Wanna go to the Celts/LA game tonight? Wanna not get raped? Then get on craigslist. The Chief taps into the underbelly of the internet and finds how some in Boston are going about buying, selling, or fending off sexual assault.
Will Pay For Tickets To Celtics -
The Chief says: Straight forward and to the point. Saying you'll pay for them is a good strategy. Also might have tried "Will accept Free Tickets to Celtics."
Looking for game 2 tickets celtics-lakers not looking to get raped - $1
Again straight forward but with specific limitations set in place as to the nature of the transaction. I used to think not getting raped was standard operating procedure, but then again, Kobe is in town, so it's probably good to be clear about this.
CELTICS VS LAKERS (I CAN DELIVER TIX) -
A good salesman here - making ease of purchase a hook. Then again, beware the whole rape thing.
2 CELTICS TICKETS FOR GAME 1 TONIGHT GET IT WHILE ITS HERE !! BALCONY (BALCONY !!! BALCONY !!! BALCONY !!!!!)
Location location location. All caps means you are excited and believe what you are saying is urgent, important, and worth knowing. It also may mean you are 7. By the nature of those exclamation points and the spaces in between, I'm thinking a parakeet typed this. Buyer beware.
Keep me in mind when you still have Celtics tickets tonight.
People should just do this anyway. Even though no one will ever know who you are. Unless maybe you are offering something sexy in ret...... Nope. And now I have forgotten about you.
Don't let your Celtics tickets go to waste!!! -
So do not sell or give them to this person.
WANTED Red Sox tonight 605 -
Only in Boston. (this is under a search for Celtics)
need celtics...have stuff to trade...
The lowercase letters, the two ellipses (...) - these are the hallmarks of a desperate person with very low self-esteem. Caution here, as the word "stuff" could be anything from "cool laptop w/ built in cd DVD player/burner" to "Wandering Grandma."
will trade laptop w/built in cd DVD player/burner for 2 celtics tix
What, no grandma? You don't really want these tickets at all, do you?
HA HA HA- Celtics scalpers are crazy!!!
HA HA HA I AM FUCKING RETARDED
WHEN YOU STILL HAVE YOUR CELTICS TICKETS AT 5PM
That means you have not been jumped, raped, or given them away to a friend who all the sudden 'might be dying.' Enjoy the game.