, Neil was pissed cause if he knew she was going to eat that crap, he wouldn't have.

The challenge this week was basically that a member of each team had to race against a kid. There were three races. The team who had the most winners would all get to call home. In the first race, the 4th grader kicked some ass. She beat all the contestants easily. The second race was won by the red team, third race was won by a 5 year old. Being as the red team had the ONLY winner, they won the entire challenge. It's interesting because to date, the red team has won each challenge but lost the first two weigh-ins.

The weigh in is crucial for the red team. If they face elimination again, they'll be down to just 3 players, with each of the other teams at 6. The first two weeks saw very large numbers as far as weight loss which can be contributed mostly to the fact that they are burning off water weight which goes first. As they get into weeks 3, 4, 5, there is usually a plateau in weight loss and the numbers become smaller. They bodies are adusting to the change in diet and level of energy, as well as the fact that they are starting to build muscle.

Anyways.... the blue team loses the weigh in, even though Patty (the one who ate all the bad food to win the extra pounds) lost the most weight on the team, 5 lbs, and was able to add the bonus 3 for a total weight loss of 8 pounds. Previous week big losers Neil and Jerry (old guy) only dropped a few pounds.

Now this is a competition, and for now they are still in teams, so when you vote someone off, you should pick off the lightest people because they have the least amount of weight to lose. In this instance, the team voted off Jerry, who they all said was capable of leaving the ranch and losing the weight on his own. To throw another wrench in the whole thing, in three weeks Jerry lost like 40-something pounds, and was the team captain.

Apparently next week they close down the Biggest Loser campus (until now, they've been on what seems like a college campus instead of the ranch) though I am not quite sure what that means. And honestly, it doesn't matter cause I'll keep watching anyway. And Fat Willard will keep watching because he likes Allison Sweeney much better than Caroline Rhea.

-posted by Ariel

(Series 1, Episode 2, Take 1)

The promised series on how to improve horse racing interest has admittedly been placed on the back burner like the sport itself. Since the Breeder's Cup is only a month away, I will jockey-whip myself into form and make a nose-to-the-grindstone effort.

Way back when I discussed the importance of horse vs. horse rivalries. In that the media cannot sell the season and the new crop of horses short simply for the Preakness. The rivalery needs to be groomed in the pre-Triple Crown season and throughout the year and career of the
horses.

The next rivalery that needs to be discussed is jockey vs. jockey. Come on fellas, spice things up a bit!

America is facinated by jockeys. The odds are stacked against the little guys and they go into a grueling sport that has caused numerous deaths and broken faces to win millions of dollars and marry hot women.

In NASCAR, the drivers hate each other. There have been rivalries throughout the history of the sport such as Earnhart Sr. vs. Gordon (Rusty will have to expound on the current ones).

These rivalries are cultivated from years of racing each other and years of being cut off or thrown into the wall. How does this not translate into horse racing? More importantly, I'm sure the jockeys hate each other, how do we not know about the vengeance brewing deep inside their tiny bowels?

The stakes are the same, fame, the desire to win, the money and now endorsements. They get pushed into the rail, get cut off down the stretch and get hit with errant whips. Plus, they have to share quarters every race, so who knows how many times they get the ol' towel whip that comes a little too close that you can no longer friends.

The first thing that needs to be done is some investigative reporting. Simple question: who hates who. Then, report on it and expand it. Let it fester among the jockeys so that it becomes utter distain for one another.

Next, separate locker rooms. Don't let them sit in the locker rooms together and become chummy. Locker rooms build team unity. If they want to do their rowdy jockey drinking after the meet, that if fine. But let's not allow them to sit and talk about their hot wives and
invite each other to tea on Tuesday.

Also, to take a chapter out of the WWF (it will always be the WWF to me, Vince), the sport needs some heels. Come on Desormeaux, call out Gomez. You have nothing to lose, expect the possible friendship of a jockey that thinks you ride like your humping a camel. The sport needs a jockey villain or a cocky son of a bitch. Or, maybe someone that paints their face like the hot dog eating guy.

The NTRA's version of the Warriors, Orphans, High Hats, Electric Eliminators and Baseball Furies.
photo from www.jockeysguild.com

Once these steps are taken and rivalries develop, the press will have another option to captivate the audience. Who knows, maybe someone will get hurt too, that's always fun.


-posted by C.R. Dunbar

Did Chris "Wheels" Wheeler just tell me to nominate someone as "sexiest fan?"

Yep. He did. Here's the link: peoplesexiestfan.com.

Seriously. Is this necessary? Coming from Wheels it was weird and creepy. A few boxes over, Harry the K cringes.

Well, it could be worse. Afterall, I think we all know who People's sexiest announcer would be.

Look at those moves.

Despite the years of teasing, I was, and remain, one of the biggest Freddie Mitchell fans on the planet.

I have a poster-sized 4th & 26 picture hanging on the wall in my office.

I defended his lack of catches by pointing out on numerous big plays, his down field blocking.

I laughed at the Super Bowl hub-bub and pointed to the games leading up to and during the playoffs that magical year as evidence of what "could be" with my favorite receiver.

I would have had a #84 jersey, had Ariel not said "If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a jersey, you are getting a pro bowl safety, not a 3rd down receiver."

Ah well. Women.

There have been reports of him the last few years of him trying out at different NFL camps, of hopes of landing in the CFL, perhaps landing at the Philadelphia Soul, and even substitute teaching (which I refuse to believe. I am sure he was merely lecturing kids on what it means to be great).

That all said. I wonder. Where is Freddie?

Here at HHR, we would love to Find Freddie. More than that, we want to give the man who thanked his hands for being so great his own forum and invite him to contribute to our page as whatever the hell he wants - an exclusive NFL analyst, a columnist, whatever.

Freddie, if you are out there, drop us a line. We would love to hear from you.

If anyone knows his whereabouts, let us know.

Over the past few months, we've commented on several incidents of performance-enhancing drug stories in the news, from fallen rasslers, to Barry Lamar, to Rick Ankiel. It was widely reported yesterday that the Drug Enforcement Administration has made one of the largest steroid busts in U.S. history.

We are reluctant to pass judgment on athletes and individuals whose lifestyles we can't imagine living. Now, you have former players and athletes speaking out on the occupational difficulties and the aftermath and consequences of abusing substances to be able to compete, perform and earn a living.

About a week and a half ago, ESPN ran a piece on legendary grappler, Lex Luger. As a bunch of rasslin fans, we were disheartened by his tale of tragedy and his fall from grace.

If the recent scandals and deaths don't open the public, and more importantly, athletes' eyes, maybe this video of the effects of abuse will:



And that's One To Grow On.

Thanks to our friends at 100% Injury Rate for the pic.

From the Verducci report:

"The Joba Rules have expired. The Yankees will use reliever Joba Chamberlain in back-to-back games this week as a dry run for how he'll be used in October. The Yankees will now limit his work based on pitch counts, not innings or appearances. And with all the off days in the new postseason schedule, Chamberlain should be available almost anytime Torre needs him."

I understand Joba is a special kid. I get that he could be the Yankees future #3 (or #2 depending on Phil Hughes) and I am witness to Torre and his (mis)use of the bullpen. But does this even need to be discussed? The Yankees are fighting for possibly the division and the playoffs are a week away. Here is Joba's status...

ALWAYS AVAILABLE.

Unless he pitches an incredible amount of innings for consecutive days, his status is...

ONE FOOT OUT THE BULLPEN DOOR

Depending on how many bench players make the playoff roster, Torre will have to choose for his bullpen (not counting starters) from this bunch: Bruney, Farnsworth, Ramirez, Villone, Viscaino, Henn, Kennedy, Karstens and Rivera. This leaves Chamberlain...

SLEEPING ON THE F'N MOUND (JUST IN CASE)

There is a month left to the baseball year, depending how far the Yankees go. Joba has five months to rest and rehab. He is also 22 years old. When I was 22, I could throw six games of wiffle ball, do thirteen keg stands, work out for eleven hours and get a total of two hours sleep in a week...pop a couple Advil and I was right as rain in the morning.

He will survive. Without him, the Yankees won't.

-posted by Fat Willard

What does Dancing with the Stars have to do with a sports blog?

Well, considering:

Evander Holyfield, Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice, Clyde Drexler, Laila Ali, and Mario Lopez (3 sport star AC Slater) have all been contestants

Emmitt Smith and Apolo Anton Ohno have won the past two seasons

this year's dancers include Floyd Mayweather, Mark Cuban and Helio Castra..Casa..Casapoppadopoulus (?)

I say PLENTY!

Ok, first up last night was the ladies.

Best performance of the night: The Cheetah Girl, Sabrina Bryan. She is young, vivacious, and energetic, and she can dance! However, I think that she will not have the audience recognition to hang around to win it. I also fear that she came out of the box too strong. Alot of this competition has to do with the fact that these people are not ballroom dancers, but improve week-to-week and become great. She might be like that hot girl in high school - looks great at 17 or 18, but it's a sharp decline into adulthood. Note to Sabrina - lose the "Cheetahriffic" comments. That in itself will lose you votes.

Worst performance of the night: Hands down, Josie Maran. She was boring to watch and looked uncomfortable moving around the dance floor. Two left feet doesn't begin to describe it. But I guess that is why she was a model... no need to move around.

Notable Mentions:

Jennie Garth - She was first up, and did a great job (I voted for her 6 times in hopes she makes it til next week). I think she'll improve in weeks to come. Ren said she looked old, and for some reason I felt the need to defend her. I got your back Jennie, no worries.

Scary Spice - she could be a contender. She did well, and moved well.

Jane Seymour - she looked gorgeous and graceful. It'll be interesting to see her do something more uptempo.

Marie Osmond - might go two or three weeks. I can't really see her having the "wow" factor to win it. And she says "heck" far too frequently for my liking.

They previewed the men, who will dance tonight. Ren and I couldn't help but giggle each time they panned to Wayne Newton. He has a gaze that is stuck between confused and disoriented, and his right eye appears to have a mind of its own. I think it might have been watching another show. All the males seem to think that Floyd Mayweather is the one to beat. I guess we shall see tonight.

But that brings up another point... I have promised columns on Dancing and Biggest Loser but tonight they are on at the same time! I will try to work it out somehow... I promise!

-posted by Ariel

Louisville was a 37 point favorite against Syracuse this weekend. It’s fair to say that I’ve been pressing this repeatedly since Saturday.

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Offerman pleads not guilty to charges stemming from mound attack

In his AM Quicky this AM, Dan Shanoff notes: What McNabb controversy? In a classic "STFU" performance and Sunday's top NFL story, McNabb led the Eagles to more than a half-century's worth of points, including 4 TDs, 381 yards and 0 INTs. Given the circumstances, it just might have been the best performance of McNabb's career.

---

I disagree. This fuels the controversy. I think this gives fans even more reason to be frustrated. It is wonderful that you can light up the Lion secondary for such gaudy numbers, and most importantly lead the team to the do-or-die win. However, where is the consistency? Everyone is aware that McNabb has the ability to be a top-tier NFL QB, but where is that performance against the better squads? The booing isn't because the fans dislike McNabb, it's because they know he is capable of playing like he did this past Sunday.

Let's hope this is a sign of things to come, and that things don't revert back to start looking like the opening 2 weeks. (And this includes having Marty call the plays.)

This is the McNabb Philly phans know exists, and when he disappears, weeks like this only prove the fans have the right to expect more.

You are booed because you tease them with your greatness. They believe in you and your ability. Ask Yankees fans.

Photo: DAVID MAIALETTI/Daily News

We here at HHR feel that team jerseys (in the right situation) are perfectly acceptable. Some fans go a bit too far, buying legendary names and numbers, variations of colors, throwbacks (we are going to see someone sporting the Eagles jersey from yesterday, it's only a matter of time).

We have only one request. Check the spelling.

