Monday, June 29, 2009

Re-capping @jemelehill's Vodka-Induced, Un-Funny, Stereotype-Laden BET Awards Recap

In all likelihood, sports fans, you spent last evening in the same manner as I did - not watching the BET awards.

I was however, lucky enough that plenty of folks on Twitter felt the need to keep a Simmonsian running diary, including ESPN 1st & 10 mainstay Jemele Hill.

Among other things, the show somehow became a tribute to former Phillies/Mariners/Giants/Reds/Indians/Astros/Twins/White Sox reliever Mike Jackson.

I, for one, had no idea he was so popular in the R&B community.

Nor did I have any idea just how out of touch with the BET-watching community I, in essence, am.

Take it away Jemele...

If anyone wants to explain to me what exactly that action is referring to, by all means. Whitlock?

Last night's reunion performance, New Edition's 27th in the last 10 years, surprised and pleased only Jemele Hill. Then again, she remembers fainting when an adolescent Bobby Brown would strip off his shirt and dry hump the stage.

Apparently Jamie Foxx came out looking like this:

Is that Sheila E?

Jemele finds this amusing:
  • Wow. Jamie Foxx came out with a Beat It jacket. I love this dude.
  • Aight, Jamie, if you're going to do the Beat It reincarnation, i'mma need you to stay on beat.
  • J Foxx has on some pants so tight I can see his butt cheeks flexin
  • If Jamie moves a bit too quickly, he coming out of those pants
  • LMAO...Jamie Foxx just said his Michael Jackson pants are giving him a "camel toe." Now that's hysterical.

You people in Bristol just don't learn do you?


The real questions are:
  • Why does BET have an awards show?
  • Why does Jemele Hill have a career?
  • Why am I following her Twitter feed?
A larger size uh what exactly?

After marveling over Bron's snug slacks, Hill goes on to Tweet about the following people I've never heard of:
  • Keri Hilson
  • Ne-Yo
  • Neffei
  • Keke Palmer
  • XScape
That what she said.

If I followed this recipe but instead did so with Puerto Rican midgets and called in PRMET, I guarantee 2 things: 1. I would be deemed racist and offensive; 2. It would be more entertaining and successful than anything ever produced by BET. Bank it.

It took a fifth of vodka, but there we have it - Jemele's first and only amusing comment.


Jemele Hill, tearing down black stereotypes on Twitter since 2009.

This comment is applicable to:

A. BET's 2009 Awards Show
B. Jemele Hill's Tweetcap
C. This Post
D. All of the Above

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4 comments:

SarahS said...

Haha. Love it!

Alana G said...

I don't care whatchall say, JemeleHill is still crackish.

/crying cooning

Houston5thWard08 said...

Oh Please, I believe the author of this blog is biased and MAYBE a little racist. All this woman did was have a some vodka and post comments on twitter about the BET Awards. She did nothing outrageously wrong. Just because she made a couple of posts with slang terms like "whatchall" proves what??? Just because she mentioned some R&B acts that YOU never heard of (but obviously milloons of others around the globe have) proves what??? What? You only approve of actions by black people that fit WHAT YOU BELIEVE to be right? Who are YOU to judge others, especially over something so petty.

So in order for Black person to be acceptable by you they have to fit the 100% exact mode you believe they should be?

If she didn't use any slang (which she barely used anyway..), was watching the country music awards, and mentioned that she had a little vodka, would YOU even care then??? People like this disgust me.

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