Which is less surprising: Tony Mandarich’s admission that he used steroids while in college at Michigan State? Or Ricky Williams saying he’s still tempted to smoke weed?
Next thing you know, Clay Aiken is gonna tell us he’s gay.
OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!
The Intriguing and Injured AFC North (WFNY)
According to the AP via Philly.com, based on an appellate court decision, former NBA "star" Jayson Williams "can use details about a racial slur uttered by an investigator in the manslaughter case" against him.
Williams was acquitted of aggravated manslaughter in 2004 but convicted on four counts of trying to cover up the 2002 shooting of a hired driver at Williams' Hunterdon County mansion. The jury deadlocked on a reckless manslaughter count...The appeals court rejected prosecutors' arguments that the documents were irrelevant to Williams' pending retrial since the officer wasn't scheduled to testify and the information couldn't be used to attack his credibility...
The dispute over the slur has caused Williams' retrial, originally scheduled for January, to be pushed back.
A week ago today, the chief was on Capitol Hill as Coaches vs. Cancer joined "lawmakers, cancer survivors and the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network on Capitol Hill 'to demand that Congress pass legislation regulating tobacco products and boost the federal investment in cancer research, prevention and early detection programs after five years of flat or cut funding.'"
Here's a shot of 'Cuse's Jim Boeheim, UConn's Jim Calhoun, Alabama's Mark Gottfried, US Senator Ben Cardin of Maryland, Maryland's Gary Williams and Temple's Fran Dunphy.
Lisa Guerrero, now blogging for the LA Times, had some choice words this week for fans of her former employer, the New England Patriots, as they struggle through the Matt Cassel era in Foxboro: "And they give L.A. fans a hard time for not staying to the bitter end.
I, of all people, should not be surprised. From 1992 to 1994, I was the director of entertainment for the Patriots.
Believe me, those bleak years were anything but entertaining. Back then, they played at Foxboro Stadium...in front of maybe 20,000 fans, best known for urinating off the upper terrace and assaulting women in the dirt parking lot. In other words, this was a drunken, dirty, obnoxious crowd.
I don’t mean that in a good way.
Those fans were an embarrassment. The team stunk -- 6-10 in 1991 and 2-14 in 1992 -- and there wasn't a lot to cheer about. Remember Dick MacPherson? Exactly.
But isn't that when true fans continue to show up ... and know how to use the indoor plumbing?
Well, exit Hugh Millen/Scott Zolak and enter Drew Bledsoe/Tom Brady. Guess what? The crowds started showing up again."
I caught the Dale Jr. vs. the gorilla Amp commercial yesterday for the first time. While for some this may be old hat (Rusty), I do not watch cars going in circles.
The 800 pound gorilla metaphor has been driven into the ground so much so that I checked to see if it was the example used in Wikipedia for the definition of “cliché” (it wasn’t).
However, I must give credit to the folks at Amp for putting a unique twist on the metaphor so that it caught my eye. Or perhaps it was the fact that the family and I had just returned from the zoo and now I love gorillas because they actually moved (I knew I knew a Kenyan name).
In the end, the commercial did not mimic the 800 lb gorilla metaphor, which was most recently done by AXA Equitable Life with the talking gorilla representing retirement security. It took a page from one of the most famous Super Bowl commercials of all time that I think readers of this blog can well appreciate.
I am always in favor of physical comedy. If the gorilla would have bull rushed Dale’s nuts, I might have even tried an Amp Energy Drink.
Nets co-owner Jay Z obviously was out to embarrass the Garden State even further with this little stunt.
| Trying out for the Nets senior dance team |
According to People.com, Roger Clemens lolita Mindy McCready, after entering rehab earlier this year, was arrested for "violating her probation for prescription drug fraud in June."
According to her rep, McCready will voluntarily surrender to authorities Tuesday to serve 60 days in a Tennessee jail.
Without Paul Newman, we'd have never had this first of many uncomfortably awkward Tom Cruise video sequence.
Come on, Brett. Need a little more slurring and debauchery from you.
Show him how it's done, Charlie.
Round 10 of HHR's Iron Ref kicks off with three new fresh contestants. This week's secret ingredient is:
Awful Announcing is an independent Sports Blog written by Maryland native and James Madison University graduate Brian Powell. Powell got his start in the Sports Arena as an intern for the WUSA's Philadelphia Charge and went onto work for the Washington Wizards in early 2004. While those jobs were definitely rewarding they weren't exactly paying the bills and Powell moved into marketing for a large Homebuilder in the Washington DC Area before starting this website in May of 2006. In early 2007 Powell also signed on to be one of the many outstanding contributors to the Sporting News' new blogging project. There he provides Weekend Sports Television previews and reviews as well as many other articles throughout the week. Started as a hobby, Awful Announcing quickly became one of the most talked about and linked blogs on the Internet. The site focuses mainly on the perils and follies of the Sports Media, but also critiques and reviews those within the Sports World. The site has been mentioned on Sports Center, ESPN Radio, WFAN, and various newspapers throughout the Country.
Evan is the founder/writer of Stanley Cup of Chowder and is one of 3 Bruins fans left in the Boston area. Having recently earned a Master’s degree, Evan is over-educated and unemployed. He currently resides with his parents, making him a self-parody of the stereotypical sports blogger… and yes ladies, he is single. When he isn’t compiling lists of Olympians with names that sound like genitalia or live blogging about racewalking at 2 in the morning, Evan can be found terrorizing goalies in his beginner’s hockey league.
Ryan Hudson is an editor at RealClearSports, perhaps known best for his post about Rich Eisen and poop. You may recognize his writing from his previous position, where he issued releases about college squash. Ryan is a fan of the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics, in that order. On a related note, Ryan does not have as many friends as he did pre-2001. Ryan really hopes to win this Iron Ref competition -- he desperately needs something to prove to his dad that grad school was worth it.
Starting this weekend, Ren, Ariel and Fat Willard will be three members of a Saturday night mixed bowling league that will run through April.
Problem is, when we submit our roster opening night, we need to submit our team name. And as of right now, nothing's stuck.
So we need your help. What should HHR name our co-ed booze-infused bowling team?
TO Making It Rain.That's not enough for the world's greatest teammate. When asked if the ball was thrown his way often enough, Owens said:
"I would say no. I'm a competitor, and I want the ball.
"There were some opportunities there, and there were some opportunities there where they were holding and the refs just didn't call it. You can't blame the refs; we just didn't make the plays.
"Everybody recognized that I wasn't really getting the ball in the first half," Owens said. "I'm pretty sure everybody watching the game recognized it, people in the stands recognized it, I think my team recognized it. I didn't quit. I kept fighting and trying to running my routes and trying to get open."
Not only does Devin Hester have a girl's name, but he's ugly as sin too.
Cub Jeff Samardzija and SNL's Andy Samberg...
Over the next several weeks, HHR will be interviewing 20 and 30-something-year-olds in various careers in professional, amateur and collegiate sports to get a take on how they broke into their respective industries and to offer tips how ambitious sports-related job seekers might do the same.
Today, we interview Greg Mescall, 26, Media Relations Manager for the USA Water Polo Association. Prior to that he had stints in various sports-related positions, including PA announcing and television production. Fresh back from Beijing, Greg talks about those roles.
Name: Greg Mescall
Age: 26
Position: Media Relations Manager
Organization: USA Water Polo
College Major: Communications (Radio and TV)
Prior Sports-Related Experience:
The first groundshaking event of the college football season happened while you were sleeping last night, with USC falling to lowly Oregon State 27-21. USC was supposed to walk through the PAC-10, right?
Photo: LA Times
As for all the female attention he says, "I don’t really notice it. When I go out, go to dinner, I go out with friends, and we stay to ourselves. I don’t think of myself as a sex symbol. My mom is by far the most important woman in my life."
Greg Biffle? Really? Rusty couldn't be more surprised if he woke up with his head stapled to the carpet (name that quote, movie buffs). Well, I don't want to jump the gun, but there's no way you can NOT pick the Biff for this week's race. He's hot, smoking hot, and with two consecutive victories is now coming to one of his better tracks. The bug-eyed-dummy has 3 top 3's in only 6 starts, including a win just last year. Biff also seems to like the cookie-cutter style tracks like Kansas. Of his 14 wins, 13 have come at intermediate tracks. So, don't change your B list, go with the Biff.
Now, what about the track? Like I said, Kansas is a cookie-cutter 1.5 mile speedway. Good set-ups that utilize the air to create downforce will help guys stay up front. The last two weeks, precision in the pits were absolute musts as track position mattered so much. Not that it doesn't matter this week, but passing is much easier and more likely, so track position doesn't play nearly as big a role. Hopefully, this means better racing, so let's go!!!!
Because Kansas is a cookie-cutter track similar to several other tracks in the Chase (Texas, Atlanta, Lowe's), a driver that runs well here will be a serious contender for the title. This means that since Rusty's predicted Jimmie's to win it all, it would only make sense that Jimmie should be this week's A list driver. With 3 top 10's in the last 5 races, he's a pretty solid pick according to the numbers too.
C list? Do we still have to pick a C list driver? It's the playoff guys, these guys have no chance of winning. Ugh . . . . Paul Menard? Sure, why not.
A List
- J Johnson (48)
B List
- G Biffle (16)
C List
- P Menard (15)
Something called a "Griffin Matthews," which to the best of my knowledge is a gay Steve Urkel, "tussles with teddy bear Warren Sapp." Click here to watch the QBKilla in all his glory.
LA Times Headline: Lakers rookie Sue Yue has mononucleosis
He's had a terrible accident and apparently, the mono was caused by punitive damages that you are giving him.
"Yeah. That's the spot. A little higher. Now hug me."
You know who I'm not too impressed with right now? Carlos Zambrano...and the Mets, but that's a rant for another fan.
Guy gave up 5 runs in 4 2/3 innings Wednesday night -- one via a bases-loaded walk (his third walk in a row) -- and looked like a crazed lunatic out there, yelling at himself (and we can assume the home plate umpire) after every pitch out of the strike zone. You just KNEW he was going to give up that grand slam to Carlos Delgado because his body language screamed, "I HAVE LOST MY FOCUS AND HAVE NO SHOT OF GETTING IT BACK."