(Thanks to the guys at Popjocks for having the where-with-all to stop laughing long enough to snap that pic)

In an afternoon of 56 points, 381 yards and 4 TDs from Donovan McNabb and 221 yards and 3 TDs for Kevin Curtis, the 1-2 Eagles finally have a reason to celebrate. Well, not all of them

From Yahoo Fantasy Sports:

Reggie Brown has been dropped by 8144 teams in Yahoo! leagues

Make that 8,145. Mine.

-posted by Fat Willard

I don't remember where I first read it, but since I did, a name that has endured in the McCormack household has been "Pat the Pat." We have come to accept all that he is and all that he isn't. We don't boo him, and truly pull for him more than, or at least as much as, we do any other member of the team.

As we've seen the likes of Rolen, Abreu, Bell, Millwood and every other misplaced, miserable and/or under-achieving player come and go over the last few years, and as we hold onto hope both this year and for years to come, mainly because of guys like Howard, Utley, Rollins and Hamels, through it all, we've had our Pat.

He is our Pat, Phillies Phans, for better or for worse. And his second half has been much easier to love.

And it has been as much our Pat's doing that we are on the cusp of the playoffs as September approaches its end as any other member of the squad.

While his at-bat theme implies, “we kick him when he's up, we kick him when he's down", give him a hand and give him a break.

So forgive us, Pat...and we will try and forgive you for this...



and then we are even.

-posted by Ren McCormack

When you think of women's bowling, certain images come to mind....not to play to any stereotypes but....

Yeah, that works.

But then I caught this commercial about 100 times on ESPN the past few days.



And I think the same thing every time. Who are the saucy numbers in the bikini and purple top. I never ran into them when I was 14 hanging at Rock and Bowl on Saturday nights. (It's Jersey, show me something else to do.)

After some serious digging I found Diandra Asbaty. Not too as-baddy.
And a couple of the ladies on the tour aren't doing so bad in the looks department.

Asbaty seems to be the only one to embrace that she doesn't look like someone on the men's tour. I am kind of feeling Clara Guerrero, but Robin Orlikowski and Shannon O'Keefe aren't far behind. Can I get a vote on this one? Who is the best of bunch (leave a comment.)

I might start watching some broads handle some balls. And then catch some women's bowling.

-posted by Fat Willard

Watching that crushing Kentucky – Louisville game last week made me contemplate giving up on this season entirely. Needless to say, the big bounce I was hoping for last week did not materialize.

But given a few days to think about it, I realized that I have a responsibility to right this ship and pick nothing but winners from here on out. 10 and 0 this week, nothing less: (Winning team in bold)

10 points: Washington State (2-1) at USC (2-0) – Washington State played the Trojans close last year, but it should be a blowout in USC’s favor this time around. Calling it 49-10 for the Trojans.

9 points: Iowa (2-1) at WISCONSIN (3-0) – Iowa is supposed to be good, and they certainly pay coach Kirk Ferentz (north of $2m per season) to be good, but they always seem to end up with 4 to 6 losses. Here’s their second of this early season.

8 points: South Carolina (3-0) at LSU (3-0) – A great match-up between two of the biggest smack talking coaches in the SEC. Coach Miles loves to dog other conferences in the NCAA, and Spurrier, well, he just dogs teams in the SEC. Regardless of who wins, the post game press conferences will be fun.

7 points: Connecticut (3-0) at PITT (2-1) – When Big East fans talk about the strength of their conference, they usually don’t mention these two teams.

6 points: Kentucky (3-0) at ARKANSAS (1-1) – One team won in dramatic fashion last week (UK), while the other lost an equally heartbreaking game (Arkansas). This game will be closer than I thought at the beginning of the year, but I give the Hogs a slight edge because they’re playing at home. That and I can never bring myself to pick UK.

5 points: Georgia (2-1) at ALABAMA (3-0) – I jokingly referred to Nick Saban as the devil himself in last week’s column. After leading the Tide in their win over Arkansas last week, I think it’s entirely fair to say the antichrist lives in Tuscaloosa. Bama by a TD.

4 points: PENN STATE (3-0) at Michigan (1-2) – It’s still Michigan.

3 points: TEXAS TECH (3-0) at Oklahoma State (1-2) – Oklahoma State has given up a ton of yards and points through the air so far this season. So what do they get to face this week? Only a team that throws the ball more than pretty much every other team in Division I. Red Raiders win big on the road.

2 points: MARYLAND (2-1) at Wake Forest (1-2) – At this point, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Wake Forest’s success last year was a once-in-a-millennium aberration. It’s a toss-up between them and Duke to see who is the Northwestern of the ACC.

1 points: North Carolina (1-2) at SOUTH FLORIDA (2-0) – In their last tilt, South Florida knocked off perennial SEC power Auburn on the road. Then Auburn lost their next game to Mississippi State, questioning just how good Auburn was to start the season. Regardless, the Bulls should handle UNC and further strengthen their dark horse run to the top of the Big East.

Season Record: 20-10

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Gym Rage: Spinning out of Control

I worked as a personal trainer and manager of a gym for almost two years. I will honestly tell you gyms are crawling with lunatics. First off, this idea that the majority of the people there want to stay healthy and live a more fullfilling life is a load of sheet. About four people are there for that reason, and probably because they almost died or are about to if they don't stop popping Munchkins like Altoids at the Friday staff meetings.

These are the 5 types of people that go to the gym:


1) I was fat. I lost weight. Now I am skinny. I don't want to go back to being fat so I moved into the gym. I have my own locker. I am here whenever you are. I take every class. I do hours of cardio. I need a sandwich.


2) I used to be skinny. Now I am fat. I had a baby/date a lazy person/have big bones/come from a long line of fat/think latte is french for "good for you"/used to be able to eat anything I wanted when I was young but haven't figured out I can't anymore. You'll usually only see me in the fall on Monday nights (post damage control) and Saturday mornings (preventative damage control). Fuck the summer.


3) I am tan. I am in shape. I date alot of people from the gym. I talk to alot of people. I take a few classes and think those people are my real friends. I have to finish my set because I am going out for drinks tonight. You hate me because I am in better shape then you and are better looking then you. I am the reason you are here and the reason you don't like coming here. I will soon turn into


4) I am a leather bag. I have the resemblance of my old shape except it sags more. I take many classes and hang out with the other people in class because we all "work from home." I am still in better shape then you (for my age). I am the reason you are here. To stay in shape for the next divorce.


5) I am nuts. I grunt. I scream. I wear spandex/do-rags/zubas/no shoes or a one piece. I leave the equipment all over. I am naked in the locker room reading the paper bent over in front of your locker. I ask you to spot me and yell things out. I am in the locker room more then the gym. I come here to be around people.


This story is just a case of #1-4 getting sick of #5. Luckily #5 didn't get a chance to get the upperhand.



-posted by Fat Willard

Scoop this.

At 2:05 PM Eastern, Yahoo! Sports was reporting:

Amaro Jr. the favorite in Astros' GM search

Meanwhile, at 2:15 PM Eastern, Jason Stark at ESPN was reporting:

Ex-Phillies GM Wade is Houston's new GM pick

Honestly, while Wade has been the scapegoat for the Phillies woes of recent years (although, Uncle Choo-Choo and Pat Gillick have taken some of that pressure from him as of late), we wish Ed, our best. There is plenty of blame to go around in the City of Brotherly Love.

Photo: JERRY LODRIGUSS / (Philadelphia) Inquirer staff photographer

This week's SI Players' section piece of interest...

#2 in the SI Players MLB Poll for "Who is the smartest person in baseball?":

Billy Beane (the not homosexual one).



Fredo Pagliarulo reacts:

Click here for Audio.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be downright honest with you. I'm not too keen on June-bug's new paint scheme, or sponsor for that matter.

First, it ain't red. Every one of my other major teams that I really care about N.C. State, the Nationals, and until next year, Dale Jr. are red. It makes it easy cause I can just put on a red shirt and be "rooting" for any one of my teams. Now, I'm going to have a major outlier. For a person as type A retentive as myself, this really complicates things.

Second, one of the primary sponsors is AMP Energy Drinks, which is one of these sugary energy drinks that I just don't like. Mountain Dew's good and all, but I'm not a fan of energy drinks. They taste like cough syrup if you ask me. For the record, I've got nothing against National Guard, in my opinion, they are the only citizens allowed to constitutionally carry guns, but we ain't going there, today.

Third, since the scheme isn't one solid color, how is Jr nation going to be referred to in the stands? Previously, sports writers and commentators could talk about the sea of red that stood applauding as JR rocketed towards the lead. Not anymore! Now, it's going to be the sea of white, blue, and green ?!?! How the heck is that supposed to look daunting?

I ain't saying that my loyalty is anyway going to be affected by the sponsor or color of the car, well long as he's not sponsored by a certain national political Party. Who knows, I may even grow to like it in the coming months and years. But I am a little luke-warm to it right now. All the hype just wasn't worth it for the cars I saw unveiled today.

-posted by Rusty

Unfortunately, Ariel dropped the ball on covering Fat March for us this crappy television season. Hopefully, she keeps her word and gives us her in-depth insight into her other favorite show Biggest Loser.

In the meantime, I've decided to play health specialist.

MSNBC is reporting: 600-Pound Man Found Dead in NE Apartment

WASHINGTON - A 600-pound man was found dead inside his apartment in Washington Wednesday morning. D.C. fire said they will have to use a crane to remove him from his apartment in the 1300 block of Adams Street in Northeast.

The cause of death is unknown.

I am going to go out on a limb and say cause of death was being "a 600-pound man."

Just call me Doogie.

Having moved recently into a new residence, I am still trying to get myself situated. While unpacking, I came across a box of books and realized I omitted a very amusing and easy read in my Ren's Ten Reading List.

The Bad Guys Won A Season of Brawling, Boozing, Bimbo-chasing, and Championship Baseball with Straw, Doc, Mookie, Nails, The Kid, and the Rest of the 1986 Mets, the Rowdiest Team Ever to Put on a New York Uniform--and Maybe the Best

I think that name about says it all. And while I don't like the Mets by any means, I liked the '86 just a wee bit more after reading this one (except for Gary Carter).

I think I finished it in one day. Kudos to you, Jeff Pearlman.

Photo from Newsday

Report: Rodney Harrison Got HGH in '04

So THAT's what Freddie meant when he said he had something for him.



First Belicheat, now this. Give the Birds their Lombardi Trophy.

Damn Dirty Cheaters.

I've taken over Ren's Ten for this week..let's get into it.

I bet when we all sit back and think of our favorite movies or television shows, among the best are those with a sports-related theme. Who didn’t cry at the end of Rudy? Who doesn’t channel Rocky Balboa when gearing up for something big, whether a corporate meeting or your slow-pitch softball championship? We can draw from these places because this is what inspires us. At the soul of every sports fan is a person who just wants to succeed, who just wants to win.

I share these traits. As a female ex-athlete/sports fan, I can relate to these movies and shows. I can also however point out the ones that probably were a bit too stupid to inspire, too cheesy to impress, and too convoluted to make any sort of rational sense. If it’s in the realm of “I really, really, really don’t think that could ever happen,” then it probably ended up on our list.

Here is a list of the 10 WORST sports-themed films and TV sitcoms.

10) Who’s the Boss: Great, great sitcom. Much love to Tony Masselli. But it wasn’t great because of the underlying storyline. I mean, who can honestly believe that an ex-major leaguer would have to become a nanny to a wealthy female ad exec to be able to make ends meet and raise his daughter? Throw in that Tony's career was cut short by an "errant Ozzie Smith backflip" (that's not a joke). I am sure the show still would have been a success (and maybe even more believable) if Tony was simply a weekend warrior that loved adult softball leagues.

9) Hang Time: Reggie Theus coaches a high school basketball team whose best players are a 6’5” German girl and accused rapist Anthony Anderson. Much love for AA, but football would have been more convincing for the portly fella. Theus, however, was so convincing that the Sacramento Kings hired him as a coach.

8) Big Brother Jake: This one just came to us recently. And it’s only “sports-themed” because “Body by Jake” Steinfeld was the star.

