Saturday, February 28, 2009

Rusty Reckons: Viva Las Vegas


The fastest fellas in America return to one of the fastest cities, at least in terms of the people there. In terms of revenue, Vegas has been a boon to NASCAR. The race has been a sell-out recently, and with the big bucks on the strip, it's a good time for everyone involved. Then when they installed the progressive banking a few years ago, the racing started to get on par with the dollar signs.

For those newer fans, progressive banking is where the track is banked at different degrees vertically up the track. This creates multiple grooves of racing, which translates into more passing, running 2 wide etc. The COT has diffused some of the insanity that might have occurred with the older car, but we've still had some good racing of late.

Mr. Ed's the defending race winner, but Kyle Busch has been one of the highest rated drivers at Vegas in recent memory. The shrub also has the added advantage of starting the race from the pole, with his elder brother starting just to his outside. The Busch boys have done well at Vegas, possibly because it's their home track, but looking at the most recent speed charts they might have some serious competition. Jeff and Jimmie topped the speed charts on Saturday. Historically, Vegas has been one of Jimmie's worst tracks, but he might be feeling some pressure coming off a rather tepid start to the season. Might not see too many new faces up front this week, but Vegas should still give us some pretty exciting racing.

JR Prediction

Pure and simple, Junior needs a top 20 finish. After having engine issues at Fontana, and a weak Daytona, the 88 team is hanging precipitously onto the 35th position in points. After Bristol, NASCAR will revert to this year's points to determine who's locked in each week, meaning Junior will need to improve his position to avoid having to qualify on time. Can you imagine Junior not making a race? The stands might be empty. Lucky for Junior nation, though, all the prognosticators including yours truly is certain Junior will rebound. Vegas might not be a strong track for him, but Atlanta and Bristol certainly are. I said at the outset, Junior was going to be better on tracks he hadn't quite mastered in the past. With a little bit of pressure to perform, he might start to emerge in sin city this coming weekend.



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Friday, February 27, 2009

Pioli fattens up on Pats Open Buffet

The New England Patriots standout linebacker, Mike Vrabel, is headed to the Chiefs, according to ESPN. But it's a blog at ESPN, so I'm sure it's just some guy in his mother's basement making it up - and dear God I hope that's the case. Because if true, this might be a sign of things to come for the Pats.

We'll get a good sense from the upcoming free agents who New England players really played for all these years - the grumbly, hobbity, curmudgeon of a coach or the awesome, smooth, genius former player of personnel who's now a GM and is throwing money at everyone while firing Herm Edwards.

Aw Crap.



Now who am I going to taunt Steeler's fans about losing?

IMMEDIATE UPDATE: Yes I know he was traded. But that just reinforces the premise that Pioli wants what the Pats already have.

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HHR, OntheDL's Dan Levy, JE Skeets on JSF Podcast

Click image to get episode and subscribe to the show...


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Thursday, February 26, 2009

A-Rod Cousin Definitely Not On Steroids Anymore

Bigs ups to the Daily News for providing a solid photo of A-Rod's steroid-toting cousin Yuri Sucart. Sucart, who allegedly obtained steroids for A-Rod between 2001-2003, showed up in Tampa at Yankees Spring Training leaving nothing to the imagination on his current physique.


Sucart, sporting one of those dry-fit Nike tops, happily displays his supple man breasts and rotund midsection proving he is no longer likely on the "boli."

To add insult to injury, he was told today by the Yankees to stay away from team facilities and hotels.


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HHR Hugs it Out [2.25.09]


Jennifer Jones Is Heating Up The Curling Rinks (Total Pro Sports)

Meet Andy Martino: the newest man on the Phillies’ beat (The Sports Complex)


Rex Grossman's 10 worst moments (In game now)


Pro wrestler’s finishing move should have been The Big Gulp (Philly Edge)


Top 10 Movie Serial Killers (Gunaxin)

SOME COMIC RELIEF: Green Lantern’s OTHER weakness (gadjunk)

You should be watching: Important things with Demetri Martin (Blog of Hilarity)

Adriana Lima Denies Pregnancy Rumors (MoonDog Sports)

Marbury and Garnett ready to party like old times? (Cuzoogle)

How To Heal A Broken Foot - Boobs On The Beach. (YepYep)

Will Ferrell is Nate Robinson’s muse (Observation Bubble)

OctoMom Offered $1 Mill For Porno. In Other News, Porn Industry Loses Its Mind. (The Bachelor Guy)

Arrested Development: The Movie is a go, people (Brahsome)

Jana Cova Is Why God Created Women… (The Beer Goggler)



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John Kerry Suggests Not Breathing on Tom Brady


In a wide ranging, and surprisingly silly interview, former presidential candidate and current Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John Kerry lets would-be pass-rushers opposing the New England Patriots know how things would be if he were president... for a moment:
Q: You’re president of the United States for enough time to make only one executive decision. What is it?
A: Any opposing player who sacks, tackles, touches, breathes on or looks directly at Tom Brady is declared an enemy combatant.
Now this scenario is unlikely to ever occur, but as Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, don't forget the fact that John Kerry has the power to write a sternly worded letter.

But he is correct in a sense. In order to protect our most treasured national treasures, we sometimes must impose sweeping and outlandish punishments to deter attacks. So the logical solution here is to put Brady under bulletproof glass and allow him to only be viewed at specific times in a controlled environment. If it's good enough for the constitution, it's damn good enough for Tom Brady.

Either that, or he could be encased in Carbonite a la Han Solo. He'd be shielded from contact and it probably wouldn't affect his mobility much at all.