If you recall, Zambrano gave up 8 runs in 2 innings during his previous start against the Cardinals.
This is supposed to be a staff ace tuning up for the most important postseason of his career -- and of all Cub fans born after 1908's lives?
That no-hitter Z tossed on Sept. 14 seems like it happened last season, for Pete's sake. And the past two weeks typify my relationship with Z as a fan...a love-hate emotional roller coaster. He excites me and frustrates me like no other player. Of course, I want him to succeed, but I also want him to get his head out of his ass.
Lou Piniella's not doing cartwheels over Z's recent performance, either. It seems almost certain he's going to name Ryan Dempster the starter for next week's NLDS opener. Which he definitely should (if you read this blog, you know how I feel about The Amazing Dempster).
Here's Lou, on Z, in Thursday's Chicago Tribune: "...You know, I wish he would quit fighting himself out there. Just relax and pitch and have some fun. He gets angry when he doesn't do what he expects to do, and it detracts from his ability. I've tried to tell him that so many times, and he understands when I tell him. He forgets when he pitches."
Well, for God's sake, Lou, if you have to tape a sign to his locker or tie him down and tattoo it to the inside of his wrist -- whatever -- you've got to get through to this guy. He's too old and has been in baseball too long to be such a freakin' head case.
Maybe we are the only people that found this ad funny. In the end, that is all that matters.
Tarbash: Then I punch my chest...and it disappears, into the crowd!
Nightclub Manager Lady: You punch your chest and it disappears into the crowd...that's it?
Awful Announcing: David Blaine Is Letting Kimbo Slice Punch Him On TV Tonight
I won’t spoil the fun but there’s no illusion involved to this bit. David Blaine simply stands in the middle of the cage, lifts up his shirt to prove he’s not hiding any protective material, and asks Kimbo to punch him. And after? Kimbo is wowed by David Blaine’s resistance to his gut shot.
Lebanon. 9/11.LEBANON- A southcentral Pennsylvania woman's concealed-weapons permit has been revoked after other parents complained about seeing her carrying her loaded handgun at her daughter's soccer game.
Meleanie Hain says she's fighting the revocation by the Lebanon County sheriff.
Hain told the Lebanon Daily News she's always openly carried a firearm without any problems in the past. She received the revocation notice and a warning from local soccer officials after the Sept. 11 game.
Soccer coach Charlie Jones says parents were upset by Hain carrying her gun at the game.
Sheriff Michael DeLeo says openly carrying a weapon to a youth soccer match shows a lack of judgment. DeLeo says he'll restore her permit if a court decides he was wrong.
Sports Center kicked off this morning with the Saux celebrating their playoff birth and a story questioning the status of the Bombers' decisions to pursue championships in recent years via free agency, and at the expense of their farm system.
Questions surrounding the future of GM Brian Cashman's tenure with the Yanks and the impact on the club his decision would bear, were featured in yaesterday's column by Buster Olney.
Meanwhile, this afternoon in Trenton, NJ, Cashman joined Yankee CEO Lonn Trust and Trenton Thunder officials in announcing the Player Contract Development Contract (PDC) agreement reached between the Yankees and their double A affiliate to run through the 2014 season - a six year deal, almost unheard of in Minor League Baseball.
Cashman and Trust, after a formal announcement and ceremonial contract signing, went on to talk with print and television media. We are working on uploading some audio files, but here are some interesting segments...
Asked how the success of the Thunder, back to-back Eastern League champions, translates in relation to the development of the big league club, Cashman responded:
"Fans come out to support these teams and it's our job to come up with quality talent to run through and develop. We have a player development program that we're executing that's first and foremost, and obviously if you can win on top of that, all the better, and especially for the affiliate. It gets real tough to try to sell a quality product if you're not putting a quality product on the field."Cashman goes on to note a change of attitude in the club:
"There's a willingness in New York to give young players an opportunity, which opens up opportunity. I think there has been a change in the organization where we're not afraid to live or die with giving some young kids an opportunity and we've seen some positives and negatives with that, but I think it's the better way to go."And finally, some kind word's for HHR's hometown:
"Everyone of our guys that has played here, has enjoyed playing here. That's not always the case in all the minor league affiliates where when they go through somewhere, sometimes people don't look forward to getting there because they've heard nightmares of that area or the community. That's not the case in Trenton. It's a wonderful place to play, a great place to spend the summer whether you're a fan whether you're working for the yanks as a manager, coach or player."Come spend you're summers in Trenton, our staff will show you a good time.
Duke is a 6.5 point favorite in this week's game vs. Virginia, the first time they have been favored in six years.
From the Daily Press:
The Blue Devils have lost 25 consecutive ACC games, 61 of 64 this decade. From 1999-2003, they lost 30 straight conference outings. They haven't had a winning season since 1994 and haven't beaten Virginia since 1999.Next thing you know, the Washington Generals will be giving points to the Harlem Globetrotters.
According to my trusted gambling source, Professor Nappy, this marks the first time Duke has been favored against a conference opponent since the 2002 season finale against North Carolina, a game the Blue Devils lost.
From today's Associated Press:NEW YORK - Six retired NFL players are among a dozen athletes who agreed to donate their brains to study the long-term effects of concussions, The New York Times reported on its Web site Tuesday night.Former New England Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson, one of the players who committed to the donation, hopes Boston University’s Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy can help clear up the debate on the issue.
“I shouldn’t have to prove to anybody that there’s something wrong with me,” Johnson told the newspaper.
All across the country, the weather is turning a bit cooler, leaves are starting to change colors and, with conference games coming soon to a stadium near you, we finally have the prospect of the end of these ridiculous cupcake nonconference games. And yet with the season less than a third of the way through, we already know a few things. Some bad things. Just as every silver lining has a dark cloud, here’s the lowdown on the lowlights of this week in college football.
1. Country Roads to Nowhere?
Is it too early to start pressing the panic button on the Bill Stewart (six-year) era at West Virginia? Probably. But that won’t stop me from doing it anyway. It’s not just that the Mountaineers are 1-2 this season. It’s that they’ve looked so decidedly sub-par. In all fairness, WVU did show signs of life in the “John Denver Bowl” vs. Colorado last Thursday. After giving up two quick TDs, the defense shut out Colorado for thenext 55 minutes. Pat White and Noel Devine both went over the century mark in rushing. And White’s 39 yard TD run in the fourth quarter was a thing of beauty. But WVU had no passing game whatsoever (10-15 for just 43 yards; White actually had minus-five passing yards at halftime.) They were just 3-of 13 on third down conversions and had 91 yards in penalties. Even the rushing numbers are a bit misleading as anyone who watched the game saw that the Mountaineers offense was lethargic, unimaginative and, worst, predictable.
Look at the numbers:
| 2007 (Rank) | 2008 (Rank) | |
| Total Offense | 456 ypg (#15) | 303 ypg (#95) |
| Rushing Offense | 297 ypg (#3) | 164 ypg (#50) |
| Scoring Offense | 39.6 ppg (#9) | 25.5 ppg (#71) |
“Leon, meet Adolf. I’m sure you’ll have lots to talk about.”
Florida State’s next coach?
From PearlJam.com: At the request of Ernie Banks, Eddie threw together a song for the Cubs ("All the Way"). He got a pretty good live version of it at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago this August. It's now being played on Chicago radio and at the Bleacher Bars around Wrigleyville. We have decided to make the song available for download - you can get it here. There's a chance we'll also make available some hard copy CDs and we're looking into souvenir 45 singles, as well. Check back here for the latest.
---
Not to be outdone, the fine folks at Preston & Steve at Philly's WMMR offered their own take on the single, especially edited for our Fightins'. And, unlike Pearl Jam, theirs is free.
Audio: The Phillies Will Go All the Way
Over the next several weeks, HHR will be interviewing 20 and 30-something-year-olds in various careers in professional, amateur and collegiate sports to get a take on how they broke into their respective industries and to offer tips how ambitious sports-related job seekers might do the same.
Today, we interview 23-Year-Old Sports Agent Darren Heitner, CEO of Dynasty Athlete Representation. Dynasty's clients include a number of prominent professional bowlers, college coaches, baseball players, models and actresses and soon football and basketball players.
Darren Heitner has more experience in the sports agent industry than most people that are more than twice his age. He has created the first sports agent blog on the internet, SportsAgentBlog.com, which receives upwards of 5,000 unique visits per day from agents, athletes, media sources, and the general public. In the blog, everything from contract negotiations to endorsement deals are examined, providing the framework for a great deal of information upon which he has been able to depend.
The New Orleans Saints lost again this past weekend, this time to the Denver Broncos and by just two points. If you missed the game, they came back from a huge deficit and then Martin Grammatica blew a kick.
While normally I'd love to pin this one on Martin, mainly because he is more out of place in an NFL uniform than George Plimpton and his celebrations are made more for bowling alleys than football fields, I can't.
Once again, the Saints defense - the secondary in particular- has let them down. I thought everyone was in agreement that this secondary, while riddled with injuries, still couldn't get the job done. Then I read this article in the Times-Picayune. According to beat writer Jeff Duncan, the defense didn't do half bad and if it hadn't been for some miraculous catches by Brandon Jennings, perhaps Naw'lins wins this game.
Thanks for frosting the cake, Jeff, but the fact is (and I have no real facts on this) the Saints secondary routinely allows big play after big play in crucial games. It has been their achilles heel ever since they were a game shy of the Super Bowl against the Bears. They can score points with the best of them, but they just can't stop giving up big play. Like the hooker who can't stop buying drugs from her pimp, it's a viscious circle.
The video we posted yesterday of Mary Jane Rottencrotch at the Eagles game, might have wielded a diamond in the rough.
Illuminati posted the link over at phillyBurbs.com.
This morning, commenter Terry noted: "That one chick was on survivor she went to prendy I think she won. The brunette with curly hair. She was on MN.live on Comcast last year.
Bad career move."
