Yesterday, Clarissa Andorfer-Lopez pinch ran in helping 5th seed Arizona State overcome UCLA in their Women's College World Series match up. The win puts the Sun Devils one win away from the WCWS best-of-3 championship series.

These are David Wright's friends? I guess you have to take whatever English speaking companionship you can find around Shea. Together they enjoy sand art, t-ball and roughhousing.

Who says these awkward, sheltered spelling bee kids don't have personalities?

When Jahnavi Iyer, a 14-year-old from Enola, Pa., was stuck on "solidungulate," she asked for the language of origin, the definition and the pronunciations, as most competitors do. Stumped, she finally asked "for an easier word."

The judges laughed out loud.

And then there's champion Sameer Mishra:



Well played, Mishra. Well played. Give our best to EA.

• Red Sox baptism father speaks out (Red Sox Monster)
• The Ultimate Combo (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Jonny Gomes is a crazy bitch (Rays Index)
• Why you shouldn't run onto the field at Fenway (AA)
• Red Auerbach was a total pimp (With Leather)
  

Today on Gem Mint Ten

• Fan Friday
• The Dick Drago All-Stars

You might remember on draft day 2007 seeing Wisconsin lineman (and soon to be Cleveland Brown) Joe Thomas fishing on Lake Michigan. Prepare to see more of that citizens of Ohio.

From Don Walker at the Badgers Blog:

Former University of Wisconsin football star Joe Thomas is a TV star, too.

Thomas, an offensive lineman in his second year with the Cleveland Browns, will be co-hosting "Outdoors Ohio with D'Arcy Egan and Joe Thomas" on SportsTime Ohio. Egan is the outdoors writer for the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

But producers should beware of mixing Thomas and gun owners...

Happy Friday. You're Welcome.


From Shoretalken.com:

Tommy Cheeseballs Has 2255 Friends On MySpace And Is Still Raging In Seaside Heights. You Got A Problem With That?

See Also: Separated at Birth: Time Share Edition

We were alerted to some sad news last night by Illuminati at phillyBurbs' Third I about the passing of an HHR icon - Harvey Corman, better known around these parts as Hedley Lamarr.

We so loved Lamarr's tenacity that we were pushing him to be Gov. William J. LePetomane's running mate for the 2008 Presidential election.

Click the tee to show your love.

Rest in peace, Count DaMoney.

See Illuminati's tribute here.

Meet HHR's favorite college softball player - Clarissa Andorfer-Lopez.

A smart, salsa-dancing, God-fearing Sun Devil. Bless her heart.

Image: Phillymag.com

Just don't mention his insanity to him or he'll coldcock you.

Former Phillies catcher Darren Daulton was on ESPN with Mike Missanelli this afternoon. What started as a conversation about his baseball camp and coaching aspirations naturally turned to the '93 Phillies and, finally, his belief in metaphysics.

The segment is priceless. I have visions of Tom Cruise lecturing glib Matt Lauer.

At 6:03 p.m., the anointed triple-crown winner Big Brown dispersed of a large bowel
movement that created quite a stir in the paddock.

The natural fertilizer had a firm consistency with traces of oats and carrots.

"Next to my kid being born, I have never seen something so amazing" said eye witness Craig Nolan. "I have been on my share of hay rides and I have never seen a horse dominate like that."

Expert scatologist, Blake Tripplehorn III, remarked after seeing pictures of the event, "from what I have seen, I don't see how anyone can beat Big Brown next weekend with that display." Tripplehorn received an honorary degree in Scatology from an off campus program at The Ohio State University

The scat was unable to be sent to the lab for further testing because onlookers jumped the gate to snatch up the droppings for a fresh souvenier. Even trainer Rick Dutrow was unable to get a piece for his collection as he was preoccupied by a fan's video camera that he mistook for a TV crew.

The bowel movement adds to a busy week for Big Brown who already jogged on the race track on Tuesday and stood through a, what will sure be a grounbreaking, piece by Kenny Mayne.

The final leg of the triple crown will still be held on June 7.

• Julian Tavarez Loses World Series Ring (Red Sox Monster)
• The MLB Story of the Year Gets Its Due: Hamilton Hits SI Cover (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Violent Kickballers (The Steady Burn)
• Picking on Bobby and The Bat (The 700 Level)
• Best College Football Schedule Idea Ever (Poon of SEC)
  
• Sports Illustrated, Rubbing It In (Waiting For Next Year)
  
• Joe Chat Last Week (Fire Joe Morgan)

Why me?

Today at Gem Mint Ten:

• Fan Feedback
• Mr. Meyer's Neighborhood

To: Members of the Sports Media
From: The Chief at HHR

Re: That Whole "Blogging in the Basement" Obsession.

Colleagues - the current and oft-repeated reference of bloggers inhabiting their mother's basement has been incorrectly applied to sports bloggers. While some may live at home - perhaps typing from the basement - those bloggers are probably in high school, so for that they should be forgiven their circumstance. For the rest, the evidence is overwhelming, and the narrative used in interviews when your opinion (or career, or medium) is challenged by a lowly sports blogger must be augmented to reflect the findings. Sports bloggers are not introverts in a basement. Sports bloggers are fucking drunks.

More pointedly sports bloggers are self-identified fucking drugs. In fact, they routinely tout their ability (or desire) to drink on the job or glorify their own recreational substance abuse. They are not secluded in a windowless room giggling like little girls, but it appears they are AT BARS, DRINKING HEAVILY, and in some instances almost-winning contests to go to a Superbowl with a rack-tastic chick. Disturbingly, while this kind of behavior might get a 'real journalist' suspended, these bloggers are managing to publish books, and work at mainstream american newspapers (well that one not so much anymore - why? You Guessed it - he was DRINKING 3 YEARS AGO!). Sports bloggers are drinking even when making impassioned, well reasoned arguments for media legitimacy. Some have even gone as far as discussing the best meals to eat when drunk.

With this new mountain of evidence, the narrative must be recalibrated to show everyone who these people really are. They are not in their basements, and they are no "friends of Bill." They are out getting hammered and meeting hot chicks at Maxim Hot 100 parties. Dicks!

In conclusion, these jerks never had to go through the crucible of working at a major daily to earn the right to spew conventional and often uninformed opinions to the masses. But in order to protect what you have won, you must adapt to modern day battle tactics. While sports bloggers have laid claim to drinking too much, it is not too late to seize uncontested ground! Consider sniffing copius amounts of wood glue, or developing a raging meth habit as a way of 'out-blogging' the bloggers. In an alleyway fight, who is more likely to be victorious - an amped up meth-head or a passed out drunk? Exactly. You can beat them at their own game. You can be that meth-head.

Sincerely,

The Chief.

On the heels of the news that Charles Barkley just settled his $400K debt with the Maloofs, Sports Illustrated ran a piece on him in their SI Players section this week titled "The Escape Artist," which profiles how he "continues to emerge unscathed from the kind of controversies...that would deal death blows to the images of most public figures."

While omitting the 1991 "spitting incident," the piece notes his reference to Conservatives as "fake Christians," his description of Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton as "race-baiters," his telling a reporter "This is why I hate white people," the categorization of the Washington Wizards as the "dumbest team in the history of civilization," the time he put a dude through a plate glass window, and, naturally, the aforementioned gambling debt.

The closest the author gets to explaining Sir Charles' "handy Teflon coating" is simply his "wit and refreshing candor", his disarming honesty, and his unwillingness to "back away from inflammatory comments by claiming he thought they were off the record."

The piece notes, "Even though all around him broadcasters are taking career hits for saying the wrong thing -- just ask Rush Limbaugh, Don Imus and The Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman, to name a few -- Barkley continues to thrive."

Limbaugh and Imus have made careers off of their wit and candor. Yet, their paths were veered off course by their infamous one-time, on-air gaffes for which they were canned and condemned. Tilghman was splashed across cable and the internet, called upon to be fired (by, among others, Sharpton) and went on a public apology tour.

But why not Chuck?

SI calls this double standard the "...Charles standard, reserved for public figures who have the courage to say what they think, the integrity to stand behind it, the humility to freely admit their mistakes, and perhaps most importantly the sense of humor to make it all palatable to the public. At the moment, that club appears to have only one member."

His inflammatory comments, while humorous, are more or less as offensive as anyone's. And yet, his unapologetic attitude for them is seen as a positive, if not refreshing, trait.

Is Charles that disarming or is it the color of his "handy Teflon coating" that makes him different? Maybe the media is simply afraid to call out a large black man, out of fear of their own condemnation.

She deserves a hug.
(Click the first link for more of that mess.)

• Just your typical Tuesday night at The Bank (The Fightins')
• Why do baseball umpires wear uniform numbers? (Wicked Good Sports)
• Players Club freelancers to Lenny Dykstra: Dude??!! (Phils-ville)
• Today's stabbing is brought to you by a mustachioed Raiders fan (Shutdown Corner)
• James Posey inspires Cheap Trick lyrics (LOL Jocks)
• State Trooper Giambi makes triumphant return (The Sports Hernia)
• The 10 Hottest Pro Athlete Daughters - With Video! (All Balls)

Today at Gem Mint Ten:

• Caliente!

[A]nd McClellan has harsh words for many of his past colleagues. He accuses former White House adviser Karl Rove of misleading him about his role in the CIA case. He describes Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as being deft at deflecting blame, and he calls Vice President Cheney "the magic man" who steered policy behind the scenes while leaving no fingerprints. – The Washington Post (5.28.08)

Leave it to the fat guy to write a blog about ballpark food.

Gourmet Lunches at Baseball Stadiums in Japan

No wonder the Japanese fans are always so quiet. They are too busy eating good food. Meanwhile Americans are stuck with hot dogs that double as dog treats and beer that gets more water then the infield grass. They even take the time to add a garnish. I have to drop it on the ground to get anything extra.

I wouldn't be so bitter if I didn't have to sell a lung to afford to eat at a game. Who am I kidding, I am always bitter.

At least American players fight better.

Former Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnacle thinks that you bloggers are nothing but "nitwits at home with computers" who think you're "part of the news media." Washington Post editorial writer Jonathan Capehart later agreed with his assessment.

Well, in a sense I'm glad to see that it's not just the sports reporting oldheads that feel that way.



UPDATE: the chief points out that Barnacle knows a thing or two about "sloppy" and "lazy" journalism, having been fired by The Boston Globe for plagiarism almost 10 years ago:

Just a week after fending off demands that he resign amid charges of plagiarism, Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnicle quit Wednesday as questions were being raised about two more of his columns...

The contrite columnist admitted at a news conference that he had been "sloppy" and "lazy" in writing the column with the Carlin jokes but maintained that he was not guilty of plagiarism. He said he hadn't read the Carlin book, although he had recommended it to viewers during an appearance on a Boston TV station.

the chief notes, that "You're not a member of the news media until you've been busted for plagiarizing, like some sort of secret handshake." (He wouldn't know, because he's in the basement on his little computers).

