Kurt Warner Wanted for Impersonating Police Officer in Philly?

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Tony Romo Can't Hide His Lyin Eyes; Smile is a Thin Disguise

Source according to People Magazine: "[Tony] wanted her to be a house mom and be in Dallas, and he wants to go out and play – and not just football."

Ooooooooooo snap!

"It's been tough for her. Tony had his eyes on everyone but her towards the end."

By "everyone," the source is obviously referring to Jason Whitten.

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Announcing BwB 2.0 Panels & Speakers

Fresh off the success of Blogs With Balls 1.0 on June 13 in New York City, HHR Media and Modern Hombre are proud to announce BWB's role as the organizer of the sports track at this year's BlogWorld & New Media Expo, October 15-17 at the Las Vegas Convention Center.

We have put together another all-star lineup of speakers and presenters that includes not only the top names in the sports blogosphere, but also representatives from respected outlets such as ESPN, Sports Illustrated and the Sporting News, and cutting edge new media agencies.

Individuals such as television, web and print personality Kevin Blackistone, former NFL & NCAA star John Thornton, Deadspin.com editor-in-chief AJ Daulerio and Sacramento Kings VP of Communications Mitch Germann will highlight a series of discussions specific to both sports blogging and sports media in general.

You can view the full current list of panels and speakers here.

Today is also the last day for discounted tickets. Be sure to take advantage.

Like BwB 1.0, we are committed to giving attendees their money's worth, so check back for additional features that go along with the price of admission.

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Audio: Sarge Mathews on Jerking off the Ball

"If it comes, it comes."



Photo credit: The Fightins
Audio H/T: PrestonandSteve.com

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Effingham, Illinois Keeps It Real

From Tweeter @DOWNSOKC: "http://yfrog.com/575bcj Just stopped in Effingham, Illinois for gas and great t-shirts!"

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Jamele Hill and Skip Bayless Still Obsessed with Sexy Quarterbacks

Obviously, Hill and Bayless are basing their judgment on little more than their attraction to the quarterbacks.

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Add Hypocrite to List of Michael Phelps Accolades

Alluding to the fact that the still-legal Arena X-Glide swimsuit (to be banned in 2010) was the main factor in his loss to German Paul Biedermann in the 200-Meter Freestyle at the world swimming championships, Michael Phelps whined, "It's going to be fun next year when swimming is back to swimming."

If true to his word in longing for purer, un-enhanced competition, Phelps, a paid endorser of Speedo and wearer of the company's LZR Racer, should simply return contract money and advocate for swimming naked.

US coach Bob Bowman observed, "The (polyurethane) suits make you go out with ... much less energy cost, so at the end you have a punch. Michael had to work so hard to stay with him for 150, then it's just not there at the end. That's what the suits do. The energy cost is reduced going out, so you finish a lot better."

Interestingly, as the Wall Street Journal pointed out last year, polyurethane was a noted component in the design of the LZR:

It featured a "compression zone" around the torso and other parts of the body that reduced muscle and skin vibration, allowing swimmers to conserve more energy. And Speedo engineers, aided by tests in NASA wind tunnels, applied thin polyurethane panels on the swimsuit to minimize drag.

Despite the fact that the LZR started this technological race, Bowman (a paid endorser for Speedo himself) bellows a cry reminiscent of the most ardent baseball purists, "We've lost all the history of the sport. Does a 10-year-old boy in Baltimore want to break Paul Biedermann's record? The sport is in shambles right now and they better do something or they're going to lose their guy who fills these suits."

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Learn Cricket

In many ways (like soccer), cricket is a sport whose world-wide popularity is lost on Americans. If you pay attention, however, it's quickly growing in exposure.

Peter Della Penna - editor, proprietor and Mr. Everything at TheCricketTier.com - has made it his personal mission to educate US fans on the intricacies (well, really the basics) of the sport. In the process, he has become the game's premiere stateside blogger.

To spread the game's good word, he has been putting out a series of educational posts/videos on different aspects of the game.

Please check them out:

• Cricket 101, Episode 1 – The Ball
• Cricket 101, Episode 2 – The Bat
• Cricket 101, Episode 3 – The Cover Drive
• Cricket 101, Episode 4 – Fast Bowling

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The Big Suckerpunch: Congress Calls Out Shaq While Honoring Kobe, Lakers

It's been a rough few days for the Shaq Daddy.