Rewind to last month and a post by Michael Klein at Philly.com, Inqlings: 'Survivor' catches Phil's pitch:Latest curve: Righthander Kyle Kendrick is pitching woo to Survivor alum Stephenie LaGrossa, who is back out there after a short marriage.
I hate to spread rumors as much as Kendra, does, but I think we might be on to something. Was Philadelphia native and Monmouth University grad LaGrossa partying it up on Sunday in this infamous clip?
Kendrick, who turns 24 later this month, met LaGrossa, 29, when he visited Gigi's in Old City with teammate Shane Victorino. LaGrossa, her brother Philipp and partner Sean Glynn bought the restaurant-lounge earlier this year. Stephenie LaGrossa also sells ads for WRDW (96.5).
Top 10 Most Infamous Moments At Yankee Stadium (RCS)
From Hef's GF's MySpace blog on her relationship with Eagles WR Hank Baskett...
Monday, September 22, 2008
| yaaaa trick yaaaaaa |
Today, Alabama's Mark Gottfried, Connecticut's Jim Calhoun, Syracuse's Jim Boeheim, Maryland's Gary Williams and Temple's Fran Dunphy "will join with lawmakers, cancer survivors and the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network on Capitol Hill "to demand that Congress pass legislation regulating tobacco products and boost the federal investment in cancer research, prevention and early detection programs after five years of flat or cut funding," according to a release by the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network."
As part of Coaches vs. Cancer, the gentlemen will be on the Hill at 8:30 a.m. CT at Russell Senate Park, Swamp Press Area.
the chief will be on hand to gather intel and photographic documentation.
"The Miami Hurricanes are the beast of college football. A sports powerhouse unlike any other, they are a dynasty fueled not by indiviudals but by the aura of "the Miami Vice" - a swaggering, trash-talking, us-against-the-world mentality."
Somewhere in America sits a man named Ray Lewis. Undoubtedly, Mr. Lewis is seething to stab Warren Sapp repeatedly in the heart with a butter knife, and most red-blooded American college football fans would find this totally justified, whether they care for the U or not.
Today on Gem Mint Ten:
Alright Boys, Act Like Catchers
"Thanks" to the Sports Complex for this video of these poor man's -Ollie girls (sad) "celebrating" the Birds' win over the Stillers yesterday.
See you at Chickies.
After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.
For the Brett Favre fan that has everything...
Get your US Mint "All Time GREAT" coin which "features a meticulously detailed portrait of Brett Favre complete with his certified reproduced autograph and the Statue of Liberty beautifully embossed on the reverse."
"Certified reproduced." Interesting.
And by "officially licensed" they mean "just short of the point where we can use the official Packers' logo."
Bet these coins end up in the wrong people's hands - just like a Favre pass.
Click for commercial video link.
We often belittle the accomplishments of Tony Romo here at HHR. Sure, the Eagles proved last week that Cowboy Tony is the lucky recipient of a solid line, backfield and receiving corp, and when pressured he fumbles in the end zone, throws costly picks and misses a wide open MB3 in crucial situations.
However, yesterday's victory over the previously-undefeated Aaron Rodgers-let Pack at Lambert, proved once and for all that Romo is the greatest Mexican quarterback to ever strap on an NFL helmet. And we are finally ready to crown his ass. Yesterday, Romo passed now-benched Jeff Garcia and backup J.P. Losman for the honorable distinction.
As the New York Yankees prepare to close the Renovated Not-Quite House that Ruth Built tonight, the most storied franchise in sports will parade out a caravan of nostalgic players and images for the Bronx faithful (and the world) to marvel over.
Unfortunately, those players and images only tell half the story, as several people and images will likely be absent tonight.
Allow us...
Ian Poulter & Rod Stewart
Ben Curtis & Pee Wee Herman
Jim Furyk & Montgomery Burns
From the Massachusetts State House News (subscription required):
UNDERAPPRECIATED CAMPAIGN FACT OF THE WEEK: Sen. John Kerry, who whupped up on challenger Ed O’Reilly in Tuesday’s primary, has on his Senate website a picture of himself standing outside a Burger King, posed in a group of people. There’s the senator, and to his left a pleasant-looking elderly woman, another guy, a second pleasant-looking elderly woman, and then a gentleman with curly, red hair who appears to be wearing a “Kennedy” campaign sash and you realize that it’s … Boston Globe sports columnist Dan Shaughnessy. Shaughnessy – who wrote, “So there. For the 86th consecutive autumn, the Red Sox are not going to win the World Series” 11 days before the Red Sox won the World Series – looks slightly dazed in the No word yet on whether Kerry’s GOP challenger, Jeff Beatty, plans to counter with a Curt Schilling pic.Can you imagine if Kerry was president and this scandalous picture came out? Mass outrage and rioting would occur. It would be like finding photos of President Bush golfing with Louis Farrakhan, and giving him a high five or something. Good God.
On Lalor Street, not far from the Mercer County Waterfront Park, the home of the Yankee's AA affiliate, the Trenton Thunder, I saw the following glossy, new billboard:
I had to laugh.
What are you saying, Troy?
We crossed into new territory yet again with Iron Ref. After all the votes had been counted, we had a TIE between the Russianator from 3 Idiots on Sports and Mike Hayes from Steady Burn.
At one point we even had a tie after counting votes coming from after 5pm. So we did what any democratically-conscious institution would do - we kicked the decision to a small group of people behind closed doors to decide for the masses.
In this case, we asked the previous 9 winners of Iron Ref to cast their votes between the Russianator and Mike Hayes. In the end, the Russianator prevailed.
So congratulations, you idiot.
Not that you care, but one of my favorite things to do is to update Your Fantasy Team Sucks. It's basically a recap of a fantasy league that some HHR staff participate in, and that you'd never heard of until now. Why do I share this with you? Because it is my outlet for my fantasy rage.
Sure I could take it out on myself and spend sleepless nights second guessing everything I've done, but what does that accomplish? It feels much better to ridicule my friends, question their capacity for reasoning, and deem their wives harlots.
But there's another reason I share this with you. You need a space for your rage too. No one comes up to you at work and says, "Tell me what's wrong with your fantasy team and who's really to blame!" And if they do they are usually an annoying assclown named Chad who is burying everyone in his league. Including you. Well HHR says Screw Chad.
So start emailing the chief at angrybeers at gmail or the general HHR email with a few choice nuggets of rage at your players, team, league and we'll post 'em after the games. You want a place to vent? Now you got one.
Every week HHR wants to post what you hate about your fantasy team. Or better yet, why someone else's team sucks (like Chad's for instance). Your insecurity is powerful and your hate will give you strength. I am so totally feeling the Emperor from Star Wars right now. The Dark Side was the balls.
What a week, huh? After starting the month by losing 6 of 9 and looking very much askew, Carlos Zambrano comes back from the near-dead to throw a no-hitter against the hottest team in baseball, and then the Cubs work some crazy voodoo magic to take two-of-three from the Brewers and bring their magic number down to 2.
If I wasn't, you know, a lifelong fan of this stomp-on-your-heart franchise, I'd think this was their year or something.
Have any of you figured out what exactly happened Thursday at Wrigley Field? If so, e-mail me at stillinshock(at)whatthehell(dot)com.
From what I can glean, the Cubs were down by FOUR with TWO outs and NOBODY on in the bottom of the NINTH. And they ended up winning, 7-6, in 12.
This from a team that often seems to shut down and hold on after it gets a lead in the fourth or fifth., a team that strands baserunners left and right, a team that let a parade of mediocre relievers keep it in check Wednesday night in a 6-2 loss. We haven't seen this kind of fight out of these Cubs since that ridiculous nine-run comeback against the Rockies on May 30. Can you remember back that far?
Actually, I don't know whether to laud the Cubs here or laugh at the Brewers. Is it just me, or did the Brew Crew have, like, 10 zillion chances to make this a race down the stretch in the NL Central and/or run away with the Wild Card? Yet here they are, having to pretty much sweep the rest of the season to make the playoffs.
There's got to be something mystical at play here. I don't see how any team can fail to take advantage of the opportunities the Brewers have had, ESPECIALLY Thursday's 6-2 lead and countless late-inning rallies, unless its planets are misaligned or its karma is out of whack. Or it doesn't have strong leadership, or its bullpen really stinks...
You want to talk curses? Don't look at the Cubs. They've been pretty darned fortunate all year long. If they don't reach the World Series this year, it'll be because there is a hotter, or healthier, NL team at that time. Not because of any stupid curses.
If I'm a Brewers fan, on the other hand, I'm really searching the stars right about now. (I've got bad news, folks. From personal experience, praying does not help your baseball team.)
Ol' Rev' went 7-3 last week, running the season record to a respectable 22-8 mark. Key among the wins last week were a pair of SEC matchups when we took both Georgia (at So. Carolina) and Auburn (at Miss. State) to win on the road. Road wins definitely do not come easy in the SEC - Auburn's brutal 3-2 win in Starkville is evidence of that.
There are some great matchups this week between ranked teams, so the top 25 will see some upheaval after all the games are done. Normally I would be locked in for hours watching football this weekend, but this weekend is unlike any other. I'm probably a bigger golf fan than football, and with the Ryder Cup going on in my backyard, football stands no chance. In fact, I'm watching the Ryder Cup right now, and don't plan to move from the couch until this thing is settled.
I do have some picks for this weekend, which I will be checking on in between holes at Valhalla.
Here you go:
10 points: #13 ALABAMA (3-0) v. Arkansas (2-0): Maybe Bama is this good. Bobby Petrino's Razorbacks have squeaked by in their first two wins, but this will be a major test for them. I like the Tide by about 9 or so.
9 points: Central Florida (1-1) v. BOSTON COLLEGE (1-1): Central Florida played a good game vs. South Florida, but I'm throwing that one out since they were obviously amped up because of the rivalry factor. I'm taking the Eagles at home.
8 points: IOWA (3-0) v. Pittsburgh (1-1): Before this season started, you could easily say this was a matchup of two head coaches battling to keep their jobs. After a 3-0 start, Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz is on marginally better ground than when the season started. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt, however, still has a ton of critics after letting his Panthers slip out of the top 25. I'll take Iowa in a pinch.