Barnacle vs. Libeling

Reggie Love gets mad... uh.. Love. (The Big Lead)
Kobe Bryant, faithful husband starting... NOW.... ok... NOW.... how about... NOW. This is hard (100% Injury Rate)
Ryan Howard - calling on reporters with his baby arm. (Deadspin)
Larry the Cable Guy and Dan Marino lose plenty of pounds, respect. (Shutdown Corner)
Reggie Bush is not laughing. (The Sports Point)

Today at Gem Mint Ten:
- Kimbo Slice was a Brewer

Math is hard. Hooray for Pictures!


Via The Sports Guy




Via With Leather

Via Awful Announcing

inspired by this rap graph thing. awesome.

Please extend a warm hug to TheFightins.com, the new Phillie-centric brainchild of HHR friends meech.one (formerly of Bugs & Cranks) and Fortress of Pillows' Chamomiles Davis.

Bappi di buppi?

Love this commercial. And while I am not a huge soccer fan, the sport is slowly growing on me thanks to Univision's coverage. The Euro Championships could seal the deal.

Who is that peeking over Carlos Lee's right shoulder with the Phillies hat on?

Someone at the CW Philly was looking to provoke a Miguel Tejada walk-out during the Phillies-Astros broadcast as they flashed up a graphic today noting it is Miggy's 34th birthday. You got that? 34. 3-4.

Sarge and Harry didn't even hint at what was on the screen. Not a word. Lucky for them. Hell hath no furry like Tejada scorned.

ESPN ran a piece coinciding with Memorial Day Weekend on the passing of soldier/hero PFC Nick Madaras and his subsequent legacy. (For his full story, click here).

We often take for granted the lives and deaths of our servicemen & women. We use them as (forgive the expression) political soccer balls. Kicking back and forth to suit our political views on such issues as foreign policy and war - on both sides of the arguments

More so, many fail to recognize the impact US soldiers have in the far-off lands they are fighting.

Well done on the part of ESPN for telling PFC Madaras' story and for promoting the "Kick for Nick" campaign.

I can't do the story any justice, so I encourage you to check it out for yourself and to make a donation to the cause:



Please support the program by clicking here.

Thanks to Awesomeology.

What happens if you don't train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins? You become a vegetable at the hands of God.

So says Hulk Hogan.

While crash victim John Graziano lies in a permanent vegetative state in a hospital with a hole in his head, Hulk Hogan says that God laid some "heavy s**t"on him because of things that he was "into." Nick agrees, saying John was a "negative person."

What was the kid into? Drugs? Like which kind? The bad kind, like cocaine, which ruins your life or the good kind, like painkillers and steriods, that make you a national icon?

If only poor John were more positive. He could have encouraged Nick to drive a little faster, win the illegal street race, and avoid the accident that ruined his life.

Hogan has something else to thank God for; the Internet came well after his wrestling heyday because it would be impossible to make Hogan 'a face' when it would have to be attached to his drug-taking, wife cheating, cradle-robbing, saggy-titted body.

Dig it, brother.

• Brand New Form Of Child Abuse (The Money Shot)
• Hot Chicks with Lord Stanley (The World of Isaac)
• ESPN First Take Tackles Huge Philisophical Question: Bears (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• NHL Seizes The Moment While Hockey And Soccer Abroad Grab The Spotlight… (Sports Marketing & PR Roundup)
• Any Opportunity to Promote "Timeshare Tommy" is an Opportunity We'll Jump at (The 700 Level)
• Dear John Paxon (SimononSports via Epic Carnival)
• Is the MSM Really That Different From Blogs? (Sportaphile)
  

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• Foghat, Spectrum, 1976

Happy Memorial Day weekend. Remember our fallen heroes and thank a serviceman or woman this weekend.

Yesterday, we were ecstatic to hear about the St. Paul Saints' clever upcoming promotion, the Larry Craig Bobblefoot giveaway.

Unfortunately, just as this promotion was born, we got wind (albeit late) that another passed away. We decided that this would be a good time to check the status of the Macon Music "Eliot Spitzer Night" scheduled for June 13, only to learn that it died a silent death back in March.

The team’s website poll results show that 55% of fans voting were in favor of canceling the event. Another poll featured on the Macon Telegraph’s website had similar results.

The Music team wanted to give its fans the chance to voice their opinion on a promotion that has caused quite a stir. The local fans support is very important and with that in mind, the team respectfully has canceled the event.

We applaud the Saints for their innovative and media-grabbing promotion and the effort by the Music to be equally creative. But we understand while some people would be uncomfortable with the idea(s).

We do, however, still offer our deal to Music fans.

HHR will offer a free weekly guest post throughout the Music's season to recap Macon games on our site to any fan who send us a picture of themselves wearing our Spitzer #9 baseball jersey at Luther Williams Field.

Click Here to Order!

Photo: mlb.com

Or: How do I know you're gay? Because two hipsters insinuated so.

I'm not, nor have I ever been a fan, of Mike Piazza. But I've never hated the guy either, nor have I ever put much credence or thought into the rumors that have followed him throughout his career regarding his sexuality.

Another thing I've never been is a fan of is hippy jam sessions. Foolishly, I purchased the Juno soundtrack a few months back, if for nothing else than the Mott the Hoople track, which, until the purchase, I only had on vinyl.

I really hadn't listened to it until yesterday. Not knowing the song or artist I was actually listening to, I heard the words:

San Francisco’s calling us, the Giants and Mets will play
Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?

My immediate reaction was "WTF was that?"

I look down at my iPod and see a song titled "Piazza, New York Catcher" by some duo calling themselves Belle & Sebastian.

My second thought is, "Why is this guy so hated?"

Sure he had Elton John's arm and Freddie Mercury's 'stache, but he hit as well as any catcher who ever played.

He was a Rookie of the Year, 12-time All-Star and 10-time Silver Slugger. What fan wouldn't want him on their team? There is no argument on whether or not he is a Hall of Famer. And the real debate shouldn't be on what hat he should wear, but rather why his sexuality now outweighs his performance as the greatest hitting catcher who ever played.

The joke's so old that it's not even funny anymore.

Paul Lukas, a writer who we greatly enjoy, posted an article on ESPN this week titled "Good riddance, Mike Piazza," primarily citing Piazza's selfishness and failure to advocate for gay rights.

Mike Piazza is a baseball player who did what he was paid to do by organizations willing to pay him for his services as a catcher. Simple supply and demand. He offered his goods and teams paid for his services. How is that different than any other athlete? That's all they are - commodities. Maybe some of us would like them to be social advocates or more team-minded, but for a "career" that spans (in Piazza's case) only 15-years, why should we ask or expect more out of them? Would Piazza have done anything different for the fans he played for especially now when they are so quick to brush him away? Why would or should any of them?

We should judge our athletes on what they do on the field, and we have a right to criticize them for what they do off of it. Ultimately, fan opinion will shape athletes' legacies. Whether they be Pete Rose and Jose Canseco or Mike Piazza. Unfortunately, Rose and Canseco's on-field accomplishments are greatly overshadowed by their extra-curricular shenanigans. Piazza deserves better. Because, really, his off-field shenanigans don't even exist. Yet, they are the first thing online pundits point to.

Yesterday some readers tipped us off on some fantastic tennis sites that we wanted to share.

The first is dedicated to players going off on the man in the lifeguard chair, "TheUmpIsAlwaysRight.com."

We give you the great Maria Sharapova in all her grunting and cursing glory...



The second echoes what we talked about yesterday with tennis embracing online technology. Recently, HHR signed up for Twitter, after hearing raves about it from friends of ours that are users. While we ourselves are still getting used to its usage, tennis fans have taken it to a new and likely unprecedented level with Twennis.com which is "aggregating all the conversations by Twitter-ers talking about Tennis" according to reader Julia Roy.

For those of you unaware of what Twitter is, it is essentially a mini blog, in which users can send and receive mini updates via web-messaging or phone based-texting services.

This week's The Sporting News pointed out that Jazz PG Deron Williams has his own Twitter feed, in which he can give fans bite-sized updates rather than sit and compile full-length blog posts.

In addition to HHR, some other sports blogs such as Sportaphile, NESW , Signal to Noise, The Jets Blog and The 700 Level have their own feeds to keep on-the-go readers up to date.

Again, it's refreshing to see Tennis out in front on mobilizing and allowing interaction among fans. Hopefully more sports, and athletes for that matter, will follow.

This gradual evolution of organized sports into glorified games of patty-cake has to end.

In a District All-Star game when I was 14 years old, I watched the center fielder for the opposing team drift towards the fence tracking a towering fly ball, turn back at the last minute, and smash choppers first into a metal fence. There was nothing anyone could do to avoid that situation. There will always be danger involved in sports, whether it's with an aluminum bat, wooden bat, or a swimming noodle.

At least some people understand that games and competition are important to young adults.

This year marks the 52nd anniversary of the Bucks County, Pa Soap Box Derby.

I am sure there are rules and regulations and safety precautions involved, but at its core is kids in a box on wheels racing down steep hills at decent rates of speed.

“It's just a lot of fun for everyone involved,” spokesman Ed Preston said. “It's a great way to spend so much time with your kids and it's so enjoyable.”

Isn't that what sports are about? Kids having fun?

All sports involve some level of danger. Kids will get hurt. You can only teach proper safety and technique and hope for the best outcome. The more you change the rules, take away the competition, and litter the field with pillows and packing peanuts for optimal safety conditions, the more it will turn them off sports. And doesn't anyone ever notice the most popular sports video games are the ones that would involve the most danger in real life? That can't be coincidence.

Good luck and safe racing to all the competitors this weekend. Just a word of warning to the kids involved though; don't take any unneccesary risks and for God's sake don't make it seem like you are having too much fun. Someone will catch wind of it and next year you'll be sitting on a stool in the street and imagining yourself racing.

• Top 10 Views You Wont Hear About Jason Taylor & the Phins (Five Tool Tool via Epic Carnival)
• Cris Carter Phone Convo With Leitch (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
• The Mets Suck (Bugs & Cranks)
• If Indiana Jones Characters Were MLBers (The Big Picture)
• On the DL talks to Glen Macnow (On the DL)

Today at Gem Mint Ten:

• GMT Hall of Fame Inductee: Rance Mulliniks

Pure genius.

The first 2500 fans attending the St. Paul Saints' game against the Fort Worth Cats, May 25 will received one of these collector's pieces commemorating Sen. Larry Craig's run-in with an officer at the Minneapolis-St.Paul airport last year.

AP Photo

Coincidentally, the Saints' schedule lists the 25th as "Day of the Week Sponsor: Underwater Adventures Family Sunday. Kids run the bases and get autographs from Saints players!"

Nice.

Fellow BallHyper apalmer7 passed along a tip noting that TennisChannel.com is offering (free?) live streaming of the French Open from May 25-June 8.