Here is an online description:
Love was all around in this sunny sitcom set in a bustling interracial foster home in Brooklyn. At the center of things was Jake, a beefy former Hollywood stuntman who had returned to the home in which he was raised to help his foster "Mom," a sweet black woman named Connie, raise her next generation of foster kids. She certainly needed the help. Her husband, Isaac, had passed away, and there were kid problems everywhere. Her charges were Lou, a chubby teenager; Kateri, a bright studious young black girl; Jill, an older, boy obsessed teen; and Andy and Dave, preteen terrors who looked like twins, but were not in fact related. After two seasons grownup Jill left and was replaced by Caroline, a little abandoned oriental girl. Gary was Jake's amiable pal from high school, now a Manhattan lawyer, and Jane was Jake's old former high school girlfriend. Miss Morgan was the original social worker, replaced in year two by the dreaded and cranky Miss Domedian. The older kids attended Frederick Douglass High School. Jake narrated.

When do we get to the funny part? I think the network was tricked from the start. They thought they had a great new show starting Jerry Seinfeld. They ended up getting Jake Steinfeld. Serenity now....

7) Learning the Ropes: The Original Juicer, Lyle Alzado, as a private school teacher who moonlights as a professional wrestler to keep food on the table. It was pinned after the first season.

I Lied- I am really not certified to teach in this state.

6) Girl Fight: There is no way Michelle Rodriguez would have beat that dude. Ever. I am not even discussing this further.

5) Rookie of the Year: Little Henry Rowengarten breaks his arm, somehow gains the ability to throw a 100 mph fastball, and becomes a starting pitching for the Cubs. Isn’t it usually the other way around for Cubs pitchers? Gary Busey plays the washed up club ace Chet “Rocket” (real original guys) Steadman. Busey plays the washed up part well but he looks as much like an ex-surfer/FBI agent as he does a future Hall of Famer. Throw in Daniel Stern as bench coach Phil Brickma and the real Cubs have a better chance of winning the World Series then this movie has at being believable.


Sometimes a picture needs no words.

4) Little Big League: A grandfather dies and leaves his 12-year-old grandson as the GM of the Twins. He then fires the manager and takes over the team. And then Kirby Puckett follows a woman into the restroom and…wait…nevermind. The only satisfying thing about this movie was the sprinkling of “that guys” Jonathan Silverman, Dennis Farina, John Ashton, and Timothy Busfield, ex-major leaguers like Kevin Elster and Leon “The Bull” Durham and cameos by Junior Griffey, The Big Unit, Rock Raines, and Leather himself.

3) The Cutting Edge: A romantic comedy with a sports theme. I smell bullshit. This is a classic “lets appeal to both genders” movie. A former hockey player becomes a pairs figure skating in order to win a gold medal. They start out filled with hate toward each other but then fall madly in love. I was filled with hate all the way through.

2) The New Karate Kid: A girl? If I were Ralph Macchio, I’d still be pissed. He was only 45 when this one came out and had at least one more unrealistic Daniel Larusso performance in that skinny-fat frame of his.

1) (tie) Any movie involving an athletic animal:

Air Bud - did anyone know there were six of these things? Air Bud, Air Bud: Golden Receiver, Air Bud: World Pup, Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, Air Bud Strikes Back, and Air Buddies
Ed - a chimp playing baseball (also titled the Sal Fasano Story)
MVP Most Valuable Primate and MVP Most Vertical Primate
Snow Dogs

I can’t continue, seriously this is hurting my head. I have to go watch Hoosiers to make the bad images go away.

-posted by Ariel

How appropriate that Tank Johnson could soon land himself a job at Jerry Jones' life rehab facility.

NYT's Fifth Down:

Tank Johnson could find a job by the end of the day. The Dallas Cowboys are considering signing the suspended defensive tackle, according to team owner Jerry Jones.

Everyone seems to be all up in arms after McNabb's comments to Bryant Gumbel (he of winter Olympics fame) on his cable sports news program. And rightfully so. I think Eric G. at Phillyburbs.com hit the nail on the head when he notes that you really only see one side of this love-hate relationship, even though the love part of it far outweighs the hate.

I also agree with the Sir Charles on MNF last night when he noted that McNabb and Fat Andy really don't get the credit they deserve. Hell, the far-under-achieving tandem of Buddy and Randall are more beloved in the city.

The Sportz Assassin at AOL's Fanhouse brings up some points in the argument that really got me thinking. While the SA compares McNabb to his contemporaries, one need only look back to his rookie year - when fans were rabid for him to replace the oft-booed Doug Pederson. And they went nuts for Donovan when he stepped on the field.

The point is, he was booed, Donovan, for the same reason you are. The Birds were losing. He was not playing well.

Doug Pederson is white.

I like Donovan. A lot. I want to see him succeed. I want to see him get the respect, he does truly deserve. There's one way to get it: just win.

And put a little touch on your passes.

Read this nice little re-cap by Gilbert at Obscure Sports Quarterly, only to come across this:



Red Sox Nation, must be none-to-happy about this turn of events. I can see the blogs blowing up any minute with how classless Cook is. I think he needs to be fined heavily and offer this poor lad an apology.

Men more likely to not wash after bathroom use

Atlanta's Turner Field baseball stadium again was the worst. Only 57 percent of guys there washed up, compared to 95 percent of women.

Listen to Koolaid, kids.

On Friday I watched ESPN Classic and a Michigan and ND nail biter from 1999. Couple of quick points:
• Notable future NFL players: Michigan- Tom Brady, Drew Hensen, Anthony Thomas, David Terrell. ND- mmmm Touchdown Jesus is about it. I have to check the '99 roster online to find out if Notre Dame had any future NFL players- aside from a few linemen there was Arnaz Battle and David Givens.
• Brent Musberger and Dan Fouts have the call and they can't say enough about the future potential of Thomas and Hensen. Brady is kind of an after thought in the game. Funny how life turns out.
• How do you come up with a nickname for a guy named Jack Arute? Say it out loud. It’s like a built-in nickname. JACK ARUTE!!!!!
• They keep calling Thomas “A-Train” which got me thinking; has any college player with a nickname made a successful transition to the NFL and become a star?

Watched the UConn and Temple game to get me ready for a weekend of football. Temple might have the worst uniforms ever. I might fall into some odd territory here but clothes do make a person feel 100% better about themselves. And a winning attitude is sometimes the difference between success and failure. If I had to walk onto a field every week in these things, I'd give up by the coin toss.



Could the athletic department throw down a little scratch on a decent helmet decal? It looks like equipment manager stole the word Temple from a local synagogue bulletin board and stuck them on the helmets.

I watched a pee-wee football game on Saturday afternoon. It’s great for a ton of laughs. High snaps, quarterbacks sacks because their offensive line is tying their shoes or chasing bees, the coach looks frustrated on the sideline but has a slight smirk because he gets paid no matter how terrible his team plays. The kids are trying so hard but can’t make any positive yardage. Oh wait…it was a Notre Dame game.

I went to a local bar to watch USC vs. Nebraska. I am usually not the “go out and watch a game” guy. I like being home; having the remote, free food, and a clean bathroom. But I’ve been stuck in the house for two days with a head cold and its finally subsided.

Twelve minutes into the second quarter and I remember why I am not a “go out guy.” It was karaoke night. Which is fine. But they shut down the one big screen to show videos and words to the songs. The game was benched to the smaller screens stationed nowhere near where I was sitting. So I found my attention drawn to the screen with videos. I’ve never seen the Hot, Hot, Hot video. So sue me.

I am just as much a fantasy expert as the guy that ESPN pays.

The keys to being a successful NFL player (according to every announcer to ever call a game)
1) Be the first person at the stadium
2) Be the last person to leave
3) Always be in the weight room

So, have a good alarm clock, nothing to do after practice and hang around the gym. Screw talent

Things that sound dirty but aren’t: (both compliments of John Madden.)
“I haven’t gone to my tight end in awhile. Let me give him a bone.”
“Tom Brady likes his tight end down in this spot.”

I can feel that Red Sox Nation hates JD Drew. It’s palpable. If they weren’t five and half up with less than a month to play he would be hanging from Pesky Pole right about now.

Those Miller Lite “Commish” commercials will be very unfunny.

According to Ed Hoculi, it’s not holding, it’s “overpowering.”

Anytime a player is down on the field for longer then a minute, I think the worst.

(Somewhere inside the NBC production truck last night.) “Camera 4 get me a shot of some on-field camera equipment. Queue up the song Secret Agent Man. Camera 2 give me a shot of Belicheck. Go to commercial.” Who says NBC doesn’t know comedy??

Peter King’s teeth are 83% margarine.

-posted by Fat Willard

The US National Team shows that soccer players have the stuff to party like Will Demps. Unfortunately, their Pop Culture Grid rep, Pablo Mastroeni, comes off more as a Dictorino than a smooth walking, jive talking Will Demps.

The answers that set Ariel off this week:

Now that summer is over, I can..."Ditch my banana hammock "
Favorite celeb scandal of summer: "Britney's panties"
Favorite brew: "New Belgium's Skinny Dip"
Favorite book as a child: "My dad's magazine stash"

I picked up a copy of The Vet: The Complete History of Phillies Baseball at Veterans Stadium DVD for 10 bucks while watching the Phils beat the Marlins last weekend.

I popped it in over this past weekend, and began reliving childhood memories.

Nowadays, as we are plagued with what seems to be sports scandal after sports scandal, in the midst of it, surprisingly, you haven't heard much on the topic's perennially whipping boy: Challie Hustle.

As I am watching the DVD and they are going on about how he was the missing piece in those championship runs, they showed footage of him sliding into third.

The man could punch the ball around the field and get on base. Once on base, however, the all-time hits leader is the all time worst slider. Ever. No comparison.

It's probably good he felt the need to put his shoulder down and barrel into catchers, because he sure as hell couldn't avoid a tag.

I mean look at this:



And that picture is a MILD example. Usually he is three feet higher off the ground. And to make matters worse, he slides DIRECTLY AT THE BAG. Airborne, straight at the bag. Why the hell bother sliding? And then, not to mention, doesn't that hurt? You are belly-flopping on dirt. For no reason other than to make it look like you're really, really hustling.

Bad sliding. Check.
Bad reputation. Check.
Bad hair. Check.

Not to mention the worst batting stance this side of the Agilar Bros.



At least he smells like a man.

I don't know who these ball players think they are, but them taking liberties with their Herbie Hancocks at kids' expenses is getting out of hand. Now Chico Escuela gets in on the action.

Shelley Duncan puts Red Sox Nation in their place.

When you get away with murder, an armed robbery charge is small potatoes

OJ whistling "If I only had a brain" in Vegas

My Name is Dobbs

Sweating out the Phillies game in between NFL telecasts, Ariel says to me: "Don't worry, your boy Dobbsy's up."

BANG!

Salami.

Karma is a good thing. Bless you, Ariel, pulling your best Patty Arquette/Alabama Woorley.

No, not this dingle berry, but just as oblivious.

When fantasy "experts" talk I tend to zone out. Especially anyone getting paid for their expertise. How do you convince anyone you are a fantasy expert when there are at least twelve in every league?

Matthew Berry, the Talented Mr. Don't-Know, was all over ESPN and Sportscenter on Friday saying things like "don't start any Cleveland Browns" or "avoid them at all costs" and "the Browns should be avoided like the girl at the bar with the heavy concealer over the bumps on her lips" (Ok, he didn't say that. That's some friendly advice from the staff of HHR). He even added in his weekly column Love/Hate for Week 2:

Players I Hate this week
Pick a Brown, Any Brown: Kellen Winslow, Jamal Lewis and Braylon Edwards all need to be on your bench.

Kellen Winslow: 6 rec.100 yds 1 TD
Jamal Lewis: 20 rushes 216 yds 1 TD
Braylon Edwards: 7 rec. 146 yds 2 TDs
and for the hell of it, I'll "pick another Brown"

Derrick Anderson: 18/29 328 yds 5 TDs. Good enough for a 51- 45 win over the Bengals.

