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Saturday, October 31, 2009
Separated at Birth: Pettite the Platypus
The Yankee's Game 3 starter bears a striking resemblance to Phineas and Ferb's pet platypus, Perry.
The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Tailgating Epidemic in Waco
Overheard from the tailgater behind me as she passed out plastic shot glasses: "We used to just drink straight out of the bottle, but with this damn H1N1 . . ."
Now that's a pandemic.
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Friday, October 30, 2009
Esquire: Why Is Pedro Martinez Smiling?
Monika Graff/UPI via Newscom"However, the wry smile he cracked in the face of substantial booing from the crowd at Steinbrenner's House of Fiscal Excess was worth every moment of the six solid innings that he pitched. That smile was a coda. Someone should have talked about it more."
Full Article
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Blazer-Wearing Southpaw Bids Pedro Adieu
Glad I wasn't the only one who found humor in this last night.
JoeSportsFan: Grown New York Men with Baseball Gloves Prevail
JoeSportsFan: Grown New York Men with Baseball Gloves Prevail
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MLB on Fox's Pedro Coverage Mild Compared to That of NY Papers
Following Twitter last night, Yankee fans were livid about the broadcast's Pedro coverage. One must wonder how they feel about the local press'.
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
Beetlejuice: Sports Psychologist
Well, we are sold. This is Beetle starts tonight on Howard TV
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Rep. Calls out Goodell on Limbaugh Hypocrisy, Blasts "Offensive" Dolphins Owners Fergie & JLo
Transcript from Rep. Steve King (R-IA) during yesterday's House Judiciary Committee hearing on Capitol Hill:
Limbaugh's reaction: "Of course, Goodell's a total weasel. He had no answer about the Dolphins' owners so wouldn't even address the question, and he got on his high horse about how McNabb is a fine player and a fine person and it has nothing to do with the color of his skin, when I (a) never said he was not a fine person; (b) never said he was a bad QB -- just that he was overrated (which no one should deny); and (c) said the MEDIA was obsessed with the color of his skin (which is also undeniable), not that I was."
"Your position on owners have the right image, and I would direct it to your statement on the 13th of October where you said, 'I think it's divisive comments, or they are not what the NFL is all about. I would not want to see those kinds of comments from people who are in responsible positions within the NFL, no, absolutely not.' Now, I take you as a man of your word. But I would point out that you have a couple of owners that have performed lyrics in songs that are far more offensive. In fact, I don't think anything that Rush Limbaugh said was offensive, but with Fergie and with J. Lo, they have, between the two of them, alleged that the CIA are terrorists and liars, they've promoted sexual abuse of women, they've used the N-word, verbal pornography, recreational drug use, et cetera, and they are owners of the Dolphins.
And it is also ironic that Fergie was approved as an owner on the very day that you made your statement against Rush Limbaugh. And I would point out for the committee, the statement that Rush Limbaugh made is this -- that seems to be the one that survives the criticism, and that is: "I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They're interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well. McNabb got a lot of credit for the performance of the team that he really didn't deserve," close quote."
Limbaugh's reaction: "Of course, Goodell's a total weasel. He had no answer about the Dolphins' owners so wouldn't even address the question, and he got on his high horse about how McNabb is a fine player and a fine person and it has nothing to do with the color of his skin, when I (a) never said he was not a fine person; (b) never said he was a bad QB -- just that he was overrated (which no one should deny); and (c) said the MEDIA was obsessed with the color of his skin (which is also undeniable), not that I was."
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TheFightins.com: “The Yankees don’t have sh*t on us,” proclaims drunk Phils fan
I have a feeling Meech is going to have plenty of opportunity to grab video like this during the Series.
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Fashion Icon Michelle Obama Makes Pitch for Mom Jeans, Garden Gnomes
Trend-setting First Lady of Fashion Michelle Obama used the bright lights of the Big City in Game 1 of the World Series to promote what could be Autumn's hottest new apparel - mom jeans with a garden gnome hand bag.
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Separated At Birth: Somewhere Out There...
...Jorge looks like a cartoon mouse.
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Annie Duke Talks BwB Charity Shootout & Ante Up For Africa with Dan Levy
From On the DL Podcast:
What started out as an idea to have a bunch of people from Blogs with Balls and Blog World network over the felt, turned into one of the best charity events any of us could have imagined.
