Sunday, November 30, 2008

Skins honor their thug, Giants move on without theirs


Almost a year ago today I wrote: "As the sports world spends the day mourning the passing of Sean Taylor, my family and I spent the holiday weekend mourning the passing of a close relative, a WWII veteran and great man in our lives. While our idolization of sports stars and celebrities helps us to escape from the reality of our lives, in honesty, it is just that - a fantasy."

This morning, Outside the Lines, in the wake of the latest Plax Burress fiasco, featured its look on "Athletes and Guns."

Ironically, among the incidents mentioned in the ESPN piece was the 2005 Sean Taylor gun charges.

Hours later the Washington Redskins, as so many in the nation's capital are fond of doing, re-wrote history. More specifically, they propagated that aformentioned fantasy, as they inducted the gun-waving, sobriety test-failing, Michael Pittman-spitting Meast into their Ring of Honor, which "which honors those who have made distinguished contributions to the team."

Sure, it's a shame that a man who rarely flaunted his wealth, had few enemies and hung with a pristine crowd was the target of a totally "random" robbery.

But does untimely death negate every bad deed, every low-class action and socially harmful behavior a person commits enough to create the bullshit assertion that this person deserves to be honored in the most reverant way the team has?

What does that say about the organization and the fans that support it?

Mourn Taylor, don't honor his deeds.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Movember to Remember: One 'Mo' Day



Man, this month has flown by!

Tomorrow is the last day to donate to the fight against prostate cancer as Movember comes to an end. There is still time though, so click on the HHR team page here.

Cleveland Steamer


Like many Trenton-area sports fans, we watched Hamilton native Kevin Johnson's progression from All-State high school quarterback to his position battle at Syracuse with Donovan McNabb to his conversion to wide receiver and being drafted by the Cleveland Browns.

For a good five year stretch, his #85 Browns jersey stood proudly in Quakerbridge Mall beside Eagles and Giants greens and blues.

And then, it was gone. The jerseys and the player.

Despite being the Browns' leading receiver since being drafted, his inablity to coexist with then-coach Butch Davis lead to his being cut by the team, and subsequent downfall from NFL stardom.

While at first the transacton perplexed football fans, and fueled rumors that he would soon be an Eagle, stints with the Ravens, Jags and Lions proved unfruitful and Johnson, now at age 32, has been out of the game for 3 years.

The best idea anyone had was that he punched his ticket out of the League for being a malcontent.

Thus, I found it disheartening as he channeled his inner Al Bundy to pen a piece for this year's 50th Anniversary of the Hamilton HS West (Johnson's alma mater)/Steinert High School annual Thanksgiving Day game:

I cannot help but smile and laugh thinking of the “We’ve got Kevin, Yes we do, We’ve got Kevin, How about you?” chanted by the Hamilton fans in my senior year or the importance to my teammates and I that we win every Thanksgiving Day game.
His humble reflection on family, tradition and community brings this once bright, shining star back to earth and leaves some locals wondering, "What the hell happened to his guy, that, only a decade after his being on top of the world, he's sitting in Trenton with the rest of us this holiday?"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

HHR Hugs is Out [11.26.08]

Sports

The Ultimate Fan Guide for the Lions Thanksgiving Day Game (The World of Isaac)

Land diving not for the weak (Brahsome)

Lebron will fit in just fine in New York (Cuzoogle)

Rinku Singh's Windup and Delivery (PSAMP)

Got extra cash? Buy a bowling alley (Steady. Burn)

The 13 Best Gobble Gobble Games Ever (In Game Now)

Entertainment

Get personal in the office (9 to Fried)

Humanitarian awards sure have changed (Epic Carnival)

Photo Evidence That Meth Ain't Bad For Everyone (YepYep)

Brooke Burke wins DWTS so let's appreciate her amazing body (Bright Black Internet)

Why Kanye West is Awesome (the Jebbica)

Grandma gives birth to her triplet granddaughters (Afrojacks)

Sexy Thanksgiving Dinner (Gunaxin)

Geezers are hip and with it (Observation Bubble)

Let's talk about chicks man...