Berry is that girl at the bar. Avoid him.

-posted by Fat Willard

Suspended coach Wilson seeks explanation for Belichick's punishment

After watching my Cardinals play over the past two weeks, I can say that I’ve officially turned my attention to football. Good riddance baseball, see you again in 2008.

I mean, just a few days ago, the Cards were just a game out of first place in the Central. Their competition? The Brewers, who have absolutely sh*t the bed since May, and the Cubs, who have absolutely sh*t the bed since 1908.

Destiny again appeared to be on the Cards side. We’d be watching meaningful postseason baseball again this fall!

Then the Ankiel story broke. Reporters hounded the team. MLB said they wanted to “talk” to Rick. On a scale of 1 to 10, that kind of negative attention and distraction registered about 22 in the St. Louis clubhouse.

Coincidentally or not, the Cards have lost 7 straight, including a 3 game sweep by the Reds. Now 5 full games back, the Cards are pretty much done. Thank you very much, see you next year.

The return of Ankiel was one of the best storylines of the season, especially when it looked liked he would be the one to lead the Cards into the postseason. Then the storyline turned real ugly, and even diehard Card fans like myself didn’t know what to make of the guy.

But I don’t know if you can completely blame the Ankiel story for the Cards’ collapse. I mean, this was a team that played way over its head for the past month and a half, in spite of injuries, distractions, tragedies, and just sheer bad luck that would spell certain doom for other teams.

My buddy Greg lives in St. Louis and follows the Cards closely. He had some interesting thoughts on the developments of the past couple of days:

“On a more personal level, the destruction of this Cards team has finally occurred. People will point to the Ankiel story as the source, but it’s really the loss of Duncan and Rolen out of the line up. Tip of the cap to management and the players for making it this far with a depleted and old lineup, missing the ace (Carpenter), and all the off field drama (Josh Hancock’s death, LaRussa possibly leaving, Spezio to rehab, etc. etc.). That being said, I’ve that feeling you get when you’re breaking up with a girl when it comes to this team… You know you’re going to feel better once it’s over but you keep wanting to give them one more chance, so you just feel sick to your stomach.”

2008 is sure to bring a lot of changes to St. Louis, but one thing is for certain: Albert Pujols will be playing 1st base and batting third. Aside from that, I expect a lot of familiar faces will be gone (Eckstein? Rolen? Edmonds? La Russa?)

And maybe it’s time. The core of this team has had a fantastic run over the past four or five years. They were in the playoffs nearly every year, went to two World Series, and won one. It’s tough to ask for too much more, but having watched this team, you always left expecting more. That’s the price of success, I suppose.

Maybe it’s just a tad premature to offer the eulogy, but as a fan, I’m ready to turn the page – both on this season and on the team as a whole. Change has to happen for any ballclub, and it’s entirely correct to say that the Cards have done what they could to resist it. It sure has been fun though.

-Posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

HHR took a beating on last week's picks, going a meager 5 and 5. Auburn – thanks for the 6 turnovers at home. Georgia – thanks for bringing Steve Spurrier back to relevancy. And Michigan – you're dead to me.

So for this week's slate, HHR is looking for a big bounce back. Here we go: (Winning team in caps)

10 points: LOUISVILLE (2-0) at Kentucky (2-0) – Armed with an explosive offense, UK enters this rivalry game at home with sky-high expectations of knocking off the 9th ranked Cardinals. However, U of L has an explosive offense of their own – through two games, the Cards lead all Division I teams in virtually every major offensive statistic category. This could boil down to an offensive shootout with the winner being determined by which team scores last. The Cards have a decided edge with QB Brian Brohm under center, however, and he looks primed to finish his Cardinal career 4-0 against the rival Wildcats.

9 points: BYU (1-1) at Tulsa (2-0) – BYU has looked very strong to start the year, dismantling Arizona in Week 1 and nearly upsetting UCLA on the road last week. The Cougars will roll big in this one against an overmatched opponent.

8 points: Pittsburgh (2-0) at MICHIGAN STATE (2-0) – Pitt and Dave Wannstedt's moustache invade East Lansing this week, but they will be up for a big test against Michigan State. Sparty is off and running under new coach Mark D'Antonio, and it's not a stretch to say that State is the best team in the state of Michigan this year.

7 points: Boston College (2-0) at GEORGIA TECH (2-0) – This is probably not the marquee matchup the ACC had in mind when they raided the Big East for teams a couple years back. Along with Clemson, BC and Tech may be the best of the bunch in the ACC, so the winner of this game will have an early leg up on claiming the
conference championship.

6 points: USC (2-0) at Nebraska (2-0) – Don't see Nebraska pulling the upset. Especially with Bill Callahan calling the plays. I hear he's though of fondly in Oakland.

5 points: Tennessee (1-1) at FLORIDA (2-0) – How many more of these can Phil Fulmer lose before he's run out of town? I say two.

4 points: FLORIDA STATE (1-1) at Colorado (1-1) – FSU would probably stand an even better chance if they let Grandpa Bowden continue to sleep on his sofa and left for Colorado without him.

3 points: Arkansas (2-0) at ALABAMA (2-0) – Conventional wisdom says that the Razorbacks should walk out of Tuscaloosa winners. But Nick Saban is Lucifer himself, so I have to think that will give Alabama a slight edge at home. Tide rolls, Hell celebrates.

2 points: Notre Dame (0-2) at MICHIGAN (0-2) – Ties can't happen in college football, so someone has to win this game. Definitely take the under. Wolverines 6, ND 5. What a mess.

1 point: Ohio State (2-0) at WASHINGTON (2-0) – My gut tells me the Bucks are going to leave Seattle with a loss in this one. The Huskies have been playing exceptionally well through two games, knocking off woeful Syracuse (who should immediately fire Greg Robinson) on the road and ranked Boise State at home.

Season Record: 14 - 6

In recent weeks with the WWE mess, the Ankiel MLB HGH fiasco and the Belicheat shenanigans, it's good to find a coach/authority figure who refuses to put up with his players skirting the integrity of our games.

It wasn't me, it was Pedro Guerrero.

Police Say O.J. Simpson Questioned In Robbery

AP Photo

Ed Hoculi suspended 5 games for HGH use.

I made note a little while back in the "NFL Un-boo-ables" piece that the svelte likes of Todd Stinkston and James Trash had little chance of getting off the line of a Panthers playoff team on which even the punter was roiding. Cheaters.

Now, in light of the Pats spying controversy, everyone basically acknowledges that this is not an isolated incident and that Billy Belicheat has been engaging in these shenanigans for some time now.

Merrill Reese brought up a good point on WYSP this morning - punishing a wealthy team like New England by taking away a 2nd or 3rd Rd. draft choice hardly punishes them, as they will simply go out, as they have, and find some nice, high-priced free agents to more than make up for it.

So, Mr. Commissioner, I think it's only fair to make like the NCAA and start stripping them of their Championships.

Let the parade down Broad and Pattison begin! Congratulations Donovan and Fat Andy. Consider the monkey lifted off your backs. Philadelphia can rejoice. The Curse of Billy Penn has effectively been lifted!

Rusty’s take on the Chase for the Nextel Cup

1. Jimmie Johnson (5,060 pts.)
2007 victories: Las Vegas (March), Atlanta (March), Martinsville (April), Richmond (May), California (September), Richmond (September)
Best finish: 1st (2006)

If it weren’t for Kurt, Jimmie would be the hottest guy in the sport right now. He's chalked up consecutive victories going into the chase. This was strategic, and a great championship move. Knowing they had locked up spots in the Chase, the #48 team went for wins, in order to get the win bonus and begin the chase in the #1 spot. Kudos to that, but I think his car owner and Hendrick teammate is got a little more fire this year. Look for Jimmie to be in it till the end, but I think the #24 is the team to win it all.

2. Jeff Gordon (5,040 pts.)
2007 victories: Phoenix (April), Talladega (April), Darlington (May), Pocono (June)
Best Finish: 1st (1995, 1997, 1998, 2001)

Despite Jimmie's recent hot streak, the Rainbow Warrior has been the man to beat all season. Hendrick has something figured out this year, especially with the COT. After having resigned my distaste for the #24 earlier this season, I think this might be my #1 pick for the title this year. I cannot put my finger on it, but I just have a feeling that there's a little more fire in Jeff to get his 5th title, than for Jimmie to get his second. If I had to bet, I'd put my money on JG.

3. Tony Stewart (5,030 pts.)
2007 victories: Chicagoland (July), Indianapolis (July), Watkins Glen (August)
Best Finish: 1st (2002, 2005)

Ole Smoke was hot as a fresh baked biscuit earlier in the summer. He notched another win against his former white whale (Indy), in addition to a win at Chicagoland. Some of that fire seems to have waned, but look for Smoke to get hot again during the chase. He's got some good tracks, and he always seems to turn it on when need be.

4. Carl Edwards - (5,020 pts.)
2007 victories: Michigan (June), Bristol (August)
Best Finish: 3rd (2005)

Mr. Ed doesn't deserve to be here. I lost all respect for Cousin Carl last year, when he decided to pull some Cole Trickle mess at Michigan. He's not going to win the title. Karma won't let him.

5. Kurt Busch - (5,020 pts.)
2007 victories: Pocono (August), Michigan (August)
Best Finish: 1st (2004) –

Ain't it funny how just a few months ago, he was on the outside looking in. Then he tore through the month of August bumping JR out in the process, to make it into the chase. Clearly, Busch has been the hottest driver on the circuit lately. Even with the troubles he had in Richmond, he managed a top 10 finish. Look for the blue deuce to be in the hunt right to end, that's if he can survive 'Dega.

6. Denny Hamlin - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: New Hampshire (July)
Best Finish: 3rd (2006)

My hometown hero. He started his career racing against JR on computer games, and now he's made it to the top. I think Denny has got a great shot at winning the title, but with only 1 victory this year, and having to race against Smoke, I would defer to his elder and meaner teammate for the Cup, this year.

7. Martin Truex Jr. - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: Dover (June)
Best Finish: 19th (2006)

Even though JR2 has managed to win a race this year and qualify for the championship, I just don't think DEI has got the equipment necessary to win a title. JR's run in 2004 is as close as I think they'll ever get.

8. Matt Kenseth - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: California (February)
Best Finish: 1st (2003) –

Ford has had a down year, this year. But the rocket has been quietly lurking all summer. He's not had the victories, but he's run very well. It wouldn't surprise me to see the rocket get another win, maybe at New Hampshire. Albeit quietly, he could easily challenge for the title this year.

9. Kyle Busch - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: Bristol (March)
Best Finish: 10th (2006)

Shrub's running for the hands down best team in the sport, but I think his youthful exuberance and penchant for causing wrecks will prevent a championship for the #5 team. On a personal note, though, I do hope the team keeps a few notes that JR can use next year in the car when he runs for the title.

10. Jeff Burton - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: Texas (April)
Best Finish: 3rd (2000)

Mr. Safety might just be the sentimental favorite this year. Without bridesmaid Martin, Burton might be the best old guy in the chase not to have won a championship. Although, I'd love to see him reach the pinnacle of his career, I just don't think RCR has it together enough.

11. Kevin Harvick - (5,010 pts.)
2007 victories: Daytona (Feb.)
Best Finish: 4th (2006)
Happy hasn't won a race since the 500, and lately he's been a little shaky. He could rebound, but remember, RCR's got an engine deal with DEI, and DEI's been blowing engines like it's going out of style.

12. Clint Bowyer - (5,000 pts.)
2007 victories: None
Best Finish: 17th (2006)

He's never even won a Cup race, so the chances of him winning the championship are not good. He's a great racecar driver, but he's not a serious competitor for the title . . . this year.

It is being reported that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have released David Boston as he faces DUI charges that mired yet another comeback attempt.

HHR wonders what "could have been" with this talented physical specimen, as we take a chronological look back at his career.