Annie Duke was gracious enough to let a bunch of bloggers use her name to promote a poker game we decided to run in Vegas -- and of course, turn the event into the Blogs with Balls Charity Poker Shootout where we raised $10,000 for Ante Up for Africa.
Dan catches up with Annie to recap and promote the event and charity, and talk politics and poker On the DL.
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Dok Harris Loved Cardboard Swords & 12-Sided Dice
As mentioned previously on HHR, Franco's son is running for mayor of Pittsburgh.
What we hadn't reported was this nugget from the Post-Gazette:
Stephen Lunch would be proud.
What we hadn't reported was this nugget from the Post-Gazette:
Mr. Harris suffered his knee injury during college, while running through the woods during a live-action battle sponsored by NERO, the New England Roleplaying Organization. He had been into the medieval fantasy games since he was 16 and read about them in a magazine for Dungeons & Dragons fans.
Stephen Lunch would be proud.
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Cadillac Mescallade: NBA Preview, 30 Dishes & Wishes (Part II)
The 2009-2010 NBA Season is upon us and this is an exciting time. What will the Knicks do to make NYC more attractive for LeBron? How many points will Vince Carter average now that he’s been traded again? When will Dan Dickau retire? These are all questions that may be answered this season. In honor of my vocabulary sensei Walt "Clyde" Frazier, I present 30 “dishes and wishes” on this NBA Season. There is no rhyme or reason to the order of these teams, I leave that to other previews. That said I think the Magic are looking strong this year. Now on to it.
Yesterday: Cadillac Mescallade: NBA Preview, 30 Dishes & Wishes (Part I)
16. Washington Wizards
Dish: Let’s welcome back Gilbert Arenas from a pesky injury that took the gusto out of Agent Zero. Nothing new here in that Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison have filled the void nicely in his absence but still the Wiz have struggled. If Arenas can be even half himself this could be a pretty ridiculous offensive team. JaVale McGee is exciting to watch, he is a rare seven footer that gives you the idea he is still jumping pretty high, kind of like Dwight Howard. Let’s not forget Flip Saunders as the new coach, he tends to make squads pretty good.
Wish: First, more use of the Bullets jerseys. I get why they were ditched because wizards don’t kill people, bullets kill people. Point taken, now bring them on back. Also it’s time to retire Manute Bol’s uniform. Perhaps this should fall on the Warriors where “Nootie” had some of his top seasons but we can all remember the bol-tender in those daisy duke Bullets shorts. So lets pick a game that doesn’t mean much and hoist the old #10 high into the sky.
Dish: Not since the days of Nique, Kevin “elbow pads” Willis, Jon Koncak, Mookie Blaylock, Craig Ehlo, and Ennis Whatley have the Atlanta Hawks been this relevant. Mike Bibby has had a wonderful resurgence on this team and I could see him putting up another five years plus in the league at this current rate of production. The question is does the rest of the group along with Josh Smith, Joe Johnson, Horford and the rest have enough to get past the Magic, Cavs, Celtics and whoever else. I think yes, just not this year.
Wish:Atlanta Orlando
27.Detroit
Dish: The Pistons had some cash and the had to spend it, and they did. Welcome Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva brings his tweeting ways to Mo-Town while Gordon is a great motor guy (I’m low on adjectives). The question is, much like in the late 90s when the Knicks signed Allan Houston and Chris Childs, will these men make the big difference. I feel the answer is no and that must be frustrating. The Pistons take the steps to clear the cap space and then don’t get great value for their dollar. Stuckey and Hamilton are great building blocks along with this group and the Pistons will be in the playoff mix but that is about it.
Wish: The Pistons arena announcer gets his own reality show where he works at a fast food drive thru using that same voice. I believe his name is Mason, put him in the window at an Arby’s and just let the cameras roll. His enthusiasm would increase sales 200 percent and then there would be something to put on NBA TV at 2am instead of a fantasy show.
28.Philadelphia
Dish: It’s time for Elton Brand to start earning that new contract. Some feel it might be karma for spurning the Clippers as an explanation as for why he has yet to get on track in Philly. I think he probably just got unlucky and was hurt. Igoudala is a great running mate for Brand and provided they are both healthy this team should definitely be in the mix come playoff time. They might also get something from Jrue don’t call me Drew Holiday, out of UCLA.