It started off with a black spot placed on Shaq Diesel's new show when he happened to book a now accused rapist, Ben Roethlisberger, to be a main feature.

A few days later, Congress elbows Shaq Fu in the gut with a resolution honoring the Lakers' NBA championship while calling him out in the process:

"Whereas the Lakers won Game 5 against the Magic by a final score of 99-86, clinching a historic championship, Kobe Bryant's first championship without Shaquille O'Neal,"

Now, the Big Aristotle gets denied at the gates of the White House to philosophize with Obama even though he put on a nice suit.

The Big Shaqtus can't get any love. Hopefully, the new TV show won't have the same divorcing effects as the last one.

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Bizarre Foodie Tackles Lumberjacking with Shana Martin

Andrew Zimmern, the Travel Channel host most known for hopping the globe and eating exotic penis, recently filmed a segment for "Appetite for Life" in Madison Wisonsin in which he trained with 3-Time lumberjack champion Shana Martin. She's not half bad looking.

Click pic for vid...

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The Yao Standard: President Quotes Ming to Soften US-China Relations

Photo: CBS/AP

Having already elicited the philosophical teachings of Turkoglu and Okur to connect with the Turkish Parliament, and Ovechkin before the Russians, in yesterday's remarks to the opening session of the U.S.-China Strategic and Economic Dialogue, the president quoted the Rockets' oft injured center, "No matter whether you are new or an old team member, you need time to adjust to one another." Adding "I'm confident that we will meet Yao's standard."

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Scavenger Hunt: OKC Redhawks

HHR's Cynic is going to the OKC Redhawks game tonight. Kris Benson is pitching. That means a one-item scavenger hunt: Anna Benson.

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Shaq Denied Entrance Into White House

Tweet #1: "Question, I'm n dc, think if I walk up to the white house, they let me in, I kno the answer, let me kno wht u think, o yea I'm wearin shrts."

Tweet #2: "The white house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."

H/T: Politico

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Living Legends

This past weekend, Jim Rice and Rickey Henderson solidified their status among baseball's all-time elite with their induction into the National Hall of Fame. One of those two, Rice, also holds the glorious distinction of being one of 13 lucky living players to be enshrined in both Cooperstown as well as the RBI Baseball Hall of Shame.

Today, we look back at the accomplishments that landed them on this selective list.


Jim Rice

• Was suspended for three games by the club for shoving manager Joe Morgan. Rice was angered when Morgan replaced him with pinch hitter Spike Owen in the 8th inning of Boston's eventual win over Minnesota. I'd push my manager too if he took me out for Spike Owen...
• Is rumored to have an absolutely massive collection of porno
• Is the single-season leader (as well as #2) for most GIDPs

Wade Anthony Boggs

• Sued by a flight attendant for threatening and cursing at her. Apparently the shit went down after she refused to serve Wade a final beer before landing. He pointed his finger in her face and threatened to "kick your fat lips in."
• Sued for $12 million by former mistress Margo Adams for breach of Oral Contract. They later settled out of court.
• Admitted to being a sex addict on National TV
• Missed a few games after injuring his back while pulling up his cowboy boots. It was rumored that Margo Adams played a role in the injury and the boots were a cover-up.
• Was run over by his wife, like with a car. When authorities arrived Boggs claimed that he fell out of the car and she rolled over him without noticing. Riiiight...

George Brett

• Two words - Pine Tar
• Broke his toe in 1986 while running from his kitchen to his TV in order to watch the Bill Buckner play.
• During the '80 World Series, George Brett had an "attack" of hemorrhoids. He said, at a press conference: "Just because you guys are such perfect assholes, I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this. My problems are all behind me." - Thanks to Justin Pagano for this one
• Once, at Royals Stadium, Brett took out his frustration on a trash can. He beat on it with a bat, then threw himself into the trash can. Teammate Jaime Quirk found Brett in the can covered in garbage. *

Gary Carter

• Perceived large ego, love of self-promotion and reputation for only playing hard when a game was televised to a national audience earned him the nickname "Camera Carter"
• Once, after starting to talk and talk and talk after seeing an LA Times reporter approaching his general area during spring training, teammate Warren Cromartie cried out, "Gary, at least wait until the guy asks a question."
• On his 34th birthday, Carter was in the lineup for a game against the Phillies. He went 3 for 3, driving in the Mets' only run with a home run. With 2 out in the 9th, Carter ended the game by getting picked off by Steve Jeltz's hidden ball trick.