We know drug tests say otherwise, but we feel he bulked up naturally.

The Ole' Ball Coach is at it again. This following South Carolina’s win over Georgia this past Saturday:

"It wasn't like they were some big, powerful team," Spurrier said on his television show Sunday. "They've actually lost five in a row to Eastern Division opponents. Kentucky and Vandy beat 'em last year."

Another headline that had me bewildered...

'Killer Bees' Descend on New Orleans

Photo from SLAM! Sports

File this under misleading headlines. From ESPNews Headlines rss feed:

Russell arrives in Oakland to sign record deal

For a moment I though Clive Davis was involved.

And so does HHR punching bag/poster boy Will Demps

Ex-Giant Demps signs one-year contract with Texans

Coach Kubiak welcomes Will to the team.

Fantastic find by FireJoeMorgan: "The Baseline Report: Professional Scouting for Fans from Mike Pagliarulo & Team."

Apparently, Pags is none-to-fond of Billy Beane (the not homosexual one) and the whole concept of Moneyball (though the writer of the "Money Haul" post doesn't seem to grasp exactly what those concepts are).

Regardless, Pags seems very vindictive and bitter about something. Or at least I think that's what I made out from all the rambling. His long-winded off-the-wall rant made him an instant "Separated at Birth" candidate with the Warrior.

Amazingly, we were able to find audio of a message Pags left Beane courtesy of TMZ.com.

Click here to listen.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yoooooooouuuuu. (RU)

I kicked off my sports-filled weekend on Friday night with a trip up the New Jersey Turnpike to watch the Scarlet Knights take on Navy's Midshipmen. I recall asking the feller I was with as Navy took the field "Is it proper to boo servicemen?" So the two of us golf clapped for our sailors-to-be.

It seems we were among the few at Rutgers Stadium that night with a touch of class.

From today's Star Ledger: Obscene fans at Rutgers draw a penalty flag

Navy was booed and peppered with "You suck!" chants when they stepped on the field for both halves. Toward the end of the second half, Rutgers students in the new bleacher section began to serenade the adjacent section of Navy fans and uniformed Midshipmen.

''F--- you, Navy. F---you, Navy. F--- you, Navy."

I did hear the a-hole chants directed at the zebras in the penalty-laden game, but I guess I wasn't within earshot of the f-bombs.

As you are aware, as youngsters Fat Willard and I had an almost religious zeal for baseball card collecting. Hell, I collected anything sports related I could get my hands on. I'm even the stupid idiot moron who spent money on crappy crap like this:



I guess I thought if I was good enough to wear t-shirts with Taz, Bugs and Daffy donned in my favorite sports team's apparel, I was good enough to shell out money for cards in the same vain.

Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot.

What's even worse is I CAN'T THROW THIS CRAP OUT.

In addition to baseball, football & basketball cards, I have totes and totes and totes of boxes of everything from Desert Storm cards to the A-Team, and maybe even worse than Upper Deck Looney Tunes, hockey. Yep, I even have those.

Any way, I found this site feature months ago, and still find myself going back and re-reading it regularly for a good laugh, not only because I have most of these cards (or ones just like them), but I remember when playing high school baseball we used to compete to see who could find the most obscure players and post their ridiculous cards around the locker room. (Click the banner for the link.)


Kudos to you, JoeSportsFan.

Go check out their site. Tons of funny sheet on there. Then again, you've probably already been there.

Well, at least the pundits can't say the Appalachian State game was the greatest upset of all-time if Michigan posts a losing record.

I can't add much to the unbelievable cluster f that is Michigan football. Michigan fans knew that the defense was going to be bad, but we thought that the much-touted Defensive Coordinator Ron English would be able to field a serviceable D to stop the opposing offense a few times. Those hopes were dashed along with English's aspirations to be the next head coach.

I didn't watch the Appalachian State game, only the ticker on the bottom of the screen and then the Gamecast at the end (horrible idea). Knowing Michigan football, I was concerned about Appalachian State and knew that they would not be a pushover. However, I assumed Michigan would win and didn't put any effort into watching it, just as the players assumed and did put any effort into it.

Now we have the Oregon debacle at home. 39-7.

Michigan fans will deal with this season in their own way. Personally, I will have to rely on the Reverend for my college football season as I do not anticipate watching many games. But the thing that has my face hotter than a ginger in the sun is reports of Michigan State fans.

In my out-of-state town, it is a tradition, and oftentimes the only way, to watch your team at a bar. I have heard from numerous sources of Michigan State fans taunting Michigan fans outside the alumni bar and staying at bars simply to rag on Michigan fans while they are watching the game. Are you kidding me!? Michigan State fans?! What in the world have you ever done?

The thing with Michigan State fans is that they think they are as good as Michigan. They win the Paul Bunyan Trophy once every six years by acts of God or the clock keeper. But when they do miraculously win, its like a damn leprechaun parade at church the next day. Michigan expects to win, Michigan State offers their firstborn to win against a crummy Michigan team. When Michigan wins, we take it in stride. State wins and they all have that stupid smug smile on their face that you want to kick in.

I'm not raving about Ohio State even though I hate them more than MSU and have reportedly conducted similar behavior such as buying App. State gear, but they are a worthy opponent. Michigan State fans need to remember when they are celebrating other teams' losses that they cheer for the Spartans.

- posted by C.R. Dunbar

Ladies and Gentleman, we have another Will Demps on our hands.

As we all know, Ren and I are big fans of Philly sports, particularly the Phils and the Birds.

Over the past baseball season we've learned some things about on of our favorite Phils, Shane Victorino. Ren was an early fan on the Flyin' Hawaiian for obvious reasons - his speed, consistency, rocket arm and generally what just seemed like good natured sportsmanship.

Two things happened this year to make us think otherwise:

Incident #1 - Each year the Phillies host "Photo Day" usually held on a Saturday or Sunday, it gives fans the opportunity to come a few hours early for a day game, and get a chance to take pictures and get autographs from all of the players. My cousin took his 9-year old son, and huge Phillies fan out to photo day. Came home with tons of pictures, some great and stories about players who were really nice and genuine (believe it or not, they found Pat the Pat to be among the nicest, friendliest players, particularly to the kids), but also came home with a huge case of disappointment in one particular Phil - Shane Victorino. Apparently, Mr. Dicktorino (as I now refer to him) was down right dismissive to the children, and seemed too good to take some time, sign a few autographs and snap a few pictures. Now, this could be an isolated incident, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe there was a medical emergency that required him to bypass the children and get to the clubhouse, maybe he signed more than everyone else and was spent for the day. Hell, my cousin, unlike his son, is a Yankees fan and I wouldn't put it past him to make a snide comment. I'm willing to let him slide, and think he was just busy and/or in a hurry. Sure, Howard, Chutley, Camels and even Harry the K were friendly enough as evidenced by some great photo ops, so why wouldn't the Hawaiian be? But that leads me to...

Incident #2 - Ren receives Sports Illustrated, compliments of his lovely wife, me. I flip through it from time to time, especially for the regular columns in the front of the mag. I guess each issue they do a "Pop Culture" grid where they take a handful of players from various sports/teams, and ask them the same random 5 questions. Shane Victorino was among those questioned.

Question #1 - "I'm Superbad when I...." most answers here were of the "when I'm golfing" nature. Victorino's answer "Get around women."

Question #2 - "What is in your pocket?" All of the answers, except his were some combination of wallet, keys and cell phone. His answer "Wallet, cell phone, Trojans" and I am assuming here that he cannot fit the USC football team in his pocket. ." Wow.... professional baseball players get lots of girls????????? Go figure.

Victorino just before his audition for The Pick-up Artist

Question #4 - "Boxers or Briefs"..... to me there are two answers here (well three, since a few went the boxer-brief route). But his answer , "None I go commando." Being that you sweat in a uniform for at least 3 hours a day, I find this just disgusting.

Question #5 - "Person I am dying to have dinner with?" Should be an insightful answer that illustrates the type of person you are. Once again, Victorino has a doosey - "Jessica Biel."

What is he gong for here? Is he trying to come off as an a-hole? I mean seriously. Maybe I feel this way because I am a woman, but I feel like if this is the kind of guy you are, then you deserve the trashy groupies who hang around professional athletes looking for a piece. I'd hope that Sports Illustrated draws a slightly more sophisticated readership of men than that of Maxim or Stuff, which would be a more appropriate venue for such answers.

First you're too good to take a picture with a 9-year old fan, then you think you're cool cause you let your disease infested junk hang out there, while fishing for your Trojans and waiting for Jessica Biel to dump JT and return your calls? You're not even among the top 5 best-looking Phillies!

Grow up, Shane, grow up. And put on some dang underwear.

-posted by Ariel

Click here to read Part 1 of the interview

Ever meet any players?
I met a lot of professional athletes when I was a kid, but not because I was with Beckett. During the summer my Dad would take me with him to Cardinals and St. Louis Blues practices. I'd shag pucks for the Blues and watch the Cardinals take batting practice while my Dad did his interviews for that night's story. I'd also occasionally go with my dad down to the locker rooms at old Busch Stadium or the old St. Louis Arena, where the Blues used to play before it was torn down.

There are two incidents where I met pro athletes that stand out in my mind. The first was when I was at Cardinals spring training in St. Petersburg, Florida. I was about ten years old. My Dad mentioned to Whitey Herzog, the legendary (at least in St. Louis) Cardinals manager, that I was in the stands watching batting practice.

I realize that people outside of St. Louis might not know much about the "White Rat", as Whitey was known, but let's just say he sometimes had a colorful way of expressing himself. Apparently, Whitey said something to my Dad along the lines of, "What the %$@# is he doing up there? Get his @%# in the dugout!" My dad is old school about journalistic ethics, was horrified at the idea. The next thing I know, Whitey is yelling at me to get down in the dugout. He then proceeded to get a ball and directed all the players to sign it. My dad was mortified. Good times.

The second athlete was Muhammad Ali. I don't want to get into it in great detail, but let me just say that even now he's the most powerful presence in any room. It was a great honor for me to meet someone who lived his life according to his beliefs and had such an impact on modern American history.

What did readers think about Kids Korner?
I never got a lot of direct feedback from the magazine because my Dad did all the talking, but the editors at Beckett loved it and couldn't wait to run it. Kids Korner generated more mail than almost any other column. The majority of people loved it, but every month they would get hate mail from adults that thought either a) it was a waste of space to have an article written by a kid or b) hated it because they thought they could write a better article.

Remember, this is before the Internet. So, some guy had to read my article and become so upset by it that he got a piece of paper, found a pen, wrote his thoughts down, found an envelope, addressed it, put a stamp on it, and then sent it to Beckett, a magazine about baseball cards. To complain about an article written by a ten-year-old. People are insane.

I remember that my Mom was horrified by this and told my Dad not to tell me about the hate mail, but he told me anyway. My reaction was that it was cool that I was getting hate mail.

Did you ever come face to face with someone who didn't like your writing?
I actually never had anyone tell me to my face that they hated Kids Korner. I'd like to think it's because most people liked the column, but maybe they were just being polite.

How long did it last?
I wrote for Beckett from December 1987 to January 1993, from the ages of nine till I was fourteen. I was not a monthly contributor. I think during that period I had about 23 articles published, though the bulk of them were probably written and published from 1988 to 1990. There are actually a couple of articles that never ran, sort of like “lost episodes.”

Did you stop writing or did they kill the column?
More than anything, I grew up. It's hard to write Kids Korner when you're fourteen. It's like the child actors when they aren't cute anymore.

Also, around the early 1990’s I started losing interest in collecting. It became too expensive, with all the limited edition cards and inserts. One pack of cards was a couple of bucks. Completing one full set of cards became a really expensive proposition. Kids could no longer just take their pocket money and buy a few packs of cards on their own. The greedy adults ruined it.

Anyone ever recognize you back then?
I never really had anyone recognize me because the picture that went with my articles in Beckett was possibly the worst headshot in the history of photography. It's embarrassing. To this day I wonder why we didn't send in a better picture.

