Thursday, June 5, 2008

Doc Rivers: To Beat LA, We Must Stop Doc Rivers

Doc's a frickin' genius.

(Boston, MA) When asked who the Celtics must stop in this NBA Finals series against the LA Lakers to achieve victory, Coach Doc Rivers made it perfectly clear the team's game plan revolves around stopping one man and one man only: Coach Doc Rivers.

Rivers elaborated, "It may appear obvious and conventional, but let's be honest, this is a strategy that if properly executed, can give us a championship. Plus [stopping himself] concentrates our efforts on a part of the game we can control exclusively."

Celtics star Paul Pierce agreed with Rivers, saying it was a strategy he personally suggested after speaking with his teammates, team owners, fans, sports columnists and TD BankNorth Garden maintenance crews. "100% unanimous" Pierce said. Rivers appreciated the way Pierce took on such a leadership role among his teammates. "He's a real leader now. I've always said, 'I'm open to anything' and his suggestions certainly fall in that category."

When asked how Rivers would specifically eliminate the person deemed the Celtics' greatest threat, he backed off. "I'm not about to give up any secrets just yet. But I think when you see at least two starters on the court the whole game, you'll know something's different alright. Plus, we'll be winning. Stopping myself will be difficult - as I am known to be both unoriginal and yet unpredictable - but in the end, If we can isolate this one threat, we're gonna beat LA, baby!"

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