[via Politco's Answer This]


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The Next Great Master Debaters

Watching First Take this morning and caught an interview segment with future Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson.

First off, WOW. How that man orders a sandwich, calls information or gets through a day is beyond my thought process. But it got me to thinking about the untapped potential of a television and English train wreck that is Rickey. It was reminiscent of a former TV analyst and football Hall of Famer, Emmitt Smith.

Now that Emmitt is unemployed and Rickey is officially, officially retired (Hear that Rickey? RETIRED. Once you are enshrined, you are DONE) I think they would make the perfect hosts for.....

PTI (Pardon the Inter-matriculation)

Imagine the new words/phrases, uncomfortable smiles, panic induced laughing fits and sheer confusion on their faces as they stumble through just ONE topic.

Of course, the debate section would only last five minutes and the other twenty-five minutes would be dedicated to asking "Stat Boy" Steve Young "Stevie, what did we not get done so good?"

Good night Cananada!




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Get Off My Head, Bro!

I love when "tough-guy" hippie protestors get taken down and they whine and squeal like little girls. If there's one thing more annoying than Ann Coulter, it's the weisneheimers that break her balls (yes, she has them).

Thank goodness Paul Blart was on the scene.


Ewing Police arrest student at Ann Coulter lecture












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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

HHR Hugs it Out [2.25.09]



Megan Fox Finally Broke Up With David Silver! (Sharapova’s Thigh)

99 Words for Boobs (Gunaxin)

Adrianna Lima Already Pregnant? (MoonDog Sports)

One lion away from forming Craptron (gadjunk)

A reality show hybrid (This is Illuminati)

Short Bus Field Trip (YepYep)

Hey A-Roid, This is How an Apology Should Go (The Bachelor Guy)

…awful (The World of Isaac)

Shana Prevette Is A Harley Davidson Riding Fox (The Beer Goggler)

The government couldn’t even bailout a whore house (Brahsome)

This guy loves his boogers (Blog of Hilarity)


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Calvin Murphy Undergos Extensive Physical Change for Quince More Minutes of Fame

Seizing on the opportunity to capitalize on the media frenzy surrounding "Octo-Mom" Nadya Suleman, embattled and fertile NBA Hall of Famer Calvin Murphy is said to be rapidly altering his physical appearance to look more like Hollywood headcase Angelina Jolie.

The transformation, insiders say, is a move by Murphy, who now insists on being referred to solely as "Catorce-Dad," to thrust himself back into the limelight in an effort to raise money via taxpayers and the Internet to pay off his insurmountable legal and child support bills.

HHR got a hold of this exclusive before-and-after picture, where you can see "Catorce-Dad" actually more resembles Mrs. Pitt than does Suleman.


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Patron Saint, F*ck Face Get Balls Broken

Leave it up to the New York Post's Page Six to not leave well enough alone.

OFF-FIELD MEMORIES

MAJOR League Baseball hates scandal, yet two on- air personalities on its new MLB Network were once caught up in controversy. Three years ago, former Seattle Mariner Harold Reynolds was canned from ESPN after alleged sexual harassment. Reynolds called the charge "a total misunderstanding . . . I gave a woman a hug, and I felt like it was misinterpreted," and he won a seven-figure, wrongful termination suit. Still, veteran radio sports producer Tom Somach told Page Six he was surprised by the hiring, asking, "What kind of message does that send?" And working as a guest analyst is Baltimore Oriole Billy Rip ken, whose 1989 baseball card showed him holding a bat with "[bleep] face" written on the knob. The card was yanked and re vised. MLB flack Matt Bourne called Reynolds "an exemplary employee in every way" and said Ripkin's card flap was "a very minor incident and what I would term as seemingly a prank."

"Baseball the Ripken Way"

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My Name is Marko


Let’s see, you’re a tall lanky white dude. You’re stuck playing for the Memphis Grizzlies. Worse, you’re stuck on the bench for said Grizzlies and are averaging less than 10 minutes and 2 points per game. Oh, and did I mention you play for the Grizzlies?

Your reward? You get to marry a Victoria’s Secret model.


Who says karma doesn’t work?


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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

HHR Hugs it Out [2.24.09]


The Lesser Known Mt. Rushmore: Day One (Tirico Suave)

The Joe Girardi Hairstyle challenge (NJ.com)

Baseball's Folk Hero (Gem Mint Ten)

15 hottest movie cheerleaders (Uncoached)

Nate Robinson Has A Man Crush On Will Ferrell (Total Pro Sports)

Quick, run up and tackle Shaq (Major League Jerk)

Pride & Prejudice…& Predator?!?!? WTF?!?!? (Observation Bubble)

The Girls of Mardi Gras (Gunaxin)

Innovations In Toaster Design (YepYep)

15 hottest movie cheerleaders (Uncoached)

Julia Anderson is a True Beauty (Celebridiot)

Happy Pancake Day (This is Illuminati)

Odd vanity plates (Afrojacks)

Cal Bears Pole Vaulter Allison Stokke Now In Hi Res! (Banned In Hollywood)

Happy Birthday Sophie Howard (MoonDog Sports)

From vacuum cleaner sales to porn star. Insert suck joke here. (The Bachelor Guy)

Even The Ladies Will Fight On Fat Tuesday (Busted Coverage)

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Next Question

Jim Calhoun has a point. Big time college athletic programs are worth their weight in gold to their respective universities both in terms of revenue and national exposure. He earns his keep.

Locally, Greg Schiano goes through the same shit with people bitching about his $1m tax-payer funded salary, despite him raising Rutgers' profile infinitely over the course of the last several years, and bringing in dollars that accompany it.