(Editor’s Note: Sorry Tommy, we found the picture)

My friends and classmates in primary and high school all knew about it. I never really had anyone try to make fun of me for it, though. I didn't have people on the street recognize me but I was just a kid, so I didn't meet too many strangers.

As I got older, occasionally people would ask me after I had introduced myself, "Say, are you by chance the Tommy Wheatley that wrote for Beckett?" At that point I'd own up to it, and we'd chat for a bit about collecting or Beckett.

I did have one experience when I was in college that made me wonder, though. I lived with the same roommate for the last three years of university. During our first year together, we were talking one day and the subject of card collecting came up and I mentioned that I was really into it as a kid and that I even wrote for Beckett. My roommate, who was kind of a mysterious guy anyway, looked at me and said, "Oh, I know who you are."

After that I wondered if there weren't more guys like him out there that knew exactly who I was but didn't want to say anything about it when they met me. Collecting sports cards isn't exactly the coolest hobby to be admitting in college.

Why didn't you continue writing? You had an impressive resume by the age of 14.
I didn't stop writing; I just stopped doing it professionally. I've had a love of writing from at a young age. I was blessed to have excellent writing teachers when I was growing up. My father is still the best writer I know and he wasn't shy about telling me what I was doing wrong. No coddling there.

In high school I had a teacher named Tom Reck who was a fantastic writing teacher. I remember I got a C on my first paper in his class (almost everyone did, because we all sucked). I was a good student and I went home that night and threw a fit. My dad looked at my paper and the comments that Mr. Reck had written and said, "I don't disagree with anything he's written about your paper." This ticked me off even more.

I had an article published in a book called Fathers and Sons. I thought that was hysterical because the topic of the book was famous fathers and sons in sports. There were chapters on all these famous athletic families, and then a chapter on Tom and Tommy Wheatley. Hmmm, one of these things is not like the others...

I went to college at Truman State University, a liberal arts and sciences school in a small town in northeastern Missouri. There was a paper at Truman called The Monitor. A group of students founded it in the early 1990s after they watched Noam Chomsky's film “Manufacturing Consent", about how a small number of corporations controls a majority of media outlets, which limits the number of viewpoints in the marketplace. They thought our school should have more than one paper. I wrote extensively for The Monitor for about three years and was also an editor for one year.

Two articles I'm very proud included a story about a fistfight between a student and a professor, where I scooped the school paper and got an interview with both the professor and the student. The other article was about how Shell Oil was basically paying the military in Nigeria to wipe out villages of people so they could drill for oil. As a result of the efforts of many students on my campus, the local Shell station was forced to close its doors.

How did you get into DJing?
I was turned on to dance music during 1998, when groups like Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, Crystal Method, and numerous others broke into the mainstream in America. They were calling it "Electronica.” Thank god that name didn't stick. I started going to raves and became fascinated with the idea of DJing, that a person could take two records recorded at different speeds and keys by different people in different countries and mix them together so that the listener couldn't tell where one song began and one song ended.

The year after college I bought some turntables and started learning to mix records. Some of my friends were DJs and they were very helpful in teaching me how to do it properly. I became obsessed with it and would practice for hours a day, so it wasn't long before I was playing out at house parties. I wasn't really planning on it ever being more than just a hobby, though. It's really tough to break into any part of the music scene in America.

During my first three months in China I met another American named MJ. He was a club DJ and he told me about how he was getting flown around the country to do parties at different clubs. I thought that DJing would be more interesting than teaching English (you can only teach the "My name is ____. What's your name?" class so many times before your brain explodes), and also would be a good opportunity to explore the country. So, I started DJing on the weekends at a local bar, and eventually was able to quit teaching and DJ full time. I've been to over fifty cities in China to play records.

I play house music, and I only use vinyl. It's hard to say what style I play without sounding like a dance music elitist, but if I had to categorize it I'd call it "Chunky Electro Tech House." It's basically music that you'd dance to at a club.

Here's a link to a page with a couple of my mixes. It's all free.

What’s the craziest thing you've seen while DJing?
I had just finished at set at this club and a huge fight broke out. It spilled from the second tier VIP seating to the first tier, and then they brawled all the way across the club to the door. Guys were bleeding and hitting each other with these heavy metal barstools. It was wild. My girlfriend looked at me and said, "That's the best fight I've ever seen.”

Ever look back and cringe at the articles?
Honestly, I don't really feel that way, because the articles were pretty good. Remember, Kids Korner was a risky thing for a print magazine to try, any print magazine. Beckett was like the Bible for card collectors, so it was a big deal for them to hand over a page every month to a kid. These days, a column like Kids Korner might just appear online.

It was very ambitious on their part. I don't know if I've ever read a monthly column in any other magazine written by a grade school kid. Beckett wouldn't have run it for as long as they did if it was just a bad idea.

By contrast, after the first few Kids Korner articles were so well received, they created an article called "Teen Topics". This was a monthly column that was written by a different teenager every month. It didn't last very long. I think it was unsuccessful because they didn't have just one kid write it every month.

Sometimes, there would be a Kids Korner article and a Teen Topics article in the same issue. I used to remember always reading the Teen Topics article to see if it was better than my Kids Korner article. Typically, I always thought mine were better.

How did a Kids Korner article get written, from the concept to the finished article?
Looking back, this was the best part of my experience writing Kids Korner, because I did it all with my Dad. He was like the equivalent of a record producer in a studio.

We always wrote down potential ideas for stories. Sometimes the articles would be about some aspect of collecting and sometimes they would be about something I did, like being the batboy, having a baseball card trading party, and so on. I think the best articles were about something I did.

Whenever my we had a bunch of ideas ready and my Dad had free time we would write an article, sometimes even two. We would go up to my bedroom and my dad would sit on my bed with his laptop computer. I would shoot baskets on myNerf hoop and dictate to my Dad what I wanted to say. He'd type it in for me. After he typed something in, he would read it back to me to make sure it was how I wanted it. I do remember being very specific with what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.

Then, after we'd written the whole thing, we'd go back through it and fix it up. My dad would say things like, "Ok, you've started the last three sentences with "I". Can you think of a different way to say this?" or "Do you want to talk about how you got the interview with this person or just go straight to the interview?"

The thing people really liked about Kids Korner was that it really sounded like a nine-year-old kid. My Dad pretty much left my words the way they were and just helped me fix the grammar and arrange my thoughts properly. He did a great job letting my voice come through in the articles.

The hardest part of any article was coming up with the first sentence. That used to frustrate me. We'd be all ready to start the article and it would take me twenty minutes to think of a good first line. After getting that first line, the rest of the article went pretty quickly. Sometimes, when I got on a roll, I'd be talking so fast my Dad would have to tell me to wait for him to catch up on typing it all.

Where are your cards now?
My cards are all packed in large purple Tupperware tubs in the basement of my parent's house. All the complete sets and boxes of commons are in those set boxes that you had to fold yourself. I also have stacks of three-ring binders with cards in them. It would be entertaining to look through those and see which cards I had selected as a kid to be worthy of binder status.

About how many do you have?
I have thousands of cards. The majority of them are from probably 1987 to 1991. Those were the years when my Dad and I were really heavy into collecting.

We have a whole lot of cards from 1987. My Dad just loved the 1987 Topps cards because they had a wood grain design that reminded him of the 1962 Topps cards he collected as a kid. I mean, he really got into those 1987 Topps cards. We bought so many packs that year that I think we completed about six full sets. My mom thought we were out of our minds.

Ever think of selling them?
I don't think about selling those cards because they just aren't worth that much. The cards from the 1980's were mass-produced, so they aren't very hard to come by. Now, if me how they miraculously shot up in value, I'd sell off some of those excess complete sets I have, but I'd still keep at least one complete set of everything I had. I think in the future those 1980's cards won't be worth much, but will make great gifts for a lot of young sons and daughters.

Early in the 2nd quarter in the Eagles/Packers game, and Im already sick to my stomach. No, it’s not the play of the Eagles, though the penalties have been atrocious. The offense is running the ball quite well, a little flash in the passing game from K. Curtis, and the defense looks pretty damn strong (albeit against a young, inexperienced offense). The reason I am sick is the bullshit announcing.

And while I can point to Moosetits making the comment that James Jones “has great hands at the point of the catch” (What the eff does that mean?), I more point to the constant verbal falating of the Packers defense. Am I missing something? In the first quarter they up 100+ yards, and B West is averaging about 5+ a carry.

Stupid Cowboys.

A friend of HHR made the big time...

And by friend we mean "guy in our fantasy league"
and by big time we mean "buried on SI.com"
and by Superfan we mean "the guy no one wants to sit near."

Kidding

I wrote a glowing post here a few weeks back about the return of Rick Ankiel to the majors.

Now comes word that Ankiel received shipments of HGH through a Florida pharmacy in 2004, right before MLB banned it as a performance enhancing substance.

As a Cards fan, I am positively sick to my stomach.

Bernie Miklasz with the St. Louis Post Dispatch has an excellent (and early) take on what this means for Ankiel, the Cardinals, and Major League Baseball.

Sign him up. So what if Nettles rocks him in the ninth, a 57-year-old "crooner" can't be worse than the Phillies pen as of late.

Now, y'all will have to pardon the typos in this post, cause I'm writing this with 3 fingers held silently in the air. I'm doing so in memory to the greatest man to ever drive a race car, not to mention the best race car driver ever!!!!

I'm talking about Dale Earnhardt, and after having recently watched the new documentary, Dale, I'm feely insanely inspired. Inspired for what, I'm not sure. I take the metro to work, so it's not like I can pretend I'm on the high banks of Daletona every day. But I'm inspired.

This recent documentary puts anything else ever done on the Intimidator to shame. In the words of his son, "awwwwhhsome". Dale had it all, the rivalry with Waltrip, battles with his daddy, the pass in the grass, and even his tragic death. It was in depth like I've never seen before. Even June-bug said it was in depth, and he lived it for crying out loud.

Y'all, if you only watch 2 hours of television between now and next Juvember, watch Dale. CMT will be running it continuously I'm sure. Catch it. Even if you aren't a NASCAR fan, even if you can't even spell Dale, you should watch it. But if you can't spell Dale, you probably couldn't operate a remote, so get some adult supervision first, but I digress.

As we approach the last race before the chase, this weekend in Richmond. And with my boy, driver of the #8, needing a divine intervention to make the chase, I'm feeling inspired. I can only hope ole June-bug's feeling the same way. If anything can do it, though. Dale's gonna be it!!!

Before the HHR boys divulge our picks, here's our buddy, The Chief, from Your Fantasy Team Sucks gives us his division-by-division breakdown and playoff picks...

(division winners marked with *)

NFC North

*Bears - Purely because of their D.

Packers - Brett will be on fumes this year, I'd rather be running on premium fumes than regular gas. It's the difference between a guinness fart and and a taco bell fart.

Vikings - A Taco Bell fart that leaves a purple stripe.

Lions - This is Jon Fucking Kitna's team, and he's taking it the only place he feels safe from the storm: the cellar.

NFC East

*Eagles - McNabb doesn't even need the leg he's rehabbing. He'll probably just break it off midway through the season and jam a metal pipe in there or something. He's bionic.

The Team Tony Romo is On - Because according to everyone, he's the only person worth mentioning.

Redskins - This feels about right.

Giants - Brandon Jacobs is gonna make every fantasy owner cry. He was good at taking goal line touches. But he never really worked to get to the goal line, did he?

NFC South

*Saints – They are just too good.

Bucs – Will randomly be better for no good reason. The part of No Good Reason will be played by Jeff Garcia.

Panthers – They keep slipping a little every year.

Falcons – Somewhere, Joey Harrington is looking at a playbook and thinking, "where's that INT route I was so good at?"

NFC West

*49ers – This feels weird.

Rams – Stephen and the Bulge should be a buddy comedy.

