Thursday, January 10, 2008
What kind of man takes steroids? Apparently I should.
According to the Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition, a survey of 1,955 US men who used anabolic steroids found that the average user is:
Aged 31. (got a year to go but - check)
Likely to be a college graduate. (barely-check)
Has a "white-collar" job with a high income. (high, no, but collar is gleaming- check)
Majority (70.2%) self-identified as “perfectionists.” (have you seen my blogs?- that's one no)
Users averaged 11.07 years of weight training. (grunt-check)
The majority (69.6%) averaged four to five workout days per week. (check)
I should be using steroids. Why the hell didn't anyone tell me? Seriously, I hate when I am the last to know this shit. This is like in 7th grade when everybody was 'self-employed' by 'handing out jobs to themselves' while I was collecting baseball cards and taping episodes of Full House. (Ironically I wore those tapes out after I learned out how to hand jobs out to myself.)
Cancel my subscription to Men's Health. Fuckers.