Yeah times are tough. Suck it up like everyone else. Don't hate on Calhoun or Schiano or anyone else who earns a buck because you are a lowly newsman in a dying medium.



H/T Andrew Sullivan via Assassin Ave.


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Someone Tell Madden Nation

In addition to anti-social behavior, pasty, sun-deprived skin and a false sense of reality, Swiss scientists have identified a condition they are referring to as "PlayStation palmar hidradentitis" which is caused by "too tight a grip on the console and furiously pushing the buttons" and "can cause a newly identified skin disorder marked by painful lumps on the palms."

Further, "Other researchers have identified acute tendonitis from playing too much of Nintendo Co Ltd's Wii, and now a disorder related to the PlayStation can be added to the list, the team said."

XBoxers everywhere would point and laugh, but that would require them peeling their asses off their piss-ridden couches.


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Joe Girardi Hairstyle Challenge

With Yankee manager Joe Girardi claiming that his trademark crew cut is a sign of his intensity, NJ.com is hosting the "Joe Girardi Hairstyle Challenge" to give fans the opportunity to portray the skipper with a less-authoritarian 'do.

Our submission: "The Baby Boss."


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Man Popped in Philly Crime Spree Accused of Looking Like Kerry Collins


With the sound low, my glasses off and book in hand, I saw the above mug shot on the television screen last night and asked my wife, "Holy shit, did Kerry Collins get arrested again?"

Turns out that a man named "Peter Rauchet" has been charged in 22 burglaries. Collins' whereabouts at post time remain unconfirmed.


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Straight Out of Starsky and Hutch

Word on the street is...if you want to score some illegal narcotics from a shady Dominican, the best place to look is a Florida pool hall.

It's also the place Joe Girardi felt the need to let his troops blow off some steam, even if they are an admitted user and someone who was popped with a DUI.


What Andrew Brackman doesn't realize is that if you stand to close when a Chinaman's trying to shoot, someone gonna cut your ass.


More photos available at NJ.com's Star Ledger gallery. No sign of Cousin Yuri.

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It Wasn't About the Ball*


Last July, designer Marc Ecko handed over to Cooperstown Barry Bonds' record-breaking 756 ball after he had purchased it for $752,467 at auction in September 2007, and not before branding it with an asterisk per the call of the public.

When Ecko decided to leave the fate of the ball to an Internet vote, some people called it stupidity, some called it blasphemy, others cheered him on. What no one cared to realize in their polarized preaching on Ecko's actions was that it had nothing to do with the object. Or Bonds. Or even baseball.

Ecko, a master of guerrilla marketing which he honed in the leaner, earlier years of his company, parlayed that $750k into making him, and subsequently his company, the topic of national discussion. You played right into his hands.

Gracing the cover of Inc. Magazine's March 2009 issue, the accompanying piece on Ecko highlighted the designer's unorthodox approach to branding his company.

The Bonds ball shenanigans were no different.

Inc.: ...Dominating the blogosphere and landing on newspaper front pages everywhere, the campaign garnered millions of dollars' worth of publicity and reinforced the edgy, youthful image of the brand.

Ecko: "The common thread between that and Air Force One is they are both ridiculous ideas, so people would say, "Why would you do that?" I was prepared to pay whatever it cost. I thought it would go for more. The Bonds ball was such a loaded object. It was so rich in content. Baseball is the national game. Yet there is the hypocrisy in the baseball culture that helped build it to this level. And we needed to to put a face on the mistakes, with Bonds and Mark McGuire and Jose Canseco. It was being debated on the Internet. I thought, Take this hard news and make it go American Idol. It was a social experiment. It was a little P.T. Barnum. You had that moment to bid on it. How could you not engage?

It was also a little of a liability. Some people were put off by it. But what does your brand stand for? Economically and culturally, we've been on steroids. Everything has a performance-enhancing substance built into the matrix. This wasn't about Barry as much as it was about the system. It's also getting people to see the way I think. From a marketing point of view, it's something I need to do more of."


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Monday, February 23, 2009

US Senator, HoF Pitcher, Soothsayer

Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning, most known for his stints with the Phillies and Tigers, caused some fuss this past weekend when the Kentucky Republican commented that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg probably isn't gonna win her battle with the big casino.

"Bad cancer. The kind you don't get better from. Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live."

Coincidentally, RBG returned to the bench today, evoking kind words from Bunning, "I apologize if my comments offended Justice Ginsburg. It is great to see her back at the Supreme Court today and I hope she recovers quickly."


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HHR Hugs it Out [2.23.09]


Keyshawn Disgraces Iron Chef America (Legend of Cecilio Guante)

Joe Maddon ain't shy about his genius; rookie hazing (Bugs and Cranks)

Softball Guy Winter Warm-up (Joe Sports Fan)

José Guillen is a frickin masochist. (The Sports Biotch)

This is what your dad pole-dancing would look like (Blog of Hilarity)

Thigh of the Week: Minka Kelly (Sharapova’s Thigh)

Bulletproof Hair Weave Saves Woman’s Life (YepYep)

Busty Polish Beauty, Ewa Sonnet (Gunaxin)

People We Hate: Whiny college acoustic covers (Afrojacks)

Kellita Smith: Brown Sugar Never Looked so Good (MoonDog Sports)

Top 10 favorite cartoons as a kid (Cuzoogle)

Orko was an O.G.: Original Gay (gadjunk)

If Bartenders Could Do What They Really Wanted To (The Bachelor Guy)

Lindsay Lohan Is Taking Her Two Hot Friends Out Partying (The Beer Goggler)

The Anti-Duke Manifesto (Brahsome)

ZOMBIES AHEAD: You should probably pay attention to a sign like this (Observation Bubble)


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Julio Lugo Has Lost a Step

If you are fighting to prevent being replaced in the lineup by an up-and-comer still recovering from a wrist injury, it's a good idea to demonstrate in clear terms what makes you the superior player. The best way to do that, as Julio Lugo correctly decided, is to race a small child in front of everyone. Beat him soundly and show you are not one to be trifled with.