Wish: The Sixers play half of their games on the boardwalk inAtlantic City Philadelphia and or Pennsylvania
29.Orlando
Dish: This team more or less traded Turk-o-lew (third mention) for Vince Carter and it could make them very strong. Everybody knows that when Vince Carter gets traded it’s like he’s been rejuvenated. You ever been outside in 100 degree weather and than walk into an air conditioned room that is so cold but you feel so good. That’s how Vince feels when he gets traded, he feels so good, and he’s going to show everyone how good he feels. Also Howard, a healthy Nelson, and Lewis make a for a great unity. Finally is anyone as excited as me that Jason Williams is back in the NBA. No not the guy from Duke, and no not the guy from the Nets, the other one, the flashy point guard formerly of the Kings. This guy was so much fun to watch so I really hope he can find a place on this team. With the trade of Courtney Lee to the Nets, hopefully that back up point guard spot is up for grabs and J-Will can be all over it.
Wish: I was flipping around the tv the other day and saw this jam by Vince. He drove baseline pumped and threw it down with ease and it led me to think, he needs to go back to the dunk contest. I know, I know he can never top what he did in Oakland but while he’s in a good mood and still with some gas in the tank lets let him tear away along with Birdman, Gerald Henderson and five other to be named dunkers. This will never happen but we can always dream.
30.Boston
Dish: “The Big Ticket” Kevin Garnett is back in action after a year hurt by injuries. Add him to the other members of the big three in Ray Allen and Paul Pierce and you have the key guys from the NBA title of two years back. Now add in the “Big Variable” in Rasheed Wallace and this can really make things interesting. Wallace is the type of guy that could have had a couple of MVP trophies under his belt if he was so inclined but never decided to use that talent that way. He has instead made use of lambasting officials and giving out amazing quotes. Still he joins pretty much a read made meal here in the Celtics and there is no reason why this veteran group can’t march their way to the Finals.
Wish: Rajon Rondo gets a solid jump shot. Rondo’s development has been amazing, he has become a nice leader, a fearless driver, and a nifty passer. However his jumper is still severely suspect by NBA standards and everyone knows it. Not sure if he’s done some serious work on it in the offseason, god knows he hit the weight room, but as of last year teams would still play off him and almost dare him to shoot. That’s a livable situation for a starting center, but not for your starting point guard. It’ll be curious to see also how he responds to being moderately shopped this summer. Regardless he needs to hone that jumper.
Let the season begin!
Yesterday: Cadillac Mescallade: NBA Preview, 30 Dishes & Wishes (Part I)
16. Washington Wizards
Dish: Let’s welcome back Gilbert Arenas from a pesky injury that took the gusto out of Agent Zero. Nothing new here in that Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison have filled the void nicely in his absence but still the Wiz have struggled. If Arenas can be even half himself this could be a pretty ridiculous offensive team. JaVale McGee is exciting to watch, he is a rare seven footer that gives you the idea he is still jumping pretty high, kind of like Dwight Howard. Let’s not forget Flip Saunders as the new coach, he tends to make squads pretty good.
Wish: First, more use of the Bullets jerseys. I get why they were ditched because wizards don’t kill people, bullets kill people. Point taken, now bring them on back. Also it’s time to retire Manute Bol’s uniform. Perhaps this should fall on the Warriors where “Nootie” had some of his top seasons but we can all remember the bol-tender in those daisy duke Bullets shorts. So lets pick a game that doesn’t mean much and hoist the old #10 high into the sky.
17.
Dish: Knicks fans take small solace in the fact that while they have struggled so have the Pacers. Annually vying for most white guys per capita on their roster, they have turned the trick again this year with a bevy of talented Caucasians. We all look forward to a line up featuring Travis Hansbrough, Jeff Foster, Mike Dunleavy, Josh McRoberts, and Travis Diener. The Pacers may have the most notable names squad for college hoops fans. Outside of maybe Foster I’d say every name on this team is known decently well from their college days. Oh excuse me on Solomon Jones, so there is two people.
Wish: I have a wish for all
18.
Dish: Just when you thought they were done, they continue to live on and do it well. Quite an amazing retooling in the offseason that saw the Spurs add Richard Jefferson and Antonio McDyess while also grabbing DeJuan Blair via last springs draft. Oh yeah and they still have Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and a potentially fully healthy Manu Ginobili. They could be the team to beat coming out of the West.
Wish: DeJuan Blair and Hasheem Thabeet meet up again in the pros and get to mix it up. Few things were more enjoyable last college season than watching Blair toss Thabeet around like a child’s toy. Hasheem landed with
19.
