Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dean Cain Speaks Out: "Not Everyone in the NBA Can Be Superman!"

Just days after Boston Celtics star Paul Pierce was anointed "Superman" by Kevin Garnett at a post game press conference, actor Dean Cain spoke out in an angry tirade outside of his Malibu, California home. Cain, who played Superman in "The Adventures of Lois and Clark," became outraged as the tally of alleged "Supermen" in the NBA has mushroomed to three, a number Cain cited as being "too fucking much."

"This is complete horseshit. What do these guys think? Because they make all this money you can just throw around the Superman nickname like nothing? Pick another super hero you lazy bastards. What about Spiderman or Batman? Those guys were athletic," ranted Cain. He continued, "I think I speak for Christopher (Reeve) and everyone else involved in the Superman franchise when I say, just get off of our nuts."

Pierce joined the Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard and the Phoenix Sun's Shaquille O'Neal as players in the NBA referred to as Superman. O'Neal, mentioned by Cain as the original "NBA Superman," has been in the NBA since 1992 and was reportedly given the "Superman" endorsement by Cain and the now-deceased Christopher Reeve - the first man to portray the superhero in movies. O'Neal who has a giant Superman emblem tattoo on his bicep, outfits all of his vehicle with the emblem, and has been often referred to as the "man of steel," seemed to have the market cornered on this nickname until February of 2008. It was then that Howard won the Slam Dunk Contest during the NBA's annual All-Star Weekend. Howard simulated a flight through the air ala Superman while donning a semblance of the superheros uniform.

At the time Cain took no umbrage with Howard's new nickname since he was the second Superman to come along himself and figured succession was only right. However once Pierce was dubbed, and Garnett proceeded to badly hum the theme song, Cain became infuriated. After giving his statements he was seen lobbing lawn chairs into the street in front of his home. The day came to an end when someone suggested Pierce was acceptable because there was in fact a third Superman show entitled "Smallville." Cain responded that "Smallville could kiss his ass" before returning to his home as reporters departed.

-Posted by Cadillac Mescallade

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Anonymous said...

LMAO. This is satire right?

Hugging Harold Reynolds said...

Yes. Sorry if it wasnt obvious!