Seahawks – Shaun Alexander will only be disappointing whatever clown drafted him. The rest of us knew better, right?

Cardinals – Matt Leinert will be just as good a father as he is a starting QB.

AFC North

Bengals – I think I hate every team in this division. So fine, uhhh Bengals will win.

Steelers – Back to form, but not their year. Steely McBeam is responsible.

Ravens – I am so unsold on this team.

Cleveland – The Frye Era will be terrible – all 2.5 weeks of it. Enter Brady the Lady Quinn.

AFC East

*Patriots – They are magical.

Dolphins – Crazy pick here, but I gotta feeling. Plus I need to separate myself from my peers.

Jets – Not a great situation at any major starting position.

Bills – Losman, dude. He's studying with Harrington I bet.

AFC South

*The Team with that Manning Guy on it – I can't remember his name, but I heard a reference to a monkey off his back or something. I'll just guess that I was told Manning got off on a monkey riding bareback. I'm pretty sure that's what I wanted to hear.

Jaguars – Rawwwr!

Texans – Think the QB will have wished he stayed in Atlanta just one more year?

Titans – leaking oil. Vince Young can't scramble on every play, can he?

AFC West

*Broncos – Always have a ridiculous smaller running back who gains 1,000+ yds

Chargers – LT and Rivers both great, but who else is?

Chiefs – Awkward Silence Goes Here. Awkward Silence then bitch slapped by Herm Edwards.

Raiders – Culpepper to Moss almost happened again if the receiver hadn't left to the Pats. It would be like watching my grandparents play catch. Old people are funny sometimes. "Give me back my teeth!" they yell. They're so precious.

--

Wildcard: Chargers, Steelers, Packers, Rams

Conference Winners: Pats (Over Broncs), Saints (Over Eagles)

Superbowl: PATS WIN, PATS WIN

And Tom Brady celebrates by getting everyone pregnant.



On to HHR crew's more boring break-down:

	Rev. Shaw	Ren Mac	Fat Willard	CR Dunbar
AFC East	New England	New England	New England	New England
AFC North	Cincinnati	Cincinnati	Baltimore	Cincinnati
AFC South	Indianapolis	Indianapolis	Indianapolis	Indianapolis
AFC West	San Diego	San Diego	San Diego	San Diego
AFC Wildcards	Baltimore	Baltimore	Cincinnati	Baltimore
	Denver	Tennessee	Tennessee	Denver
NFC East	Philadelphia	Philadelphia	Philadelphia	Redskins
NFC North	Chicago	Chicago	Green Bay	Detroit
NFC South	New Orleans	New Orleans	Tampa Bay	New Orleans
NFC West	San Fancisco	St. Louis	St. Louis	Seattle
NFC Wildcards	Washington	Minnesota	New Orleans	Arizona
	Seattle	Seattle	Dallas	Philadelphia
AFC Conf. Winner	New England	San Diego	San Diego	San Diego
NFC Conf. Winner	Chicago	New Orleans	New Orleans	New Orleans
Super Bowl Winner	New England	San Diego	San Diego	San Diego

straight outta your nightmare

Pick ‘Em is back for Week Two of the college football season. The Rev. went 9 for 10 for last week’s games, losing only the BYU vs. Arizona match up (which BYU won 20 to 7 … damn those feisty Mormons).

This week’s games were a little more difficult – not many cupcakes to pick against on this list. So buckle up, as we get ready to roll with the picks:

(Picks in BOLD):

10 points: Notre Dame (0-1) at PENN STATE (1-0) – Could Touchdown Jesus have looked any worse last weekend - at home, against an unranked Ga. Tech team no less? Now comes word that true frosh QB Jimmy Clausen will start his first game for ND at Happy Valley this weekend. Barring a meltdown by Lions’ QB Anthony Morelli (who looked very good last weekend), the Lions should win this one handily. Things are starting to look pretty ugly for Charlie Weis and the Irish, and we’re not even through Week Two.

9 points: Virginia Tech (1-0) at LSU (1-0) – Death Valley could be one of the toughest venues to pull out a road win in all of college football. Between Mike the Tiger, the band, the student section, and the many other thousands of Cajuns that crawl out of the swamp for Tiger football games, the atmosphere in Baton Rouge will be absolutely electric come Saturday. Former Tigers QB Rohan Davey sums it up this way: “Everyone is screaming … everyone is going crazy. You can smell the bourbon."

Va Tech had major issues on offense last week in their win against East Carolina. LSU, on the other hand, has one of the best defenses in all of college football – they forced six turnovers last week in a 45-0 rout of Miss. State. Tigers win; drunken revelry ensues.

8 points: North Carolina State (0-1) at BOSTON COLLEGE (1-0) – New Wolfpack coach Tom O’Brien heads back to square off against the team he led just a year ago. And he has no shot in this one. BC punked defending ACC Champ Wake Forest last week, and they looked real good doing it. I like BC at home in this one.

7 points: NEBRASKA (1-0) at Wake Forest (0-1) – Wake QB separated his shoulder in last week’s game at BC. Bad news for the Deacs.

6 points: Texas Christian (1-0) at TEXAS (1-0) – Just before the start of this season, Texas announced that they would extend coach Mack Brown through the 2017 or 2018 season. Simple reason – Brown has won close to 85% of his games as coach of Texas. Lloyd Carr’s can only dream of that kind of job security right now! TCU plays it tight, but Bevo and Brown will escape as winners in this one.

5 points: BOISE STATE (1-0) at Washington (1-0) – This one may be as close as a TD or possibly a FG, but Boise State has a little too much experience for the Huskies. Incidentally, UW’s probably about a year or two away from being a big-time player in the PAC-10. They had some near misses last year, so don’t be surprised to see Ty Willingham have the Huskies back in the hunt before too long.

4 points: South Carolina (1-0) at GEORGIA (1-0) – There’s a lot of things I like about Steve Spurrier:
- The grimacing, pacing, and visor tossing on the sidelines.

- The infamous “you can’t spell Citrus without U T” comment.

- The Fun n’ Gun offense. Made Danny Boy a star.

- Snookering a $500k a year raise out of South Carolina for not denying rumors he was being courted for the open coaching job at Alabama.

- Criticizing the South Carolina administration for denying two Gamecock recruits admission to school earlier this year for not qualifying academically.

Only the Ol’ Ball Coach could provide such entertainment and do it with a straight face. Can’t wait to see who he throws under the bus at the press conference after the impending loss to UGA.

3 points: Oregon (1-0) at MICHIGAN (0-1) – In the aftermath of last weekend’s shocking win by Appalachian State at the Big House, I sent Dunbar a message. Here’s what I wrote:

***

“What a disaster. Sorry.”

***

Simple. To the point. I’m sad that I haven’t heard back from him yet, but as a sports fan, I can understand why I haven’t. That is, unless he threw himself off a bridge after an inconsolable night of drinking by himself. In that case, I would be worried.

2 points: South Florida (1-0) at AUBURN (1-0) – Auburn QB Brandon Cox looked awful and overmatched last weekend against a decent Kansas State team. Auburn will have to play a little better to knock of the Bulls when they invade Jordan-Hare Stadium this weekend. A lot of folks are looking for an upset in this one, and I do think this game will come down to the wire … but Auburn will win, possibly in spite of themselves, and remain unbeaten heading into SEC play.

1 point: MIAMI (1-0) at Oklahoma (1-0) – This is the “I Don’t Have a Clue” game of the week. I’ll take the Canes is this game of evenly-matched squads, and keep my fingers crossed that they don’t go on a robbing and killing spree while they’re in Norman.

SEASON RECORD: 9-1

When you got Wheels?

Baugher pleads not guilty day after release by Pats

Patriots coach Bill Belichick signed 30-year-old veteran Chris Hanson for the job out of training camp.

Do you think Belichick lured Baugher in from an online chat to a house nearby Pats camp? Belichick quickly skidaddled, and in walked Chris Hanson, who asks Baugher...

"Why did you come here? Let me read what you wrote. 'I like to punt it high, hard and deep. I like to angle it.' Then there is something in here about a coffin. You sick bastard. You are free to leave."

Larry complains about the umps

It's time to move on.

The Giants are that guy that knows his girlfriend is way out of his league. She is intellectually and physically superior to him. The notion that she obviously catches the eye of many a men drives him absolutely nuts. He wants to lock her away, monitor her wardrobe and tell her who she can and can’t be friends with. Finally she’s had enough, and with all her will, breaks out of this madness. She dares open her mouth and criticizes this Neanderthal and all he wants to do is tell her to shut the f*&% up. She’s moved on to bigger and better things, in an arena that respects her mind as much as her body.

The crushing blow to the guy who once had it all feels something like this:



And finally, hopelessness:

Shut the F$%*K up Tiki

Tiki is that girl you date because she is smoking hot but you can't stand being around. But you can't break up with her because who dumps a hot chick for no reason. Then finally, she breaks up with you and you could care less. You don't call, or text, or act like life is any different without her. And it KILLS HER. So she has to bash you any chance she gets, just so you respond, and she feels better because it means you still care.

Or so I've heard...I never dated a girl like that. Or Tiki Barber. I am more a Will Demps guy.

Labor Day usually means a few things to most people... days getting shorter, kids going back to school, yada yada yada. To Ren and I it means two specific things

1) Beginning of another year for the Birds, and the prior-to-first-game-optimistc-mantra that usually goes something like this... "They're looking good this year..." and in or about November changes to "Jesus Christ, they suck..." But hey, we're Philly fans. It's in our blood.

2) Our (read: My) TV shows are back!!!!

OK, so what does this have to do with sports or athletics? Well, the return of Dancing with the Starts and Biggest Loser, that's what. I sort of fell out of touch with Fat March... but summer vacation and a big move were among the reasons. Last night's episode featured longer walks over shorter periods of time, and the end of one walkers fate - Anthony, the 26 year old virgin. I must say, I wasn't sad. He lost somewhere around 80 pounds over the 39 days or whatever, and was a real bitch. He created drama with my boy Will, who was booted off last week, and other than Jamie Lynn, I don't think anyone else really cared for him and his snarky comments. Besides the fact that he was 10 miles off pace... But I digress.

We won't meet the Biggest Loser contestants until at earliest tonight, the start of the first show. I am happy to hear that Jillian is back... she was so bad ass on the first two seasons, then they replaced her last year with a softer trainer, but now she's back... should be interesting.

However, much ado has been made about the latest cast of Dancers.... Here is a brief overview and my expert analysis (and early picks) of who I think will succeed, blunder, and just be there for pure entertainment value.

The Women:

Mel B, aka Scary Spice: She is hot off the PR windstorm of being Eddie Murphy's baby mama. She is probably using the show as a vehicle to hype the Spice Girls Reunion Tour (not really sure why anyone thought this was necessary) as well as to lose the baby weight. She has the name recognition and the dance background, but I am just not sure how she'll fly in this competition. She'll probably make it down to the final 5 or 6.

Sabrina Bryan: Unless you're a girl aged 14 and under, or the parent of a girl aged 14 and under, you probably won't know this girl. She is on Disney Channel's Cheetah Girls, is a very cute girl, and might make it a few weeks, but then she's out. Not enough street cred to get very far.

Jennie Garth: Ahhh, my girl Kelly from 90210. After pushing out three kids, she still looks hot, and I am sure she'll go far in the competition. Morons like me will vote for her, just as we voted for her 90210 castmate Ian Ziering in the previous season. I think she'll do well from a name recognition standpoint, and I have to believe she has some rhythm... I am pulling for her big time. A girl hasn't won this damn show since season one's Kelly Monaco.

Josie Moran: She is a B-lister for sure... has done some modeling and acting over the years, but I am not sure what demographic she'll really resonate with. This is a tough call. I'll put her somewhere in the middle of the road.

Jane Seymour: Ren and my dad are both big fans. I think she is the sole reason my dad watched Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman for 5 years.... She is bound to do good... she has a great body for a 50-something woman, she is extremely well-known, and just has a personality that I think will be fitting for this sort of show. (think the mom from Wedding Crashers...)