Dish: As just mentioned Thabeet was the top draft pick but the big chatter was the addition of Allen Iverson. It seems as if Iverson landing in
Wish: AI just blows up this season and reverts back to All-Star form. There are enough doubters to fill a fleet of cruise ships so a success for Iverson will be debatable. Is it getting the Griz near the playoffs or just Iverson playing well again? Obviously Iverson is looking to boost himself and command some better cash down the line as his career winds down. He finds himself in a bit of a Shaq role, a guy who is used to being the big dog but now has to play nice with everyone else in the sandbox. To be continued.
20.
Dish: The names look solid here with J-Kidd, Dirk, and Jason Terry. Now add in some Shawn Marion spice and this has the potential of a very fun team. Say what you want about Kidd losing a step on the defensive end, I’d still rather have him quarterbacking my team over many others. On a long enough timeline it’s not what you do but sometimes what you know and this guy knows how to run a break and get people involved. Dirk is good to fill it up and Terry will bomb from deep. Will Kidd and Marion reincarnate some of the old Suns fast breaks where
Wish: You could collect a bunch of jerseys through Mitchell and
21.
Dish: So you look at the Kings and the question is, who is their best player? It’s probably Kevin Martin and while I am thrilled Martin has worked himself into a position where he can be the best player on an NBA team, this is just not a good sign for an NBA franchise. The Kings have some nice pieces but will likely need some serious overachieving from a host of guys to be competitive and that is not a situation you ever want to be in.
Wish: Of course the
22. Portland Trail Blazers
Dish: The Blazers are like this guy at a party who was eying this one girl all night. It appeared that the deal was sealed then right as everything was winding down some clown stumbled in who the girl just was totally smitten by and swooped the girl away. The original guy was bummed but he has his heart set on some action so he was making something happen no matter what. This describes how Andre Miller landed in
Wish: Greg Oden gets it going. By all accounts and commercials this guy is a really nice person and just seems to be a modern day Bill Walton, betrayed by his own body. Perhaps was too much hype placed on him because he has had a beard since seventh grade. Hey, it happens. But now has he heads towards his redshirt sophomore year in the NBA it is time for him to get it going and I hope he does. I don’t want the world, just double figure points and rebounds and some blocked shots, I think that is fair.
23.
Dish: A super young team on the rise they have taken the approach of the youth movement just stockpiling an under 25 crowd that will hopefully put them in the mix in a few years. Durant speaks for himself and I’m a Jeff Green fan. I also like the pick up James Harden, he is that type of guy that always seems to be not going all that fast and then before you know it he has scored on you. FYI – I found Shaun Livingston and he is on the Thunder. This team is just going to sniff eighth place for a little while until the rest of this group can develop. I could see them at some point in the next couple of years getting close and then adding a veteran to help the young group over the top.
Wish: Hopeful that Durant doesn’t get bummed with the losing years with the Thunder and hangs in there for what could be a bright future. He’ll get a chance to leave some point but it looks like they are doing things in a smart fashion in Oklahoma City and hopefully they can keep adding pieces. Also Head Coach Scott Brooks is the Knicks point guard from the 90s you likely don’t remember but it’d be nice to see the former UC-Irvine Anteater get a shot to mold this young group into something more than just a highlight reel.
24.
Dish: Larry Brown continues with the reclamation project in
Wish: Gerald Henderson is part of a new 8-man field at the NBA Slam Dunk contest. This person can jump pretty high and had (please watch this) . He is a talented player as well and I don’t want to make it out like all he does is jam but let’s get some more people in this dunk contest. Enough with the four people, expand it, I don’t care if some people miss or try dumb ideas, let’s just see more people.
25.
Dish: Every now and again a number one pick is just legit. Shaq, Duncan, LeBron to name a few. There are many more examples, settle down. Rose is just the latest, the guy is a phenomenal point guard. Does anyone have doubts this guy is the starter on the 2016 Olympic team if he wants it. I have no doubt. By then he’ll have stacked up a ton of All-Star games and who knows an MVP perhaps? Some other nice pieces here including John Salmons and a hopefully healthy Luol Deng. I feel for Kirk Hinrich as he really never did anything wrong he just happened to be on a team that drafted Derrick Rose.