7 points: Notre Dame (2-0) v. MICHIGAN STATE (2-1): Michigan State seems to have had the Irish's number as of late, and I'm not too impressed by ND's win last week vs. a defenseless Michigan at South Bend. Take the Spartans in this one.
6 points: VIRGINIA TECH (2-1) v. North Carolina (2-0): I think the decision to play QB Tyrod Taylor was the right one for Hokies' coach Frank Beamer - his running/improvisational style fits VT style much better than the drop-back play of backup QB Sean Glennon. Butch Davis has the Tarheels looking good, but I think they drop this one in a very close game.
5 points: #4 Florida (2-0) v. TENNESSEE (1-1): Upset special of the week. I have no justification for picking the Vols here because the Gators are clearly the more talented team. However, strange things always seem to happen in this game. Vols win this game late on a long field goal. At least that's what I'm hoping for, or else I'm going to look like an idiot.
4 points: MIAMI (1-1) v. Texas A&M (1-1): This is a toss-up. I keep hoping the 'Canes will reestablish themselves on the national scene, because college football was great when they were the villians everyone tried in vain to beat. Taking the 'Canes in this one.
3 points: #18 Wake Forest (2-0) v. #25 FLORIDA STATE (2-0): Wake announced their arrival as a player in the ACC a couple years back by winning this game convincingly in Tallahassee. However, I sense that FSU is starting to make somewhat of a revival, and I like them in this game at home.
2 points: #6 LSU (2-0) v. #9 Auburn (3-0): It's awfully tough to take Auburn after their game last week. Their defense looked great, no doubt - but as good as the defense was, the offense was equally anemic. They're going to need more than 3 points to compete against LSU this week, and I'm just not convinced they can score enough to keep pace. Taking the Cajun Tigers here.
1 point: #3 GEORGIA (3-0) v. #24 Arizona State (2-1): A lot of pundits have looked to this game as the early season hiccup that trips up Georgia's quest for a national title. Judging by how Georgia played last week against South Carolina, it seemed as if they were looking ahead to this game, so I definitely don't think they'll be caught off guard. I don't like that they have to travel all the way to Arizona, but I think the Dawgs have the firepower to prevail in this matchup.
Season Record: 22-8
You would think news of an 11-time Olympic swimming medalist would be news, especially given the explosion of news coverage following Michael Phelps' 2008 performance.
Resident Olympic expert Cadillac Mescallade pointed me to Matt Biondi's Wikipedia page today.
Apparently, Biondi "died" on September 11 of this year in a place called "Gaebarr" (get it?), Hawaii.
CM poked around Google, Yahoo and the NY Times and has found no other reference to the swimmer's passing (nor any reference to any place on the globe called "Gaebarr."
Screencap: 5:05 PM EST, 9.18.08
Get to Know HHR: interview at The Big Picture.
Tale of the Tape: Yankee Stadium v. TRL (Extra Mustard)
As the Mets bullpen fends off nightly collapses, Carlos Delgado makes the most improbable run for MVP we may have ever seen, and the Amazins' continue to teeter on the brink of destruction or an NL East crown, at least the fans at Shea Stadium are sending the old place out right.
At a recent game one super fan apparently ordered the meal of one 'Shea Shausage' and 17 beers. After passing out everyone in his section, led likely by his best friend, began messing with this guy by stacking cups on his head. Please view the nearly ten minute video (it is worth all ten minutes) as fans ignore the action on the field and pose for pictures with this passed out diehard.
Kinda makes the old magic marker peeshaleen on the forehead seem juvenile don't it?
H/T: NY Daily News
Now, this is just funny, y'all.
Thieves made a fast getaway after taking three NASCAR racing engines from a well-known race shop in Mooresville.What in the world do these rednecks expect to do with these engines? If Rusty was still sheriff, he'd be looking for the first broke-down FORD (Found On Road Dead) jalopy on the side of the road smoking, with 3 drunk-as-a-skunk Matt Kenseth fans standing around it.
Police say someone broke into the Roush/Yates engine shop and got away with three of the big Ford engines used by the team in the Nationwide and Truck Series.
Yours truly recently participated in the fantastic running feature, "Blogger Interviews," at The Big Picture.
To learn a little about how we tick, click the link below...
A little known sports fact is that pitcher Bruce Springsteen, best known for being rocked by Craig Nettles in the bottom of the 9th of a 1985 sandlot game, went on to have a moderately successful music career. Among his hits was a tune called "Dancing in the Dark." Coincidentally, the video for that song featured the future Mrs. Courtney Cox Arquette, best known as the wife of former WCW World Heavyweight champion, David Arquette.
As ugly as he looked on the mound, Springsteen was an even uglier dancer, as evidenced by said "Dancing in the Dark" video choreography rehearsals:
Thanks to Used Wigs for the video.
Man, oh man, the first Chase race sure brought us some excitement, huh? First, as Rusty predicted, the wheels came off the 18 team, almost literally.
And a little sidebar for those who still whine about watching cars turn left for 3 hours. Kyle's car broke a bolt that helps racecars get through the corner, essentially making the 18 perform much more similar to our street cars at high speeds. Look at how his car turns over going through the corner in the video.
Compare that to what normal racecars look like going through the turns, and that gives you an idea about the intense G-forces at work, and the engineering behind making these cars go fast.
And then counter to what Rusty predicted, the Biff sure came out of nowhere to steal the win from Jimmie Johnson, huh? I don't reckon anyone saw that coming. So, the standings got a little mixed up going into Dover this Sunday, and it's pretty much still anyone's chase.
Dover is called the monster mile, and for several reasons. It's narrow, and the concrete surface tends to eat up tires, kinda like Rusty on a plate of barbeque. It's a monster to drive, it's even called "Bristol on steroids". Just this past June, an early race incident took out a whole slew of competitors. With Kenseth and Busch coming off horrible finishes at Loudon, and others wanting to establish themselves, look for this to be quite heated battle on those high banks.
Now, my sources are telling me that Dover's never been to friendly to the also-ran's, which might make it especially hard to put together a winning fantasy line-up this weekend. Nine of the 12 drivers in the Chase are in the A Grouping, so . . . . that means the A list pick could be a real crap shot, and the C list pick is nothing more than groping around in the dark.
Well, let's mix it up and start with the C List pick, since it's gonna really just be like throwing darts at the wall. Rusty's going back to Reutimann this week. Short tracks seem to treat him a little better than most, having got a 1/3 of his top 10 finishes from tracks a mile or shorter. Seems like as good a dart as any.
Of the three choices, our B list might be the simplest cause there's only 3 Chase drivers in the group (Shrub, June-bug, & the Biff). It's made simpler by the fact that Biffle is coming off a win, and hasn't finished outside of the top 10 at Dover since Fall 2005, racking up 3 top 5's in the process. He's also a previous winner at Dover, winning the Spring race in 2005, and with a 12.6 average finish in 12 starts, he's a solid solid choice . . . (Rusty still maintains he won't finish higher than 10th in the final standings, though).
And now the crap shoot. Carl and Jimmie are both still pretty daggum hot. To be honest, Jimmie should have won at New Hampshire, but whatever. Carl might be the better choice at Dover this coming weekend, though. Both have won there, but Carl more recently, having won the Spring race last year. Similar to his teammate Biffle, Mr. Ed's been tearing it up on the concrete lately. He's amassed 4 consecutive top 3 finishes. Barring an act of God (or Kyle), I imagine he'll be right up there in the thick of things again this weekend. So, roll those dice and take Cousin Carl!
A List
- C Edwards (99)
B List
- G Biffle (16)
C List
- D Reutimann (44)
7 Plays Dumber than DeSean Jackson (InGameNow)
I was waiting to see if this was updated on a more regular basis, but then figured why the hell not mention it now. You see, like you I was a HUGE fan of Tony Homo. Let's be honest - that overconfident, vulnerable, ignorant and insecure athletic voice is missed on the interwebs (aside from Peter King of course). Fortunately, Totally Tom Brady has found the internet in his spare time and given us the affectionately titled More Like Matt Ass-Hell.
If you've ever had multiple ligaments in one knee ripped from the bone and torn into shreds, you know just as well as I do - it fucking rules. There is no feeling like the adrenaline rush that comes when you rip your insides apart in public. It's like having surgery performed without anesthesia but you get to wear a helmet. That is some serious thrill-sauce, amigos. And this is coming from a guy who's banged supermodels while dangling from a helicopter over a shark tank filled with -yup, you guessed it - more supermodels. Totally insane-in-the-alfresco.
I normally like to rely on ESPN.com (among other websites) for my sports news when I'm on the interwebs. To be fair, they are generally timely, informative, and often have things I am interested in reading.
Imagine, then, my surprise when I click upon this link stating that the Vikings have named Gus Frerotte their starter in place of sucky Tavaris Jackson.
This can't possibly be true.
First, they are claiming that Frerotte is still in the NFL - which is a stretch to begin with. Didn't this guy suffer a career ending injury by mashing his head into a stadium wall to celebrate a touchdown some 5 or 6 years ago?
Now they are gonna add on that he is starting?
I love a good fake news story as much as the next guy (see: The Onion), but you'll have to wake up a little bit earlier in the morning to try and sneak one like this past the folks at HHR.
I'm gonna go with Carolina this weekend in the Metrodome.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)
In Paul Shirley's post today at ESPN.com, he alludes to the fact that as a professional athlete, your work environment is inherently unlike any other profession. To those familiar to his off-the-court work, this echos most of what he discusses in his entertainingly cynical book, "Can I Keep My Jersey?: 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond."
Back to today's piece: Paul also notes the health problems athletes face, as well as the internal dilemmas they cause as they are forced to ponder their careers vs. their future physical well-being. He goes as far as to allude to the possibility of hanging up the high tops next season. If this were to happen, chances are NBA fans would be unaffected. However, fans of his literary career might very well be rewarded.
Case in point, this money quote:
"Playing basketball with other humans is closer to dating those humans than it is to simply working with them. For starters, there's lots of physical contact. Simplistic, I know. But imagine coming into work, stripping down to your skivvies, and then rubbing your groin against the back of someone's leg. Sounds a little personal, doesn't it? Well, that's what we learned basketball types call playing defense in the post."
