Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Footy Matt's Premier League Preview – Part II: Chelsea

Today's preview: CHELSEA

Imagine you support a mediocre team. Average as can be. Never the worst, never the best. All in all, your team is just there, year in and year out. Then imagine your team is visited by a very special Fairy Russian Oil Tycoon Oligarch that buys your club, invests his billions and cherry picks all the best players in the world. Suddendly, you win two League titles back to back! Sound good? That is what happened to Chelsea. Also know as Chelski, the self-proclaimed 'Richest Club in the World'.

This season Chelski boast a typical plethora of talent. Drogba, Lampard, Essien, and new signing, Deco. Plenty enough to go deep in the Champions League, and in my opinion, win the Premiership. The big factor this season will be the introduction of new Coach, Luiz Felipe Scolari aka BIG PHIL. You name it, Big Phil coached a team that won it. World Cup? Check. Copa Sul-Minas? Check. Copa Liberartadores? Check. Your College Soccer Intramurals? Check.

Prediction: With Big Phil at the helm, the Chelski will hold of the rest of the Big 4 and reaffirm what we knew all along – that they are a bunch of wankers with tons of money. Expect the Premier League crown back to the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea in 2009.

More than you needed to know:


Name:
Chelsea Football Club

Nickname: The Blues

Founded: 1905

Owners:
Roman Abramovich

Manager:
Big Phil Scolari

American-esque equivalent: Philadelphia Phillies. The Phillies have been around since the beginning, have a history and a loyal following, like Chelsea. They have only won one Championship, much like pre-billionaire Chelsea in 2003. Now, all the Phillies need is a sketchy KBG-linked Russian Oligarch to take them over and use them as his real-life fantasy team – and presto – back to back World Series wins!

Look-a-Like winners:

Joe Cole & the dude from Prison Break

OR

Petr Cech & Lego Guard


Tomorrow preview: ARSENAL

1 comment:

talleywhackers said...

I would say Chelsea is more like the Dallas Mavs, except, you know, DIRK CHOKES.

And Roman < Cuban in terms of fun.