Click here for a look at this week's competitors and an overview of the contest. CAST YOUR VOTE IN THE COMMENTS.
Voting will be tallied at 5 PM EST on Thursday. Remember, winners will return to compete for the title of Iron Ref. If you are interested in competing, drop us a line.This round's secret ingredient:
So what is a cheap shot, really? I mean it's kind of like Justice Potter Stewart's take on pornography - hard to define but "I know it when I see it," right?
And like porn, cheap shots are ubiquitous in our culture. We've all seen them. We've all been on the receiving end of one at least once in our lives. And for me, personally, you might sum up my life by saying, "He's managed to go from cheap shot to cheap shot smiling all the while like some sort of perverse retard" (Without the "retard" bit, of course, because nobody says that anymore.)
But there is one thing all true cheap shots have in common — like the Spanish Inquisition nobody expects it. A good cheap shot should leave you saying, "Holy Mary Mothah of God, where and the frig did that come from?"
Surprising, beguiling, stupefying — that's your cheap shot right there.
And if you want a visual example of what I mean, let me present The Pizza Chucking Guy at Fenway:
No matter how many times I watch that vid, the pizza coming out of the blue like that never fails to bemuse me. Even Rem Dog asks, "Why did he do that?" Why, indeed? Such is the incarnate mystery of the cheap shot.
Nice topic, HHR. Do you get to use special utensils and scissors, and do you still soil yourselves for warmth? I’ve produced better topics on my toilet. After Mexican food.
It’s not just the numbnuts running this. Take a look at my competition -- a Masshole “Cartoonist” with drawing skills that begin and end at cut and paste, and a guy who blogs with one very hairy hand. Don’t believe me? Take a look at their first entries for this circle jerk.
Do I expect to win the sports blogosphere’s answer to the Special Olympics? Of course not. Take a look at the commenting audience. Mongoloids like you all stick together – and cartoons where nothing changes allow you to imagine that you are literate, and You Like Titty MMMM AAAHHHH AAHHHH TITTY TITTY TITTY. It's like I'm in that special high school with you all over again, taking a shop class with people who play Kill The Reader. I've got as much chance getting laid at SportsBloggerCon as I do of winning this little timewaste.
Fine, whatever, the topic. It's so last century, along with concepts of honor, justifiable war, and a God that doesn't inflict multiple Bahston champions on us like Egyptian plagues. We live in a time when the Celtics win with a stolen superstar (beating the Lakers and their stolen superstar), the Red Sox win with other team's free agents and their MLB+ Japanese Bidder Market, and the Patriots were a miracle play or two away from perfection while employing Rodney Harrison, cheating, and sodomizing abducted Third World children at the bus station (allegedly).
So look deep into your tiny little hearts, Blogfrica. Drink low and slow of my sweet hate meat. Savor the bitterness, anger and willingness to go dirty on total strangers from a guy with a blog that’s going to get crushed, because his opponents have Comic and Titty Traffic. I couldn’t give less of a crap.
Because no matter who wins this thing, I've taken a nice satisfying whiz into my opponent's posts, and there ain’t no such thing as a winner who drinks piss. Check and mate, mofo’s.
Thank you, good night, and blow me.
WORLD OF ISAAC
Is this really even a competition?
I mean, we got DMT, who, let's be honest here, will more than likely pump out a Top 10 List for this thing. I can see it now.
Top Ten Cheap Shots Of All-Time
10. Pete Rose running over Ray Fosse in the All-Star Game
9. Albert Haynesworth stomping on a Cowboys head
blah blah blah
Come on, am not too far off am I DMT? Boring I tell ya...
And while I am not familiar with the work of Soxaholix, I can't imagine anything or anybody from Boston pumping out something intelligent.
I mean, am I mistaken or is this the same city that produced the intellectual genius of Jonathon Papelbon.
Well, lets hope for Soxaholix's case, he bows out of this competition before I post that stupid Papelbon riverdance.
Hell, that wouldn't even be fair. That'd be like kicking a man while he's down. That'd be like trying to take out a teams star player in the Eastern Conference Finals....
Oh yeah, I forgot about that little bitch Larry Bird. Couldn't even take a CLEAN, HARD FOUL. Had to be a sissy about it and throw the ball after 10 dudes were between him and Laimbeer.
And when the going got real tough, he called in his boy, Robert Parish to do his dirty work.
So Soxholix, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you come from a city with a bunch of pussies. I'm sorry you come from a city where a guy can't even get through two sentences of Spanish without looking like a buffoon. I'm sorry that your most famous athlete is "The Hick from French Lick".
Ok, but lets get back on point.....what was this post supposed to be about anyways?
Oh yeah, cheap shots....
Wow - that was... angry doesn't seem like the right word, but let's just say 'unprovoked rabididy.' I'm pretty sure I just made up that word.
Voting begins in the comments.... NOW