But, much like a straightforward groundball, Lugo bobbles this opportunity as well. It appears he selected his son to race him; a huge miscalculation on his part. Little Julio Jr. has seen more than anyone how terrible his father is at shortstop. He's only three, but this kid understands he's got a rep to protect someday. By beating or even keeping pace with his dad he virtually ensures Jed Lowrie is in the lineup as the starter, thus preventing Julio Sr. from sullying his good name.

This is either the act of a very very mature three year old or a three year old being represented by Scott Boras.

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Rusty Reckons: Why I Turned the Race Off

Last night, I turned off the television and didn't watch the last 50 laps or so of the race. As far as I'm concerned, NASCAR didn't deserve being rewarded with my loyalty after Junior went to the garage. My loyalty last night stopped at my driver. It's unfortunate, but I just think NASCAR needs to get real about when they scheduled that race.

It was Oscar night, and NASCAR in it's infinite wisdom decides to start the race at 6:00 p.m. Eastern. What toothbrush dancing chimpanzee came up with that brilliant idea? NASCAR actually is trying to compete against the Academy Awards? I realize there might not be a lot of demographic similarities in these two events, but c'mon!!! If you want to become a major player in the American sports world, you've gotta make smart decisions about when you start/finish races.

Lucky for me, doesn't look like I missed too much. Matt "Snooze" Kenseth won again, making him one of only a handful of drivers to win the 500 and the next race. Las Vegas this coming weekend should be a little better, though. I'll tell ya later in the week how the progressive banking makes for better racing. Before I saunter off to sulk about Junior's position of 35 in the points, I'll comment on what I'm sure you've been waiting for me to write about...the Junior-Vickers incident at Daytona.

Junior did not wreck Vickers intentionally, just like NASCAR said. June bug's the first one to apologize when he's done wrong. He's not afraid to admit he's wrong and apologize. Heck, he's even apologized when it won't his fault. In all his racing career he's been known to be a respectful driver that doesn't go around wrecking people. So, the haters can holler all they want. Junior's reputation speaks for itself. He ain't to blame for Vickers wrecking; Vickers is. Be sure your sins will find you out, Mr. Vickers.

(forward to about the 1:50 mark)




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Renowned Acting Coach Has Washed-Up 90's Star Do Steven A. Impression

Yesterday wrapped up the first season of the Chachi, Eric Bishoff, Wayne-from-The-Wonder-Years reality TV show masterpiece Confessions of a Teen Idol, in which "seven former teen idols [...lived] together under one roof, and Scott Baio will [took] on the challenge of remaking their careers."

In an episode leading up to the finale, effeminate acting coach Howard Fine had the boy go through several different techniques to master a casting call. HOWEVA, one such practice, as former abusive 90210 star Jamie Walters found out, turned out to be doing a Steven A. Smith impression.

See the impression at the 2:10 mark in all its glory.




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A Facebook Cause the Sports Blogosphere Can Really Get Behind

I usually ignore every Mob War request, passed drink and cause invitation that comes my way on Facebook.

But sometimes I put my distaste for the relentless solicitation practices of my "friends" on the social network aside in favor of doing what's morally right.

So when this popped into my "Requests" bucket, I had to give it a second look:

"Support my cause, Petition To Get Pole Dancing in 2012 Olympics. Help by joining, donating, or inviting your friends!
"

Petition To Get Pole Dancing in 2012 Olympics

To Get Pole Dancing/Pole Fitness Recognized As A Legitimate Athletic Sport
Positions:

1. Like the horizontal bar, the vertical bar (pole) should have a place in international competitive sport.
2. Pole Dance/Pole Fitness is acrobatic, technical and takes disciplined physical skill and strength to master.
3. Over 50 countries world wide take part in lessons, workshops, conventions, competitions and teacher training.

Category:
International - Service and Other
Description:
Challenging Paradigms: Vertical Ballet As Olympic Sport

par·a·digm (pār'ə-dīm', -dĭm') n. A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them.

Vertical Ballet just sounds like it should be an Olympic sport, doesn't it? Afterall, "vertical" implies gravity defiance with a dangerous suspenseful element, and "ballet" represents that strikingly beautiful blended art form which is the epitome of athleticism and grace.

Well, what about Pole Dancing? Funny how we as humans are often blind to things which challenge our preconceived notions. We are predisposed to see things we believe to be true based on a "remembered past " -- however, we know that perception (visual, psychological, intellectual) is a matter of interpretation, NOT fact.

Like the horizontal bar, the vertical bar should have a place in international competitive sport. Yes, we are referring to Pole Dance/Pole Fitness. Like Rhythmic Gymnastics, the Horizontal Bar and Figure Skating, Pole Dance/Pole Fitness is acrobatic, technical and takes disciplined physical skill and strength to master. Over 50 countries world wide take part in lessons, workshops, conventions, competitions and teacher training. Petition signatures are currently being gathered to present to the International Olympic Committee to recognize our sport.

