Monday, June 9, 2008

I know exactly where the Rockies went wrong

This article got me thinking long and hard about the Colordo Rockies. Long and hard.

Oh yeah...... right there Torrealba.....right where the tan line is....

Wait, what?

Oh right, the Rockies. Anyway, I find it amazing that a team that was one terrible Red Sox series away from winning it all could land farther down in the basement than a storage crate containing the remains of one of Drew Peterson's ex-wives marked 'Old Beer Steins.'

The lineup is essentially the same. The pitching staff is the same. I don't think the subtraction of Kaz Matsui could make that much of a difference unless his anal fissures where like the teams rally monkey.

So what's the difference?

Mojo. Karma. Luck. Things going their way. Call it what you want. Last year, they had it. This year, they don't.

Remember this play?



Did he touch the plate? The call could have gone either way but because of the wave of karma the Rockies were riding it went their way.

So what happened?

This....





Rule #43-ish in sports. Don't piss off the unexplainable occurences that help you win ballgames. The 'Yankee magic', the 'Brett Favre at Lambeau Field', the 'Fat Willard on a shore beer pong table. 'At one point, all automatics in sports. Then someone starts talking about them and they disappear faster than a bathsuit bottom in Queen Latifah's love cushions.

Or worse, the team makes a commercial about it to sell season tickets. Who was their target audience in this spot? Hardcore fans know when seats go on sale. Did they really need to attract casual Rockies fans to buy tickets with anything other than a slogan like 'Real pitching and humid balls-this ain't Dante Bichette's team no more.'

So, let this be a lesson to all sports teams. Don't screw with karma. It will get you in the end. Oh, and Cubbies fans. You are screwed.

2 comments:

Chimpanzee Rage said...

I think it is obvious that Kaz Matsui was the lynchpin of the team. See, he was shooting bottle rockets out of his cornhole a la Steve-O to get those fissures, keepin the locker room all entertained. No Matsui, no bottle rockets, no fun, no winning. Simple!

Sarge said...

What I can't get over is the fact that the Tribe was a game away from sweeping the Rockies as well...