Tony Gwynn

• Missed a game after breaking the tip of his finger by slamming it in the door of his Porsche on the way to the bank. I would have guessed the bakery...

Reggie Jackson

• Is baseball's all-time strikeout leader

Paul Molitor

• Dislocated a knuckle when he got it stuck in another player's glove

Cal Ripken

• Involved in one of the strangest sports conspiracies of all time. The story goes that Kevin Costner and his wife were staying at Ripkens house in 1997 during a film shoot. Kevin comes home from the shoot and finds Cal in bed with his wife. A melee ensues and Ripken is hurt in the scuffle. Too hurt to play, the Orioles concoct a lighting problem at Camden Yards to postpone that night's game, thus preserving The Streak. Probably bullshit, but the story itself is shameful...
• Is the career leader for Grounding into Double Plays

Nolan Ryan

• Missed a start after being bitten on the hand by a coyote. And no it wasn't Peter Coyote of The Legend of Billie Jean fame...

Ryne Sandberg

• His ex-wife is rumored to have slept with former teammates Rafael Palmerio and Dave Martinez while they were married. That makes for an awkward clubhouse...

Mike Schmidt

• Once reported for morning exercises during spring training in 1977 with his pants down at his knees.

Ozzie Smith

• Among nonpitchers who started their careers after 1920, only Lloyd "Little Poison" Waner had fewer career homers (27) than Smith (29) and reached the Hall of Fame as a player.
• Was fined and suspended in 1988 after starting a brawl by rabbit punching fellow RBIer Will Clark after Clark slid in hard into second base to break up a double play.

Don Sutton

• Was ejected from a game and suspended for 10 games for defacing the ball in 1978. After threatening legal action against the National League, Suttons suspension was dropped

Don Mattingly’s Son Accused of Spitting in Woody Paige's Face

Newsday: Mattingly’s son accused of spitting in mom’s face

Oh wait. That's his mother, not Woody Paige.

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Pope Goes 8 Innings in Win

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Jim Breuer Puts Being a Mets Fan into Perspective

Audio from the comedian's appearance on this morning's Preston & Steve Show (WMMR, Philadelphia): "They suck. It's like being in love with an alcoholic."

Photo: Christina Santucci

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I Dunked on 'Bron

Visit the shop here.

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Reggie Lewis' Widow (Sorta) Defends Accused Racist Officer Fingered by Obama

At the end of his listless press conference on health care/insurance reform last night, President Obama took time to address a recent incident in which an African-American Harvard professor was arrested for breaking into his own home (he was locked out and "jimmied" his way in; a burglary report was called in).

"I don’t know – not having been there and not seeing all the facts – what role race played in that, but I think it’s fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two that he Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home... "Separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African-American and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately. "That’s just a fact. That doesn't lessen the incredible progress that has been made."

As Obama and the arrestee fan the racial flames here - Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. apparently cried, "This is what happens to black men in America!” - police report tells a different story (The Boston Globe had a link to the pdf posted, but has since removed it, but a copied account can be found here).

Sgt. James Crowley flatly refuses to apologize for any alleged racism on his part, “I just have nothing to apologize for. It will never happen.”

According to the Globe, "it was not the first time he had a memorable encounter in the line of duty with a prominent black man. Nearly 16 years ago, as a Brandeis University police officer, Crowley desperately tried to save the life of Reggie Lewis after the Boston Celtics star collapsed while practicing in the school gym."

Crowley was a certified emergency medical technician when he performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation on Lewis, to no avail, after the player’s heart stopped on July 27, 1993. In a Globe interview later that day, Crowley said he rushed to the university’s Shapiro Gymnasium, confirmed that Lewis had no pulse, and frantically tried to revive him.

“I just kept on going,’’ he said. “I just kept thinking, ‘Don’t let him die - just don’t die.’’’

Coming to the Sergeant's defense is the late Celtic's widow. From the Boston Herald:

Yesterday, Lewis’ widow, Donna Lewis, was floored to learn the embattled father of three on the thin blue line of a national debate on racism in America was the same man so determined to rescue her husband.

