Sunday, November 30, 2008
Almost a year ago today I wrote: "As the sports world spends the day mourning the passing of Sean Taylor, my family and I spent the holiday weekend mourning the passing of a close relative, a WWII veteran and great man in our lives. While our idolization of sports stars and celebrities helps us to escape from the reality of our lives, in honesty, it is just that - a fantasy."
This morning, Outside the Lines, in the wake of the latest Plax Burress fiasco, featured its look on "Athletes and Guns."
Ironically, among the incidents mentioned in the ESPN piece was the 2005 Sean Taylor gun charges.
Hours later the Washington Redskins, as so many in the nation's capital are fond of doing, re-wrote history. More specifically, they propagated that aformentioned fantasy, as they inducted the gun-waving, sobriety test-failing, Michael Pittman-spitting Meast into their Ring of Honor, which "which honors those who have made distinguished contributions to the team."
Sure, it's a shame that a man who rarely flaunted his wealth, had few enemies and hung with a pristine crowd was the target of a totally "random" robbery.
But does untimely death negate every bad deed, every low-class action and socially harmful behavior a person commits enough to create the bullshit assertion that this person deserves to be honored in the most reverant way the team has?
What does that say about the organization and the fans that support it?
Mourn Taylor, don't honor his deeds.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Man, this month has flown by!
Tomorrow is the last day to donate to the fight against prostate cancer as Movember comes to an end. There is still time though, so click on the HHR team page here.
For a good five year stretch, his #85 Browns jersey stood proudly in Quakerbridge Mall beside Eagles and Giants greens and blues.
And then, it was gone. The jerseys and the player.
Despite being the Browns' leading receiver since being drafted, his inablity to coexist with then-coach Butch Davis lead to his being cut by the team, and subsequent downfall from NFL stardom.
While at first the transacton perplexed football fans, and fueled rumors that he would soon be an Eagle, stints with the Ravens, Jags and Lions proved unfruitful and Johnson, now at age 32, has been out of the game for 3 years.
The best idea anyone had was that he punched his ticket out of the League for being a malcontent.
Thus, I found it disheartening as he channeled his inner Al Bundy to pen a piece for this year's 50th Anniversary of the Hamilton HS West (Johnson's alma mater)/Steinert High School annual Thanksgiving Day game:
I cannot help but smile and laugh thinking of the “We’ve got Kevin, Yes we do, We’ve got Kevin, How about you?” chanted by the Hamilton fans in my senior year or the importance to my teammates and I that we win every Thanksgiving Day game.His humble reflection on family, tradition and community brings this once bright, shining star back to earth and leaves some locals wondering, "What the hell happened to his guy, that, only a decade after his being on top of the world, he's sitting in Trenton with the rest of us this holiday?"
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Ultimate Fan Guide for the Lions Thanksgiving Day Game (The World of Isaac)
Land diving not for the weak (Brahsome)
Lebron will fit in just fine in New York (Cuzoogle)
Rinku Singh's Windup and Delivery (PSAMP)
Got extra cash? Buy a bowling alley (Steady. Burn)
The 13 Best Gobble Gobble Games Ever (In Game Now)
Get personal in the office (9 to Fried)
Humanitarian awards sure have changed (Epic Carnival)
Photo Evidence That Meth Ain't Bad For Everyone (YepYep)
Brooke Burke wins DWTS so let's appreciate her amazing body (Bright Black Internet)
Why Kanye West is Awesome (the Jebbica)
Grandma gives birth to her triplet granddaughters (Afrojacks)
Sexy Thanksgiving Dinner (Gunaxin)
Geezers are hip and with it (Observation Bubble)
Let's talk about chicks man...
Porn Stars, Toilets and Redneck Roller-Coasters... Top How-to Videos (The Bachelor Guy)
Britney Spears December 2008 Rolling Stone pictures (Celebridiot)
Leann Rimes: All Grown Up & Looking Fine (MoonDog Sports)
1. Win One for Ty. Or Not.
Thanks to the brilliant foresight of FSN, the entire country was able to see last week’s Washington/Washington State game. Fortunately for them, there are enough people across the country who like watching train wrecks to make the game palatable. The Sporting News put it best, when they called the game “essential viewing of the most desperate sort, like watching two homeless men fight over the last can of Sterno in an alley. You'll hate yourself for watching it, you really will ... but you won't be able to look away, either.” Really, as bad as these teams are, was there really any way for it to be decided but a missed field goal in the second OT?
Secretly obtained photo of Washington special teams practice.