Porn Stars, Toilets and Redneck Roller-Coasters... Top How-to Videos (The Bachelor Guy)

Britney Spears December 2008 Rolling Stone pictures (Celebridiot)

Leann Rimes: All Grown Up & Looking Fine (MoonDog Sports)

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 13

A Florida State football player wins a prestigious award—for academics. Notre Dame loses at home on Senior Day to an 8-loss Syracuse with a lame-duck coach. Guns n’ Roses releases a new album. All things that, ten years ago, we never thought we would see. Yet they all happened this weekend, showing that when you expect the unexpected, bad things sometimes happen. (Except the GNR album—much to my surprise, it’s actually pretty freakin’ good.)

1. Win One for Ty. Or Not.

Thanks to the brilliant foresight of FSN, the entire country was able to see last week’s Washington/Washington State game. Fortunately for them, there are enough people across the country who like watching train wrecks to make the game palatable. The Sporting News put it best, when they called the game “essential viewing of the most desperate sort, like watching two homeless men fight over the last can of Sterno in an alley. You'll hate yourself for watching it, you really will ... but you won't be able to look away, either.” Really, as bad as these teams are, was there really any way for it to be decided but a missed field goal in the second OT?


Secretly obtained photo of Washington special teams practice.

Washington still has one chance to save its season with a 12/7 game at California. Anyone want to take that bet?

2. Remember That Time When Notre Dame Was Relevant?

Early in the fourth quarter, Notre Dame led Syracuse by a score of 23-10. And then the epic choke began. Syracuse came back to win 24-23. So which is the worst part of this week’s loss for Notre Dame?

(A) The Domers had more penalty yards (50) than rushing yards (41)
(B) They had their first loss ever to a team with eight losses.
(C) The ND players were pelted with snowballs from their own “fans” (and I use that term very loosely)
(D) The Irish likely played themselves out of an invite to the Gator Bowl in sunny Orlando and into a trip to the Sun Bowl in El Paso.
(E) All of the above.

The Sun Bowl is nice, but it’s no Olive Garden Never-Ending Pasta Bowl

3. No Cupcakes on This Thanksgiving Table

Florida vs. The Citadel?!?!? What the hell?!?!?! This is the time of the year for turkey, dressing and enough desserts to make your coronary arteries beg for mercy. September is the month for cupcakes. Get it right, Gators.

Well, I guess there is one way to have both.

4. That’s Alright, That’s OK, You’ll Be Working for Him Someday

In a follow-up to a story we wrote about last week, Florida State safety Myron Rolle was one of 32 American students to be awarded a Rhodes Scholarship last Saturday. He received the word at 5:22 pm EST, had a police escort to the airport and were airborne at 6:15. Rolle made it to College Park, MD and, courtesy of another police escort, was at the stadium and suited up late in the second quarter. Florida State then rolled to a 37-3 victory.

Congrats to Mr. Rolle. It’s very rare that I get to use the phrases “bigtime college football player” and “police escort” in the same story and have it actually be something positive.




Rolle had an even better day than this guy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Thanksgiving 32

Every season, classic rock stations across the country do a variation of a "Holiday 500," where they count down the top classic rock songs ever. How this ordered list changes for songs at least 10-15 years old is beyond us. Regardless, we match one of Rolling Stone's top 32 songs of all time to the NFL teams it and it's money lyric most reflects. (Rolling Stone rank in parentheses.)

NFL Power Ranking courtesy of our friends at NE Patriots Draft.

32. Detroit Lions

Satisfaction, The Rolling Stones (2)
And i'm tryin' to make some girl
Who tells me baby better come back later next week

'cause you see i'm on losing streak
31. Kansas City Chiefs

Imagine, John Lennon (3)
Nothing to kill or die for.
30. Cincinnati Bengals

London Calling, The Clash (15)
But when we were talking-I saw you nodding out
"This will make good pillow."

