Wednesday, October 1, 2008

PreGaming with Craigslist: Phillies/Brewers

People in two miserable cities are getting ready for the NLDS. But checking on Craigslist, you wouldn't know it. There's a game in Philly tonight, and by the looks of it... ugh. I can't lie - Philly seems completely unexcited about Game 1. Even in the seediest of seedy places on Craigslist you can barely find a mention of the game. No one could muster a simple "let's watch the phils and phuck?" Really? Philadelphia, I'm a little disappointed in you. Let's see what we got instead:

Please, please, please, I need Phillies tickets for Game 1
Desperation will get you everywhere. But it will not get you into Citizens Bank Park - because 43,647 other desperate people already have tickets.

I want your Phillies Playoff Tickets BUYING
This person is not only very clear and direct, but if you click through you'll find a unique strategy to ward off con artists and scams. Simply put they say they are "not an idiot." Well then, mr. not-an-idiot, good luck on your strategy to "pay over face value" and... oh wait. Now I get it. This person is obviously a cop. Might as well say, "Are you a scalper? May I make an illegal transaction with you?" NARC! NARC! NARC!


Phillies today... I need a miracle!
I think it's cool that Pat Burrell uses craigslist

Wow- Great seats for the NLDS

This is the most half hearted wow in the history of wows.

1 Ticket to Kennett Brewfest
I'm not sure excactly what this is. So based on information I made up, I've found out that it is the backyard of some dude named Kennett who rented a projector and is gonna put the game on a sheet in his backyard. Only the HD projector will never work right, people will miss the first 3 innings of the game being polite and drinking Kennett's beer, and then leave to go to a bar that is way too crowded b/c it's the damn 4th inning. After not getting served at the bar for 45 minutes, everyone will split off in different directions, some just going home or listening to the game in their car. At least one person will stay at Kennett's and it will be the idiot who buys this ticket. The End.

$1,000 takes all 4 Game 2 Phillies "DIAMOND CLUB" Tickets
You can read this any number of ways, but the one thing that doesn't change is DIAMOND CLUB has has has has has to be a strip club. Is the Diamond Club attached to Citizen's Bank park? Because that would just be the greatest thing ever. Right there is the difference between making a place family friendly vs. fan friendly.

Great Coldplay Tickets at 15% off - $125
There is no such thing as a great Coldplay ticket. These two things are mutually exclusive. If someone offered me this I would smack them 15% harder for their insolence.


So.. yeah. Philadelphians... you kind of have to man up. Craigslist is the lens to your city and your city is yawning, people.

Take a look at how the world class citizenry of Milawaukee gets ready:

GET LAID TODAY BEFORE THE BREWERS GAME

Now that's more like it. Enjoy the game people.

2 comments:

Ariel said...

I got hit on by a lesbian at the Kennett Brewfest. Fun times.

Gonzo said...

haha awesome stuff dude.