Some of you may have caught Blogging Ambassador Will Leitch's article in the April 2008 issue of Fast Company Magazine, "MLB's Digital Dominance." The article highlighted the success of MLB Advanced Media and its overall impact on the sport's bottom line.

A side bar in the print issue looked at the steps taken by each of the "big four" (baseball, football, hoops & hockey) to integrate online technology into their overall business strategies.

With that in mind, the TennisChannel's online foray is a great step for any sport, namely the minor/individual ones who clamor for the exposure of an MLB or NFL. Continued exploration into online media can not only help boost the sport's revenue, but also help expand its fan base, with seemingly little risk.

My first impression on such advancement was when contributer Rusty had us over a few years ago for the Daytona 500 and had his lap top (via NASCAR.com, I believe) tuned in to Dale Jr.'s pitcrew/car communications. To me - a non-NASACR fan - this was amazing. It held me captivated for hours. The following week when I tried watching a race on my own. I made it about 5 minutes until I had to shut'er down.

Will the TennisChannel's streaming make me an overnight tennis fan? Unlikely. But it provides fans additional access to matches and might pull in an extra few casual fans to catch some action. For sports nuts stuck in cubicals all day, who wouldn't give it a shot?

Sarge Matthews is the gift that keeps on giving for Phillies Phans and bloggers alike (even if they take our RedLasso away).

Via Patrick @ phillyBurbs:

Interesting interview that makes me even more inclined to check out the flick. Tyson's seemingly come a long way.

Cannes: A Q&A with Mike Tyson and James Toback

Scott Dickert via itausa.com

We'll admit, A Shot At Love II is an absolute trainwreck. One that we just can't turn away from.

First we noted that contestant Bo Kunkle from Ohio was a high school football coach. He proceeded to get headbutted and snuck in the jaw.

We since decided to pull for fellow Garden Stater and former college softball standout/coach Lisa Rizzo. Rizzo then went on to call Tila "fake." While this is probably dead-on accurate, she may have punched her ticket out of the house.

So today we look at another former athlete/coach vying for a shot at Tila's love.

A few weeks back, the Green Bay Press Gazette alluded that contestant "Scotty" is likely Scott Dickert, a former University of Wisconsin-Green Bay tennis player.

Dickert is listed on the UWGB Tennis website as a Student Assistant to the team.

While "Dickert has no comment on whether or not that's him on the show," the resemblance is remarkable.


Regardless, we're still pulling for Rizzo.

Photo: NHRA

The Sporting News: Humpy Wheeler announced his retirement as president and general manager of Lowe's Motor Speedway on Wednesday, ending a 33-year career as one of NASCAR's top promoters.

Did Humpy Wheeler get his name from Dubya like Cooter Burger?

Apparently, the Phins are still not over the fact Taylor's been shakin' his ass with Edyta.

Image: The Sports Hernia

Ties Between Dolphins, Jason Taylor All But Severed

The feud between Jason Taylor and the Miami Dolphins intensified Wednesday, when coach Tony Sparano said the Pro Bowl defensive end isn't expected to take part in any team activities through training camp.

The article describes said feud as "For weeks the new Dolphins regime, led by Bill Parcells, has fumed while Taylor spent his offseason focused on a budding Hollywood career rather than back in South Florida working out with teammates."

Said Sporano: "I'm glad we know this. We've gotten the information, and that's important." Apparently the "information" is that Taylor will attend neither mini-camps nor training camp.

"That being said, we need to discuss the current players on our team right now that have been busting their butt for nine weeks here."

• What's the going rate for hugs?
  
  

According to Get Fuzzy it's $4.75. Unless you are a global media company. Then it will cost you roughly $5 million. (Thanks to our friend Bosis for the comic)

Jim Leyland unleashes F-Bomb tirade (World of Isaac)

Remember, Mike Piazza was not gay (Phils-ville)

Carl Crawford is not intimidated by Derek Jeter's machismo (Rays Index)

The Brewers are throwing Darts for Starts (My Sports Rumors)

Welcome our new friend Lisa Rizzo

Joba continues to disgrace the game (The Sports Hernia)

Today at GMT

Pretty Boys

Christ, even MLB can't figure out what to call this team, nonetheless market them.

From shop.mlb.com, get your "American League Angels" beach towel for only $24.99.

"I will not abide by your cruddy rules."

Yesterday, the Associated Press reported that "the family of a boy who suffered brain damage after he was struck by a line drive off an aluminum baseball bat sued the bat's maker and others on Monday, saying they should have known it was dangerous." The others named in the suit are Little League Baseball and Sports Authority.

The family of Steven Domalewski, who was 12 when he was struck by the ball in 2006, filed the lawsuit in state Superior Court. It names Hillerich & Bradsby Co., maker of the 31-inch, 19-ounce Louisville Slugger TPX Platinum bat used when Steven was hit.

Steven was pitching in a Police Athletic League game when he was hit just above the heart by a line drive. His heart stopped beating and his brain was deprived of oxygen for 15 to 20 minutes, according to his doctors.

Although he was not playing in a Little League game, the organization is being sued because it gave its seal of approval to the bat, certifying it as safe for use by children, [family attorney Ernest] Fronzuto said.

Said Fronzuto: "People who have children in youth sports are excited about the lawsuit from a public policy standpoint because they hope it can make the sport safer. There are also those who are skeptical of the lawsuit and don't see the connection between Steven's injury and the aluminum bat."

Shari Roan of the LA Times later took a look at the issue noting "some people say a ball comes off an aluminum bat with more force than off a wooden bat, making aluminum bats unsafe for kids. The issue has gained traction in some city councils and state legislatures. New York City last year banned metal bats from use in high school baseball games. And a bill is before the Illinois state legislature that would make it illegal for any adult to knowingly allow the use of an aluminum bat during a recreational baseball or softball game in which a person under age 13 is a participant."

Roan points out studies by the Youth Committee of USA Baseball, of which Little League International is a member, and the national Consumer Product Safety Commission which each concluded that "there is no evidence that aluminum bats pose a greater safety risk than wooden bats."

Interestingly, in my opinion at least, is no mention of the death of Rockies' Minor League coach Mike Coolbaugh, who last season died while struck by a batter ball when coaching first base. Obviously, the death was caused by the use of a wooden bat.

While there is great sympathy for the Domalewski family, where do you draw the line? Short of having pre-teens donning full catching gear in the field, or wrapping them completely in bubble wrap, what can really be done to prevent such random, freak accidents? Little League Whiffle Ball?

Card via Newsday.com

Our buddy Yanni shot out an email yesterday with an interesting article on John Feinstein's new book "Living on the Black: Two Pitchers, Two Teams, One Season to Remember," on Moose and Glavine's 2007 season.

What ensued was the email recipients launching into a debate on Mussina's Hall credentials as prompted by Portly Jay's comment: "I'm going to read through this email more thoroughly, but for the time being, all I've read is the part about Mussina being a Hall of Famer. As I've said from the beginning of this argument for Mussina, you've gotta draw the line somewhere. Otherwise, Tommy Greene is on-deck, right Ren?"

Let's take a look at some of the chatter. Bear in mind that this was before Moose got shellacked and knocked out in the first inning by the O's last night. POrtly Jay almost seems a soothsayer.

Yanni:

Lets face it - he lacks those intangibles. Never won 20. Never threw a no-hitter. Never won a Cy Young Award. Never won a World Series.

If i had to build a narrative for moose's induction - I would have to stress the period in which he pitched (steriods, hgh, the lowering of the mound, the trend toward smaller parks - all of which greatly benefit the hitter).

The problem we run into there though is that his peers Clemens, Maddox, Glavine, Johnson, all have those intangibles mentioned earlier.

The other big problem here, is that there are guys ahead of him ( i.e. Blylevin, Tommy John, and Jim Kaat) in the 285-295 win range and are not in the Hall.

Moose is 39 years old. He has 256 wins. Our best bet is to just hope he can continue on in the mold of a Jaime Moyer or a Kenny Rogers or even a David Wells and pitch until his mid-40s. If he can grow as a finesse pitcher and continue changing speeds and relying on good location and getting good run support - who knows, maybe he can go on another 3 or 4 years and reach
300. Stranger things have happened.

If he ever gets there or not, he is my favorite player. He is one of the few good guys left in the game. When he is on, watching him pitch is like watching a fine artist paint the corners. its all about changing speeds and location. I cant wait to watch him go tonight against the Orioles.

Dino:

Wow! All of a sudden the steroid era didn't help the pitchers out! That's a crazy, absurd argument!!! The lowering of the mound does actually hurt pitchers, as much as anything. That's the reason why it's a disadvantage to face a 6'10"" guy like Randy Johnson. All the new ballparks as well that were favorable to hitters. He won 19 in a strike season of 1994. Hence, he would have won his 20 games. He played for a bad team for several years. Tom Glavine played for the best team in baseball for those same years...the argument's not Glavine vs. Mussina, but i'm just saying as a standalone pitcher, the guy deserves it in this modern era of baseball. Stupid relievers like Dennis Eckersley (a starter half his career) and Rich Gossage get in while better players such as Mike Mussina don't? That's ridiculous...very much like the Rock'N'Roll Hall of Fame!!!!

Portly Jay:

I'll be thinking of those inspiring words after I see Adam Jones hit a ball through the ozone layer and Moose just stands there with his hands on his hips in a pouting fashion. I'm not a fan. However, I like The New Steinbrenner. Baby Boss gave such an inspirational speech to the NY Post that even the skeleton of General Sherman had to blush.

Yanni:

I would also add that the advent of the 5-man rotation and the increasing importance of bullpens as additional factors making 300 wins more difficult.

Dino:

I think with 250 wins in modern day baseball in the steroid era, he should get in. If you talk about the top 10 pitchers of the last 20 years, it would actually be very hard to argue that he doesn't belong in that list. These days, we're seeing an older, less dominant pitcher. But in his prime, he was a top notch starter. There will probably never be another 300 game winner. I think 250 is the barrier we should look at these days.

Fat Willard:

Here is a good marker, game 7 World Series, who would you rather hand the ball to? I say Mussina. If you add 'big game' ability, Mussina wins out. Game 7 Yankees vs. Sox, shut them down for 3+ innings, a starter out of the pen, led to the Boone homerun. Like Dino said, Mussina won on average O's teams while Glavine was the 2 sometimes 3 best pitcher on championship teams. And look at Glavine last season. Mets needed ONE win, their 'ace' on the mound, gave up like 6 runs in 2 innings check the box score on that one. But it wasn't pretty

Ned Yost was none to happy about a blog post that claimed he was moments from getting canned by the Brewers. Parts of the post was later reprinted in the Sentinel Journal's Brewers Blog.

While Milwaukee GM Doug Melvin chose to brush off the notions surrounding his manager's employment status as "erroneous Internet rumors," Yost chose to launch into what was described by the Sentinal Journal as a "mild tirade/venting session" that included "un-publishable words."