Wish: Joakim Noah gets a shot attempt swatted into the upper deck at the
Dish: Not since the days of Nique, Kevin “elbow pads” Willis, Jon Koncak, Mookie Blaylock, Craig Ehlo, and Ennis Whatley have the Atlanta Hawks been this relevant. Mike Bibby has had a wonderful resurgence on this team and I could see him putting up another five years plus in the league at this current rate of production. The question is does the rest of the group along with Josh Smith, Joe Johnson, Horford and the rest have enough to get past the Magic, Cavs, Celtics and whoever else. I think yes, just not this year.
Wish:
27.
Dish: The Pistons had some cash and the had to spend it, and they did. Welcome Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva brings his tweeting ways to Mo-Town while Gordon is a great motor guy (I’m low on adjectives). The question is, much like in the late 90s when the Knicks signed Allan Houston and Chris Childs, will these men make the big difference. I feel the answer is no and that must be frustrating. The Pistons take the steps to clear the cap space and then don’t get great value for their dollar. Stuckey and Hamilton are great building blocks along with this group and the Pistons will be in the playoff mix but that is about it.
Wish: The Pistons arena announcer gets his own reality show where he works at a fast food drive thru using that same voice. I believe his name is Mason, put him in the window at an Arby’s and just let the cameras roll. His enthusiasm would increase sales 200 percent and then there would be something to put on NBA TV at 2am instead of a fantasy show.
28.
Dish: It’s time for Elton Brand to start earning that new contract. Some feel it might be karma for spurning the Clippers as an explanation as for why he has yet to get on track in Philly. I think he probably just got unlucky and was hurt. Igoudala is a great running mate for Brand and provided they are both healthy this team should definitely be in the mix come playoff time. They might also get something from Jrue don’t call me Drew Holiday, out of UCLA.
Wish: The Sixers play half of their games on the boardwalk in
29.
Dish: This team more or less traded Turk-o-lew (third mention) for Vince Carter and it could make them very strong. Everybody knows that when Vince Carter gets traded it’s like he’s been rejuvenated. You ever been outside in 100 degree weather and than walk into an air conditioned room that is so cold but you feel so good. That’s how Vince feels when he gets traded, he feels so good, and he’s going to show everyone how good he feels. Also Howard, a healthy Nelson, and Lewis make a for a great unity. Finally is anyone as excited as me that Jason Williams is back in the NBA. No not the guy from Duke, and no not the guy from the Nets, the other one, the flashy point guard formerly of the Kings. This guy was so much fun to watch so I really hope he can find a place on this team. With the trade of Courtney Lee to the Nets, hopefully that back up point guard spot is up for grabs and J-Will can be all over it.
Wish: I was flipping around the tv the other day and saw this jam by Vince. He drove baseline pumped and threw it down with ease and it led me to think, he needs to go back to the dunk contest. I know, I know he can never top what he did in Oakland but while he’s in a good mood and still with some gas in the tank lets let him tear away along with Birdman, Gerald Henderson and five other to be named dunkers. This will never happen but we can always dream.
30.
Dish: “The Big Ticket” Kevin Garnett is back in action after a year hurt by injuries. Add him to the other members of the big three in Ray Allen and Paul Pierce and you have the key guys from the NBA title of two years back. Now add in the “Big Variable” in Rasheed Wallace and this can really make things interesting. Wallace is the type of guy that could have had a couple of MVP trophies under his belt if he was so inclined but never decided to use that talent that way. He has instead made use of lambasting officials and giving out amazing quotes. Still he joins pretty much a read made meal here in the Celtics and there is no reason why this veteran group can’t march their way to the Finals.
Wish: Rajon Rondo gets a solid jump shot. Rondo’s development has been amazing, he has become a nice leader, a fearless driver, and a nifty passer. However his jumper is still severely suspect by NBA standards and everyone knows it. Not sure if he’s done some serious work on it in the offseason, god knows he hit the weight room, but as of last year teams would still play off him and almost dare him to shoot. That’s a livable situation for a starting center, but not for your starting point guard. It’ll be curious to see also how he responds to being moderately shopped this summer. Regardless he needs to hone that jumper.
Let the season begin!
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Cadillac Mescallade: NBA Preview, 30 Dishes & Wishes (Part I)
The 2009-2010 NBA Season is upon us and this is an exciting time. What will the Knicks do to make NYC more attractive for LeBron? How many points will Vince Carter average now that he’s been traded again? When will Dan Dickau retire? These are all questions that may be answered this season. In honor of my vocabulary sensei Walt "Clyde" Frazier, I present 30 “dishes and wishes” on this NBA Season. There is no rhyme or reason to the order of these teams, I leave that to other previews. That said I think the Magic are looking strong this year. Now on to it.