Did you know that other recognized sports include:
Billiard Sports
Bowling
Bridge
Chess
Cricket
Golf
Korfball
Life Saving
Motorcycle Racing
Mountaineering and Climbing
Netball
Orienteering
Powerboating
Racquetball
Roller Skating
Surfing
Sumo
Tug of War
Underwater Sports
Water Skiing
Wushu

Join us in shattering old paradigms. Allow us to define and celebrate our sport for the athletic, graceful art it is:

Sign Petition to Make Pole Dance/Pole Fitness An Olympic Sport

http://verticaldance.com/poledan...

Bringing Athleticism And Elegance To Our Sport,

Collette Kakuk
OC Pole Fitness
4 Journey (upstairs)
Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

949.360.4600



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Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Heart, Hussle and Soul of the Game

For weeks now, we have been trying to get to the bottom of the question, "What is G?"

Today, we've taken one step closer to solving that mystery.





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He's No Gino, But He'll Do

At many a Celtics game, the audience is graced with the hypnotic dancing of Gino. But I think the Garden may have a new dancer to emulate. Granted, it requires the lethal combination of Bon Jovi and Budweiser, but that's OK.


You know, I think this guy might have been at my wedding. Come to think of it, the reason he looks so familiar is he's been to every wedding ever. And for those of you who have not met our friend Gino, please check him out at the 16 second mark here.



via Bostonist.

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Yankees Scammed

NY Post via FanNation: Yankees caught in billionaire's scam

"R. Allen Stanford's alleged $8 billion fraud has claimed its most high-profile victims yet: Yankee outfielders Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady."
We got a hold of Stanford's solicitation to the ballplayers:

GREATINGS KINDS SIRS. I COME TO YOU WITH GREAT HOPE AND LOVE FROM GOD IN REFERENCE THE $9898 DOLLAR BILLION ESTATES OF A MAN SIR JOHN LONGPENIS OF NIGERIA



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Friday, February 20, 2009

Free Verne


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HHR Hugs it Out [2.19.09]


Sports-movies list with a different twist (Orlando Sentinal)

Are You Smarter Than an NFL Prospect? Take the Wonderlic (Real Clear Sports)

George Steinbrenner: The Final Countdown (Bugs and Cranks)

Arrested Development (More Hardball)

2009 Oscar Predictions (Gunaxin)

Top Sugar-ific Candies of the 90s (Ice Ice Babies)

With "FOTC" Likely Ending, How About A Spin-Off With Murray? (Sharapova's Thigh)

Holly Sampson: The Wonder Years (MoonDog Sports)

Little kid gets worked by a gi-normous medicine ball during dodgeball (Brahsome)

Man steals money from Girl Scouts but didn't take cookies (Observation Bubble)

Margarita facts and recipes for National Margarita Day (The Bachelor Guy)

AnnaLynne McCord Comes In At Over 400,000 Scoville Units (The Beer Goggler)


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The Galloping Ghost: Q&A with Red Grange Biographer Gary Andrew Poole

This week, as college standouts showcase their talents before pro scouts at the NFL Combine, players of all skill levels hope to raise their draft stock and secure the lucrative contracts that come with playing in country's premiere sports league. This is a far cry from the practices that accompanied the golden years of professional football, when it was still struggling against baseball, boxing and horse racing for both legitimacy and the public's attention.

One man in that era (along with those associated with his stardom) helped shape the League as we know it today, by transforming both the college and pro game and its perception with the public.




Harold "Red" Grange is considered the greatest college football player who ever lived. While "Western" football was looked at as far inferior to the Ivys of the East, the Illinois standout legitimized the sport as one that appealed beyond the silver-spooned campuses of Yale, Penn and Princeton and paved the way for programs in the Midwest to showcase some of the country's best talent.

Known for his effortless gait, the Galloping Ghost's legacy is one that has rarely been looked at in depth, despite his unprecedented contributions to the game. At a time when most college players, especially superstars, capitalized on their stardom by forgoing the stigmatic notion of turning pro in favor of a white collar desk job, Grange's decision to sign with the Chicago Bears turned the college football community on its head. With Grange bringing tens of thousands of fans to pro stadiums across the country, he created a frenzied rush by other teams to emulate the Bears' model of signing and showcasing a major entertainment attraction.

Grange wasn't alone. His chief confidant-turned-agent, a noted con man named C.C. Pyle, saw the potential that the floundering NFL had, and flaunted it to his and his client's financial benefit (as well as that of NFL owners...when Grange was in town, at least).

It came a cost. Literally fresh off his college season, Pyle booked the Ghost and his Bears on a grueling nationwide barnstorming tour that often had the team playing 2-3 games a week.

While his health, and subsequently performance, suffered, Grange was still a box office hit, as fans clamored to witness the rumored legend that was so eloquently painted by respected sports writers of the day.

In September, The Galloping Ghost: Red Grange, an American Football Legend by Gary Andrew Poole was released. Poole revisits Grange's legend and his impact on college and pro football as we know it.

We recently caught up with the author to discuss his book.


HuggingHaroldReynolds: Red Grange is widely considered the greatest college football player ever and is often credited with legitimizing the professional game. Yet, until your latest biography on him, few major accounts of his life have been published. Why are football's golden years and its players often overlooked, and what made you decide to fill the void and pen a piece on the Galloping Ghost?

Gary Andrew Poole: Football hasn't always been a super-popular subject. Of course, there have been some excellent books written about football, but the publishing industry considered it a second-tier category in the sports genre. Baseball, golf and even boxing have traditionally dominated the sports bookshelf. (There is a cottage industry in Babe Ruth biographies.) But football has become our national game so there is more interest in it from publishers, authors, and readers. I have noticed that more quality football titles have been written over the last couple years. You can look at last fall in which a whole bunch of football books were released, including Jeff Pearlman's Boys Will Be Boys and Michael Rosenberg's War As They Knew It. Many of the books have been about more recent history. I thought there was a real gap in books about the early history of the game. I was shocked that no major publisher had tackled the Grange story. Not only did I think there was a great narrative to tell, I thought Grange--the Babe Ruth of football--was an overlooked figure. Many people consider Grange the most important figure in football, both college and pro; ESPN named him the greatest ever college football player; he was America's first national football hero and thanks to his charismatic and conniving manager, he was America's first sports commodity as well. I just thought there needed to be a major biography of this guy.