Yost: "It's not right. Blogs and the talk radio show guys, it's fun, but they don't have all the information. To sit back and criticize and talk about certain situations and they don't have all the information, now that's where it gets hard to listen or give it much credability. It's a joke. There's no legitimacy there at all, and we put it on the Internet for everybody to see and raise havoc. It's a joke. It's not fair and it's not right."

Drunk 12-year-old, pick-up truck, step daddy, rodeo romance.

I bet this kid has a kick ass belt buckle.

The Modesto Bee:

An Arkansas preteen faces a drunken driving charge after he and a friend drank his parents' beer, "got liquored up" and crashed his stepfather's pickup truck, the Johnson County sheriff said.

Sheriff Jimmy Dorney said the 12-year-old boy and his 10-year-old friend drove off in the truck May 4 to find a girl they met at a rodeo. The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck.

AP Photo

• MLBers With "Alligator Blood" (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Oddyssey to the Infield (Steady Burn via Yahoo)
• Top 5 Reasons Boston Sucks (The World of Isaac)
• 2 Theories About Joe Morgan (NESW Sports)
• With a little luck for Varitek, four could have been more (Red Sox Monster)

Today at Gem Mint Ten:

• Future Star of What?
• Glenn Hoffman Works Hard for His Money

From Philly.com:

Baseball star Jose Canseco recently revealed that the mortgage on his home had been foreclosed, and he blamed two costly divorces for his financial woes. Because the dude has to pay the bills, he has turned to celebrity boxing.

Canseco and promoter Damon Feldman are seeking a challenger to fight the Oakland Athletics veteran on July 12 at the Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City. The chosen opponent will be paid $5,000. Brave souls should e-mail fightcanseco@aol.com. Canseco's opponent will be revealed in this column next week.

No word on whether Canseco, who admitted to having used steroids throughout his baseball career, will be juiced for the fight. Tickets will be available through Center Stage, 800-677-8499.

Yea...ouch. I don't care how tough of a man you think you are...we can all relate, especially those named Woody.

• The Greatest Drinking/Sports Event In The Midwest, If Not the World:The Indy 500(Chicago Bull)
• Chris Mortenson holds grudges (The Endzone Buzz)
• Charlie Steiner has a great laugh (NESW Sports)
• The Eagles think women don't know about sports (The Third I)
• King James is a poor sport (Mac G's World)

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• Topps Thinks Pascual Perez is Disgusting
• Ohh Billy
• Never Trust a Man with Two First Names...
  

Your man has forgotten more about football then you'll ever know. Now he wants to insult you even more by "borrowing" $85 from you to send you on a one-day, 5-hour cram session (as if you care), thanks to the Philadelphia Eagles.

If you do well, he might even get you one of these...

The Eagles have created a new, unique fan experience designed specifically for women called the Eagles Academy.

The Eagles Academy offers you a chance to enhance your football knowledge, meet some Eagles players and coaches, and enjoy a great time with fellow female Eagles' fans. This half-day event will be held at the team's NovaCare Complex where you will break down the x's and o's of football in a classroom environment, as well as have the opportunity to put your knowledge to the test with an interactive, on-field skills portion.

H/T Philadelphia Will Do

Here is a new way to get a motivated for a big series. Self-mutilation.

Mets rough up Wang, sweep series vs. Yankees

1) Wang jokes never get old.
2) I think MSM has given up trying to get around sexual innuendo in headlines. Either that or the Editors are 80 year-olds and clueless. (Come to think of it, I'll guess the latter.)

After the tragic death of Eight Belles following this year's Kentucky Derby, PETA went on their reactionary, media-clamoring crusade to persecute participants, observers and fans of the sport of kings.

True to their word, the animal lovers took to picketing yesterday's Preakness Stakes at Pimlico in Baltimore.

(AP Photo/Mel Evans)

What saddens and sickens me, though, is that while they advocate for the "ethical" treatment of race horses, they ignore the blatant unethical treatment of another animal - the party animal - happening right before their eyes.

(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

PETA owes it to poor Steve Scrimer (above), to write letters, sound the alarm and get on their proverbial horses in championing against the physical hardships drunk a-holes face on the infield.

After all, people are animals too.

We got an email from our friend BMan from Best Damn with a link to their podcast. This week’s guest was Gary Payton, who is called around the 4:14 mark. As BMan puts it, "He leads an interesting life."

Click Here For the Podcast

(NOTE: They somewhat ruin the plot of Iron Man if you haven’t seen it)

Photo: Mr. Irrelevant

• Want to help the Round Mound with his debt? Drop a Dim for Chuck. (flatusyahu)
• Mark Schlereth Commits Goatee Fraud (The Sports Hernia)
• Rings or the Hall? (Brahsome)
• 1-Armed Bandit Dominate Roller Derby (Steady Burn)
• Get Todd Jones a Beer (Fanhouse)
• Nats' Post-Game Handshake Culture Clash (Mr. Irrelevant)

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• What's That Smell?
• What We Do
• Rock Out With Your Jocks Out
• Fan Friday

Today's Daily Iowan features a thought provoking piece by Kelsey Beltramea and Kurtis Hiatt that centered around a six-month long apparent stalemate of a reported sexual assault involving UI football players, and the apparent preferential treatment high-profile athletes receive in the judicial process of such cases.

Six search warrants related to the case have been sealed four times from the public since Nov. 16, 2007, most recently on May 9 for 60 more days. The documents, though, may never be released, and officials are largely declining to comment on the alleged incident. The accuser's father said he was advised not to offer comment as well.

The investigation resulted in the search of rooms belonging to Hawkeye football defensive backs Abe Satterfield and Cedric Everson. "Both freshmen have since left the university without commenting specifically on the reasons for their departures."

UI police reported, in the most recent statistics available, that 13 forcible sex offenses occurred on campus property in 2006.

The report cites a USA Today piece that analyzed "a dozen years of sexual-assault allegations against professional athletes and NCAA Division I football and basketball players to determine their typical outcomes," as prompted by the Kobe Bryan case.

The researchers found in 2003 that 22 cases of the 168 accusations against athletes went to trial and six of those resulted in convictions, with 46 others resulting in plea agreements. More than two-thirds of the athletes accused were acquitted, never charged, or had their charges dropped.

Also noted was the 2002 sexual assault accusation against former Hawkeye Pierre Pierce.

When former Hawkeye basketball player Pierre Pierce's victim reported she was sexually assaulted in 2002, a review board found Pierce's status as an athlete influenced how the university handled her case.

While, the school's Board in Control of Athletics couldn't determine whether Pierce had received preferential treatment, "shortly after the Pierce affair, the athletics department modified its student-athlete code of conduct, clarifying expectations and informing athletes about particular consequences, should a rule be broken."

While we like the notion that folks are innocent until proven guilty, even when the accused are acquitted it is ultimately difficult to shake the stigma of being on trial or even being pointed at for sexual assault. That said, victims, real victims, live with much greater unimaginable difficulties. Celebrity defendants in any case cannot be looked at objectively. Such is human nature. Their aura proceeds them. And the truth may never come out, the victims may never be put at ease and the guilty may never see justice.

NSFW, but it's Friday so have at it.

The Kentucky Derby showed us that Big Brown is all balls. He has balls upon balls.

Every indication is that Big Brown is going to run away with the Preakness as well. You would need brass ones to bet against him.

Well sports fans, I cause sparks when I walk.

(AC/DC would bet against Big Brown and would dig this post)

The conundrum that is upon us is that Big Brown has 1-2 odds and expected to go down to 1-10. What’s the point of betting on him?

I was at the Preakness when Barbaro went down. It seems like these horses are dropping as frequent as newborn testicles. You might as well try and make some money on an underdog and a freak accident.

Here is a pair to watch:

Giant Moon and Big Brown could vie for the lead and gas each other allowing Gayego to sashay for the win.

Big Brown and Gayego could dominate each other allowing Tres Borrachos to stalk a position and run the race of his life.In the end, if you want to make any money, you are going to need to play the exotics. The smart money would be to do a trifecta wheel with Big Brown on top and throw Gayego and another in the 2 shoot with a closer like Yankee Bravo or Racecar Rhapsody in the 3 spot. Sadly, even an exacta won’t pay well with a 1-10 odd horse.

Remember kids, vices create character, go gamble.

• Open Letter to Tom Brady & His Pet Goat (thejetsblog)
• Dreamboat Baby Responds (Dreamboat Baby)
• Odds Your Mom Slept With Wilt (The World of Issac)
• The Best Of Manny Being Manny(Awful Announcing)
• Flyers Fat Dancing Guy Takes Self Seriously (The 700 Level)

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• Arrrrrghhh!
• Freaking at the Freakers' Ball

"Steroids are as American as apple pie."

Right. When you worship cartoons, I suppose you would think that way.

Anyway, below is a clip from the soon-to-be-released (5/30) movie "Bigger, Stronger, Faster*".

"At its heart, this is the story of director Christopher Bell and his two brothers, who grew up idolizing muscular giants like Hulk Hogan, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and who went on to become members of the steroid-subculture in an effort to realize their American dream. When you discover that your heroes have all broken the rules, do you follow the rules, or do you follow your heroes?"

I haven't followed the whole Bill Simmons/ESPN story very closely - because frankly, it doesn't interest me.

However, it seems many of you have.

Today, I brushed up at The Big Lead and saw this...

And how’s this for timing: Simmons says he’s going to be writing less for ESPN, and a day later, he posts what appears to be a 15,000 word story on his blog. We have no clue as to the backstory here, but the reader who directed us to it says that Simmons has said there was reader interest in the piece (which is from 1996), and it never got published. Looks to us like a, ‘I can write, dammit!’ piece. It sort of makes us want to rummage around our computer for this piece we did on John McEnroe being an asshole to us about seven years ago that never got published by the last newspaper we were at …

I figured it's something worth keeping an eye on. So I went to put it in my Google Reader and noticed that there was no RSS button in the address bar which is common with Blogspot.

So when I manually entered it into my Reader, I was directed to another blog/message board.

I won't ruin the fun, but try it for yourself.

So the questions are:

1. Is the blog legit (ie it is in fact Bill Simmons)
2. Is Bill Simmons a SOSH?
3. Is the joke on us?

Someone track down House and June Bug or whatever the hell their names are and get me some answers.

"Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?"

Brewers lock up Braun through 2015 with $45 million deal

Time sure flies when you're driving fast! Seems like just yesterday, we were down in Daytona. This coming weekend, the boys come home to North Carolina and Lowe's Motor Speedway for the NASCAR All-Star Race.

The NASCAR All-Star race is a unique beast. Drivers qualify through a various number of ways, being current year race winners, past champions, past winners of the All-Star race, and finally the winner of the Sprint Open. Any driver in the top 50 in points who is competing in 2008 is eligible for the Open, and the winner then makes the All-Star race. Whew!

