Friday, January 25, 2008

Weighing the Heavy Hitters

What if you had to vote on the Presidential candidates based solely on their obscure sports-related endorsements?

Let's see how they stack up...

Johnny Damon (Giuliani): Baseball Player

World Champion idiot caveman.

Chuck Norris (Huckabee): Karate Champion

Can count to infinity (twice).

Sly Stallone (McCain): Body Builder / Fake Boxer

HGH Advocate.

John Kerry (Obama): Football
Enthusiast / Windsurfer

Ability to successfully plummet Presidential campaigns second to none.

Magic Johnson (Clinton): Hoops Legend

Can offer not only clout, but media training as well. Ballaz seem to love Hill.

Warrior (Paul): Pro Wrestler and Pundit

Tassels and face paint for rallies at no extra charge.

Rep. Heath Shuler (Edwards)

Bonus points to Edwards for also scoring Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh and the dorky, short, red-headed skateboarder from Airborne.


DCScrap said...

is this even a question? you'll be lucky if Chuck doesn't smite you down for even questioning who is the best endorser

Fat Willard said...

Chuck Norris invented democracy. He believes everyone is free to take a roundhouse kick to the face.

Hugging Harold Reynolds said...

We're already on the Warrior's hit list for the shitstorm we caused being the one's to discover his "blog" (only to have some biggies pick up on it and his site crash).

Then again, you're right. The Warrior is no Chuck Norris.