29. St. Louis Rams

Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin (31)
There’s a feeling I get
When I look to the west.
28. Oakland Raiders

(Sittin on) the Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding (28)
I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
27. San Francisco 49ers

Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana (9)
Load up on guns
Bring your friends

Its fun to lose

And to pretend
26. Cleveland Browns

What's Going On, Marvin Gaye (4)
Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on

25. Seattle Seahawks

Like a Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan (1)
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
24. Houston Texans

Good Vibrations, The Beach Boys (6)
I dont know where but she sends me there
23. Jacksonville Jaguars

I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash (30)
You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
22. Philadelphia Eagles

God Only Knows, The Beach Boys (25)
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me

The world could show nothing to me

So what good would living do me

21. San Diego Chargers

Hound Dog, Elvis Presley (19)
When they said you was high classed, Well, that was just a lie.
20. Denver Broncos

Yesterday, The Beatles (13)
Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
19. Green Bay Packers

In My Life, The Beatles (23)
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before

I know i'll often stop and think about them


18. Minnesota Vikings

A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke (12)
Somebody keep telling me don't hang around
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
17. Buffalo Bills

Layla, Derek and the Dominos (27)
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.
16. New Orleans Saints

Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix (17)
Lately things just dont seem the same
Actin funny, but I dont know why
scuse me while I kiss the sky
15. Miami Dolphins

My Generation, The Who (11)
People try to put us d-down
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just because we get around
14. Chicago Bears

Hey Jude, The Beatles (8)
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

13. Dallas Cowboys


What'd I Say, Ray Charles (10)
Tell your mama, tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas

12. Baltimore Ravens

Blowin' in the Wind, Bob Dylan (14)
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?

11. Arizona Cardinals

Help!, The Beatles (29)

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.


10. Atlanta Falcons

Be My Baby, The Ronettes (22)
I'll make you so proud of me
We'll make 'em turn their heads


9. Washington Redskins

Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen (21)
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected
8. Carolina Panthers

I Want to Hold Your Hand, The Beatles (16)
Oh please say to me
You'll let me be your man
7. New England Patriots

Respect, Aretha Franklin (5)

I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone


6. Indianapolis Colts

Let It Be, The Beatles (20)
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be.
5. Tampa Bay Bucs

A Day in the Life, The Beatles (26)
I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
4. Pittsburgh Steelers

Maybellene, Chuck Berry (18)
You've started back doin' the things you used to do
3. Tennessee Titans

Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones (32)
Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year

Stole many a mans soul and faith

2. New York Jets

People Get Ready, The Impressions (24)
People get ready, there's a train a comin'
You don't need no baggage, you just get on board

All you need is faith to hear the diesels hummin'

Don't need no ticket, you just thank the Lord
1. New York Giants

Johnny B. Goode, Chuck Berry (7)
His mother told him "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big old band.

Give Thanks, Get in the Booth

When toying around with our Thanksgiving-related post this year, we pondered the question...

"Is there a sports equivalent of the Americans giving the Indians blankets covered in smallpox?"

The only thing that came to mind is the Eagles sending TO to Dallas.

Then again, there are some things as embedded in the American lifestyle as Turkey Day.

Among them are football and television.

Per tradition, you'll watch the 0-11 Lions in their quest for inverse perfection (unless, God forbid, you're in Detroit). Or maybe you'll watch McNabb try to keep his holiday meal down. While you do, think about this post as you listen to the cunning linguists who narrate and comment upon the "epic" battles on Thursday and throughout the weekend.


Turkey

John Madden has become the industry standard. Some people by now are sick of this meat but in the end you had to admit it's not thanksgiving with out it.

Turducken

Joe Buck. Because when he talks it feels like someone is trying to jam things inside me that don't belong there.

Gravy

Gus Johnson makes everything better and can jazz up even the biggest pile of shit on your plate.

Stuffing

Emmitt Smith. Just throw a heap of gizzards and bread together and hope - pray - something good comes of it. Luckily, like Emmitt, you really can't go wrong. Even when he's bad (always), he's oh so rewarding. Plus, you'd just like to shove him up a turkey's ass. Madden won't mind.

