Back in my glory grade school days, the spring smell in the air meant it was co-ed soccer season. Now a days, it means I will remain cooped up in my cubicle, but I get to fart around for a few minutes researching the Derby. Lucky for you, I have enough time to squeeze off another round of Kentucky Derby talking points.
- Bob Baffert says he is back at the top of his game with Pioneerof the Nile. Interesting case of: you are only as good as the company you keep, as Bode Miller is no where to be seen.
- I love the Derby. I get to hear what Jerry O'Connell has been up to for the past year.
- Now is when we see owners place horses into the derby even though they have no worthwhile reason to be there, only a distraction. It's like the person fake dry humping a news reporter trying to get attention. Look mom, I'm at the Derby!
- The horses coming off the synthetic surfaces will have the talking heads barking again this year. Synth causes more doubt on derby horses than US Weekly does for Jennifer Aniston's hope for love. (We're pulling for you, Jen)
Try one of these bad boys on your horse loving boss. He will probably give you a raise on the spot or invite you to watch the Derby at his place where you will both get drunk and he will touch you inappropriately which results in a raise anyway. Win-win.
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