Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jack Bauer Attempts to Break Joe Buck's Silence on Ride-Gate

The Smoking Gun released a "blistering report" by the US Department of Justice's inspector general citing "A federal government lawyer who moonlighted as a statistician for Fox Sports improperly arranged for United States Marshals Service (USMS) deputies to drive broadcasters Troy Aikman and Joe Buck to the 2008 Super Bowl and lead motorcades for Buck and Tim McCarver during the 2007 World Series..."

Suspecting a much larger cover-up, and after Buck refused to cooperate with authorities, the DoJ is said to have brought in former Special Agent Jack Bauer of the recently-disbanded US Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) in an attempt to strong arm the Fox announcer into giving up his contacts.

An HHR mole at homeland security leaked to us this exclusive picture of the interrogation.

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