Cranberry Sauce

Michelle Tafoya. Sweet, sassy and jiggles in the can.

Hard Cider

Frank Caliendo. It's not something you'd choose to drink normally, but at least one day out of the year you hope it gets the job done as you try to drown out your bantering family.

Sweet Potatoes (with marshmallows)

Cris Collinsworth. Tasty, hits the spot, and is too often surrounded, covered up, or drowned out by ex-players who offer nothing but fluff.

Fancy Table Ornament

Jimmy Johnson. Most brilliant thing at the table, but in the end gets put to the side.

The Last Piece of Pumpkin Pie


Brent Musberger. Some people cannot stand him (or the pie), and some people say College FB doesn't exist without him. As the women head to the stores for black Friday and super savings Saturday, we are stuck at home, molded into our couch listening to Musberger, much as we reluctantly reach for a second piece of pie as the table clearing and clean-up begins on Thurdsay afternoon.

And who's preparing this feast?

Mom who drinks way too much Chardonnay while cooking/eating

Danyelle Sargent. Has uncanny ability to resurrect things everyone believed to be dead and buried.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

HHR Hugs it Out [11.25.08]


Sports

Video: Kid in wheelchair does back flip (Blog of Hilarity)

Maria Sharapova pulls off the slutty Vogue shoot like a pro (Bright Black Internet)

CBS Sports Acquires Rights to A-10 Championship Game (Eye on Sports Media)

10 Things That Will Make Chris Bosh Go Postal (Cuzoogle)

Miller High Life guy to sing national anthem at Vikings/Bears game Sunday (RandBall)

Harry Lughes Hits Game-Winner; Larry Hughes Still MIA (Not Qualified to Comment)

Let's talk about chicks man

Ashley Dupre's 15 seconds goes into overtime (Epic Carnival)

Tila Tequila showing off solid middle cleavage (Celebridiot)

Megan Fox looks unbelievable at GQ's 'Men of the Year' party (Observation Bubble)

Karolina Kurkova Named Sexiest Woman (MoonDog Sports)

Hot Tranny Tuesday: Single Ladies Version (AfroJacks)

Penthouse Pet Cali Taylor (The Bachelor Guy)

Random

Be the talk of Facebook--for a reason other than your drunk pics (9 to Fried)

Pictures Of The Airbus A380's Ridiculous First Class Section (YepYep)

Heidi and Spencer invite Us Weekly but not their parents to their wedding (Gravy and Biscuits)

The Destined Dozen : Television Stars Destined for Greater Things (Gunaxin)

Top 10 Signs You Drank Too much (Banned In Hollywood)

Writings on a bathroom stall (The World of Isaac)

Out of Our Element: I think I'm in Love

I've always wanted to be something when I grew up. Now I finally know what that is. I want to become the owner of this fine piece of home/office terror:


via Uncrate:
One of the most popular user-submitted products in Uncrate history, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan ($43) is the Rambo of Nerf guns. This mean-looking, belt-feeding, fully-automatic dart gun can fire at a rate of up to three darts per second, pummeling your target (or your target's cubicle) with a barrage of toy ammunition. A removable, foldable tripod and a precision single-shot mode round out the capabilities.

I would show no mercy. I would shower soft pellets of destruction and revenge; letting slip the dogs of war to feast upon my overmatched victims. I will ultimately become a creator and destroyer of worlds - provided that said worlds were within a 20-30ft shooting distance and weren't hiding behind a cubicle. The only thing that's missing is a way to wear the bullets in an X across your chest.

Stone it
: This gun will be the cause of or response to my eventual unemployment.

Iron Ref Playoffs - Throwing in the Towel

Who will be the the last finalist for HHR's Iron Ref? Only one will survive, while the other two will just fade into Bolivia. Might as well give it up after that. Hey, that sort of feel's like a segway! Sweet! No more witty banter in an attempt to introduce the subject!

