Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's All Over!

(Clap Clap Clap Clap Sigh......)

It's All Over is a new feature where we give the sports world a reality check. A cold, hard, salty enema of a reality check designed to show that life isn't all fun and games: it also f*cking sucks. Once or twice a week, we'll ask you to help us come up with the most depressing captions possible. Winner will be announced in the following installation (If we can even motivate ourselves to get off the couch and do that much. So... cold... everything.. so... futile). This feature is brought to you by the most depressing beverage we could find - Schenley Whiskey*, who reminds you that you may not be able to afford child support, but you can still afford Schenley.

[Photo Courtesy of AP]

I tried to kill myself last night. It was stupid I know. But if you strike out, I'll try again.

Everyone on the team has AIDS. Including you. Except everyone else. You have lots and lots of AIDS.

Do you like candy? Clowns? How bout puppies? Balloons? Oh I got lots of balloons.

You're the father.

In your helmet I've placed four pieces of paper. Written on each is a racist remark I will attribute to you during the post-game conference. Gotta toughen you up. So choose bitch.

I pissed myself dreaming about Vietnam again.

Share your despair in the comments.

*No it isn't.


DCScrap said...

Dude, I fucked your wife.

Rupert Entwistle said...

You're not gonna like this, but you look a lot like Roger Clemens.