Sir, please remove your junk from my hip. Thank you kindly.
I know it's way too early to start assigning big, dramatic names to things. Neither the division, nor even a playoff berth, has been clinched. Get cocky now, and you know what big, dramatic name we'll have for October: Suicide Time.
But just for today, I'm dubbing Kerry Wood's 3-2 offering to Prince Fielder in the Cubs' 5-4 win last night, "The pitch."
Holy crap, that was a tense moment. And Holy God, that was a nasty pitch. (Or, what's the baseball-insider jargon? Filthy?).
Wood himself has a name for that pitch. He called it a "slurvy slider" in Paul Sullivan's Chicago Tribune game story.
Yeah....wasn't that the pitch that launched a thousand Wood injuries back in the late 90s? Whatever. Fielder didn't know what the heck to do with it, and that's all that counts. Because the Big Veggie looked like a one-man wrecking crew on Tuesday night, with two home runs and a near-double down the right field line that Mark DeRosa -- who's proving a very capable fill-in for Kosuke Fukudome -- snuffed out with a diving catch.
Wood, a former starter, has developed a very closer-esque flair for the dramatic lately. It's almost as if he's trying to face the other team's biggest home run threat with two outs and runners in scoring position. Remember Albert Pujols coming up with two outs in the last game of the Cardinals series? How about Ryan Howard in the first game of the Phillies series? Wood shut them down, both via the very democratic popup.
Last night, with runners on the corners and Fielder locked in, Wood pulled out that pitch. THE pitch. Strike 3. Magic number 4. Two more wins over the Brewers in the next two days, and 100 years of postseason futility will be put to the test.
That sounded kind of cocky. But we'll allow that -- just for today.
Welcome to Round 9 of HHR's Iron Ref. We've got a tasty batch of goodness for you this week so let's get right in. Remember to vote for one of these dishes in the comments!
This Week's Secret Ingredient: DIVINE INTERVENTION
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Dr. C
It was what you would usually suspect for a January Sunday in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Temps barely holding above zero with winds whipping about.
The type of day where if you're a Packer fan, you expect to stay in and drink PBR watching the Pack unless you had tickets to heaven on earth for any cheesehead.The hallowed grounds where Nitchske, Starr, McGee, White, and most importantly (as a Bears fan I have to hold back my vomit) Brett Favre.
It was on this day in the year of our lord 2003 that the Packers and the Seahawks met up for wild card match-up at Lombardi Stadium. The game ended in a 27-27 tie when the team's captains met at the fifty-yard line to decide the coin flip.Let me be honest here: A: I hate the Packers, and B: I love athletes that exude confidence.
When Matt Hasselbeck uttered the words "We want the ball, were gonna score" I laughed to myself. You better back that up I thought, as the Seahawks readied for their first possession in overtime.
And at this moment I would imagine, God began to get a flood a prayers from northern wisconsin. Some coherent, most not that generally had the same message that they hoped would be answered from a power above.
"Please God, let the Packers win. Let them show up that cocky ball-headed prick from Seattle who thinks they're going to score in the holiest football mecca of the NFL. Nobody says those things in the house of Lombardi".
And while God was too busy laughing at the prayers of the inebriated, green and gold clan Wisconsinites...it happened.
Hasselbeck went to throw a quick out to his receiver when Al Harris immediately jumped the route, picked off the pass and delivered
the hopes and prayers of the thousands in attendance and the thousands around the US who love the packers.
The Green-Bay Press Express felt the same way when they wrote their sports headline: Divine Intervention.
And for this I still hate the Packers.
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Mike Hayes
I'll use this opportunity to discuss divine intervention to tear apart the abomination that was lionized, golden-boy Michael Phelps' performance hosting SNL this past weekend. Here was Phelps playing himself in 'The Charles Barkley Show' skit, with Kenan Thompson mailing it in as Barkley:
Kenan: Hey! Michael Phelps, speak in a jamaicaccent and pretend to be You-Sain Bolt?
Phelps: I really think that's a bad idea
Kenan: Ho! Yeah, me too.
Riveting stuff. To be fair, after Obama canceled, SNL did stick Phelps with a crack team of cameo-stars that included Shatner and Jared Fogle - who he thanked as Jared Foglelynn (who?) in the outro.
Mos people think it was Tina Fey's smashing performance as Sarah Palin that got Mr. "eight this year, 12 total, and a couple of bronzes for shits and giggles" a free pass. My theory as to why: Weezy, baby!
Lil' Wayne had a backing band, wore purple hipster jeans fully off his ass, and he absolutely killed it. Here's 'Got Money', I've got 'Lollipop', and his VMA performance up on Steady Burn too.
A little background on Wayne, he is not well. He drinks codeine cough syrup mixed with cream soda constantly - sounds like a cavity waiting to happen, among other things. Earlier this year, Blender.com tried to predict when he would meet his demise. (And then they ran a cover story on him in their magazine that portrayed him as our greatest living rock star).
Those of us driven enough to bring ourselves to the point of competing at a high level (those of you, actually), know that achieving sports glory has less to do with a higher power, and more with perseverance and a diet of 12,000 calories worth of robot food per day. The gods tend to thrust themselves into less calculated, more crap-shoot life situations - which has made it possible for me to land the occasional piece of trim despite the fact that I haven't gotten a haircut in '08, and my only stratagem is to persuade girls that they do want to hook-up with Jesus.
Or in this case, a too-tall awkward phenom lays an egg on national TV, and gets bailed out by a pathological, volatile maniac who could spontaneously combust any moment. Now, that's what I call divine intervention.
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The Russianator
So many things come to mind when you mention the words "divine intervention" and sports in the same sentence. Doug Flutie's Hail Mary, the Immaculate Reception, Lorenzo Charles dunking Dereck Whittenburg's airball, I haven't even made it past 1984; the list could go on forever. All of those things all fine, but they only really prove one thing – one person's miracle is another's screw job. The people in Buffalo feel a lot differently about the Music City Miracle than the people in Nashville do.
True divine intervention is about an inspired event that makes everyone, not just one team, happy. Let's be honest, a good old fashioned press conference meltdown from a coach is really a gift from God.
Angry old men, completely losing their shit in front of TV cameras and reporters while discussing a game that kids play is the true definition of entertainment. However, these wonderful moments of rage do not occur in a vacuum, we need divine intervention to make them happen.
Divine intervention is the moment God inspires a reporter to ask Jim Mora about the playoffs.
Divine intervention, not poor on-field performance, is surely what motivated Jennifer Carlson to write a story about Bobby Reid that gave us this rant:
Divine intervention is what happens when a New York City reporter becomes momentarily stupid enough to ask Herm Edwards if his team can win games:
And surely it was divine intervention that brought Kevin Borseth into our lives. Did any of you honestly think you'd know who the women's basketball coach at the University of Michigan was, until God intervened and gave us this? I didn't think so, and that my friends, is the true definition of divine intervention.
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The Rev was on site at Valhalla Golf Club today, site of the 37th Ryder Cup which begins Friday. Thousands attended the first practice round today; the crowd was very polite today, but it was obvious the place is set to explode once the matches start later this week.
Here are some scenes from the day:
Kentucky golf rock star Kenny Perry and U.S. captain Paul Azinger
British Open and PGA Champion Padraig Harrington
Hole no. 18
One thing that bears mentioning in this year's unceremonious firings of playoff chasing managers Willie Randolph and Ned Yost: both we're brought about by the play of the Philadelphia Phillies, as much as the lack thereof of their own respective clubs.
AP: "But the team has gone into a September slump. After being swept in four games in Philadelphia, the Brewers dropped into a tie with the Phillies for a wild-card spot in the postseason...After the weekend series with the Phillies they decided the managerial change had to be made."
Yahoo!: "Randolph’s job security had been unstable since September, when the club suffered arguably the biggest regular-season collapse in baseball history, blowing a seven-game standings lead to the Philadelphia Phillies with 17 contests remaining."
Yet for a few years now, the Phillies, to the dismay of many Fightin' fans, can't seem to figure out a way to give their own manager the boot.
The Associate Press reports today that "Former New York Giants star Mark Ingram has been sentenced to more than seven years in prison for bank fraud and money laundering. It's a third term behind bars for the one-time NFL standout."
"Ingram pleaded guilty in November 2005. His sentencing was delayed as he tried to revoke the plea, fired several attorneys and missed hearings."
According to PolitickerNJ the fraud and laundering charges included cashing counterfeit checks, some of which "were drawn on the Trenton Democratic Committee during the 2001 gubernatorial campaign, based on copies of checks used to pay election day workers."
Ingram's son, Mark Jr., is now a running back with Alabama.
A Cowboy fan taking advantage last night of the NFL's month-long promotion of immunity for fans caught illegally sneaking into stadium.
While USC and Oklahoma fans are busy checking flight and hotel plans for the national title game, Throw the Flag, HHR’s resident cynic is back to report on the uglier side of Week 3 in college football.
1. The Rise and Fall of Rick Neuheisel, Version 3.0
Calling it first to worst would be a stretch, but what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on at UCLA? Two weeks ago, they knock off Tennessee in a thriller and (a few) people are thinking, “Hey, maybe the USC monopoly really is over” (well, not really). But then the Bruins venture east to face a good BYU team. And proceed to have their worst loss in 75 years. BYU not only shut out the Bruins, but hung 59 on them, including an unreal 35-point second quarter. 59-0, and it could have been a lot worse as the Cougars pulled their starters and let off the throttle, mercifully not scoring in the fourth quarter.
So which is the real UCLA: the ones who rose up to slay the giants from the SEC? Or the ones who played more like blocking dummies against BYU? We shall see. But with upcoming games against Fresno St., @ Oregon, @ California, @ Arizona State and USC, I’m betting on the latter.
Image: guttylittlebruins.com
Image: thewizofodds.com
Photo: spartantailgate.com
Yeah, the Jersey City Colored Athletics shirt seemed a wee bit inappropriate.