Update: Yes we are still waiting on one competitor's entry. Perhaps he is buried in emails and his own regret due to his recent departure from a position of great power. Or maybe he forgot. Voting begins anyway.

This week's theme

THROWING IN THE TOWEL

VOTE IN THE COMMENTS
Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm

-----------------------------------------------
Sean Leahy
Sometimes, when your back is too far up against the wall, it’s okay to quit. Why waste the extra effort to right the ship? Jump off and go for a swim. Everyone quits. Bill Parcells has quit numerous times. Bill Belichick quit the New York Jets as soon as he realized what he signed up for. The New York Mets have quit playing baseball the last two summers.

See? It’s easy!

In hockey, sometimes there’s fights that should never occur, but only do because a player is either delusional or feels to need to stand up for their pride, even though a short time later, they’re on their ass. Often, some players fail to realize the point in which they should throw their hands up and throw in the towel.

Here’s rookie Colton Gillies making a terrible decision to fight Derek Boogaard, who’s 6’7 and known as “The Boogey Man”. Maybe Gillies had too much adrenaline going, as this was his first game in the National Hockey League? Either way, he would have been better off throwing a few punches to save face and then getting the hell out of there.



Jesse Boulerice should have stopped trying to play patty-cake with Aaron Downey after his second attempt. As you will see, Downey was all business for this fight, from the start to the end.



Finally, this isn’t a failed attempt at a fight, but when you miss a body check this bad, it might be time to hang up the skates and throw in the towel for good.


-----------------------------------------------
Jeff Pyatt
Don't be a p***y. Throw something else. If you throw in the towel, you might as well turn in your man card, take your wife's maiden name, disown football, break your commitment to the team, pop in the Kate & Leopold DVD and unscrew a Zima. But you're a man. Sack up. Grin and bear it. Don't throw in the towel. Throw out something else. Here are five suggestions:

5.) Your wife/girlfriend. She got fatter and less attractive. You got older and more attractive. It's the law of nature. Throw her out.


4.) A chair. If it makes Bobby Knight feel better, it will work for you too.


3.) Your boss. He's an asshole and an idiot. Defenestrate him.


2.) Money. Make it rain bee-yatch. (Warning: We are not responsible for the consequences of "Making it Rain" -- especially if you make it rain $80,000 and it ends in a riot.)


1.) A grenade. Because it's awesome. No further explanation needed.





-----------------------------------------------
Rob Iracane

(Ed: Threw in the towel?)


-----------------------------------------------
VOTE IN THE COMMENTS
Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm

Monday, November 24, 2008

Separated at Birth: Really, Coach Kelly, Enough Screaming

...it wasn't that funny when you were alive.

HHR Hugs It Out [11.24.08]

"Tweet me later."

Mashable's Take on Shaq/Twitter (Mashable)

Beer Near (Runner's Sole)

Vote Steelers for President (PSAMP)

Top Widowmakers of the World (Banned In Hollywood)

Penguin Escapes Killer Whales, Hangs Out On Boat (YepYep)

Who doesn't love a good cheerleader calendar? (Epic Carnival)

Win David Cook's new CD (Gravy and Biscuits)

UM, MSU get on their knees and suck rivals...literally (The World of Isaac)

You don't have to be Oklahoma Sooners fan to appreciate their women (Gunaxin)

Odd Jobs: Build Robots (9 to Fried)

1 yr old girl is knocked up (Afrojacks)

Who's the Hottest Food Network Chick? (MoonDog Sports)

Paris Hilton pulls off the slutty Dominatrix look with style (Celebridiot)

Taya Parker - January 08 Penthouse Pet (SFW) (The Bachelor Guy)

Drive-by Truckers and Neil Young to back Booker T. on a new album (Observation Bubble)

Maria Sharapova showing off in Vogue (Bright Black Internet)

Are You the Hottest Eagles Fan?

Probably not. But chances are you rank much higher than these early entrants at phillyBurbs...

"Mock if you will, but we are much prettier than the team's QB play."