You also asked about why football of this era gets overlooked. Baseball, boxing, and just about every other major sport, haven't drastically changed over the years, but football looks much different. Baseball--minus the steroids era--is pretty much the same game that was played in the 1920s. But football was a radically different game in the 1920s. At its highest levels it was an exciting game, but it was more of an endurance sport (players often played the whole game, offense and defense); passing was a smaller element because the ball was wider and more difficult to throw; and kicking played into strategy much more (it wasn't unusual to punt on first down to backup your opponent). I wanted to give people a context to appreciate it, and to understand how football has evolved. It is virtually impossible to compare statistics and there isn't much film footage, even of Grange, the greatest player of that era. Through my book's narrative, I try and give modern readers a sense of the game, and the drama playing on and off the field.

HHR: Illinois coach Bob Zuppke essentially rolled the dice in terms of recruiting given his aversion to many of the practices and because of his own personal philosophies, and almost missed out in landing Grange. Had Grange not gone to his home-state university, would history have been different and what is that chance that the football world would have missed out on one of its greatest talents?

GAP: That's a hell of a tough question. Along with Michigan's Fielding Yost and Notre Dame's Knute Rockne, Bob Zuppke was one of that era's greatest coaches. He was very creative and invented the "flea flicker," among other plays. He was also more than willing to pass the ball, which was looked upon as pretty crazy back in that era. Grange really thrived under Zuppke, and in turn Zup's reputation was forever tied to Grange's success, but Zup couldn't lower himself to beg a 17-year-old kid to play football for Illinois. He would have been embarrassed to act like Lane Kiffen, Charlie Weiss, Urban Meyer, Pete Carroll or other modern coaches as they glad-hand a high school kid...If Zup could have watched modern recruiting practices he would puke. Zuppke saw football as a way to learn discipline and leadership, and he believed that playing football at a university was an honor; football was a maker of men, not an end to itself. After his last college game, Grange decided to turn pro, which was shocking to Zuppke and the rest of the college football establishment. Zuppke, a surrogate father to Grange, was upset and didn't really talk with his greatest pupil for a couple years.

Would history be different without the Zuppke-Grange partnership? Zup would devise his whole game plan around Grange, and he was also very good at motivating the Galloping Ghost. So I don't know. If Grange would have gone to Michigan or Notre Dame, he might have had more consistently good players around him, but he would have been in much more plodding offenses...Zuppke and Grange formed a perfect storm: Zuppke's creativity as a coach, and Grange's creativity as a runner. But no matter where Grange played, I am guessing he would have excelled. In several of his greatest games, he almost single-handedly won the contests. Grange would have a terrible team around him and he was still able to dominate and even astonish some of the best teams in the country. Those games, in which Grange had to overcome great adversity, created his legend.

HHR: C.C. Pyle is painted throughout the book as a con-man. While the physical ramifications of Grange's career have undoubtedly been negatively affected by their association, has Grange's reputation and legacy at all been tarnished by Pyle's involvement?

GAP: Maybe Pyle hurt Grange's reputation, for a time, back in the 1920s, but Pyle was his own force of nature and I think the public came to realize that Grange had benefited from the relationship in many ways. I think the public simply saw Grange as naïve.

HHR: Despite his unsavory ways, Pyle in many ways can be credited as being one of the innovators who helped shape both the game as we know it today, as well as the role agents have taken in modern sports. Can you elaborate?

GAP: Many people see Pyle as a conman and I go to great lengths to narrate his rather dubious dealings, but I also see Pyle as a creative force, and an overlooked figure in sports history. He was Grange’s Col. Parker (i.e. Elvis’ manager). It was Pyle's plan to make Grange into a pro, which was outlandish in the 1920s because pro football was a joke. Pyle also realized that marketing the pro game and creating stars resonated with the public. Pyle was an entertainer, an old vaudeville guy who had many connections in Hollywood. He understood the power of movies, sports imagery, and the press, and he had the smarts to create schemes for Grange, many of which vaulted Grange from great college football player to cultural icon. Without Pyle, Grange might have been remembered as a great college player, but nothing more. For better or worse, he paved the way for Drew Rosenhaus and his ilk.

Photo: Pro Football HoF
Grange signing pro contract with Bears co-owners Edward Sternaman and George Halas (left) and Grange's manager C.C. Pyle (right).


HHR: A handful of East Coast sports writers played a large role in legitimizing the pro game by bringing it to the masses. Luckily, in their eyes, Red lived up to expectations. Had Grange not performed the way he had in the Illinois-Penn game, how different a course would the sport have taken?

GAP: Let me give the HHR readers a little context. Back in 1925, Illinois went to Philly to play the University of Pennsylvania. Penn was considered a national championship contender (the national title nonsense was as big a clusterf*!k back in the '20s as it is today). Except for Red Grange, Illinois was not a very good team. Penn was expecting to rout the Illini. All of the big time New York writers came to Philly to watch the contest. They were half-expecting to see Grange fall on his face, but he single-handedly took over the game and ran for 363 yards and three touchdowns. They were astonished. He already had a national reputation but playing on the East Coast and dominating a great team made him into the equivalent of Babe Ruth, and in fact many of the writers were saying he was more popular than Ruth. The florid writing and the newsreels featuring Grange made him into a demi-god.