Marie Osmond: As Ren put it yesterday from the unflattering photo of her in People, "She looks like she swallowed Donnie." I think that says it all.


The Men:

Albert Reed: Who the hell he???

Wayne Newton: Well.... hmmm.... Yeah. I don't know about this one. He needs no introduction, and was eerily funny in Vegas Vacation. I just don't see him as a dancer. But I do see him getting lots and lots of votes regardless.

Floyd Mayweather: Professional boxer, 6-time world champion, undefeated record, blah, blah, blah. As long as he isn't as horrible as Master P, he might have a chance. Emmitt and Jerry went far, but weren't as scary either.

Cameron Mathison: Another B-lister, most recently known for his role on All My Children. That is sure to get the stay-at-home mom vote, though I am not sure how many others. But, if he's light on his feet there is always a chance.

Mark Cuban: The most annoying person on the face of the earth, period. I can't see him being any good at dancing, and I would actually peg him as the first to get voted off. He tried that Apprentice knock-off and it didn't work. He acts like a lunatic at Maverick's games. I mean, how much more bad press is he looking for? He has a hot partner though, but I doubt that will help him. He should stick to business and call it a day.

Helio Castroneves: I'll give the Apollo Ohno chance to win it all. He is an Indy-car champion, is pretty good looking, has that latin-american thing going for him. Can probably move very well. Of all the men, he has the best chance to win over the crowd and take home the disco ball trophy.

The show premiers on Sept. 24th.... check it out and check back for my weekly commentary.

Goldberg Defends Vick in `View' Debut

Frankly, I'm getting tired of this story. But, having already called out ShaNeNe Foxx and Starbury, I need to point it out to Whoopi Goldberg.

Goldberg said that "from where he comes from" in the South, dogfighting isn't that unusual.

"It's like cockfighting in Puerto Rico," she said. "There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country."

Mark this day. You will never, ever hear these words uttered again: Thank God for Joy Behar, the voice of reason:

"How about dog torture and dog murdering?" Behar asked.

Exactly.

Fortunately, where I come from in the civilized universe, people still have some common sense. Kudos to you, Behar. Kudos to you.

This morning, Ariel's boys on the Deuce (Mike & Mike) offered a list of players they deemed "un-boo-able." It had your Duncans, your Jeters, your Bradys and the like. I'm sure get the picture.

With everyone salivating over the start of the NFL's regular season and fresh off their fantasy football drafts, HHR would like to lecture you on who on your team we feel has earned the distinction of being boo-proof.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills

Marv Levy: Feel free to boo anyone on the current roster.

Miami Dolphins

Rickey Williams: Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

New England Patriots

Tom Terrific: Unless he starts having baby mama drama, in which case, knock yourself out.

New York Jets

Booooo Booooooo Boooo!

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens

Steve McNair: So maybe he’s on the downside of his career, the man’s a warrior Id take to battle any day.

Cincinnati Bengals

How could you boo any of these upstanding citizens?

Cleveland Browns

Art Modell: Get over it.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Najeh Davenport: You don’t want him pooping in your closet do you?

AFC South

Houston Texans

Matt Schaub: At least he’s not nicknamed Ookie.

Indianapolis Colts

Peyton Manning: You could have had Ryan Leaf to kick around. Think about that.

Jacksonville Jaguars

Fred Taylor. Feel free to boo his groin, though.

Tennessee Titans

VY. Nice warrior to replace the previous one. Hook’em Horns.

AFC West

Denver Broncos

Sam Adams: Makes a mean summer ale.

Kansas City Chiefs

Tony G.: Best of his era. Got his contract extension so he can stop whining.

Oakland Raiders

Warren Sapp: He swallowed the last guy that had the audacity to boo him.

San Diego Chargers

Philip Rivers & LT: Just think, this could have been Michael Vick and/or Fredo Manning.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys

Carrie Underwood: Single handedly mushed Tony Romo’s career. Thank you very much.

New York Giants

Tom Caughlin: You try dealing with a bunch of prima donnas and knuckleheads.

&

Eli "Fredo" Manning: He's had unreasonable expectations. It's not that he under-performs, it's just that he's not very good. Get used to it. And to think, to get him you let the Superchargers get Merriman, Kaeding and Rivers. Sounds fair.

Philadelphia Eagles

Donovan McNabb: Give the guy an f’n break. (But those bounce passes he throws in the flats make me want to strangle him.)

Washington Redskins

Chris “Hot Pants” Cooley. He’s got legs, and he knows how to use them.

NFC North

Chicago Bears

Kyle Orton: Plays hard, parties harder.

Detroit Lions

Barry Sanders. Hey, Dunbar, it’s time to stop blaming Barry.

Green Bay Packers

Brett Favre (a point of contention on the M&M list). I don’t care how long you have to wait for season tickets, he’s earned the right to throw 53 interceptions a year.

Minnesota Vikings

Mewelde Moore: Seems like a stand-up kind of guy. According to his Wikipedia entry:

Asked if he saw strippers or sex on his boat, Moore immediately replied: "Oh no, none of that. Sex? What are you talking about? That's crazy. Look man, I'm engaged. That would put me in trouble."

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons

Joey Harrington: This isn’t what he signed up for.

Carolina Panthers

Bunch of cheaters. You think Pinkston and Thrash would have gotten all jacked up on the line in the ’03 playoffs if they were on a level playing field? Even their kicker was juicing.

New Orleans Saints

You’re not supposed to boo anything related to N.O. I think Congress passed that law early last season. A little known amendment to that law said the officials had to give away the Eagles playoff game to them.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Jeff Garcia. You’ll see. !VIVA GARCIA!

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals

Kurt Warner: Don't mess with Jesus or Brenda.

St. Louis Rams

Travis Minor: He’s Baby Jordan. Oh, wait.

San Francisco 49ers

Nate Clemens: You think it’s easy trying being the highest paid defensive player in League history? You don’t know pressure.

Seattle Seahawks

Matt Hasselbeck: It takes a real man to pose for this:

The pre-wife and I like to check out new construction in our area, just to get ideas for our own home. In one of the houses (they come decorated) they had a boy’s room with a baseball theme. The bookshelf was filled with Beckett Baseball Card Monthly, a magazine my friends and I read religiously growing up. The issues were from the late 1980’s. I nostalgically flipped through and came across a favorite column of mine. Kid’s Korner by Tommy Wheatley.

I called Ren to share my find. Wheatley became kind of a running joke between the two of us over the years. Whenever either of us would get published, or write an insightful or funny email or message board post, we’d congratulated each other by calling the other “a real Tommy Wheatley.”

The joke and the reminiscing over the magazines got me to thinking. “What the hell ever happened to Tommy Wheatley?” I imagined he was a writer somewhere, considering he was published in a major magazine as a pre-teen.

I decided to find out. (Good bless Google.) I came across an article written by Tom Wheatley for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. This made sense, remembering that Wheatley was a Cardinals fan and often wrote about them for Beckett. I emailed and explained who I was and that I’d be interested in speaking with him. I got a response a few hours later. It was his father. He was glad to hear from me, and glad to hear people remembered Tommy. He gave me his email and told me to get in touch with him. He told me to give him a couple days to respond though, because he doesn’t get to a computer very often in China.

And that’s were our interview begins.

How did you end up in China?

That's the big question, right after "What is the meaning of life, eh?"

I have lived in Nanjing, China for the last five years. One of my best friends in college studied Chinese, and he lived in China for two years after graduation. When he returned home he persuaded me to go back with him. I wasn't working at the time, had a bit of money saved up, and had never been out of the US (Even though I was 24). When I came to China for the first time in the fall of 2002 it blew me away. After three months I came back to the US. The economy was in the toilet and the Iraq war was about to begin. I decided to go back to China for just six more months as an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher. Six months in China became a year, then two, then three...

Ok, let’s start with the obvious. How did you get the Beckett gig?
I think every kid that read Beckett wondered about that. It was nothing more than good old fashioned nepotism. My father is a sports journalist and in the mid-1980’s he done some work for them. In 1987 they wanted to do a story about card collecting from a kid's point of view. My Dad mentioned that I was a collector, so they gave me a shot. I think they envisioned it as a one-time, cute, gimmicky thing

Did you get paid?
I did get paid. I won't say how much, but I was surely in a higher tax bracket than most other ten-year-olds. They even gave me a raise after a couple of years.

Any free perks?
I got to do a tour of the Beckett offices when my Dad and I went to Texas for vacation. I was excited to meet the people that ran the magazine, and it turned out that they were pretty excited to meet me after reading about my life for so many years.

During that trip I also took a tour of the Score/Sportflicks headquarters and received a limited edition Nolan Ryan card. One side of the card was Score, the other was Sportflicks.

What article are you most proud of?
That’s a tough question. I'd say the guys at the magazine would say one of the more popular articles was the one where three friends of mine and I had a table selling cards at a card show. We were ruthless capitalists.

My personal favorite was the article about my experience as a batboy for a St. Louis Cardinals game. I had interviewed Cardinals pitcher Joe Magraine before the game, who was nice enough to take the time to talk to me. During the game he hit a home run. The story ended with the line, "Batboys aren't allowed to cheer, but I was cheering in my heart."

What was the card selling story about?
The idea for the article came from the fact that there were a lot of baseball card trading shows on the weekends. We wanted to do an article about what you should do if you wanted to have a booth and sell your cards at a show. At first, we were going to interview
a guy named Bill Goodwin. He dealt in vintage, graded cards and is regarded as one of the top people in the card collecting industry.

That was the plan, but my when my Dad found out how cheap it was to rent a booth at one of these shows, he got the idea that maybe my friends and I should just do it ourselves and we would write about how it went. I recruited three other collector friends and we ended up doing it one weekend.

I think it cost $100 to rent the booth, so we each put up $25. Our booth looked really good because Bill had given me some broken display cases for free. My grandfather fixed them so it looked like a professional table. The professionalism ended with those nice cases.

I can only wonder what these adults thought when they walked up to our table, with our gleaming display cases and complete lack of business ethics. We were all about thirteen years old at the time and had zero clue what we were doing.

It didn't occur to me until we got there and set up our stuff that the three guys that chipped in with me to rent the booth were all my friends, but they weren't friends with each other. We all also had basically the same inventories of cards. This ended up making things...interesting.

If a customer was looking at one of my friend's cards, another one of my friends at the table who was selling the same card would jump in and undercut him on the price. Then the first guy, not wanting to lose his customer, would undercut his own original price. I remember that two of my friends really started gunning for each other's customers. It was insane.

Another guy at the table spent all of his money in the first ten minutes buying things from other tables and then didn't have money to make change. Naturally, none of us would help him make change because we were trying to take all the business for ourselves. He had to cut deals with his customers so that they could pay him in exact change.

My dad was there the whole time, but just to make sure no one tried to rip us off. He didn't interfere when we were shooting ourselves in the foot, and I wouldn't have either if I was him because frankly it was too funny. He did manage to keep some semblance of order, but every now and then he'd have to use the bathroom or go chat with someone he knew. He's be gone for five minutes and the table would descend into "Lord of the Flies—The Baseball Card Convention". He'd come back and we'd all be at each other's throats. Our table was a big hit at that show, not because of the quality or uniqueness of our merchandise, but just for the spectacle of it.

We all ended up blowing any money we made. I was the only one that finished in the black. My net profit was something like $13, which was pathetic because I actually sold a lot of cards. At first I thought I had lost some of the money I made, but then my Mom sat me down and we did a little accounting and I was able to see for myself where the money went. I remember thinking, "Wow, I did all that work for thirteen bucks. I'm an idiot." Looking back on it, it was a really good life lesson. It's also a great memory. I'm laughing right now just thinking about it.

Finding Tommy (Part 2)

Spurrier tabs RS frosh Smelley to start 'Cocks' opener

If you don't think we'll be keeping an eye on headlines for some doozies in South Carolina this college football season, you are sadly mistaken.