“That’s incredible,” Lewis, 44, exclaimed. “It’s an unfortunate situation. Hopefully, it can resolve itself. The most important thing is peace.”

Perhaps the real issue is that Obama, the noted basketball nut, begrudges Crowley for not doing enough to rescue the superstar back in 1993:

...he [Crowley] still recalls the pain he suffered when people back then questioned whether he had done enough to save the black athlete.

“Some people were saying ‘There’s the guy who killed Reggie Lewis’ afterward. I was broken-hearted. I cried for many nights,” he said.

Who knows.

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What was your worst gaming experience?

I had a bad gaming experience in high school.

I was playing a game, can't quite remember which, but I know it was tough and I didn't move my ass for an entire weekend. Not being a bright bulb I mistakenly hooked up the system to the bottom wall outlet. The same outlet connected to the light switch. My dad came in late night to do a 'what the french bread are you still doing up' check and flipped the switch.

I hadn't saved in a few hours. Gone. I think I shit a screen door. Never seriously gamed again. I do get the appeal though. Especially when you can play against other people online you've never met. Well, you need the right equipment for that, am I right?

To celebrate the new Mountain Dew World of Warcraft Game Fuel flavors (both are rather delicious), the Dew is giving away a butt load of prizes like laptops, keyboards, gaming gear and the kitchen sink every 15 minutes. Click that link, you wont be sorry.

What is HHR giving away? How about the Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset ? Big turds, I know!

It's a circumaural gaming audio headset designed for extended hours of gameplay with superior gaming audio, clarity and bass. The Razer Carcharias is a complete and comfortable gaming communications package that gamers can wear for hours on end. Naked or clothed. I'll even throw in a gaming notebook to keep track of your progress and to mark the number of chicks you schtupped in the past month. Do you write that out as ZERO or 0?

Here is the deal on how to win.

1.) Click here to subscribe to HHR. Painless.

2.) Come back to the comment section and tell us about your worst video game experience. It can be about anything. Shock us. Make us laugh. Make us cry. Tickle our nips with your thumb and first finger. Hehehe. Stop! In the “email (will not be published)” field, enter the same e-mail address of your subscription, so we know who the hell you are and that you aren't cheating.

3.) We'll pick the best story, publish it in it's own blog (big time bitches!) and you win the headset.

Deadline for comments is Sunday, July 26th at 11:59 p.m.

Get cracking.

Chris Illuminati is a part time HHR contributor and a full time idiot. Click here to check out his blog.

Wooooooo! Chad Ochocinco Resurects the 4 Horsemen

While it may be the worst version of the famed wrestling faction ever assembled (this side of Romeo Paul Roma and Mongo McMichael), props to #85 for taking the initiative to reform the classic heel stable.

The trio become the first 3 black Horsemen ever. Unconfirmed sources indicate that the members will be initiated in by taking Arn Anderson gordbusters for a 4 minute period.


Carson Palmer was slated to round out the group, but allegedly declined in order to form a tag team with TJ Houshmandzadeh, infuriating Ochocinco.

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Good Grief! TO Channels His Inner Charles Schulz

On the series premier of VH1's The T.O. Show, a frustrated Owens re-depicted (on a bed sheet) for bodyguard and confidant Pablo the alleged diagram that Cowboy's owner Jerry Jones outlined in the meeting in which the wide receiver was told of his release from the team.


We grabbed a still shot of said diagram:

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Rick Reilly Should Leave Top 10 Lists to Bloggers

Rick Reilly for ESPN the Magazine put together what he calls his "must-see" sporting events to see live, proving (again) he still doesn't know sh*t from shinola.



Rick Riley: The 10 best sporting events to see live
Commentary courtesy of Assassin Ave.

10. Home Run Derby NOT EVEN A REAL FUCKING GAME!

9. Iditarod -- WHAT?!! IT'S F*CKING COLD AND YOU CAN'T SEE ANY OF THE ACTION!

8. Ryder Cup -- GOLF KINDA SUCKS LIVES. AGAIN, YOU CAN'T SEE ANY OF THE ACTION AND AT BIG EVENTS YOU CAN'T MOVE AROUND CUZ THE CROWDS ARE SO BIG!