Then Grange decided to turn pro. This move was greeted with great skepticism by the press, but fans loved the idea. In the 1920s, many people worked on Saturdays and it wasn't always easy to get tickets to college games—the tickets were expensive, and many people were living in cities so getting to a place like South Bend, Indiana wasn't always so easy. Grange took the game to people and they gobbled it up. He went on a nation-wide barnstorming tour and he sold out games in Chicago, New York, Boston, D.C., Tampa, New Orleans, Los Angeles...everywhere. The football wasn't always so great because Grange and his teammates were playing several games a week but Grange's tour helped legitimize the game. The media was tracking Grange across the country, and after the tour he starred in a movie and endorsed many products, and then tried to break the NFL by starting his own league. He was quite powerful and popular. He became exceedingly rich through pro football in a time in which most players were making $200 a game. Pro football would have eventually become more popular, I am guessing, but Grange really jumpstarted the pro game and created legitimacy, not only with fans but players. He made it ok for a college player to join the pros. George Halas said what television is to the modern era, Grange was to the earlier era.

Just to give readers a little more context, the great sportswriter W.C. Heinz wrote a profile of Grange in 1958, and I think it personifies an older generation’s awe of The Galloping Ghost.

“When I was ten years old I paid ten cents to see Red Grange run with a football. That was the year when, one afternoon a week, after school was out for the day, they used to show us movies in the auditorium, and we would all troop up there clutching our dimes, nickels or pennies in our fists.

“The movies were, I suppose, carefully selected for their educational value…but I remember only the one about Grange.

“I remember, in fact, only one shot. Grange, the football cradled in one arm, started down the field toward us. As we sat there in the dim, flickering light of the movie projector, he grew larger and larger. I can still see the rows and rows of us, with our thin little necks and bony heads, all looking up at the screen and Grange, enormous now, rushing right at us, and I shall never forget it. That was thirty-three years ago.”


HHR: As a journalist, what is your impression of (and perhaps appreciation for) the poetic nature journalists in the 20's portrayed athletes in the absence of 24/7 televised coverage, and ultimately in helping modern historians to piece together facts? Is the notion that many of them protected athletes by glossing over unsavory facts hurt their credibility, especially as we witness the opposite extreme today? Were they preserving or forging facts/reality?

GAP: I actually wrote an essay about this same subject in the Columbia Journalism Review (January/February issue); the article-- Back to the Future: How sports writing can recapture its relevance-- delves into the history of sport writing, the impact of the Web and blogs, and how modern sports writing could be better.

But to directly answer your question: Some of the story leads went over-the-top but when you get into the guts of many of the game stories, there is an enormous amount of reporting and wonderfully rendered detail. Did they protect athletes? To some degree. But I wouldn't simply categorize it as glossing over unsavory facts; I don't think the sports writers were blindly protecting athletes. Remember, a lot of these sports writers had been in World War I, child mortality rates were higher, life was harsher...Sports were seen as games, as a relief from the struggles of life. There was a maturity and perspective on sports. We live in a different era, and sports and athletes are taken more seriously. Did 1920s writers gloss over too much? Perhaps, or maybe they had a more realistic view of human nature and a more mature perspective. As our society has become more educated and softer and athletes have become richer and treated as outsiders, we have taken a harsher, more adversarial, and cynical view of athletics.

But I don't think the writers ignored everything. Grange allegedly had a kid out of wedlock and the writers wrote about it; they talked about his pathetic vaudeville act when he was gong broke; when he was playing terribly and a member of his entourage started a riot in the stands, the press talked about it. I spent three years reading newspaper articles of the early era of sports writing. There is a stereotype that sports writers were protecting everyone and I just don't think that rings true. Some of the writers were pretty damn harsh. Like in any era, there is good writing and bad writing/good reporting and bad reporting, but in the earlier era there was a maturity level; a sense of human nature, its glories and foibles. Sports is an important subject and it deserves dogged reporting. But in modern journalism an athlete will be caught doing some nefarious act and the foaming-at-the-mouth tone demonstrated by the press often seems ridiculous, false, hypocritical, and rather immature to me.

By the way in the researching and writing of my book I didn't rely simply on newspaper accounts. I decided to take a modern approach to my subject and dig deeper than my 1920s compatriots. It was an exhaustive effort. To give events more perspective, I dug up courts records, police reports, oral histories, etc. from the 1920s. I didn't want to write a love letter to Grange and the era; I wanted to write a real story. For example, I spent a year finding Grange's "illegitimate" daughter. So I used newspaper accounts in my book, but I always tried to double-check the journalists of the day with primary sources, as well.

HHR: With the uncertainty of professional football in the 20's, Grange's dive into the pros was a calculated gamble to capitalize on both his popularity and physical ability. Had he and Pyle not taken the path they chose, between the barnstorming and the ramped up publicity machine, how long would it have taken the NFL's founding fathers, most of whom were football purists despite the knocks on the pro game, to realize the commercial appeal and marketability of the stars?

GAP: Pre-Grange, the NFL was doing ok: a few thousand people would come to the games. Grange joined the NFL and Pyle promoted him like crazy. People came in droves to watch Grange and he sold out stadiums all over the country. The next season the NFL owners were promoting individual stars. But I think they would have figured it out eventually.

HHR: Throughout the book, Grange is put on the same Mount Rushmore of sports with Babe Ruth, Jack Dempsey and Bobby Jones. For the benefit of our young readers, is there any modern day athlete whose impact and ability can be most likened to Red?