Well, the fine folks at Google infiltrating our email must've taken note and are trying to pawn off "Horry Kow" tees to us.
Click to enlarge...
Let us know what you think in comments.
Which do you find more offensive/inappropriate?
Most of the time, as Cubs fans, we find ourselves having to cope with the Unexpected Bad Thing (UBT).
You know, we let our beloved Mark Grace go win a World Series with Arizona. Or, we trade for Nomar Garciaparra and he blows out his hamstring after a week. Or, Sammy Sosa takes his corked "batting practice" bat out for a real AB and turns from hero to zero in a flash. Or, we're five outs from the Series, and...you know where I'm going with this. You obviously can go back into our history and find countless excruciating examples.
At points in the past two weeks, it looked like this season might turn into one big UBT.
So Sunday was really strange, because absolutely everything went our way. And there's no way we could see it coming.
The Phillies swept -- or more like manhandled -- the Brewers in a day-night doubleheader to take some of the pressure off this week's Cubs-Crew series at Wrigley Field.
Meanwhile, in Milwaukee of all places, our ailing ace no-hit arguably the hottest team in baseball.
Carlos Zambrano had done nothing over the past 1 1/2 months but give us headaches and heartburn and make us want to consider pill-popping as an alternative hobby to baseball fandom. He stunk in August. Then, he started to stink AND show signs of his old immature antics in September. Then, for about 24 very frightening hours, as we awaited the results of his MRI, we thought he might be hurt and done for the year.
It was "only" shoulder tendinitis, we were eventually told. In Cubs fan lingo, another freaking UBT.
Sunday was Big Z's first start since that revelation. He faced the Astros, who embarrassed us on our last homestand with a three-game sweep and had compiled the best record in the bigs since the All-Star break.
He threw a no-hitter. And not only was it his first no-hitter and the first by a Cub in my lifetime, but according to a SportsCenter graphic I saw this morning, it was THE FIRST NO-HITTER IN BASEBALL HISTORY BY A GUY WITH A LAST NAME STARTING WITH Z!
AP Photo
Round 9 of HHR's Iron Ref kicks off with three new fresh contestants. This week's secret ingredient is:
The Russianator is neither Russian nor an "ator." By day, he's a mild mannered, moderately successful public relations professional and when he gets the time, co-editor of a blog only his Grandmother reads, 3 Idiots on Sports. When not spilling forth witty commentary, dopey pop culture references and rants about Syracuse University sports, he often spends time brain storming ways to make camel racing America's past time. A proponent of the 3 Ms – mustaches, mullets, and machismo, Russianator feels the world would be a better place if everyone drove El Caminos and referred to themselves solely in the third person.
Dr. C is a graduate of Southern Illinois University. He spent 4 years there as a Sports Anchor/Director. After deciding he didn't want to cover rodeos working 50+ hours a week making 20K in Buttfuck, Montana he decided to return home to Chicago. Dr. C is a real nickname he goes by for claiming to have a Ph.D in bullshit. He writes for Chicago Bull, where directs most of his hatred at Juan Uribe, and hopes one day to have a Jack and Coke with Kyle Orton.
Mike Hayes is the mastermind behind...wait, start again – anyone who refers to themselves as a mastermind is clearly, irrefutably a retard. Mike is the guy behind Steady Burn, a blog dedicated to fringe athletic prowess (there's a heaping lot about roller derby and kickball on this site). Though he wouldn't call participating in HHR's Iron Ref the greatest achievement in his life, it is certainly on par with the time he was playing campus golf (which is exactly what it sounds like) on the school grounds of his alma mater Fordham University, and a tour group passing by stopped to watch him place a flush sand wedge through the archway of the school's beloved Keating Hall. Every kid on that tour enrolled in the Fall, and since that day Mike has been lethargically pursuing a position as a pro caddy on the LPGA tour.
The majority of the HHR staff was born and raised in the Garden State, and none of us can remember this team.
The Chase is here! NASCAR's innovative playoff system. Seems to me that if NASCAR can figure out an equitable playoff system for stock car racing, the NCAA could come up with a solution, but we'll leave the Rev to stand on that soap box.
So, 12 drivers made the chase, and now Rusty will try and handicap the competition and give a few tips for our dedicated readers.
1. Kyle Busch (18) - The shrub has been hot all year. He's had 8 victories in just the Sprint Cup alone. Compiled with his 10 wins in Nationwide and Trucks, there's no way to argue he's not been the hottest driver this year. The Chase presents several tracks where the shrub's already won this year, 'Dega, Hot-Lanta, and Dover, but Rusty just does just not have a good feeling about his chances. When the shrub doesn't do well, he really doesn't do well. And when added together the Chase doesn't present a great overall picture for him. Kyle only averages a 20.5 average finishing position on the 10 tracks of the Chase. It ain't the worst, but it ain't the best. Rusty predicts a strong 10 races, but shrub will slip. Prediction: 4th
2. Carl Edwards (99) - Ole Carl has quietly snuck up to the 2nd position going into the chase. He's had 5 victories this year, and a few exciting battles with the shrub this summer. Mr. Ed averages a 14th place finish at the 10 upcoming tracks, giving him a little bit of an advantage over the shrub. The chase is also full of intermediate tracks, where Carl excels; places like Kansas, Lowe's, Atlanta, and Homestead. A trophy might be in Carl's future, but not sure it'll be the Sprint Cup. Mr. Roids just moved into 2nd place in the Nationwide series, only 207 points behind leader Clint Bowyer. That 2nd place might be an omen, cause that's where Rusty's predicting he'll finish here in Cup. Prediction: 2nd
3. Jimmie Johnson (48) - Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2008 Sprint Cup Champion! Jimmie is hot, pure and simple. WIth back to back victories in pretty dominant fashion, the driver of the 48 is peaking at the right time. Like Carl, Jimmie also excels at the intermediate tracks, including an almost uber-dominance at his sponsor's home track, Lowe's Motor; 5 victories in only 14 starts. That means he's won over a 1/3 of the time he's been on the track in Concord, NC. Jimmie also has one of the best average finishes at the 10 playoff tracks, a 10.4 After 2 consecutive years being the bridesmaid (2003, 2004), Jimmie is now knocking on the door of history. Jimmie is the two time defending champ (2006, 2007), and only 1 driver has ever won 3 consecutive championships; Cale Yarborough (1976 - 1978). Jimmie will join Cale, this year. You can count on it! Prediction: Champ
4. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (88) - What a comeback year. There were big questions for June-bug moving from his daddy's team to the powerhouse of Hendrick Motorsports, but with 3 wins and staying top 3 in the points throughout most of the year, Rusty's pretty sure most questions have been answered. Now, little E's been a little off these past few weeks. For whatever reason, he just doesn't do well throughout the summer. However, starting this past week with Richmond, Junior's got some stronger tracks coming up, including 'Dega, where he's recorded a series best 5 wins. Overall, he averages a 16th place finish for the Chase. Not too shabby, but as much as it may pain me to say it, I just don't see him offering a realistic challenge for the championship. He probably needs another year learning the Hendrick organization. He'll finish with at least another victory, though. Prediction: 3rd
5. Clint Bowyer (07) - Now, I'm not going to say that anyone doesn't belong in the Chase, but Clint's going to be the closest thing to not belonging. This Kansas boy's one victory comes from the shrub punting my boy from the lead at Richmond; Clint was just in the right place at the right time. So, I just don't know that Clint's a serious challenge for the title. He qualified for the chase 12th, but will jump to 5th because of his one victory. Now, I say all that, but we must remember last year. Clint qualified for the chase without a victory in 2007, only to lay down a dominant performance at New Hampshire to take his first checkered flag of the season. Clint found something in the chase, and finished a career high 3rd in the points, albeit 346 points behind champion Jimmie Johnson. Don't bet your biscuits on a repeat performance, this year, though. Clint will slip down in the standings, and fast. Prediction: 11th
6. Denny Hamlin (11) - The fellow Chesterfield-ian (not even sure if that's a word) is on a Earnhardt hot streak. He's posted 3 consecutive 3rd place finishes, and is on fire coming into the Chase. That's the problem, though . . . Denny's been streaking this year. There's not much middle ground for the driver of the FedEx Toyota. When Denny's not finishing in the top 10, he's typically been in the back half of the pack. Hamlin's got an average finish of 14.9 over the 10 upcoming tracks and 2 wins. He starts with his best track in New Hampshire, but follows that up with his two worst. Winning the Championship is all about consistency, and that just didn't seem to be Hamlins mantra through the first 26, and I don't reckon it will be through the next 10. Prediction: 7th
7. Jeff Burton (31) - What a nice guy. I mean, I just don't know if you can find a nicer guy than Jeff Burton in this collection of the 12 best. Unfortunately, niceness don't win championships. However, i just talked about how consistency does. Jeff might be the most consistent driver over these next set of tracks. He averages between an 11th and 19th place finish on the Chase tracks, that's pretty darn consistent. With a combined average of 15.5, though, not sure that consistency is good enough to cut the mustard. Add that to the fact that he's in a bit of a slump lately, only 2 top 10's and an equal number of DNF's in the last 10 races, and you get a guy not really in a position to mae a serious challenge for the Cup. Prediction: 8th
8. Tony Stewart (20) - Tony's one of two former champions in the Chase without a victory this year, although the current slump might be hitting Smoke a little harder than the other guy. Tony's had great cars, and gave us one heck of a show at Richmond this past weekend. However, a late pit stop left him in the 2nd spot and unable to catch Jimmie who took the checkers just ahead of Tony. To say Tony wasn't happy at the end of the race would be quite an understatement. Tony looked madder than the Ole Ball Coach after 4 picks in the season opener against Rusty's Wolfpack. Looking at the 10 upcoming races, Tony has to feel confident about finally getting into victory lane. He's had a win at every track except Talladega, though he's been there in the Nationwide series. So, look for Tony to get a victory . . . or two, but he'll also have a few slip-ups, and probably only move up a few spots. Not a serious title contender this year. Let's hope it doesn't take him too long to get going with his own team, next year. NASCAR won't be the same without Tony running up front. Prediction: 6th
9. Greg Biffle (16) - Bug eyed dummy!!!! Man, I miss Sterling Marlin. Yeah, Biffle will challenge at Dega, he might do well in Atlanta, and he'll probably even win at Homestead, but other than that, he ain't going to be near the front. If you're a betting man, and want a long shot, here's your boy. He's got the talent, and he's shown some flashes of brilliance, but just not long enough to really challenge for the Cup. He'll fall slightly from his current 9th place position. Prediction: 10th
10. Jeff Gordon (24) - Jeff's had some bad luck and some bad cars, and for a myriad of reasons, he's yet to take the checkered flag this year. That's not to say that he won't be mount a challenge for the Cup. With the points now reset, Jeff is only 80 points out of first place. That doesn't bode well for those above him, cause Jeff knows how to get to victory lane, and he knows how to win a championship. Jeff's really going to put up a fight. Take a look at the numbers. Jeff averages an amazing 12.17 place finish over the 10 Chase tracks, has recorded 32 wins, 107 top 5's, and 146 top 10's. When you average that out over his 233 starts, that's a win nearly 14% of the time, a top 5 over 45% of the time, and a top 10 nearly 2/3rd's of the time. Those are some stats. Jeff might not have found victory lane in the first 26 races, but he'll find it at least once, maybe twice over the next 10. The 24 team is going to be a tough bunch of guys to beat. Prediction: 5th
11. Kevin Harvick (29) - Happy Harvick started hot this year, and he's on a bit of a hot streak right now. In the first 5 races of the year, he had 4 top 10's and a 14th place finish in the 500. In the last 10 races, he's racked up 4 top 5's and 7 top 10's. Like ole Jimmie, Happy seems to be peaking at the right time. Now, all that being said, I just don't see a serious challenge from the driver of Dale Sr.'s former ride. He averages a top 10 finish on only one of the 10 chase tracks, Homestead, and figuring that's the last race, might be a little too late at that point to mount a serious challenge. To top that off, when the 29's been bad, this year, it's been really bad. Kevin will finish higher than he qualified, but he won't challenge for the Cup. Prediction: 9th
12. Matt Kenseth (17) - Yeah, not a chance. Matt has struggled with a crew chief change this year. Rusty's pretty darn amazed he's even been able to make it into the Chase, but again that shows what consistency can do for ya. Matt's not had any DNF's this year, although he's also not had any wins, either. He may do well at a few tracks, including getting off to a good start at New Hampshire, but he'll fade. Prediction: 12th
Spencer Tillman said it was Reet Petite...
