Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Talladega . . . Rusty's Nirvana!

TALLADEGA!!!!

I tell ya what, Rusty's more excited than a wide eyed kid on Christmas morn. And why's that? Cause 'Dega's coming!!!! 3 and 4 wide at nearly 190 mph . . . GREAT DAY ALMIGHTY!!!!!

For those of you not "in the know", this is the same Dega that was immortalized in the Will Ferrell classic, Talladega Nights, a movie yours truly had a non-speaking cameo in, but that's a story for a different time. The April race at 'Dega is a scene reminiscent of Mardi Gras. The infield gets packed with over worked blue collar boys just itching to trade in some cheap beads and a few cold Budweiser's for a few seconds of mammary delight! It's a party like no other. Fortunately for everyone involved, Rusty's not going to be present, but only in body . . . he'll be there in spirit.

Amid all the infield debauchery, there's actually a race, and if you ask me, one of the best of the year. Talladega's horsepower zapping restrictor plates (which were enlarged this time around) create a scrum of tightly packed cars clawing and scraping for every inch of real estate. Inevitably, a large crash called "The Big One" ensues, giving every casual fan three seconds of pure joy as the 3000 lb race cars become nothing more than piles of twisted metal.

The die hard fans in true Payne-like fashion, jump up on their coffee tables screaming at their television sets, "DID MARK GET THROUGH? DID MARK GET THROUGH?".

If you've never watched a race, Rusty begs, pleads, implores and hopes to cajole you to watch this coming Sunday. At least watch the last 100 or so laps. It'll sure to be NASCAR at its best. The trick is picking the fantasy team, so be sure to watch for that later this week.

Y'all come back now, hear?

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