Get Your Eats On

Last week, HHR launched an offshoot site geared towards hungry travelers and sports enthusiasts. Locally-based bloggers give their recommendations on what and where to eat in sports cities across the country. Note: we aren't talking tourist traps and chain restaurants, but rather, damn good local staples.

Check out FanFoodie.com.

Profiled already:

Iron Ref - The End of the Almost-End

Here it comes ladies (who are we kidding) and germs, the last Iron Ref competition to determine who the last of the four finalists is. Voting will begin early tomorrow and throughout Wednesday, and some lucky duck will get to be extra thankful on Thanksgiving and get all the glory, while the others will curse a God that they believe has abandoned them. Just like the Pilgrims and the Indians!

Here's who's up this week:

Sean Leahy is a hockey fan (yes, he's the one) and not shy about professing his love for the game. He enjoys donuts from Stan Mikita's and when he's not blogging over at Going Five Hole or Puck Daddy, he's scouring to the Internet for fashion tips from Don Cherry.




Rob Iracane is the pedantic co-writer of the witty baseball blog Walkoff Walk with the inimitable web personality Camp Tiger Claw. When not leading the Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club, Rob approves and rejects pending commenters as the deadtern at Deadspin, and contributes a biweekly column on commenting in his role as the combudsman. His jobs are so unique, words had to be invented to describe them. Rob's favorite athlete is Derek Jeter and his favorite pastime is the New York Times crossword puzzle. See his previous winning post here.

Jeff Pyatt, managing editor of RealClearSports, is a former biochemist turned political flak turned sports blogger. As a college pitcher, he holds a claim for worst player in NCAA history, bringing his ERA down from infinity to a more respectable 27.00. Pyatt currently resides in Arlington, Virginia, where he spends most of his idle time at the batting cage in hopes of becoming the Baltimore Orioles next third basemen. See his previous winning post here.


Tomorrow. It's on.

HHR Exclusive: Iron Mike's Shanghai Surprise

Sometimes, friends tell you stories and you think they're just full of sh*t. And then they go and show you a picture that backs it all up...

"So, it's my last night in Shanghai and I've been traveling for two weeks. After a few cocktails celebrating our long awaited return to New York, my coworkers and I head back to the Four Seasons for one final beverage in the lounge.

As I'm walking into the lobby, I see a pink shirt moving towards me. I hear a voice say "I noticed you earlier." I look over and there he is, Iron Mike. I swear his voice is not as high as it is in interviews, but tattoo is even scarier in person and his head must weight 30 lbs- it's massive.

Being slightly intoxicated, I thought it would be a great idea to invite him for a drink and get to know him better. We head up to the bar on the top floor and plant ourselves on some fluffy couches. Mike chooses to sit next to me, quite close. He tells me he is in town visiting a Maoist shrine and also to promote a club opening.

Iron Mike proceeds to order a cup of tea (he's totally straight edge now) and 7 bottles of Evian for his body guards / entourage that are peering at us from a few feet away. I don't remember too much from the conversation other than he thought I was "funny and fine." After not too long, Mike and his crew left the bar to head back to their rooms. He also left us with the bill of $74 worth of tea and water. My coworkers and I begrudgingly paid the bill and went back to our rooms. I would be lying if I didn't say I checked to see if my door was locked quite a few times before I settled into bed. Aside from the bill stiffing incident, he was actually quite the gentleman."

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Cynic: This Guy is Way Smarter Than You

November 20, 2008. Remember this date in history. It may well be the first and only time the NCAA did something right by a student-athlete. The NCAA approved a waiver for Florida State safety Myron Rolle to take a private jet to the Seminoles’ game at Maryland Saturday night. The reason for the unusual travel: Saturday afternoon Rolle will be interviewing for a Rhodes Scholarship. For those who don’t know, a Rhodes Scholarship is like the Heisman Trophy, an Academy Award and the super-hot girl’s phone number all rolled into one. Except for really, really smart people. Only 32 students from across the country will be chosen for the Scholarship and the opportunity to study at Oxford University.

Albert was a heck of a DB himself.