I'm in Heaven when he smiles.
Newly-married Fat Willard reported back to us this week from his honeymoon in San Fran about constant news reports out in Cali of hippie tree-sitters still preventing the construction of the Cal football training facility in Berkley.
On a campus with a long history of demonstrations and radicalism, the 21-month tree-sit ignited fierce reactions. Cal football fans were enraged over the delays to the training facility, while some environmentalists decried the plans to remove trees from the urban campus.Finally, after a 649-day sit-off, Armando "Mando" Resendez, 20; Ernesto Trebino, 18; Raul "Huck" Colocho, 27; and Michael "Shem" Schuck, 26, "voluntarily climbed down from an 80-foot redwood next to Memorial Stadium."
The 42 of them galvanized three lawsuits, national media attention and the longest urban tree-sit in history, which has lasted since late 2006. Now nearly all the trees that once towered above the grove near Memorial Stadium-save for a lone redwood-lie in a heap.Hippies be warned:
AP Photo
The Rev’ went 8-2 last week, bringing HHR’s season record to 15-5. Keep in mind, however, that two of those losses came by picking against the feisty East Carolina Pirates. ECU has a decent program and a nice football tradition – I remember going to the ECU-Navy game at Annapolis several years back, and I remember how shocked I was at how well their fans traveled to see their team, who at that time was merely a C-USA also-ran. Well, also-ran no more. After blasting Va. Tech and West Virginia in consecutive weeks, they are clearly players on the national stage in the same sense that other non-BCS schools like Hawaii, Boise State and Utah have crashed the party in recent years.
By the way, did anyone catch the early season ACC-Big East loser bowl last night? North Carolina absolutely crushed Rutgers in Piscataway. Not a great start for the Big East this year. Maybe they ought to think about extending an invitation to ECU...
This week’s list of picks features a lot of top-flight teams playing on the road. And I’m taking a lot of those teams on the road. This could be a make-or-break week for HHR pick ‘em: Here we go:
10 points: #5 Ohio State (2-0) at #1 USC (1-0): Let’s just go ahead and get it out of the way. This is by far the biggest game of the young 2008 college football season and I hope it lives up to its billing. I’m giving the edge to USC for two obvious reasons – one, the Trojans will play tough in front of the home crowd, and two, the Buckeyes will be without the services of injured tailback Beanie Wells. Both teams feature defensive units that are among the very best in college football, but I just don’t think that’s going to be enough to keep Ohio State hanging around. Trojans in a walk.
9 points: Iowa State (2-0) at IOWA (2-0): Iowa State is 2-0 after posting wins vs. South Dakota State and Kent State. Meanwhile, the Hawkeyes have walloped Maine and Florida International to remain unbeaten. Anyway you cut it, I’m not real impressed by either. The Hawkeyes are playing at home and laying 12.5 points to the rival Cyclones. I like Iowa to win the game but think Iowa State to cover the spread. How’s that for taking a stand!
8 points: UCLA (1-0) at #15 BYU (2-0): Looking back at UCLA’s opening week win against Tennessee, I can’t help but think that the Bruins were luckier than hell to escape that game with a W. I think there’s a reason West Coast teams keep scheduling the Vols and making them travel cross-country, because the boys from Rocky Top usually lay an egg when forced to travel three time zones away. I think the Bruins used up a half-season’s worth of luck in their week one win. The Cougars should roll in this one.
7 points: MICHIGAN (1-1) at Notre Dame (1-0): I hated Charlie Weis’ excuse about his “to hell with Michigan” comment that he was somehow honoring late Michigan coach Bo Schembechler. Please. Just grow a pair and admit the obvious.
6 points: #14 OREGON (2-0) at Purdue (1-0): The Ducks are a touchdown favorite on the road this week. Plus, did you know Purdue hasn’t beaten a ranked opponent in 14 straight tries? Take the Ducks on the road.
5 points: #2 GEORGIA (1-0) at South Carolina (1-1): The Ol’ Ball Coach built a career beating the Bulldogs – in fact, he sprung the upset in this game last year. Not this time around – Georgia’s going to lose a few games in the SEC, but not this week.
4 points: GEORGIA TECH (2-0) at Virginia Tech (1-1): Georgia Tech is impressing early, especially with their win last week at Boston College. Plus, no one can convince me that all is well in Blacksburg. Until the Hokies prove me wrong, I’m going to pick against them.
3 points: #9 AUBURN (1-0) at Mississippi State (1-1): Quietly, Auburn clocks in as one of the best remaining teams in the college football top 10. Of course, the last time they quietly plowed through a season as the best team in the top 10 you’ve never heard of, the Tigers got hosed out of a shot at the national championship. MSU is better and will continue to improve, but I think Auburn’s got a bit too much firepower this week.
2 points: #3 OKLAHOMA (2-0) at Washington (0-2): Tyrone Willingham must have done something egregiously wrong to the football gods while he was at Notre Dame, because nothing has gone right for the man since he was dismissed as head of the Irish. Case in point: last week’s crushing loss to BYU when QB Jake Locker was flagged for excessive celebration after scrambling for a late touchdown to pull the game within one. It was a horrible call – he wasn’t taunting anybody, it was just a case of a part-time college referee taking his Saturday day job waaaay too seriously. Anyway, no rest for the weary: Oklahoma is real good and they’re going to send the Huskies to 0-3. Ouch.
1 point: #10 Wisonsin (2-0) at #21 FRESNO STATE (1-0): Here’s the upset special of the week, although I think the two teams are a lot closer than their respective rankings indicate (Vegas has the line at -1.5 for Wisconsin). Fresno State has a reputation as a giant killer, especially when they are playing at home. Just a hunch, but I’m taking the Bulldogs over the Badgers.
SEASON RECORD: 15-5
A late version of this week’s truths as, like many of you, I couldn’t bring myself to turn on my computer for fear that yet another of my fantasy football players would be injured. Anyway, on to this week’s trouble spots.
1. Ohio State—Taking the Easy Way Out
A week after feasting on in-state “rival” Youngstown State, the Buckeyes had another tune-up against in-state “team” Ohio Bobcats. You know, the ones playing with a backup QB who nobody knew his name because his afro covered up the name on his jersey. The ones who had five turnovers and yet were still leading by two with 14 minutes to go. Yeah, those Ohio Bobcats. Were the Buckeyes looking ahead to USC? Perhaps. Were they missing Beanie Wells (what kind of nickname is Beanie for a football player, anyway? Sounds more like a trust fund baby frat boy in the Ivy League)? Sure. But, dude, you’re still Ohio State. You shouldn’t be letting your little brothers hang around with you like that. It’s embarrassing for both of us. Take that game with you to LA this week and see how it works out for you. On the plus side, you won’t have to worry about getting whipped in the BCS title game by an SEC team again.
2. You Don’t Mess Around with Jim (or Mack)
Will someone please explain to me why some pissant little schools seem bound and determined to have themselves throttled into oblivion by the Texas Longhorns? Two weeks ago, Howard “water is for the weak” Schnellenberger decided it’d be a good idea to call Texas “soft” the week before his Florida Atlantic Owls took on the Horns. 52-10 later, Schnellenberger crawled back onto the team bus and, most likely, into a bottle. Then this week, Texas ventured to the wild environs of border town El Paso for a game against the UTEP Miners. Now let’s get this straight—you are UTEP. That’s University of Texas at El Paso. You are not in the same area code, social circle or tax bracket of the Longhorns. And yet, for some inexplicable reason, the Miners administration wasn’t content to call it Texas vs. UTEP. Nooooo, in all the pre-game hoopla coming out from their athletic department, UTEP insisted on referring to the tilt as “UTEP vs. UT Austin,” as if the game was some kind of meeting of equals. Little hint: it wasn’t (42-13).