7. Yankees vs. Red Sox at Fenway - AGREED

6. America's Cup -- UMM, SURE

5. Tour de France -- BEYOND DRESSING UP IN A DEVIL CUSTOM AND CHASING PEOPLE, I DON'T SEE THE APPEAL.

4. North Carolina vs. Duke at Cameron Indoor Stadium - AGREED.

3. Wimbledon -- ONLY TO CHECK OUT THE CHICKS.

2. Kentucky Derby -- HST OWNS THIS ONE.

1. Masters -- AGAIN, GOLF IS RIDICULOUS LIVE.

Not a single football game? Come on, the big college rivalries are the best thing to see in sports. Talk about pumped up crowds.

Thanks for nothing, Rick.

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Padres Ruining Season, Local Businesses

This sign is outside of my neighborhood bar on D St. in Encinitas, CA. Sure, it's sunny all the time here, but I didn't realize I was going to start getting free drinks in a matter of weeks.

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Blogs with Balls 1.0: The Highlight Reel

Kyle Bunch: It’s officially been over a month since Blogs with Balls 1.0 went down at Stout in New York City. Seeing as details about Blogs with Balls 2.0 in Vegas are starting to trickle out, now seemed like as good of time as any to bust out the highlight reel from 1.0. Enjoy:

Blogs With Balls 1.0 Highlights from BLOGS WITH BALLS on Vimeo.

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AAU Player of the Year Isiah Jones Hits the ESPY Red Carpet

Isiah Jones, the AAU basketball player of the year, representing our friends at the Global Sports Fraternity, did a phenomenal as an all-access guide to the 2009 ESPYs Red Carpet.

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Shawne "Hitch" Merriman

Shawne Merriman plays matchmaker during a Sunday Conversation with ESPN's Ben Schwartz.

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CR Dunbar: NASCAR, Government Partnership Creates Jobs

The U.S. House of Representatives today passed a bill that would transfer 115 acres of government land to the Nevada Speedway Company for expansion of the Las Vegas Speedway parking lot.

Some may see this as pandering to NASCAR dads. I see it as the government finally recognizing the importance of NASCAR tailgating to economic growth. It is not economic theory, it is economic fact that the more fringed jean shorts, the more jobs created.

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Who Did Sammy Sosa Kiss?

A couple of years ago, an Oklahoma state representative was arrested on a DUI complaint. According to the arresting officer, Rep. John Trebilcock smelled like alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and refused a breathalyzer test. Yet Trebilcock had a sure-fire alibi: he had kissed a girl who had been drinking, and that's why he smelled like alcohol.

Usually it's the other way around. High BAC,THEN kiss and do things that will show up on textsfromlastnight.com.

Trebilcock later changed his plea to no contest and his claim made great comic fodder in the Sooner State for a few days. But maybe we shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the representative's unique legal strategy because, from the wonderful world of tennis, we have the first successful use of the "I Kissed a Girl" defense.

Tennis player Richard Gasquet was recently cleared of drug use charges by the International Tennis Federation, which accepted his claim which accepted his claim that a positive test for cocaine was due to kissing a woman he'd just met. The ITF's tribunal found that the amount of cocaine in his system was so small that his excuse actually held water. It's only a matter of time before Katy Perry is subpoenaed in the Balco case.

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HHR EXCLUSIVE: From The D.C. Bureau: Bob Costas Didn’t Think Judge Sotomayor Was An All Star

Okay, we’ve heard enough sports metaphors and talk about how Judge Sonia Sotomayor “saved baseball” by Senators who probably throw a lot like Mariah Carey.

So, we feel it necessary to bring up some much needed sport’s precedent...in the form of an opinion by baseball’s Chief Justice, Bob Costas.

Apparently the Queens, NY native didn’t think much of his fellow New Yorker, Sonia Sotomayor, during her time on the bench. In the 2002 video below, Costas gives an impassioned dissent regarding Sotomayor’s ruling on the baseball strike. “Saved baseball?” Not so much according to Costas…



We’ll wait and see if Republicans call Costas out of the 'pen to battle the Democrats' witness David Cone later in the week.