But what makes the NASCAR All-Star race the best All-Star competition in professional sports is the fact that unlike other sports where athletes are just having a good time or aren't really playing to their full potential, the NASCAR All-Star race is racing like no other. There are no points. The only thing that matters is winning. Finishing 2nd doesn't do a darn thing. So, driver's will do insane things in order to win. It's kinda like everyone taking a "checkers or wreckers" driving style to the racetrack for this one short race. IT'S INSANE and IT'S AWESOME!!!!

The only down side is the stupid performances that go along with it. A few years ago, they had Red Hot Chili Peppers playing in Turn 1, DURING THE RACE!!!! It was the most God awful thing I've ever heard. Ole Rusty understands that NASCAR is trying to lure new fans, but gracious, they don't need to be abandoning the tried and true fans, do they? I sure hope they tone it down this year.

Well, since there's no points race this weekend, there's no fantasy picks either. But that's okay, cause Rusty needs extra time to prepare for the Coca Cola 600 next weekend. What LOOOOOONNNNNNGGGG race.

So, y'all come back now, hear?

Ever wonder what kind of tampons David Wright really uses?

What kind of tissues Tony Romo favors?

If Dana Jacobsen actually prefers grain alcohol?

Well now, we get to know for sure. ("For sure" in that totally-accurate user-driven "Wikipedia" sense.)

CNBC's Darren Rovell asks, "Does your favorite athlete really use the product he promotes?"

You now might know thanks to a site called Coolspotters.com which could turn the sports endorsement model on its head. The site is basically a brand wikipedia.

It asks everyday citizens to tie celebrities with brands and to submit pictures of these stars using products or services.

• All-Cheap All-Star Teams: AL & NL's Best Under the Fish's $22 Payroll (Simon on Sports)
• NFL Officially Recognizes “Taint” as Legitimate Position (flatusyahu)
• 10 great (non-MLB) basebrawls following a message pitch (on205th)
• Hear Ye! Hear Ye!: Dreamboat Baby's Take on Daddy's ESPN Beef (Dreamboat Baby)
• Dollar Dog Night Lives Up to Reputation (The 700 Level)

Today on Gem Mint Ten

• How Does Fred Manrique Reach These Kids?
• GMT Trivia: Where Are They Now?

"To play in the Big Leagues, you must be 21, or else you're out at the old ball game."

Last night, NBC 10 News followed around Philly PD as they prowled the Citizen Bank Park parking lots for underage drinkers. Not surprisingly, they did so on "Dollar Dog Night."

The results: 91 minors busted, 7 juvies (under 18), 8 people produced fake IDs and 9 were cited for disorderly conduct. (Yet some drunken stumble bums still managed to make it into the stadium).

Kudos to the bearded clown for dropping the old "If you're old enough to go to Iraq" cliche.

Photo: phillynews.com

Ahh! To be a lame duck.

Let's talk comedy and baseball...

From today's LA Times:

Speaking with Mike Allen, chief political writer of Politico.com, Bush covered an eclectic collection of topics -- including the erroneous intelligence that formed part of the foundation of his case for invading Iraq, his choices for building a top-dollar baseball team, and his rating of the comedians cast as him and his father on NBC's "Saturday Night Live." (He chose Dana Carvey's George H.W. Bush over Will Ferrell's George W. Bush.)

Say what you will about the Leader of the Free World, the man knows his baseball:

As for his baseball pick, his first choice to build a team is Chase Utley of the Philadelphia Phillies. "There's nothing better than having a good person up the middle that can hit," said Bush, a former part-owner of the Texas Rangers.

From the transcript of the interview at Politico:

Q Mr. President, I know you're going to hate this, but I'm hoping that we may twist your arm and talk about baseball for just a moment. (Laughter.) Mr. President, you're a Major League Baseball team owner again. Everyone is a free agent. You have a Yankees-like wallet. Who is your first position player? Who's your pitcher?

THE PRESIDENT: That's a great question. I like Ottley from the Philadelphia Phillies. He's a middle infielder, which is always -- you know, they say you have strength up the middle -- there's nothing better than having a good person up the middle that can hit. And Roy Halladay from the Toronto Blue Jays is a great pitcher. He's a steady guy, he burns up innings. And I'm sure I'm leaving some other good ones out, but those --

Q We thought you were going to go A-Rod, Josh Beckett.

THE PRESIDENT: Josh Beckett is good, yes, he's real good, too. I mean, look, that's a tough question to answer on the fly like this, Michael.

From Fox Sports:

Federal prosecutors have filed a new indictment against Barry Bonds, charging the home run king with 14 counts of lying to a grand jury and one count of obstruction when he denied knowingly using performance-enhancing drugs.

Word is that Bonds and the MLBPA are charging that the feds have colluded with 32 MLB teams to bring about these charges.

• The 10 Best Booties in beach volleyball (The World of Issac)
• The worst state for baseball: Alaska? (Bugs & Cranks)
• Top 12 Baseball Traditions that should be revived (Epic Carnival)
• Has VERSUS faxed him a contract yet? (Going Five Hole)

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• Fear and Loathing in Pittsburgh
• Senior Superlatives

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Reuters: "Gay rodeo undermines sexual stereotypes"

Philadelphia's gay community sought to dispel some sexual stereotypes when it held the city's first gay rodeo.

About 50 contestants roped steers, cracked whips, and wrestled cattle to the ground during the weekend in an attempt to prove to themselves - and the rest of the world - that they are just as capable of tackling a traditionally macho sport as their straight counterparts.

And with that, the normalcy ended.

Interspersed with familiar events like steer riding and calf roping were "goat dressing" - in which pairs of contestants try to put hot-pink underwear on the hind quarters of an uncooperative goat in the shortest time - and "steer decorating" in which one partner of a team has to tie a ribbon on the tail of a struggling steer while the other tries to hold on to its horns.

For more information on gay rodeos, see the International Gay Rodeo Association's Website.

Today Robert John "Bobby" Valentine, manager of the Chiba Lotte Marines of Japan's Pacific League, turns 58 years young.

A few weeks back we previewed The Zen of Bobby V., which made debut at this year's Tribecca Film Festival. Zen is a documentary directed by 3 NYU students — Andrew Jenks, Andrew Muscato, and Jonah Quickmire Pettigrew — following Valentine "through a season of baseball in Japan."

Shortly after publishing the post, we shared a few emails with Muscato who informed us that the film will be broadcast tonight on ESPN2 at 9 PM, with a DVD release soon to follow.

Be sure to check it out tonight on the Deuce.

See also:

• The Zen of Bobby V (HHR)
• The Zen of Bobby V (TribecaFilmFestival.org)
• Bobby Valentine on His New Tribeca Documentary (NY Mag Interview)
• The Zen of Bobby V (NY Mag Clip)

No words will do this video justice. So just watch and enjoy.



Clearly this guy has no issues whatsoever. None.

Nelson Figueroa after a 10-4 loss to the Nats said: "They were cheerleading in the dugout like a bunch of softball girls. If that's what a last-place team needs to do to fire themselves up, so be it. They need to show a little more class and professionalism."

Looking at this footage of Lastings Milledge, Paul LoDuca, Dimiti Young and company, we can't say we disagree. While girls just want to have fun, there is no place for this in professional baseball.

Back in 2006, I openly pined for Julian Tavarez to be shot out of a cannon into space, and further requested that the cannon be calibrated with Rudy Seanez. Seanez was finally shipped out, but Tavarez remained. Until yesterday. Thank you Sean Casey.

The Red Sox today activated first baseman Sean Casey today from the disabled list. To make room for Casey, the team designated pitcher Julian Tavarez for assignment. The team now has 10 days to either work out a trade for Tavarez or grant him his outright release.

As of yesterday, the Red Sox had still been talking with the Rockies about a deal for Tavarez, who is 0-1 with a 6.39 ERA after he allowed an unearned run in 1 1/3 innings last night.

The bigger question for Red Sox fans is this: What is Manny going to do without his little troll doll now?

I remember when Pedro and that little guy he carried all over the place had a falling out (and then the little dude coincidentally died.... probably of a broken heart) - but this is different. This is the Red Sox playing the heavy. Personally I think it's for hitting into the shortstop last night in a terrible pinch-hitting performance.

In conclusion, this entire post exists just to replay one of my favorite videos ever:



Between Remy's wheezing and Don Orsillo begging, "Make him stop!" I can't think of a finer moment that perfectly encpsulates Manny Ramirez.

Phillies.com mailbag via Philadelphia Will Do:

I was watching an interview with Chase Utley, and at the end he said Pat Burrell owns a man purse. From your knowledge of the team, have you seen Burrell strutting around with a nice gator skin man purse? -- Kyle M., Pitman, N.J.

In seven years of being around Burrell, I have yet to see Burrell with a man purse of any kind, and I don't plan on asking him or Utley about it. That said, Utley ought to know, don't you think?

Anyone? We may open the man bag strings to anyone with photographic evidence.

• Tito Will Kick Papi's Ass (Babes Love Baseball)
• RIP Starting Pitching (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Video: In which even Red Sox fans can't root for the Red Sox fan (Red Sox Monster)
• Bobby Jenks Has a Great Rack (Bugs & Cranks/Meech)
• Dick Trickle All-Stars (Big League Stew)
• Must Read: 14 Annoying Tailgaters (Tailgating Ideas via 3 Idiots on Sports)

Today on Gem Mint Ten:

• He's LaCock of the Walk Baby: Former MLBer's Pete LaCock, Chris Codiroli and Craig Lefferts had some wild times back in the day.
• What the Hell is This?: Ellis Valentine's (Capricorn) Quest to Become a 2-Sport Athlete.
• Great Catch, Mike: Mike Greenwell's Untold Relationship with the Green Monster.

2008 marks the 100th anniversary of baseball's unofficial anthem — "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," happily coinciding with how long America's beloved Cubs have stunk.

To help celebrate the song that Cubs fans ruined, we take a look at five of our favorite renditions.

Go Brue Jays!



What?



Yee Haw, Cubs Fans.



Best Rendition. Ever.



Screw you Cubbies. Go Sox.

Well I am a fan of both so that makes me awesome.

Conde Nast Portfolio asks, "Do richer Major League Baseball teams play in cleaner stadiums?"

From Portfolio.com:

We surveyed health-code violations at 11 stadiums to find out. It turns out that two of baseball’s richest teams, the New York Yankees and the New York Mets, and a team near the bottom of the revenue pile, the Kansas City Royals, play in stadiums with some of the best inspection records. But the big middle contains several ballparks where you might want to skip the hot dogs. Two West Coast teams, the Los Angeles Angels and the Oakland A’s, had far more food fouls than any other team. While most were minor, some were, well, disgusting. Teams contract out food service to a handful of vendors, though team management is responsible for stadium cleanliness. The A’s declined to comment; a spokesperson for the Angels conceded that 2007 was an off year but that the team had worked with its vendor and an outside consultant and “made a lot of changes” for 2008.