1. New York Knicks
Dish: We know the story here, this season is just killing time until next summer when the Knicks will make a play into the free agent market. In the meantime the Knicks hope to keep David Lee and Nate Robinson happy enough to hang around through the addition of a big gun
Wish: Please let someone get drunk enough to accept Eddy Curry in a trade. We will need other GMs involved to make this happen. Kind of like when you’ve been out all night and your friends encourage you to eat that other Big Mac also. Hopefully this happens. Honestly it doesn’t matter what comes in return, something, nothing, whatever.
Sir if you wouldn’t mind leaving immediately.
2. New Jersey Nets
Dish: Well they have officially gotten rid of every cool player from the last five years with VC moving on. Nothing against Devin Harris, but we know this team is in a bit of a rebuild mode. As bad as the lower half of the East might be, I just don’t know if there is a spot for this team. On a side note can they move to Brooklyn already? Either move or don’t, enough stories about the red tape for the arena in NY. Sad thing is these stories are just heating up.
Wish: They stay in New Jersey. I don’t think New York needs a second team, it gets a little ridiculous. I know it works well for baseball, but New Jersey needs a basketball team of their own and what will become of the Izod Center. Seton Hall and the Devils have already peaced out. What will become of exit 16W? I’d rather not think about it.
3. Denver Nuggets
Dish: Ok so everybody is back on the Billups bandwagon after he took over for Iverson. I kind of feel like towards the end of his Detroit tenure the vibe was he was no longer Mr. Big Shot with all the clutch plays and the like. The forwards on this team are solid, K-Mart, Nene (when healthy), and the bird-man. A very intriguing mix, and yes I’m still high on Martin. I like when people attack the rim like it stole their wallet.
Wish: Chris Anderson redeems himself at the Slam Dunk contest. (Warning this will be a theme here). His appearance a few years back was gross and he’s a talented jumper. Perhaps too awkward for the dunk contest, but I don’t care, put him back in. Maybe he can jump off a trampoline or have Voshon Lenard make a guest appearance and tow him on roller skates on a four wheeler.
4. Cleveland Cavaliers
Dish: Shaqie Robinson has arrived in the home of Drew Carey to help the “King win a ring.” Everyone thinks that Shaq won’t share the spotlight with LeBron, but I’m more of an optimist with this. Maybe it will work, hopefully Shaq realizes this is his last best chance to win yet another ring. He should just float in the key and work on follows and defense. Who knows if he will do this
Wish: This whole thing blows up, LeBron gets pissed and starts looking for houses in the Hamptons en route to the signing with the Knicks. Shaq starts filming season 2 of “Shaq vs” during the playoffs where he uses off days to work on pass blocking with Orlando Pace.
5. Utah Jazz
Dish: Jerry Sloan is still coaching here. That and Deron Williams were the first things that came to my head when pondering this team. The Jazz seem to always be good, but not great. They are in such a tough mix in the West that I don’t know they will ever make it out of there with their core guys. I like their people but I feel you could think of someone better at every position. It’s like they have a bunch of great guys, just not the greatest guys. That said I did just draft Deron Williams early for my fantasy squad.
Wish: Bring back those sweet green jerseys from the New Orleans days. Perhaps one of my favorite old school uniforms. Keep that blue and white and whatever else, but just make the green with the old Jazz look part of the regular rotation. I know they sell them on a somewhat regular basis, but this would cause them to sky rocket. Believe me.
6. Los Angeles Clippers
Dish: Here in Southern California the hype surrounding the Clippers is running wild…psych! It is nice that Blake Griffin is a Clip and by all accounts Baron Davis looks to be in some quality shape. Articles I have read by other writers state the man has lost weight and grown a beard, this should equal a rebound year for B-Diddy. Chris Kaman is back after a year in which he may or may not have been injured, I just don’t remember seeing him out there a whole lot. Whatever happened to Shaun Livingston?
Wish: This team finally moves to Anaheim. I’d go to a ton more games if this were the case and they would stop being the step brothers that are treated like crap by the Lakers. There is the sweet Honda Center, home of the Ducks, where they could call home and a large fan base including all of San Diego, former home of the Clippers, that might root for them. It will never happen since their owner wants to be big pimping in LA, but it should.