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Saw VI: The Bernie Kosar Story

As documented in yesterday's Miami Herald, Bernie Kosar has had a rough fall from grace. There is no excuse, ex-superstar or not, to not know how to perform even the most mundane tasks:

He just learned the other day, after much trying and failing, how to make his own coffee. This is a man who owned his own jet and helped found companies, plural. But when his new girlfriend came over recently and found him trying to cook with his daughters, she couldn't believe what was on the kitchen island to cut the French bread. A saw.

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Sports Metaphors During the Sotomayor Hearings

Courtesy of Politico...



Sen. Dianne Feinstein: "So I do not believe that Supreme Court justices are merely umpires calling balls and strikes. Rather, I believe that they make the decisions of individuals who bring to the court their own experiences and philosophies."

Sen. Charles Schumer: Some question whether John Roberts "actually called pitches as they came or tried to change the rules." Sotomayor, said Schumer, “has simply called balls and strikes for 17 years far more closely than Chief Justice Roberts has during his four years on the Supreme Court.”

Sen. Jeff Sessions: A judge who uses ideology to determine cases "means that the umpire calling the game is not neutral, but instead feels empowered to favor one team over the other."

Sen. John Cornyn: "To borrow a football analogy, a lower court judge is like the quarterback who executes the plays — not the coach who calls the plays."

Sen. Russ Feingold: Great decisions are "not simply the result of an umpire calling balls and strikes."

Sen. Dick Durbin: "It's a little hard to see home plate from right field."

Sen. Tom Coburn: “We expect a judge to merely call balls and strikes — maybe so, maybe not. But we certainly don’t expect them to sympathize with one side over another.”

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The Cynic's Confessions of an E-6 Mind: Life as a Washington Nationals Fan

Much to no one’s surprise, the Washington Nationals (26-61) recently announced that they have fired manager Manny Acta. While reaction is mixed (some say it was overdue, I think it’s a little like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic), it’s just the latest in the epic fail that is the 2009 Washington Nationals. So with the All Star break here and the season mercifully on the downhill slide, I thought I might provide some commentary from a Nationals fan.

First of all, pleased to meet you. Unless you live inside the 495 Beltway, there’s a very good chance that this is the first time you’ve ever met (or seen anything written from the point of view of) a Nats fan.. Even inside the 202 area code, true fans are hard to find. The problem (other than the team being lousy) is that very few people are actually from Washington, DC. If you go to a party or meet someone at a bar in DC, the first question you ask is, “So where are you from?” DC is a very transient city, with people (mostly government workers and contractors) coming to the city from other places. And they bring along their own team allegiances. While they may enjoy a night out at a Nationals ball game, they still classify themselves as Yankees or Braves or Dodgers etc. fans. The number of true know-the-lineup-and-follow-the-box-scores-every-day-even-though-you-already-know-they-lost Nationals fans (such as myself) is
very, very few.

The Nats bandwagon. Plenty of good seats still available.

To understand my fascination with the Nats, it might help to know a little about my baseball history. I grew up a huge Oakland A’s fan. I didn’t have any connection to the A’s per se. But my dad had grown up as a Kansas City A’s fan (to this day, he still hates the Yankees from when the days when the A’s and Yankees owners conspired to send all of KC’s good players to the Big Apple) and it just kind of rubbed off on me. But I definitely went all the way with it—my room was covered wall-to-wall with A’s paraphernalia. Canseco, McGwire, Rickey Henderson, you name it. I had a poster of Carney Lansford up next to my Bash Brothers poster, for Pete’s sake. If a west coast A’s game was on TV, there was a really good chance I was going to fall asleep at some point in school the next morning.

Yeah, this guy.

Then came they day when the A’s traded Jose Canseco to the Texas Rangers. And suddenly, I just stopped caring. I wouldn’t say it was entirely the Canseco trade that did it. The team with which I had grown up and had won three straight AL pennants (1988-1990) was slowly being dismantled. And about the same time, school got busy and I got into jobs, cars and girls (not necessarily in that order). But losing Canseco, the sports idol of my youth, was the final straw and baseball as a whole just kind of faded away for me for several years.

Admittedly, I might not be the best judge of character.

Fast forward to 2002. I was living in Washington, DC when the Montreal Expos collapse became complete and the team was bought by MLB.. Almost immediately, the rumors started flying that Washington, DC was a frontrunner for the team and, although it took another couple of years, Washington baseball became official in September 2004. And I lined up to drink the Kool-Aid.

