Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pre-Gaming with Craiglist - Clinching a Troph-y

While the Celtics may be tired from the flight, the scumbags, scammers, and sexual predators of craigslist aren't fatigued in the slightest. If you're looking for tickets to the Celts-Lakers game, sometimes you do what you gotta do. And sometimes you're what's getting done.

As always, these are real ads put up by real (probably fake) people.

Only in Boston would someone actually forgo seeing game 6 to watch the Sox play a third place AL East Team. This seller would be better off offering to mow someone's lawn.

wanted: 2 tickets to tonight's game - will do yardwork or anything
Dude - this is craigslist. If in desperation you give someone the option of "anything" OR "yardwork" be prepared for them to ask if you know how to use a leaf-blower. Also be ready for them to say it ain't gonna be used for yardwork. (Trust me on this. And screw you Ryan Leaf).

Anybody feeling generous?
Probably, which is why they are taking their friends, family and not some stranger who probably has meth-teeth.

courtside BLACK SEATS tonight for sale!
Well that's just racist against white people. See - Boston's come so far!

Something about this says post title makes me wonder if this actual fan has ever touched an actual woman with his actual hand.

Alex, I'd like Two Celtics Game 6 Tickets for Two Thousand
This is tough, because you are depending on three things - first that someone named Alex has tickets and second that he (or she) plans to sell them. Thirdly you think people still watch Jeopardy.

Trade DJ services for Celtics tickets to Game 6
Clearly, this was posted by former Celtics great Dennis Johnson, who will come to your driveway and do game-winning layups for 45 minutes. No autographs.

iiiiiiiiii've got tickets, bump bump, bump bump.
I'm going with this being an outright lie. It's probably someone who wants to feel the rush of joy brought from the envy of others. The worst part of this one is no one knows what freaking song that is.

F*ck me for my Celtics tickets
Well OK - we're getting right to the point here. But there's still too much left to the imagination and without a picture of the person with their tickets, this might actually be a scam! The only way to stop people like this is to go to their house, f*ck them, and then NOT take their fake tickets. Ha! Who's the scam artist now!?

If the Celtics Win.....You can F*ck me up the a** ! (NSFW PIC)
That is a level of specificity even I didn't anticipate. And they included a pic, which probably makes OH GOD MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES OH DEAR LORD YOU CAN'T DO IT IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT OH GOD AND WHY IS THAT FACE SMILING THIS IS THE END OF DAYS

Trade 4 Jonas Bros tickets for 4 Celtics tickets Game 6
Oh really? Ummm, I'll trade a brick I found behind my house! How about a burned out bulb or a half-ear of corn my dog regurgitated? Maybe you could just offer up four piles of hot human feces next time?!

Oh someone already did.

Enjoy the clincher everyone!


JC said...

I'm so shocked that this isn't a reality show, it's not even funny.

Mike said...

your best yet chief. thank you for this.

Ariel said...

These could be my most favorite posts ever. Craigslist = societal rejects = fun for hours.

Todd S. said...

Those were great -- would love some DJ services in my driveway.