Click here for their interactive feature.

Hey did you hear T.O. is going to be on Flavor Flav's sitcom? Hey, did you know Flavor Flav had a sitcom? Hey, did you know there was a channel called MyNetworkTV? I knew all these things and frankly I feel worse about myself for it.

Terrell Ownes makes sitcom acting debut. (Insert witty popcorn pun here.)

Odd headline considering T.O. did some brillant acting over a joke of a loss to the Giants in the playoffs. This pretending stuff is old hat to him.

T.O. will make his sitcom acting debut on the MyNetworkTV show "Under One Roof" as the long-lost brother of the show's star, Flavor Flav. Owens tries convincing Flav and sitcom sibling Kelly Perine that they're all brothers in hopes of getting them to invest in his Web site.

Who would be a more embarassing son? Flavor Flav or Terrell Owens. I say Flav. T.O. is at least an accomplished athlete while Flav was the hype man for a group that didn't need him to get attention, he wears large clocks around his neck, and looks like love child of Willie McGee and Mr. Hanky.

T.O. comments..."I see dollar signs," Owens said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm trying to kind of smooth my way into the family, but Flav is not buying it. It's a lot of funny dialogue. It was a good time."

That's the same thing Owens says after every new contract with a new NFL team. Just replace Flav's name with Garcia, McNabb, or Romo.

T.O. signed on to come back later in the season for a 'Very Special' Under One Roof episode where he fakes a suicide attempt. Sorry to ruin it for all three fans of the show.

Better yet, let me come to you, you fat sonsofbitches.

It's coming. The end of the world is near.

Joke if you will about American kids being lazy, video game and Internet addicted overweight slobs.

It's one thing to entertain yourself via Madden rather than Pop Warner.

Look, I am an unapologetic fan of competitive eating. I love it. But when you choose to stuff your face on a Wii rather than in the kitchen, that's where I draw the line.

Get off the couch and eat you lazy, no good bastards.

Joey Chestnut, Crazy Legs Conte, Kobayashi and the rest of your MLE heroes are now featured on "Major League Eating: The Game" On Wii.

What is this world coming to.

See screen shots, videos and eater profiles here.

As seen at Epic Carnival, the chief carves up the Four Letter's MLB Power Rankings in 4th Estate Graffiti.

I'm always a fan of sports trick videos. Whether it's Tiger bouncing a golf ball or an 'escort' doing layups (zing!), it serves the dual purpose of humanizing the athlete and the sport. This is good because in general we could use a dose of humor outside of the sports sections and blogs where each move and player are put under a microscope as if the contest is actually important or serves any purpose other than to entertain. Usually. Trick shots in badminton (badmiNton? There's an N in there? Since when?) do not fall under this category. The only real trick I see is that the dude in the headband is not beaten within an inch of his life for said offending headband and dance moves.




Then there's this dude who goes beyond trick shots and just plays around with the racquet. You can dress it up with heavy metal all you want, pretending that's not a baton, but it doesn't mean you don't secretly want the captain of your high school color guard to take notice and offer you that spot you've been secretly coveting from afar.




After watching this one is forced to conclude that there are no trick shots to badminton except for doing it without looking like you are afraid to play volleyball because of your thin, frail forearms.

Oh Sarge....Sarge, Sarge, Sarge.....

Please don't refer to a woman, especially a semi-famous woman with a fanbase, as 'plump.' And on television no less.

Check out what Sarge Matthews does on his day off...compliments of our friend Pat over at Phils-ville.

I remember a couple nights ago I was 11 shots into a bottle of Jager and making myself laugh with fart noises and random thoughts like 'You know who needs their own YouTube channel? The Ultimate Warrior'

He does have his own channel.



It was much funnier drunk.

Check this chick for the Clear, the Cream, and a penis.

Richardson, only one from school to qualify for state, wins track team title

Bonnie Richardson ran. She threw. She jumped. And when it was time to hand out the team trophies, Richardson accepted the 1A team championship for Rochelle High School -- by herself. Bonnie Richardson of Rochelle High School scored 42 team points to win the Texas 1A track title.

Richardson won the high jump, placed second in the long jump, was third in the discus, won the 200 meters, and finished second in the 100 meters to defending champion.

Fine, Richardson, you win. But I bet the other teams had better after-parties.

Applebees. Table for one.

Forget the NBA and NHL.

Today CBS is broadcasting the United States Bowling Congress' Clash of Champions.

Never before have I gotten so excited for bowling as when 17-year-old high school senior and 2007 U.S. Junior Amateur champion, Jenny Brown, knocked out 8 stikes in a row in a one-ball eliimination tournament before falling to the 33-year-old U.S. Women’s Open champion, Liz Johnson.

Good stuff watching the stoic youngster go toe-to-toe with the excitable vet.

Seriously.

Love this "Clash" format.

Or was it an accident? Either way, I think it speaks volumes for women drivers.

What's next? Asian drivers?

I'll be here all week folks.

(Ariel just punched me in the nuts).

"If he wants to yell and scream after a strikeout and dance around the mound, that's what gets him going," he said. "My home run was in a much bigger situation, a much more key part of the game, but I didn't dance around and scream."

Exactly. Joba was wrong to get excited while his team was winning in the 8th inning of meaningless May game. The pinch-hit homerun happened during a different meaningless May game. David was in a much bigger situation.

So, that's it. You guys ruined for everyone. I don't want to see any of you God damn rich bastards showing any kind of emotion out there. This is serious business, this baseball.

I don't want you to get excited, or congratulate each other, or pump fists, or hand-slap, booty dance, grab-ass or do whatever it is you guys thought of in the clubhouse to show emotion.

If something positive should happen to the team I want a head nod and possibly a 'well done sir.'

I want nothing that could get the fans into the game. I want to see a game where every player acts like the field is the last place on earth he wants to be at that moment. That's how they used to do it. The old guard. Back when this was a part time job and life was different.

Stop acting like you care and act like a bunch of grown men getting paid to play a child's game.

This is business.

• Who are the worst sports sons? (The Money Shot)
• Baseball's All-Time Biggest Scumbags (Seventh Inning Scratch)
• Fun with eBay - Yankee fan is selling himself out (The Final Score)
• Bring it Back, Turiaf: Asking Ronnie and Crew to Break Out the 'Fros (The Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Please explain this Awkward Asian Baseball Commercial (NESW Sports)
• Reading Phillies' Ryan Howard Snow Globe (philadelphia will do)

Today at Gem Mint Ten:

• MLB Goes Hollywood
• Sweet Lou Loves Him Some Sweet Lou

Photo: The Smoking Gun

Joe Montana is suing his ex-wife and Heritage Auction of Texas "over the sale of love letters and memorabilia from the Hall of Fame quarterback's college days at the University of Notre Dame," claiming the sale "violated his copyright and privacy rights." Among the items up for bid are:

• Montana's freshman I.D. card
• The Moses-Montana 1974 marriage certificate
• A letter to Moses penned on a Ziggy card
• An "I Love You" note
• A letter Montana wrote to Moses's parents describing his first year on the Notre Dame football squad.

Who doesn't love Ziggy.

Hopefully this ex-wife never snapped a photo of him, otherwise she's in for a world of hurt.

I bet he also tells everyone in the newsroom his lunch is causing a 'warm front in his pants.'

Two straight nights, Harry K has knocked my ass out. Fine, it's a 10:30 pm start time on the East Coast but I am not a 60-year-old man. My normal bed time is midnight, right after some warm milk and a couple pages of 'Diary of a MILF.'

And it's not just Harry's snail-paced delivery and stepping all over Wheeler's points that's got me nodding off. The man refuses to admit he is wrong. A few weeks ago he kept referring to Reds outfielder Norris Hopper as Dennis Hopper. He is going on and on about the weather, jet lag and Sarges' HGH abusing offspring.

Here is a classic Harry moment from this season. I don't remember all the particulars but here is the jist; Jason Werth comes to bat and his line on the bottom of the screen says he is hitting at .278. A moment later the line flashes for his average with runners in scoring position, which was around .290. Harry is still thinking about the first batting average (.278) and wants to impress everyone with his reading comprehension. He gets out 'Werth hitting at twwoooo.' when he peeks the .290 staring at him. He is lost.

And then dead silence. No 'sorry about that' no 'oh, I meant this.' Wheels is dead silent in fear of an arthiritic backhand slap.

The silence lasted the entire at bat.

I am hoping this is Harry's goodbye tour. One last trip around the country before bowing out and into retirement.

I hope he takes Sarge's hats with him.

Jim Baumbach at Newsday's The Final Score pulled out this doozy of everyone's favorite alleged teenage skirt-chasing PED abuser...

Below is part 2 of our conversation with NBA draft hopeful Zach Feinstein, information on whom can be found at his website www.DraftFeinstein.com.

Click here for Part 1 of the interview.

Hugging Harold Reynolds: You have noted your physical likeness to Herm Klotz, who from the NBA do you most resemble mentally?

Zach Feinstein: Mark Cuban - well you never said it had to be a player (if you hadn't noticed I am a fan of loopholes).

HHR: Are you prepared for your future role as absentee father of several dozen children and how will that affect your free throw percentage?

ZF: I feel this would never happen to me because I have followed the off-court experiences of Shawn Kemp and Karl Malone. As for my free throw percentage, well that can only go up.

HHR: Is this all a ploy to get closer to Erin Andrews? If so, Bravo good sir.

ZF: Which answer would get me the interview with her?

HHR: I swear to God this is true: when I played youth Rec League Basketball I was terrible and frighteningly short. Somehow I managed to grab a rebound and took a shot and made it. Into my own team's basket. The only basket I made all year. What is your most memorable/emotionally scarring basketball memory?

ZF: Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" obviously never got trash-talked after missing 20 shots in a row.

Because HHR believes in you, we think you deserve to be asked the same questions of any top draft pick. Here are a few that went to last year's top draft picks:

HHR: How is important is it for you to go No. 1 overall?

ZF: Not very, the site isn't draftfeinsteinnumber1.com.

HHR: What do you think you'll bring to a franchise as far as marketability?

ZF: Since I am at the size and skill level of the average fan, I can make a team appear more fan friendly.

HHR: Good God Greg, you look like someone's grandfather. (you don't have to answer that one)

I'm rather certain this: 1. is not a question and 2. in multiple ways does not apply to me... but I like the comparison to Greg Oden since neither of us played any basketball this year.

HHR: How do you feel about being compared to Tracy McGrady?

ZF: I feel good about it, seems reasonable, we both have won the same number of playoff series.

HHR: Is it true that whichever sneaker company you sign with, you want your shoe to be moderately priced?

ZF: I would not only want that, but demand it. Unless of course the deal is with a maker of driving shoes, then I might fail in negotiating due to my love of driving shoes.

HHR: What's something you learned in college that's going to help you at the next level?