Prior to my time in DC, I’d never lived in a big-league city. I grew up in Colorado and maintained my Broncos loyalty, so the Redskins didn’t do anything for me. And, while I like hockey and basketball well enough, I wasn’t a big enough fan to jump on the Capitals or Wizards bandwagons. But when the Nationals came to town, I finally felt like I had MY baseball team and I cared about baseball again.. Which brings us to 2009, when the loyalties of even the most die-hard fans have been tested.

This season has been one debacle after the other:

• The GM fired amid a Latin American kickback scandal.
• A top prospect, given a $1.4 million signing bonus, found to have lied about his age . . . and his name.
• The players taking the field with misspelled jerseys..
• The Rockies pitcher getting a win over the Nats without ever throwing a pitch.
• A TV market share that increases 56%--and is still less than half of all but one other team in the majors.
• The TV color
  guy has another team’s player’s name and number tattooed on his ass.
• When the Nats finally get a win, the winning pitcher is playing for another team.

If you’d submitted this as a script for a “Bad News Bears” sequel, it would have been laughed out of Hollywood for not being believable. Things have gotten so bad, the Nats are even being mocked by The Onion.

I hear the Nats are looking for a new manager.

So is this the worst team ever, as some bloggers and MSM writers have asked? I don’t think so. Contrary to popular belief, this team is not devoid of talent. Ronnie Belliard, Cristian Guzman and Ryan Zimmerman are all former or current All-Stars. Four starters (Zimmerman, Guzman, 1B Nick Johnson and OF Josh Willingham) are hitting ..288 or better. OF Adam Dunn just became the fifth-fastest player in history to reach 300 home runs. While no one is likely to confuse the Nationals’ lineup with Murderer’s Row, there are worse offenses out there.

The same could be said of starting pitching. The Nationals current starting five is a combined 13-23. Admittedly not great, but far better than the bullpen and spot starters (here’s where it gets really ugly) who are on the hook for a combined record of 13-38. Even worse, they find ways to blow it at the worst possible times.

23 times this season the Nationals have been tied or had a lead going into the last two innings, only to see the bullpen blow it. Think about that—in more than a quarter of the team’s games this season, Nats fans are sitting there, thinking our team has a chance to pull one out, only to see the bullpen choke another one away. I don’t think the 2009 Nationals are the worst team ever, but I would certainly nominate this bunch for the worst bullpen in history.

“Now pitching for the Nationals . . .”

As for me and all 6,743 of my fellow die-hard Nationals fans, we’re keeping the faith (bless us, oh almighty Stephen Strasburg). We came into this season knowing the Nationals would probably lose. A lot. They’re on a pace to have 114 losses, and they may challenge the 1962 Mets record of 120. We just wish they’d stop finding creative and increasingly painful ways to do it.

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Knicks Pick Up Another NBA Lottery Bust

As if taking on Darko Milicic--the classic trivia answer to who was the worst player ever to be mentioned in the same sentence as Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony--wasn't enough, the New York Knicks have put one of the ultimate busts on their NBA Summer League roster.

Take a good look at the Knicks roster that will be suiting up for five games in Las Vegas starting today. That's right, at the bottom it's Nikoloz Tskitishvili, the fifth overall pick from the 2002 NBA Draft. NT for short, has been with four NBA teams and a host of international clubs since his draft and has been dubbed by many as one of the worst lottery picks ever. If not for his ridiculously hard name to pronounce he may have fallen from all memory. Alas, seven footers will always be a commodity in the NBA and so NT has a home at least for the summer.


As for the rest of the roster it includes the two new draft picks in Jordan Hill and Toney Douglas, but the rest is a mishmash of guys that technically played in college but that we haven't heard from in a while. David Noel from UNC could be fun to watch and Morris Almond from Rice was fun to watch in college. However, with seemingly every other team in the league boasting exciting young players and draft picks to trot out, the Knicks hang their hopes on Hill and Douglas. I know the games don't mean much, but after Jason Kidd and Grant Hill used the Knicks just to get better contracts from their own teams, it's tough to find positives for the 'Bockers these days.

One can only hope Danilo Gallinari isn't too far off from returning after back issues sidelined most of his true rookie season. If you're curious, it looks most of the games will air at some point on MSG. The Knicks start today with Memphis before meeting Detroit, Sacramento, Chicago and Washington.