Washington still has one chance to save its season with a 12/7 game at California. Anyone want to take that bet?
2. Remember That Time When Notre Dame Was Relevant?
Early in the fourth quarter, Notre Dame led Syracuse by a score of 23-10. And then the epic choke began. Syracuse came back to win 24-23. So which is the worst part of this week’s loss for Notre Dame?
(A) The Domers had more penalty yards (50) than rushing yards (41)
(B) They had their first loss ever to a team with eight losses.
(C) The ND players were pelted with snowballs from their own “fans” (and I use that term very loosely)
(D) The Irish likely played themselves out of an invite to the Gator Bowl in sunny Orlando and into a trip to the Sun Bowl in El Paso.
(E) All of the above.
The Sun Bowl is nice, but it’s no Olive Garden Never-Ending Pasta Bowl
3. No Cupcakes on This Thanksgiving Table
Florida vs. The Citadel?!?!? What the hell?!?!?! This is the time of the year for turkey, dressing and enough desserts to make your coronary arteries beg for mercy. September is the month for cupcakes. Get it right, Gators.
In a follow-up to a story we wrote about last week, Florida State safety Myron Rolle was one of 32 American students to be awarded a Rhodes Scholarship last Saturday. He received the word at 5:22 pm EST, had a police escort to the airport and were airborne at 6:15. Rolle made it to College Park, MD and, courtesy of another police escort, was at the stadium and suited up late in the second quarter. Florida State then rolled to a 37-3 victory.
Congrats to Mr. Rolle. It’s very rare that I get to use the phrases “bigtime college football player” and “police escort” in the same story and have it actually be something positive.
Rolle had an even better day than this guy.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
NFL Power Ranking courtesy of our friends at NE Patriots Draft.
32. Detroit Lions
Satisfaction, The Rolling Stones (2)
And i'm tryin' to make some girl31. Kansas City Chiefs
Who tells me baby better come back later next week
'cause you see i'm on losing streak
Imagine, John Lennon (3)
Nothing to kill or die for.30. Cincinnati Bengals
London Calling, The Clash (15)
But when we were talking-I saw you nodding out
29. St. Louis Rams
Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin (31)
28. Oakland Raiders
(Sittin on) the Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding (28)
27. San Francisco 49ers
Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana (9)
Load up on guns26. Cleveland Browns
Bring your friends
Its fun to lose
And to pretend
What's Going On, Marvin Gaye (4)
Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on
25. Seattle Seahawks
Like a Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan (1)
How does it feel24. Houston Texans
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
Good Vibrations, The Beach Boys (6)
I dont know where but she sends me there23. Jacksonville Jaguars
I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash (30)
You've got a way to keep me on your side22. Philadelphia Eagles
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
God Only Knows, The Beach Boys (25)
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
21. San Diego Chargers
Hound Dog, Elvis Presley (19)
When they said you was high classed, Well, that was just a lie.20. Denver Broncos
Yesterday, The Beatles (13)
Suddenly,19. Green Bay Packers
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
In My Life, The Beatles (23)
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
18. Minnesota Vikings
A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke (12)
Somebody keep telling me don't hang around17. Buffalo Bills
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
Layla, Derek and the Dominos (27)
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,16. New Orleans Saints
Turned my whole world upside down.
Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix (17)
Lately things just dont seem the same15. Miami Dolphins
Actin funny, but I dont know why
scuse me while I kiss the sky
My Generation, The Who (11)
People try to put us d-down14. Chicago Bears
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just because we get around
Hey Jude, The Beatles (8)
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
13. Dallas Cowboys
What'd I Say, Ray Charles (10)
Tell your mama, tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas
12. Baltimore Ravens
Blowin' in the Wind, Bob Dylan (14)
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
11. Arizona Cardinals
Help!, The Beatles (29)
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
10. Atlanta Falcons
Be My Baby, The Ronettes (22)
I'll make you so proud of me
We'll make 'em turn their heads
9. Washington Redskins
Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen (21)
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected8. Carolina Panthers
I Want to Hold Your Hand, The Beatles (16)
Oh please say to me7. New England Patriots
You'll let me be your man
Respect, Aretha Franklin (5)
I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone
6. Indianapolis Colts
Let It Be, The Beatles (20)
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be.5. Tampa Bay Bucs
A Day in the Life, The Beatles (26)
I read the news today oh, boy4. Pittsburgh Steelers
About a lucky man who made the grade
Maybellene, Chuck Berry (18)
You've started back doin' the things you used to do3. Tennessee Titans
Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones (32)
Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
2. New York Jets
People Get Ready, The Impressions (24)
People get ready, there's a train a comin'1. New York Giants
You don't need no baggage, you just get on board
All you need is faith to hear the diesels hummin'
Don't need no ticket, you just thank the Lord
Johnny B. Goode, Chuck Berry (7)
His mother told him "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big old band.
