Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Mr. Met Lands On DL With Vertigo
On the heels of pitching ace Johan Santana heading to the disabled list, perhaps a final blow was struck on what has been a season to forget for the New York Mets. Famed mascot Mr. Met was shut down today for the rest of the year with vertigo. Met is the latest in a string of superstars for the club that have had their season cut short by injury. Met joins Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, David Wright, Johan Santana and a host of others on the disabled list officially dooming a season that had once started with such hope.
Boasting a head that is between seven and eight times the size of a normal person's head with the same height and build team doctors have always surmised the fun-loving baseball ambassador was susceptible to this type of condition. Vertigo can come in many forms but often leaves the affected with a sense of disorientation, diziness, headaches, nausea, and the feeling that their head is in fact much larger than it is. Doctors at the Roosevelt Hospital in Queens confirmed that Met is in the 99th percentile of those most likely to suffer from vertigo due to his body type and penchant for climbing to the farthest reaches of Citi Field. Hospital staffers have been watching Met around the clock after his admission on Sunday following the Mets 9-7 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies. Team officials suspected the veteran mascot was in trouble after he fell out of the second deck onto the mesh net covering the area behind homeplate during the fifth inning of Sunday's game.
A report by the AP following the game that stated a simple misfire by the Pepsi Party Patrol t-shit gun that Met was operating caused the fall later proved to be false. New York infielder Daniel Murphy watched the entire incident from the on-deck circle. "Mr. Met was doing his usual antics firing off t-shirts into the crowd, then he dropped the gun, began projectile vomiting on those girls that carry his t-shirts, wobbled, and fell off the second level, it was nuts," said Murphy, "it's pretty typical with the way this year has been going."
Manager Jerry Manuel has vowed that Met will be welcome next year and that this situation will in no way effect whether or not the team decides to pick up his remaining option worth a reported 11.3 million dollars.
-Posted by Cadillac Mescallade