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The Real Rock-N-Wrestling Connection

Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan are widely credited for mainstreaming professional wrestling by taking the "sport" national and away from regional promotions generally associated with the National Wrestling Alliance.

A major factor in bringing the form of entertainment to the masses was by associating its promotions and events with popular celebrities of the era. This was never as evident as the early-80's WWF "Rock N' Wrestling" connection that was prompted by the appearance of manager (and Mario Mario portray-er) Captain Lou Albano in the iconic rocker Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun video.


Lauper went on to feud with her cynematic step-father by partnering up in the Fed as Wendi Richter's manager (with Albano siding up with octogenarian heel extroidinaire the Fabulous Moolah). Promotional wiz McMahon ran with it, and soon he was rolling out 80's-era celebs at the first Wrestlmania in 1985, featuring WWF personalities in 3 other Lauper videos and animating his already cartoonish athletes into "Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling" series.

Truth be told, the WWF was as un-Rock N' Roll as it was the antithesis of professional wrestling itself.

Legendary grapplers, many of whom VKM would later scoop up into his own promotion, were getting into blood fests and fist fights that would make any self-respecting real rocker blush, all the while taking their cues from not only 70's super groups, but also Southern rock legends and hair metal glam rockers.

It's easy to point to this influence with the obvious types, including the Midnight Rockers and the Rock N' Roll Express.


Another obvious influence was due to the fact that unlike the WWF, they were smaller, regional promotions and not widely televised. Wrestlers in the NWA and other territories were able to use well-known licensed songs as their entrance themes. Most remember the intimidating Road Warriors coming to the ring with Black Sabbath's Iron Man blaring.

A more recent example is the now-WWF owned, once Philly-based Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) whose superstars throughout the mid-to-late 90's came out to just about every well-known metal song ever written. Eventually, ECW signed a national deal and had to opt for original tunes. (A great list of ECW themes can be found here.)

While Vince and Hulk and the WWF take credit for the Rock-N-Wrestling connection, there were a great number of non-WWF wrestlers who took their images, names and gimmicks directly from real rock and roll royalty - and did it much more convincingly.

Below are our favorites.

Bad Company, I can't deny. Bad, Bad company, Till the day I die

Tag Team: Bad Company (AWA): Pat Tanaka & Paul Diamond (Manager Diamond Dallas Page)
Inspiration: Bad Company

Are you worried what your friends see?
Will it ruin your reputation lovin me 'cause Im a dirty white boy?

Wrestler: Dirty White Boy (USWA, Smokey Mountain)
Inspiration: Dirty White Boy (Foreigner)

Are you tough enough to still remember me?

Tag Team: The Fabulous Freebirds: Michael PS Hayes, Terry Bam Bam Gordy, Buddy Roberts, Jimmy Garvin (AWA, NWA, UWF, WCCW)
Inspiration: Freebird (Lynyrd Skynyrd); The Fabulous Thunderbirds

Young wrestler, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy

Wrestler: Sting (UWF, NWA, WCW)
Inspiration: Sting

I've got to run to keep from hiding.

Wrestler: Midnight Rider (NWA): After Dusty Rhodes was suspended by the NWA, the masked Midnight Rider burst on the scene to feud with Ric Flair, fooling no one.
Inspiration: Midnight Rider (Allman Brothers Band)

Boogie Woogie Man from Tennessee, yeah baby.

Wrestler: Jimmy "Boogie Woogie Man" Valiant (NWA)
Inspiration: The Boogie Woogie Man (Albert Ammons); Boogie Woogie Country Man (Jerry Lee Lewis)


Finally, we'd not be doing our readers any justice if we didn't mention some of these later-year non-WWF Rock N' Rock ripoffs.

The Boy Band Legacy

Tag Team: 3 Count (WCW)
Inpiration: NKOTB, 'N Sync, Backstreet Boys

He'd be no worse a lead singer for the band than Gary Cherone

Wrestler: "Heavy Metal" Van Hammer (WCW)
Inspiration: Van Halen

Race & Culture Wars

Stables: No Limit Soldiers: Master P, BA, Chase Tatum, Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Jr., Swoll, 4x4; The West Texas Rednecks: Curt Henning, Bobby Duncum, Jr., Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, Curly Bill (WCW)
Inspiration: Master P

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