7. Milwaukee Bucks
Dish: This one time I went to a Mets game with my dad and it was the summer and real hot. This man next to us had a flannel shirt on with long sleeves and I was very confused. Around the second inning this man unbuttoned one sleeve and out slid a can of Old Milwaukee beer. It was amazing. My dad and I just laughed at each other.
Wish: Michael Redd gets some more respect. The guy is a heck of a shooter and does anyone remember he was on the Beijing Olympic Team? Gun to my head I would have told you that Scoonie Penn was the better guy coming off that OSU Buckeye squad, but here is Redd putting up big numbers. Sure he is mostly an outside shooter, but that’s still a nice thing to have.
8. Phoenix Suns
Dish: This team used to be so much fun to watch, and then they got a few unlucky bounces in the playoffs, scrapped the system and now are kind of a hybrid of what they used to be. I don’t have a good comparison to hybrid cars, but what I will say is they aren’t as popular as the corvette. This is what the Suns used to be, a pedal to the medal squad. They still have Nash, but Amare is carrying some random injuries on his resume, and now Thunder Dan is on the bench, and now the baby is crying.
Wish: Activate Thunder Dan. If anyone watches those all-star game shootouts that involve a current NBA, current WNBA, and legend player, as closely as I do, they then know that Thunder D can still make it rain like Michael Irvin at a Texas strip club in the mid-90s. Put him out there, he would feed off Nash so well just standing in a corner launching three pointers.
9. Minnesota Timberwolves
Dish: No Ricky Rubio, No problem. I like Rubio, I saw him play in the Olympics, he looks like he will be great someday, but I’m not of the idea that he would have turned this T-Wolves team around right away. So perhaps a little seasoning overseas might be the best thing. Key here for the Wolves is do not trade his rights no matter how much people make you feel stupid for still having them. There is a nice young group with Love and Al Jefferson (provided he is healthy). Let’s not forget Johnny Flynn, a total beast in that epic Big East overtime battle last March against UConn. So they have that going for them.
Wish: Sign Starbury in the middle of the year. He says he’s not playing this year but by about January he will be on some justintv video rambling about wanting to hoop again and he could spice things up a bit. Put on the old jersey and return to the place where he started and everyone had such high hopes for him. Perhaps you can go home again and this might work him. He could also grow his hair out and cover the head tattoo so nobody thinks he’s crazy.
10. Los Angeles Lakers
Dish: Here is Southern California the hype surround the Lakers is wild!...for real. People love their Lake Show out here. Was it a bit odd to pretty much trade Ariza for Artest straight up? Perhaps, but Artest when he is on his game is way better than Ariza, everyone must agree on that. Secondly I think Phil just got bored with things. He has a history of adding wild cards (Rodman) so maybe it works for them. Maybe Kobe molds Ron Ron into the perfect teammate, somebody who can have his back and just snuff out anybody who tries to get in Kobe’s face.
Wish: Pau Gasol shaves his beard. It’s just not working out and it should leave. I struggle to take him seriously with that beard. Other than that, a greatly talented guy that is probably better than I thought. It could be a charity event for Kobe as he fully rebuilds his image. Pau shaves for charity, it could raise so much money. I also want to see Andrew Bynum welcome Kareem back into his life. I read an article in the newspaper that Bynum kind of told the “Big Goggles” he didn’t need him anymore. Just let Kareem stay, let him sleep in your bed, can we stop this cruel game you vicious bastards!
11. New Orleans Hornets
Dish: Tyson Chandler finally got to move teams going to Charlotte and then the Hornets got a hold of Emeka Okafor. If I had typed that sentence in 1997 there would be total confusion in North Carolina and Alan Bristow would have been staring at it like a guy on shrooms working a Sudoku. Luckily none of that will be happening and the Hornets unloaded a guy that they had to since they fake traded him to the ThunderCats last year. All said he should have stayed. I like Okafor but the dude is not catching those Paul lobs like Chandler did.
Wish: The Hornets get something done this year. With their economical situation it has become obvious that their window at being good just won’t be open very long, so it is important to they make moves this year while they still have some key pieces. Before you know it, the articles will crop up about the Hornets money woes, E:60 will do a story on how they have one guy that does their website and tapes ankles, and CP3 will be bandied about in stories wanting to leave. Let’s avoid this mess and get this team headed towards the Finals.