ZF: With all the math courses I am taking, I would probably be an asset in statistically analyzing who should get the ball when the game is on the line.

HHR: Do you feel the league, as it gets faster and smaller, is leaning a bit more toward your style of play?

ZF: If we get rid of that faster part then yes.

HHR: Some people have knocked your toughness and level of aggression. What do you make of that?

ZF: I want to know the last time they have tried to play a sport against people over a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier.

Having been a D-1 competitor myself, I wish no harm to any college athlete under any circumstance. However, I do wish those who are stupid enough not to respect their talents...and their bodies...a sizeable amount of embarassment on their way to corporate sponsorships and big-day payouts. North Carolina's Player of the Year, Tyler Hansbrough, was recently caught jumping off the second story of a house (during a massive school party, naturally) into a pool below.


SO STUPID!!! In this case, I wouldn't mind an ankle sprain that carried into next season...North Carolina's loss to Kansas ruined my March Madness bracket this year!

(Ed Note: We realize this is old news, but Woody is generally always late to the game, so we will humor him.)

(Woody Responds: Some of us have lives offline...and this is my off-season for sports.)

• Having Fun With Drunk, Passed Out Brewers' Fan (Busted Coverage)
• A Practical Assessment of Sports Blogging (Stet Sports)
• Life in the minor leagues (The Final Score)
• We'd All Love to be Bugs Bunny For A Day (Fan IQ)
• Eric Rasmussen Needs a Date (Gem Mint Ten)
• Top 20 Television Sports Pet Peeves (Epic Carnival)
• He's Amazing with His Feet - Nick Lowry's Hot...Fiance? (SportsbyBrooks)
  

On DWTS, Taylor and Yamaguchi were both outdanced by a one-armed Cristian de la Fuente, and I have to say, he and Cheryl really did a great job. Despite being in the middle of the pack as far as judging is concerned, it was Mario who got sent home last night. But I have to say, I am pretty damn shocked that he lasted this long. Maybe people really thought he was Chris Rock?

Last night on Idol, Jason Castro, resident Stoned Age extra sang a horrific version of Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff," and forgot the chorus to Bob Dylan's "Tamborine Man." I mean, this is supposedly right in your wheelhouse, dude. Hey, hippie, maybe if you layed off the reefer you'd have remembered the damn lines. Hopefully, this d-bag gets sent home tonight. Ren and I have only been watching a few weeks now, and just cannot stomach the sight, let alone sound, of him.

I have to say, little Archuletta has a kick ass voice, but again, I have no clue what kind of record he'd make. We still like David Cook who did a good "Baba O'Riley", and Syesha channeled Sam Cook in a very heartfelt and personal performance. It should be the three of them into next week, if the stars align correctly.

HHR Exclusive Part 2: Zach Feinstein on Illegitimate Children, T-Mac, Oden & Erin Andrews

By now, you may have read about Zach Feinstein, a 5'8", 130 pound, D-III Caucasian who does "not play basketball," declaring his eligibility for the upcoming NBA draft.

By simply submitting a letter to Commissioner Stern and filling out required paperwork, Feinstein is officially a declared and eligible.

HuggingHaroldReynolds was lucky enough to catch up with the Washington University in St. Louis Junior for what we hope is Part 1 of a multi-part conversation with the baller.

Be sure to visit DraftFeinstein.com for scouting reports, stats, and additional information.

---

HuggingHaroldReynolds: Now, we checked the records and you are in fact white and don't play basketball, how does that effect your draft position?

Zach Feinstein: Well every year there are many non-white players, who do actually play basketball. Most of these players go undrafted, so this probably gives me an edge.

HHR: According to math I just did in my head, if you change your last name to a more Eastern European mess of all consonants, it would improve your draft ranking by a factor of 10,000. How far are you willing to go?

ZF: First, 10,000 times 0 is still 0 (I am majoring in math so I'm fairly confident about this). Secondly, this may have worked if it weren't for Nikoloz Tskitishvili.

HHR: Will you simultaneously be lobbying for a "lightning round" based on trivia?

ZF: Good suggestion, the less time a team has to think about it, the more likely they are to take me.

HHR: Would you consider playing a year in China just to look taller?

ZF: We will see how my Summer in China goes. It really depends on the offer though.

HHR: Have any shoe companies reached out yet for endorsement deals? Vitamin Water?

ZF: Not yet, though I would love to get a shoe deal for driving shoes (I suggest Google-ing these comfortable, comfortable shoes). And although I have gotten multiple offers from people who would love to be my agent, I have turned them all down so far. This has probably hindered my negotiations for endorsement deals.

HHR: Let's be honest, this is also a beauty competition for low market teams looking to give their fans something to come out and see. Do you have a nickname? A signature move/dunk?

ZF: I do not have a nickname. I will be creating a contest on draftfeinstein.com looking for suggestions from readers to come up with my nickname, and this is being announced on Hugging Harold Reynolds first. As for a signature move - that would be creating a website.

HHR: Where did this idea come from? Honestly it's pretty damn funny.

ZF: From the site: "The story begins in April of 2007, when one of my roommates (Dan) suggested that we should declare for the NBA Draft the following year. He, of course, said it jokingly. I, however, thought he was serious."

Just from hearing stories other people have related to me, it seems a lot of people think about doing it every year, but few have the motivation to look into how. Maybe this will help out those who are confused as to how to declare for next year's draft.

HHR: Do you have your draft day suit picked out?

ZF: Well I plan on following the same trend I do for clothes every day; take what is at the top of my dresser.

HHR: What happens if you don't get drafted?

ZF: In that unlikely situation, I will go back to what I was doing last week before the official Early Entry list was released.

--

To Be Continued.

UPDATE (5-8-08):

HHR Exclusive Part 2: Zach Feinstein on Illegitimate Children, T-Mac, Oden & Erin Andrews

ESPN and its personalities have been widely criticized online by bloggers and commentators for their apparent inability or unwillingness to embrace blogs and online communities for their contributions to "journalism" and reporting.

In the wake of the Bissinger/Leitch slobberknocker and subsequent reactions, ESPN, while late to the game, may be slowly becoming the first major mainstream outlet to see the writing on the wall.

Note: This may only apply to sports journalism. For instance, Drudge has led the way for years now, yet sports commentators look at their field in a vacuum and fail to recognize the impact the 'Net has had in (say) politics. While The Sporting News, Yahoo and others embrace fan interaction and "blogs," neither have the mass impact of the WWL.

The piece below was run on Sports Center yesterday (I believe re-broadcast from OTL). ESPN not only centered the premise for the piece on TheDirty's photos in referencing Matt Leinart's perceived partying ways, but showed the very pictures that were published on the site - the very kind of low-brow "journalism" Bissinger and his colleagues decry. Yet, they have no qualms splashing the pictures on their worldwide flagship program.

• Why not LBJ for MVP? (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Video: He's a Bud Man and a Lookouts Fan...and about 2 years old (Bugs and Cranks)
• Jason Taylor Still not in WWE (The Sports Hernia)
• Samuel Gets Touchy with Feeley (Bleeding Green Nation)
• A move to honor the life of Matthew Beaudoin, late Red Sox fan (Red Sox Monster)
• Name that injury (With Leather)
  

Special Thanks......

We didn't win a Webby, but HHR was recognized this week by 2 peers: LA Sports Blog and Flatusyah, as well as HHR's Gem Mint Ten getting a mention by the granddaddy, Extra Mustard.

the chief passed along this look-a-like: Rays coach Joe Madden and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition do-gooder, Paul DiMeo.

Thanks to our friends at Rays Index for providing a plethora of Madden pictures to peruse.

Devan Downey, an all SEC pick last year as a Soph, averaging 18 ppg and leading the team in assists and steals, was arrested Monday and charged with simple assault.

Dunbar noted last night that it looks like Chauncey Billups is prepping for a post-basketball career with the Blue Man Group. I can't disagree.

As if Taylor didn't already make an impression on the Tuna, now he's back to playing dress up.

Then again, if Edyta Sliminska told me to shake some maracas, I can't say I wouldn't humor her. But did he really need that spray tan? Parcells is going to love this.

A lot...


Go Phils, go.

Other stuff on the Interwebs we enjoyed....

• Marvin Opened The Floodgates. (G Money Sack)
• Report: There is no hope. (The Sports Hernia)
• It's only natural 'the coach' would join the worldwide leader in sports. (Awful Announcing)
• The greatest coffin ever. (On 205th)
• You know what they say about guys with big glasses. (Gem Mint Ten)
• This is all the hockey you need to know. (Going Five Hole)
• If you couldn't tell, AC Milan wins. (Rizzo Sports)
• Heh. Chubby Cox. (The World of Isaac)
  

Got a link you want to show us? Perv. Kidding. Email it to huggingharoldreynolds at gmail dot com.

Green Bay Packers Coach Vince Lombardi, Yankee Yogi Berra and Former Knick/US Senator Bill Bradley were among 15 first-ever inductees into the New Jersey Hall of Fame this past Sunday.

Joining them were Frank Sinatra, astronaut Buzz Aldrin, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, Nobel Prize winner Toni Morrison, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, American Red Cross founder Clara Barton, publisher Malcolm Forbes, and Gen. Robert Wood Johnson II, "familiar to many through the philanthropic foundation that bears his name, was represented by his grandson, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson."

The final inductee was a former amateur pitcher with very unorthodox form. Bruce Springsteen was honored despite his inability to put away Craig Nettles. His friend, a big baseball player back in high school, failed to make the cut, and is said to be very bitter. The two are no longer on speaking terms despite recently seeing one another at a local bar, sitting down and having a few drinks.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - GLORY DAYS
by pierrot77

Sorry to all of you who heeded Dunbar's advise and laid down some money on Z-Fortune. Personally, I hedged my bets - placing some money at the track on Z-F and Pyro, while snagging Big Brown and Bob Black Jack in our house party auction. Walked away with $270.

The real tragedy - and it was - was the fate of second place finisher, and the only filly in the race, Eight Belles - a sentimental favorite with a little Miss McCormack due any week now.

As readers know, we like to sometimes mix politics with sports at the site, especially when politicians choose to show how "common folky" they are by doing so on the campaign trail.

Photo: NYMag

From NBC's Christina Johnson:

Just days ago, Sen. Hillary Clinton asked volunteers in Louisville, KY to "bet on the filly" in the Kentucky Derby. At a later event in Indiana that day, Clinton told the audience that she asked Chelsea, who attended the derby, to put a bit of money on Eight Belles, the only filly in the race.

It was an unfortunate metaphor for the senator trying to stage a comeback in the Democratic primary. Like the 15-to-1 longshot Eight Belles, Clinton is a longshot herself, behind Obama in the delegate count and NBC's popular vote count.

OK. But it gets better.