I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. (Made all A’s and B’s in college. Graduated summa cum laude. Made Phi Beta Kappa. Now a gainfully employed and productive member of society.) But I can’t hold a candle to this guy.

Rolle graduated from FSU in 2 ½ years with a degree in pre-med and a 3.75 GPA. He is working on his Master’s degree and wants to continue his study in medical anthropology (whatever that is). Last summer, he was given a $4,000 grant for cancer biomedical research. He helps tutor his teammates and has written for the New York Times. And just for kicks, last year he started a program to help educate Seminole Indian children about the importance of health and physical fitness. (So what have you done lately?)

Take a good look: there’s a very good chance that this man will be your boss (or doctor or president) someday.

On behalf of all our HHR staffers (who now feel like complete slackers), we would like to wish Mr. Rolle the best of luck in his interview tomorrow. For all the bad and cynical things we sometimes report from the world of college football, it’s a good reality check to remember that the vast majority of college football players are good guys who are trying to do the right things. Rolle just happens to be at the very top of that list.

Friday, November 21, 2008

HHR Hugs It Out [11.21.08]

"Listen, puppy. I'll hug you now, but if you want to live, you'll do exactly what I say."

Cadillac Mescallade: Harrington a Knick, Just Great (No actually it is)


The Knicks finally started to make some moves in order to get in better position for LBJ come 2010. The first was trading Jamal Crawford to the Warriors for New Jersey's own Al Harrington. Normally I would be annoyed with this trade because Crawford was the guy doing a lot of the scoring for a team that was scoring a lot of points and surprisingly not playing that bad. Factor that in with Al Harrington being about as productive lately as Eminem, and you get the idea. But this is all about the money. Al will come off the books in time for the all important run at Bron and as we have all been hearing this trade is only supposed to be the appetizer to jettisoning Zach Randolph. Saying goodbye to Randolph is another key in freeing up cap space. It would potentially signal a return of Tim "Tough Nuts" Thomas - which I'm on the fence about. On one hand he may cause a very exciting bench clearing brawl. Yet on the other hand, he may launch 19 threes in one game and grab no rebounds.

That said, two things remain. The first, and many may disagree with me on this, but I say put Marbury out there. If Randolph goes as did Crawford, the Knicks have tragically hurt their scoring ability...might as well put Marbury out there. Roll the dice. The guy can score. That has never been doubted. He's leaving after this year, so those that feel the youngsters will be negatively influenced, they can re-blossom next year. In addition, perhaps he plays great and somebody gets drunk enough to want to trade for him offering some draft picks. That sounds nice to me.

The final issue is the 800 pound center in the room, and I speak of Eddy Curry. He, like Marbury, has been riveted to the bench for a long time but hopefully Walsh can do something to trick somebody into trading for this guy. Perhaps it's some reverse psychology they are using by not playing him. Save whatever is in the tank for a potential playoff run with a team, maybe some GM will buy this. We can only hope.

Taylor Swift Gets Her Balboa On

From our friend Joe Student at Philly Edge:

Taylor Swift runs the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum

Michael Phelps: Butt Fondler

Star Magazine reports "Michael Phelps: Off the Deep End!" (Get it?):

"Just 11 days after a Disney World parade of honor, Michael was fondling the backside of a scantily clad dancer at the Las Vegas Playboy Club!"

With no justification whatsoever, HHR speculates that the dancer's name was "Lance."

Clemens Always Loved Him Some Underage Cowgirls

A new regular feature on HHR from the lunatics over at Some Comic Relief. They are going to be posting a sports comic a week.

To see more of their childish comic chicanery, check out Some Comic Relief.

Phillie Fans Gave Bowa a Chubby

I came across a goldmine of unintentional comedy when I recently inherited a 1980 Philadelphia Phillies yearbook.

I'll be periodically scanning things in and posting both here and at Gem Mint Ten.

For all his virtues as well as shortcomings, there is one thing that is certain when it comes to Phillies legend Larry Bowa...he LOVES baseball (and The Supremes).

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