"Is there a sports equivalent of the Americans giving the Indians blankets covered in smallpox?"
The only thing that came to mind is the Eagles sending TO to Dallas.
Then again, there are some things as embedded in the American lifestyle as Turkey Day.
Among them are football and television.
Per tradition, you'll watch the 0-11 Lions in their quest for inverse perfection (unless, God forbid, you're in Detroit). Or maybe you'll watch McNabb try to keep his holiday meal down. While you do, think about this post as you listen to the cunning linguists who narrate and comment upon the "epic" battles on Thursday and throughout the weekend.
John Madden has become the industry standard. Some people by now are sick of this meat but in the end you had to admit it's not thanksgiving with out it.
Joe Buck. Because when he talks it feels like someone is trying to jam things inside me that don't belong there.
Gus Johnson makes everything better and can jazz up even the biggest pile of shit on your plate.
Emmitt Smith. Just throw a heap of gizzards and bread together and hope - pray - something good comes of it. Luckily, like Emmitt, you really can't go wrong. Even when he's bad (always), he's oh so rewarding. Plus, you'd just like to shove him up a turkey's ass. Madden won't mind.
Michelle Tafoya. Sweet, sassy and jiggles in the can.
Frank Caliendo. It's not something you'd choose to drink normally, but at least one day out of the year you hope it gets the job done as you try to drown out your bantering family.
Cris Collinsworth. Tasty, hits the spot, and is too often surrounded, covered up, or drowned out by ex-players who offer nothing but fluff.
Jimmy Johnson. Most brilliant thing at the table, but in the end gets put to the side.
The Last Piece of Pumpkin Pie
Brent Musberger. Some people cannot stand him (or the pie), and some people say College FB doesn't exist without him. As the women head to the stores for black Friday and super savings Saturday, we are stuck at home, molded into our couch listening to Musberger, much as we reluctantly reach for a second piece of pie as the table clearing and clean-up begins on Thurdsay afternoon.
And who's preparing this feast?
Danyelle Sargent. Has uncanny ability to resurrect things everyone believed to be dead and buried.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Video: Kid in wheelchair does back flip (Blog of Hilarity)
Maria Sharapova pulls off the slutty Vogue shoot like a pro (Bright Black Internet)
CBS Sports Acquires Rights to A-10 Championship Game (Eye on Sports Media)
10 Things That Will Make Chris Bosh Go Postal (Cuzoogle)
Miller High Life guy to sing national anthem at Vikings/Bears game Sunday (RandBall)
Harry Lughes Hits Game-Winner; Larry Hughes Still MIA (Not Qualified to Comment)
Let's talk about chicks man
Ashley Dupre's 15 seconds goes into overtime (Epic Carnival)
Tila Tequila showing off solid middle cleavage (Celebridiot)
Megan Fox looks unbelievable at GQ's 'Men of the Year' party (Observation Bubble)
Karolina Kurkova Named Sexiest Woman (MoonDog Sports)
Hot Tranny Tuesday: Single Ladies Version (AfroJacks)
Penthouse Pet Cali Taylor (The Bachelor Guy)
Be the talk of Facebook--for a reason other than your drunk pics (9 to Fried)
Pictures Of The Airbus A380's Ridiculous First Class Section (YepYep)
Heidi and Spencer invite Us Weekly but not their parents to their wedding (Gravy and Biscuits)
The Destined Dozen : Television Stars Destined for Greater Things (Gunaxin)
Top 10 Signs You Drank Too much (Banned In Hollywood)
Writings on a bathroom stall (The World of Isaac)
One of the most popular user-submitted products in Uncrate history, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan ($43) is the Rambo of Nerf guns. This mean-looking, belt-feeding, fully-automatic dart gun can fire at a rate of up to three darts per second, pummeling your target (or your target's cubicle) with a barrage of toy ammunition. A removable, foldable tripod and a precision single-shot mode round out the capabilities.
I would show no mercy. I would shower soft pellets of destruction and revenge; letting slip the dogs of war to feast upon my overmatched victims. I will ultimately become a creator and destroyer of worlds - provided that said worlds were within a 20-30ft shooting distance and weren't hiding behind a cubicle. The only thing that's missing is a way to wear the bullets in an X across your chest.