Twisting your opponent’s name can be fun if you’re rivals or on a somewhat level playing field (Oklahoma fans like referring to the University of Texas as TU just to watch Horns’ fans faces turn Sooner crimson). But as the song says, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind.” And while I’m not saying Mack Brown is Superman (more like Robin to Bob Stoops’ Batman, although I don’t want to see either one in spandex), it’s still generally not wise to call down the thunder upon yourself.
3. This Just In: Bo Pelini is Not God
Let’s get one thing straight—the national media types don’t know the first thing about football fans. I mean, they’re the same ones who can use the words “Rutgers,” “football” and “tradition” in the same sentence without giggling. So when you hear some east coast media type saying, “Nebraska fans expect to win championships and win them now,” know that the closest he’s been to Nebraska is 30,000 feet and likely couldn’t find the place with an atlas, two energy bars and a corn detector (note to self: invent corn detector). Husker fans are some of the most knowledgeable ones out there—they’re not naïve enough to think that the Bill Callahan era can be undone in two games. Yes, they certainly want to get back to the championship level. But in 2008 what they want to see is hard work, coaching adjustments and improvement.
Well, two out of three ain’t bad. Most observers I’ve talked to say the effort is definitely there, with many mistakes coming as a result of being too aggressive (e.g. over pursuing a running play, late hit, etc.). And Lord knows the defensive coaching in Huskerland is a step or twelve up from last year. But the Huskers escape over San Jose St. (won 35-12.; Huskers led just 14-12 with 12:08 to go) was, to use the real estate parlance, “a unique fixer upper opportunity.” The Huskers had more penalty (103) than rushing yards (99) and were outyarded by San Jose St. 353 to 315. At one point, they had three consecutive false start penalties. Yes, the Cornhuskers took a step backward against San Jose State. I still think Bo will get the Huskers turned around and return them to their glory days. But Husker fans are going to have some patience with this team.
4. Rules are Rules and are Meant to be Broken. Or Something Like That.
Which is worse—bad rules in college football? Or fans who incessantly whine about the bad rules when a violation of one hurts their team? Much has been written about the excessive celebration penalty against Washington QB Jake Locker in the closing seconds of the Huskies’ loss to BYU. I won’t get into the sense (or lack thereof) of the NCAA’s excessive celebration rule. But it’s on the books—fans should know about it, Jake Locker should know about it and Ty Willingham should definitely know about it. So don’t whine about the rule or blame the refs who enforced it. Don’t make excuses like, “Oh, he just flipped it over his shoulder” (that ball had more hang time than some punts on Saturday). Just suck it up and point the finger where it belongs--blame your special teams who allowed the ensuing PAT to be blocked.
Here’s hoping for a better Week 3. But I’m not holding my breath.
We are testing out a new Blogger feature that we saw on the Google blog. Blogspot/Google users, check out the "Huggies" widget just below our Facebook box on the right, and follow HHR.
Gotta love HHR's State University.
First we noted last year that at the one game we made it to against Navy, Rutgers fans felt the need to boo cadets and greet them with chants of "You Suck."
This year, we learn of the Soprano-esq underbelly of the program that, in a state with one of the worst economic situations in the countries, has circumvented public transparency by granting Coach Schiano an additional paycheck "through indirect payments that were never publicly disclosed."
We heard of stadium woes affected by "skyrocketing prices for fuel, concrete and steel."
Well, guess what football fans? We're New Jersey. We do what we want.
Getting drubbed by UNC on national TV?
Eff you.
From FanIQ: Rutgers Students Classy As Always, But Who Doesn't Want To Give ESPN The Finger Sometimes
The Chase is on, and here comes Rusty up the back stretch (not really, but it's a good song).
NASCAR begins its version of a playoff system this coming weekend at Loudon. The Chase is a unique playoff system for racing. After Richmond, the top 12 drivers qualify for the chase. The point totals of those 12 drivers are then all brought up to an even 5000, separating them from the rest of the pack. 10 bonus points are then assigned to each driver based on the number of races won over the season (Busch won 8 races, get 80 points, and so on). So, in the end, you get 12 drivers only 80 points apart from each other racing for the championship over a 10 race playoff. In the words of June-bug, "that's awesome!"
Later this week, ol' Rusty will give you his predictions and handicaps for the entire set of 10 races, but right now, it's time to focus on New Hampshire.
The flat track of New England is a unique beast. First, it's flat, only about 12 degrees worth of banking in the turns. Second, like Martinsville, it's shaped like a paper clip. The turns and straightaways are almost identical to one another. This creates a single groove race track where track position means a lot. There's not much passing here, so being able to qualify up front will really put a driver in a better position to win. But to qualify well, you really need to get a later draw, just ask Patrick Carpentier. The later guys have the advantage of the rubber laid down on the track by the first set of qualifiers. So, what in the dickens does that mean for your fantasy team?
A list is probably the easiest pick. Denny Hamlin is the only driver among those in the chase with an average finish in the top 10. With 1 win, 2 top 5's, and 4 top 10's in only 5 starts, Denny averages a 6.8 finish up yonder in those Yankee hinterlands. That's perty darn good, making this pick a snap.
B list gets a little hairier. No one really stands out in Rusty's mind. So, let's look at the numbers. Ole Ryan Newman doesn't look too shabby, and Ryan's barely been used out of Rusty's stable this year. So, why not? He's got 2 wins, and 8 top 10's with only 13 starts. Ryan seems to like the flat tracks, cause he does pretty well at Martinsville too, which is the most similar track to the flatness of New Hampshire.
Okay . . . . C List . . . the chances of getting a winner outta here is like the chances of Rusty getting a date with Carrie Underwood (wouldn't that be sweet, Lumpy!) So, we are just looking for a good finish. Well, of the guys on the C List, Reutimann might be the best at present. He actually led a good bit of laps at Richmond last week, and seems to be on a streak of good finishes. He's had back to back top 10's!!!
There you have it!
A List
- D Hamlin (11)
B List
- R Newman (12)
C List
- D Reutimann (44)
Steelers fans issue a storm warning (via The Band) to Cleveland fans (and ironically Houston, too)...
Nicky Zierenberg better watch the hell out, as well.
THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes, or in their offices; secretaries, businessmen and women, military and federal workers; moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror.
The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge structures collapsing, have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed; our country is strong.
A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.
America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.
Today, our nation saw evil, the very worst of human nature. And we responded with the best of America -- with the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.
Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our government's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in New York City and Washington, D.C. to help with local rescue efforts.
Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the world from further attacks.
The functions of our government continue without interruption. Federal agencies in Washington which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight, and will be open for business tomorrow. Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business, as well.
The search is underway for those who are behind these evil acts. I've directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.
I appreciate so very much the members of Congress who have joined me in strongly condemning these attacks. And on behalf of the American people, I thank the many world leaders who have called to offer their condolences and assistance.
America and our friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against terrorism. Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me."
This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day. Yet, we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.
Thank you. Good night, and God bless America.
While Moore admitted that he was on the buffet line, he says he didn't see anything and that nothing happened.
Here's a CFB story only Redskins fans could truly appreciate...
From the AP/Sporting News:
Steve Spurrier's newest strategy for No. 2 Georgia? Two quarterbacks and a bunch of young receivers [emphasis mine].I think the Palmetto Scoop's Adam Fogle lays out just how optimistic this strategy is:South Carolina's coach ended much of the mystery as to which of the quarterbacks would start against the Bulldogs (2-0). He said he would probably play both Tommy Beecher and Chris Smelley.
The Head Ball Coach announced today that he would go to a two-quarterback system against the University of Georgia this weekend, hoping to rebound from a catastrophic loss to Vanderbilt. Those two quarterbacks will be Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher, who have combined for a woeful six interceptions in two games.Should we be surprised? This is the same ball coach that swore an NFL team would be just fine going to the mat with the 3-headed monster of Danny Wuerfell, Shane Matthews and Patrick Ramsey. We all know how that little experiment turned out.
Hang on tight, Cock fans. You're in for a helluva ride.
Turns out I wasn't the only high profile sports figure at the RNC Convention last week. Aside from avid outdoors-woman/sportscaster/high school hoops standout, Sarah Palin, I observed the following...
AP Photo
HHR Photo
AP PhotoNeighbors called police about 2:30 a.m. Friday about a fight at an apartment in the city about 30 miles northwest of Raleigh. The fight was over, but officers followed a trail of blood to Fliehr's apartment. She told police the men had fought but it was over and things were fine. Officers found the 59-year-old Flair, whose real name is Richard Fliehr, on a bed in the back room. The boyfriend was in another part of the apartment. Flair admitted fighting with the boyfriend but he didn't want to press charges, Gunter said. Gunter refused to give the boyfriend's name because he was not charged.
Mad Dog and Mr. SJP.
On the heels of the greatness that is Most Extreme Challenge comes the adaption of yet another Asian Game Show, this time it is called "The Hole in the Wall" and it debuted on Fox last night.
Despite the complete stupidity of the entire thing I found this show tremendously entertaining, though only when watched through DVR (as the dramatic commercial breaks can be done without). If anyone missed this show it is on again Tuesday evening on Fox and I advise you to check it out.
Real simple: two teams of three face off in three different rounds. The first round is one vs one, the second two vs two, and the third three vs three. The contestants stand on a runway with a pool of water behind them as a large styrofoam cut out approaches them. They have to contour their body to fit through this space or otherwise get pushed into the drink. This is where the humor comes in as generally people can't get in position in time and get thrown into the water, the hi-lite of this comes in the upcoming previews where a very large woman has no shot in hell of fitting through any of the shapes. I can only hope they keep booking large people for this show because watching them try to fit through shapes would never get old.
A few questions...Why the lifeguards? The pool is about 4 feet deep. Why the ill-fitting silver suits that are a throwback to the Missy Elliot "Rain" video? Nobody looks good in these. Why must the announcer say the same exact thing everytime? And why is he perched above the crowd like some kind of sea captain searching for land? If we could fix these problems, this show would be fool-proof.
aroused 