This morning, ABC News' Political Punch noted that now PETA is getting in on the tragedy:

In light of the tragic death at the Kentucky Derby of Sen. Hillary Clinton's Derby pick Eight Belles -- the first filly to run in the Derby since 1999 -- Ingrid E. Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has written a letter to Clinton protesting her placing a bet to begin with, and asking to enlist her in PETA's campaign against horseracing.

Here is the full letter (emphasis mine)...

Dear Senator Clinton:

As a high profile political figure with the esteem of many women, I regret to say that your public support of horseracing—and specifically betting on Eight Belles—makes you culpable in her destruction. I ask you now to publicly condemn races like the Kentucky Derby. Eight Belles ran for her life and was fiercely whipped as she came down that final stretch when she was no doubt in a great deal of pain. We cannot call ourselves a civilized nation if we allow any living being to endure such abuse.

Races like this are the equivalent of child sweatshops. These are not even seasoned horses: They are young fillies and colts whose joints are not formed enough to endure such a grueling race. Despite this, they are pushed beyond their limits. The Triple Crown and other major horse races have become the graveyards of too many horses who were called champions. For example, Go For Wand, who went down in the 1990 Breeders' Cup Distaff and then stumbled up and tried to keep running with her broken leg dangling; Union City, who fractured a leg in the 1993 Preakness and was destroyed; Prairie Bayou, who that same year suffered a compound fracture in the Belmont Stakes and had to be destroyed; George Washington, who was euthanized after breaking his leg while running the Preakness last year; and of course Barbaro, the 'poster horse' of the racing industry's failures and excesses, who despite efforts could not be saved from the injuries sustained during the 2006 Preakness. Barbaro's injuries were terrible—fractures of his canon bone, sesamoids, and long pastern as well as the dislocation of the fetlock joint. These are just a few of the horses we hear about—they are the winners, the horses who run the big races. Hundreds of horses meet the same painful, deadly fate every year in the horseracing industry.

A race track is not a place for a fun day out, and we are writing to Chelsea on that score. Attending the Derby is as despicable as attending a dogfight. For most—not a few—of the horses you see will not end up put out to pasture on a beautiful ranch but will be sent overseas to be slaughtered for someone's dinner plate. At some point, all horses stop winning.

PETA takes no position on whether you win or lose the race you are in, but we call on you to publicly reject betting on such hideous spectacles of domination over wonderful animals who deserve more than pain and death for human profit and amusement.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

It was a near picture perfect day. In 5 years, we've never had such good weather for the Virginia Gold Cup. So, there I was at the end of a good day watching a nearly snoozable race when it happened. The dominant leader began to fall back. There were only a handful of laps left. Junior battled for the lead and was out front. About 8 laps left, and then the worst thing . . . a caution!!!

He had begun to pull away from the Shrub, but now he'd be right back on his bumper. They would restart with just 5 laps to go.

4 laps to go and the Shrub was right up on his bumper coming out of 2 and going down the backstretch. Then it happened!!!!

That moron just wrecked my boy. The 88 went spinning down the backstretch smacking the wall hard. He'd rejoin the line in 16th with only 2 laps to go. It was over. The losing streak would continue another week. In the melee, Clint Bowyer got to the front and ended up with the win. Shrub finished 2nd, a very undeserving second.

Now, Junior says it was just a racing thing, and he doesn't seem mad at Kyle, but boy was he upset with what happened. I don't know any better than he does about what happened out there, but I do know this. Kyle needed extra security getting outta Richmond last night.

I understand it's a race, and everyone's just trying to win, but his checkers or wreckers style of driving needs to be corrected. My hope is that someone will correct him real quickly. Maybe this coming weekend at Darlington. The lady in black is a tough track to tame for a little nobody like the Shrub.

Ole Rusty will get over it, I reckon, but it's gonna be a tough pill to swallow. Seems my boy just can't catch a break.

Y'all come back now, hear?

I thought I was seeing things on TV. I wasn't.

UFC has a "Fight For Your Ultimate Right" campaign. (And here I always thought it was "to party.")


Fight For Your Ultimate Right - VOTE

Bear in mind TCNJ is a renowned "teacher's college" in the area. Someday their students will see this...

To help preserve the legacy of our cardboard heroes of yesteryear, HHR proudly announces the launch of "HHR's Gem Mint Ten."

And by "heroes" we mean 2 cent commons we have kept strictly for comedic purposes.

From SportsbyBrooks:

KCNC-TV reports that the Broncos QB revealed that he’s been diagnosed with Type 1 of the disease. Cutler learned of his medical condition two weeks ago & announced it to the media Thursday evening. Now Jay must undergo daily insulin shots & be extra-careful with his diet.

We will certainly be praying for him, as will Wilford Brimley.

Remember at the end of the movie Far & Away when all of the land prospectors are lining up for the gunshot start to claim their land. Nobody knows what’s going to happen except everybody will be running fast with a mob mentality. That’s this year’s Kentucky Derby.

Stocked with a full card of 20 horses, all of equal volition, the derby is a crapshoot and dangerous for prospectors (handicappers). Which means big money!

There will be plenty of value in the starting gates in a race where anything can happen. My advice is to find a horse you believe can win and bet big on him. Stay away from the exotics.

Here’s who I have my good eye on. (If you ever wondered what I meant by my good eye, see any picture of Christopher “Big Black” Boykin. He has the definition of a good and bad eye).

To win the Kentucky Derby you need to have hit a 100 beyer figure. That knocks down the field to 7 horses. Of those 7, one is a filly, another was from a sprint race, one only hit hundos as a 2 year old and another made a susceptible 80-102 point leap. Of the more legitimate 100s, two are in the 19 and 20 posts.

That leaves us with one Ben Franklin firing horse: Z Fortune.

Z Fortune has had a difficult time securing a spot in the derby. Every race he has had to battle 3,4 or 5 wide. Now, he has scored one of the prime post position (6-9 gates) and may have the necessary momentum after the gallant second place finish at the Arkansas Derby to squeak out a victory. The only problem is that he doesn’t have a Kentucky Derby winning name.

In a perfect world, I would be eating up some Gayego on Saturday, but the 19 post is a killer. The same could be said for Big Brown in the 20, but I cannot overlook the fact that he has only raced three times and the last time five weeks ago.

(I searched ego waffle, not Gayego, for this picture)

Do not forget Pyro. Pyro did exactly what I wanted him to do. Stink up the joint on his last prep. I’m still Davy Jones, a believer, of Pyro, and the Bluegrass only helped his odds. This horse has been gunning and preparing for the derby the entire 3 year old season. The Bluegrass was nothing to him. Plus, if Pyro and Z Fortune go one and two, we would have an Assman exacta

Remember to gamble kids! Post time is 6:04 p.m.

It's Derby time again - that annual celebration in the city of Louisville where we blow off work for a couple days, drink way more than we should, and end up dirt-poor and severely hungover. In short, it's the best time of year to be a Louisvillian.

The actual running of the Derby isn't until tomorrow, but that won't stop more than 100,000 fans from filing into Churchill Downs today. Today is the running of the 134th Kentucky Oaks, a Grade 1 stakes race and the premier race for 3-year old fillies (girl horses, for those of you who need track-speak translation).

EIGHT BELLES (5/2 ML odds) is the favorite in the Oaks. She was slated to run in the Kentucky Derby as late as yesterday, but a late gambit by her training team has allowed her to squeeze in against a slightly smaller 12 horse field. BELLES has won her last four races, including two graded stakes entries. She is running from the far outside in the 12 spot, so she'll have a longer trip than the rest of the field.

PROUD SPELL has garnered a lot of local and national attention was the favorite until EIGHT BELLES came into the picture. PROUD SPELL enters the morning as a slight underdog (7/2) to BELLES, but not by much. In seven races in her lifetime, PROUD SPELL has never missed the money. She will contend today.

Running from the 6th position, COUNTRY STAR (4-1) should not be written off. She ran poorly in her last race out the Ashland G1 stakes at Keeneland, where she finished 7th against a field that will include 3 of her fellow competitors today. However, that race was run over Keeneland's notoriously-difficult-to-handicap polytrack surface, over which many good horses have run poorly in recent months. Just remember, COUNTRY STAR has won twice at the G1 level, proving she can run against the best competition.

If you're looking for a bomber to fill out a trifecta or superfecta, GOLDEN DOC A (12-1) out of the 1 shoot may be the horse to ring the cash register. Ridden by Kent Desormeaux, who is enjoying a career renaissance of sorts this year, GOLDEN DOC A has a history as a slow stalker and a fast closer. In a crowded bunch down the backstretch, GOLDEN DOC A has a good chance to crash the board.

PICKS: EIGHT BELLES (WIN); PROUD SPELL (PLACE); GOLDEN DOC A (SHOW); COUNTRY STAR.

AP: New study: 58 percent of black children can't swim

What do you want from me?

Bo Kunkle isn't the only former jock/coach vying for Tila Tequila's love.

Another is Dumont, NJ and former Ramapo college softball standout Lisa Rizzo (left).

Interestingly, according to a Ramapo Record feature on her as a graduating star catcher, states:

As for the future, Rizzo has some plans.

“I’d like to be guidance counselor for emotionally disturbed children. As long as I can help kids, I’ll be content. I’d also love to get into coaching,” said Rizzo.

I don't know what's more shocking - the career path she actually chose to persue or the fact that a college softball catcher is, in fact, a lesbian.

She was actually a damn good player. Some highlights from the Record article:

• During her freshman year, she was named to the National Collegiate Athletic Association East Region All-Tournament Team. She had a .348 batting average, with eight home runs, 10 doubles, one triple and 26 RBIs.
• The next year, she had a .367 batting average, with 23 hits, two doubles, three home runs and 14 RBIs. She was named to the NCAA East Region All-Tournament Team and the NJAC 1st Team All-Conference.
• Last season, she had 41 hits on 119 at bats, with a .345 batting average. She had eight doubles and 27 RBIs. Rizzo was also named to the NJAC 2nd Team All-Conference.

Only in Scarborough Country.

OHH HOO HOO He got you good, Mika, you ignorant, stupid, no-good woman!!

Stupid women know nothing about sports.

We aren't going to get into the whole Bissinger rant because we are a day late. That's what we get for going to see the President. (FYI- you haven't lived until you've seen Jared Lorenzen up close).

Anyway, lost in the shuffle was this little piece done by a colleague of Illuminati's over at phillyburbs, Mike Sielski.

"For example, during an interview on WIP in 2005, Bissinger suggested Jim Thome was a steroid-user, because Thome was injured and his production was way down. The next day, I criticized Bissinger in a column for making the accusation without offering any evidence."

So, let's figure this out. Printing pictures of Matt Leinert doing a beer bong (even though the pictures are indeed real) is bad journalism. Accusing a potential HOFer of using steroids because he is a having a bad April is acceptable. You can accuse anyone of anything as long as you don't make jokes about their man breasts or say the F word. You must also stay out of the personal lives of athletes.

Let he who has not made himself famous with a book about the lives and family issues of 15-18 year old kids cast the first stone.