Stone it: This gun will be the cause of or response to my eventual unemployment.
Update: Yes we are still waiting on one competitor's entry. Perhaps he is buried in emails and his own regret due to his recent departure from a position of great power. Or maybe he forgot. Voting begins anyway.
THROWING IN THE TOWEL
Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm
Sometimes, when your back is too far up against the wall, it’s okay to quit. Why waste the extra effort to right the ship? Jump off and go for a swim. Everyone quits. Bill Parcells has quit numerous times. Bill Belichick quit the New York Jets as soon as he realized what he signed up for. The New York Mets have quit playing baseball the last two summers.
See? It’s easy!
In hockey, sometimes there’s fights that should never occur, but only do because a player is either delusional or feels to need to stand up for their pride, even though a short time later, they’re on their ass. Often, some players fail to realize the point in which they should throw their hands up and throw in the towel.
Here’s rookie Colton Gillies making a terrible decision to fight Derek Boogaard, who’s 6’7 and known as “The Boogey Man”. Maybe Gillies had too much adrenaline going, as this was his first game in the National Hockey League? Either way, he would have been better off throwing a few punches to save face and then getting the hell out of there.
Jesse Boulerice should have stopped trying to play patty-cake with Aaron Downey after his second attempt. As you will see, Downey was all business for this fight, from the start to the end.
Finally, this isn’t a failed attempt at a fight, but when you miss a body check this bad, it might be time to hang up the skates and throw in the towel for good.
Don't be a p***y. Throw something else. If you throw in the towel, you might as well turn in your man card, take your wife's maiden name, disown football, break your commitment to the team, pop in the Kate & Leopold DVD and unscrew a Zima. But you're a man. Sack up. Grin and bear it. Don't throw in the towel. Throw out something else. Here are five suggestions:
5.) Your wife/girlfriend. She got fatter and less attractive. You got older and more attractive. It's the law of nature. Throw her out.
4.) A chair. If it makes Bobby Knight feel better, it will work for you too.
3.) Your boss. He's an asshole and an idiot. Defenestrate him.
2.) Money. Make it rain bee-yatch. (Warning: We are not responsible for the consequences of "Making it Rain" -- especially if you make it rain $80,000 and it ends in a riot.)
1.) A grenade. Because it's awesome. No further explanation needed.
(Ed: Threw in the towel?)
Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm
Monday, November 24, 2008
Mashable's Take on Shaq/Twitter (Mashable)
Beer Near (Runner's Sole)
Vote Steelers for President (PSAMP)
Top Widowmakers of the World (Banned In Hollywood)
Penguin Escapes Killer Whales, Hangs Out On Boat (YepYep)
Who doesn't love a good cheerleader calendar? (Epic Carnival)
Win David Cook's new CD (Gravy and Biscuits)
UM, MSU get on their knees and suck rivals...literally (The World of Isaac)
You don't have to be Oklahoma Sooners fan to appreciate their women (Gunaxin)
Odd Jobs: Build Robots (9 to Fried)
1 yr old girl is knocked up (Afrojacks)
Who's the Hottest Food Network Chick? (MoonDog Sports)
Paris Hilton pulls off the slutty Dominatrix look with style (Celebridiot)
Taya Parker - January 08 Penthouse Pet (SFW) (The Bachelor Guy)
Drive-by Truckers and Neil Young to back Booker T. on a new album (Observation Bubble)
Maria Sharapova showing off in Vogue (Bright Black Internet)
Check out FanFoodie.com.
Here's who's up this week:
Sean Leahy is a hockey fan (yes, he's the one) and not shy about professing his love for the game. He enjoys donuts from Stan Mikita's and when he's not blogging over at Going Five Hole or Puck Daddy, he's scouring to the Internet for fashion tips from Don Cherry.
Rob Iracane is the pedantic co-writer of the witty baseball blog Walkoff Walk with the inimitable web personality Camp Tiger Claw. When not leading the Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club, Rob approves and rejects pending commenters as the deadtern at Deadspin, and contributes a biweekly column on commenting in his role as the combudsman. His jobs are so unique, words had to be invented to describe them. Rob's favorite athlete is Derek Jeter and his favorite pastime is the New York Times crossword puzzle. See his previous winning post here.
Tomorrow. It's on.
"So, it's my last night in Shanghai and I've been traveling for two weeks. After a few cocktails celebrating our long awaited return to New York, my coworkers and I head back to the Four Seasons for one final beverage in the lounge.