GAP: In his glory days, he was the kind of guy people had to see. He brought drama to the game. He seemed to always perform in the clutch. He was a Tiger Woods- like figure.

HHR: Your website is brilliant and vibrant. Tell us a little about your podcast, some of your other projects and what's next for GAP.

GAP: Thanks. We worked hard on it, and I really hope people check it out, particularly the Experience section of the site. As for my podcast, it mostly has interviews with me on my book tour, but I am hoping to put more on it--interviews and essays--in the near future. I also have a blog. It is called In The Fray and I typically highlight great sports writing, post commentary, and write some other observations. For the last several months it has become a chronicle of my book tour, but I am phasing out the navel-gazing and getting back to its original mission. As for other projects, I am working on some articles, and I am also working on a new book proposal, which is another sports book but set in modern times.


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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dr. Yuri Effed Up

There was an interesting quote in A-Rod's presser that hasn't gotten enough attention.

"We went outside team doctors, team trainers. It was two guys doing a very amateur and immature thing. We probably didn't even take it right."

First, let me say this...If you are going to take these drugs, for pete's sake take them correctly.

Second, I think the fact that journalists didn't follow-up on this comment solidifies the role of investigative bloggers like HHR have in bringing the public answers to burning questions.

Here's what we dug up (via our cousin whose identity we intend to protect)...

Dr. Cousin Yuri, when procuring the drugs, did A-Rod no favors when he accidentally put this label on it:


Cousin A-Rod, being "young and stupid" and not knowing any better, put the shit in his ear.

Case closed.


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Senile Wrestling Legend Relives Glory Days, Accused of Beating Fellow Senior to Death

Photo: Minnesota Historical Society

From Twincities.com:

Police said [Verne] Gagne, 82, threw his roommate, Helmut R. Gutmann, 97, to the floor on Jan. 26, breaking his leg and injuring his head, according to KMSP-TV. Gutmann was treated for his injuries, but was later rehospitalized, the station said. He died Saturday.

The men lived at Friendship Village, a care facility for people with Alzheimer's disease and dementia. Both had Alzheimer's-related dementia, KMSP-TV said.

Gagne founded the now-defunct AWA, best known for supplementing actual wrestling with midget sideshows, Ken Patera feats of strength and "matches" featuring Verne's son Greg.


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Separated at Birth: Juiced and Jacked

Being the attention whore that he is, Jose Canseco should have no qualms with me pointing out that he looks like fellow reality TV "star" and headcase Jeremy Jackson of VH1's Confessions of a Teen Idol (who made his bones hassling the Hoff on Baywatch).

"God, we're beautiful."


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The Guv Disses Eagles Fans at Heinz Field

Sporting his lucky black and yellow "Super Bowl" tie, the Guv demonstrates how much better the Steelers are than the Eagles.

In announcing the winner to the essay contest "Why I love the Pittsburgh Steelers" (a twist on the traditonal state vs. state Super Bowl wager Governor Ed Rendell had with Arizona Gov. Janice Brewer in which "The state with the losing team had to put together a vacation for a resident of the state with the winning team,") the Guv took a slap at his hometown Eagles:

"It was a fun contest. We got very few smart-aleck responses. And many of [the essays] were very poignant. One common theme of all of them ... was the love of the town for the Steelers and the fact that the Steelers, probably more than any other NFL franchise, embody the heart and soul of the town."

This from a guy who made his name pelting snowballs on the the field at the Vet as the Cowboys headed the hell out of Dodge.


He did stop short of changing his name to "Ed Rendsteeler."

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Dwight Howard: Ding Fries Are Done

Our friends at McDonald's passed along some great photos of Dwight Howard visiting fans at a McDonald’s in Phoenix before All Star Weekend's Slam Dunk contest.

Dwight Howard (Center) and Bill Walton (2nd from left in yellow) serving up a 1/4 Pounder with Cheese during All-Star Weekend.


Eat your heart out, Mark Cuban.


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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

McDonald's 2009 High School All-American Team Announced


Since 1977, the McDonald's All-American teams have showcased some of the most talented players to ever lace up hi-tops, and have given hoops fans a glimpse of what to expect in the near future of the sport.

Alumni of the list includes elite NBA stars and legends such as Shaq, Zo, MJ, Magic and Zeke.

Today, the 2009 squad was announced and is listed below. Also be sure to check out their phenomenal website and blog for information, as well as past highlights on their YouTube page.




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HHR Hugs it Out [2.18.09]


Carrie Underwood likes to date thugs (Total Pro Sports)

The White Sox are getting creepy (Not Qualified to comment)

Anything Decent I Said About A-Rod...Yea, Forget (Legend of Cecilio Guante)

Top 16 Names for Kid Rock Beer (In game now)

Audrina Patridge Fake Boobs In A Bikini On Beach (Banned In Hollywood)

The Joker wasn’t always evil (Blog of Hilarity)

Cast Me In Your Movie (Sharapova’s Thigh)

My new favorite beer glass (Tasty Booze)

Top 10 Punk’d Pranks (YepYep)

Jenny McCarthy is Still Hot, $50 Million Richer (MoonDog Sports)

Five New Career Paths for Chris Brown (Gunaxin)

Gonzaga Mascot gets a bit inappropriate with cheerleader (The World of Isaac)

The single greatest music video known to man (Observation Bubble)

Blonde Boxer Banned Because of Boobs (The Bachelor Guy)

Between Two Ferns: Zach Galifianakis interviews Jon Hamm (Brahsome)

Katy Perry Is That Girl You Should Have Slept With In High School (The Beer Goggler)

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