As I'm walking into the lobby, I see a pink shirt moving towards me. I hear a voice say "I noticed you earlier." I look over and there he is, Iron Mike. I swear his voice is not as high as it is in interviews, but tattoo is even scarier in person and his head must weight 30 lbs- it's massive.
Being slightly intoxicated, I thought it would be a great idea to invite him for a drink and get to know him better. We head up to the bar on the top floor and plant ourselves on some fluffy couches. Mike chooses to sit next to me, quite close. He tells me he is in town visiting a Maoist shrine and also to promote a club opening.
Iron Mike proceeds to order a cup of tea (he's totally straight edge now) and 7 bottles of Evian for his body guards / entourage that are peering at us from a few feet away. I don't remember too much from the conversation other than he thought I was "funny and fine." After not too long, Mike and his crew left the bar to head back to their rooms. He also left us with the bill of $74 worth of tea and water. My coworkers and I begrudgingly paid the bill and went back to our rooms. I would be lying if I didn't say I checked to see if my door was locked quite a few times before I settled into bed. Aside from the bill stiffing incident, he was actually quite the gentleman."
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Albert was a heck of a DB himself.
I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. (Made all A’s and B’s in college. Graduated summa cum laude. Made Phi Beta Kappa. Now a gainfully employed and productive member of society.) But I can’t hold a candle to this guy.
Rolle graduated from FSU in 2 ½ years with a degree in pre-med and a 3.75 GPA. He is working on his Master’s degree and wants to continue his study in medical anthropology (whatever that is). Last summer, he was given a $4,000 grant for cancer biomedical research. He helps tutor his teammates and has written for the New York Times. And just for kicks, last year he started a program to help educate Seminole Indian children about the importance of health and physical fitness. (So what have you done lately?)
Take a good look: there’s a very good chance that this man will be your boss (or doctor or president) someday.
Friday, November 21, 2008
- 24 sports figures that Jack Bauer should take out (Cuzoogle)
- More Cribbs on Sunday? (Waiting For Next Year)
- Billy Corgan: Eddie Vedder Exclusively to Blame for Cubs’ Crappy Season (NYMag via Kyle Bunch's Raw Feed)
- The All Fat Guy Baseball Team (Bad Jerseys)
The Knicks finally started to make some moves in order to get in better position for LBJ come 2010. The first was trading Jamal Crawford to the Warriors for New Jersey's own Al Harrington. Normally I would be annoyed with this trade because Crawford was the guy doing a lot of the scoring for a team that was scoring a lot of points and surprisingly not playing that bad. Factor that in with Al Harrington being about as productive lately as Eminem, and you get the idea. But this is all about the money. Al will come off the books in time for the all important run at Bron and as we have all been hearing this trade is only supposed to be the appetizer to jettisoning Zach Randolph. Saying goodbye to Randolph is another key in freeing up cap space. It would potentially signal a return of Tim "Tough Nuts" Thomas - which I'm on the fence about. On one hand he may cause a very exciting bench clearing brawl. Yet on the other hand, he may launch 19 threes in one game and grab no rebounds.
That said, two things remain. The first, and many may disagree with me on this, but I say put Marbury out there. If Randolph goes as did Crawford, the Knicks have tragically hurt their scoring ability...might as well put Marbury out there. Roll the dice. The guy can score. That has never been doubted. He's leaving after this year, so those that feel the youngsters will be negatively influenced, they can re-blossom next year. In addition, perhaps he plays great and somebody gets drunk enough to want to trade for him offering some draft picks. That sounds nice to me.
The final issue is the 800 pound center in the room, and I speak of Eddy Curry. He, like Marbury, has been riveted to the bench for a long time but hopefully Walsh can do something to trick somebody into trading for this guy. Perhaps it's some reverse psychology they are using by not playing him. Save whatever is in the tank for a potential playoff run with a team, maybe some GM will buy this. We can only hope.
"Just 11 days after a Disney World parade of honor, Michael was fondling the backside of a scantily clad dancer at the Las Vegas Playboy Club!"
With no justification whatsoever, HHR speculates that the dancer's name was "Lance."
To see more of their childish comic chicanery, check out Some Comic Relief.
I'll be periodically scanning things in and posting both here and at Gem Mint Ten.
For all his virtues as well as shortcomings, there is one thing that is certain when it comes to Phillies legend Larry Bowa...he LOVES baseball (and The Supremes).