12. Toronto Raptors
Dish: Hedo Turk-a-loo (phonetics) spurned the Blazers for reasons nobody knows to go to Toronto. He must really be big on that free healthcare initiative (I’ll be here all week). Seriously though, what are you going to do in Toronto? I think Bosh is bouncing as soon as possible and something about this team I just don’t like. Is Andrea Barn-yani (phonetics) really that good? Some say he is, maybe that is true. Jay Triano is their coach, he should definitely open an Italian joint in Toronto called Triano’s, I’d go.
Wish: This team stops making new alternate jerseys. To quote Kenny Smith “It’s Over!” Just stop, you have white, red, purple, and black. Please no more, I can’t take it anymore. You know somebody up there is getting the final mock ups of a fifth jersey that has just a giant dinosaur footprint on it and nothing else. No names, no numbers just the footprint. This can’t be allowed to happen. Thanks for coming to Triano’s.
13. Houston Rockets
Dish: Anybody remember Tracy McGrady? It’d be cool if he was good again, hopefully he can get back on track this year. It will be a trying season because Yao Ming is already on the shelf for the season with an injury. That has to be the worst feeling, to have your top center out before the season can even begin. Also just in case it hasn’t been stated the Rockets Carl Landry is a dead ringer for “Poppa Doc” from the movie 8-Mile. Clarence parents have a real good marriage…
Wish: More burn for Pops Mensah-Bonsu. Perhaps not known by many but the third year man out of GW, that’s George Washinton, has some serious hops and is just a strong energy guy. I’m always pulling for folks from smaller conferences and it’s no different with Pops. It’d be awesome to just see him shatter the backboard on a jam at the Toyota Center. There I go again day dreaming. Also Chase Budinger, guy has great hops, get him the ball also. I like people that can dunk.
14. Miami Heat
Dish: Will Dwayne Wade leave after this season? Will Michael Beasley hand over the keys to his twitpic account? Will Pat Riley let the team get good then bounce Erik Spolestra and take over as coach? These questions and more answered on this season of Miami Heat. Fun fact, center Jermaine O’Neal is making 21 mil this season, which is of course ridiculous. O’Neal will be key because without him playing up to par this group just doesn’t have the pieces to go far in the East.
Wish: Quentin Richardson has a nice season. Talk about getting picked last during recess. This guy probably set a record for being traded in the offseason. People really didn’t want him. He needs to go back to wearing headbands all the time and then doing that thing where he punches his own head after big shots like when he was on the Clippers. Basically my thought is when things aren’t going well in your NBA career, revert back to what you used to do when everyone thought you were awesome.
15. Golden State Warriors
Dish: Turns out Stephen Jackson wants a trade and like yesterday. Remember when this guy won a title with the Spurs and all the stories were about how Jackson was a nobody that worked his way into the league. The guy just kept scrapping and fighting and finally got on with the Nets and then the Spurs. Somewhere along the line he became big time and now he is calling the shots. I get it, he wants to be traded. So say your sermon and then be done with it. At this point he should play and try and play well so that people will want him. It’s bad enough he has made it known he will complain for a trade once things don’t go his way.
Wish: Nelson plays the heck out of Anthony Randolph. Let this guy play 48 minutes a night. I was so bummed when I missed him in my fantasy draft because he had some serious potential. Randolph reminds me of myself at the roller rink. I was weird and uncoordinated but full of roller skating energy. Then once I was given some time I figured it out and could do ok but then we would have to leave because our rink time was up. That is what Nellie does, he takes Randolph out of his skates just when he is getting going. Just let him stay out there and scrape his knees and crash into the older girls and he’ll figure it out.
Tomorrow: 16-30
1. New York Knicks
Dish: We know the story here, this season is just killing time until next summer when the Knicks will make a play into the free agent market. In the meantime the Knicks hope to keep David Lee and Nate Robinson happy enough to hang around through the addition of a big gun
Wish: Please let someone get drunk enough to accept Eddy Curry in a trade. We will need other GMs involved to make this happen. Kind of like when you’ve been out all night and your friends encourage you to eat that other Big Mac also. Hopefully this happens. Honestly it doesn’t matter what comes in return, something, nothing, whatever.
Sir if you wouldn’t mind leaving immediately. 2. New Jersey Nets
Dish: Well they have officially gotten rid of every cool player from the last five years with VC moving on. Nothing against Devin Harris, but we know this team is in a bit of a rebuild mode. As bad as the lower half of the East might be, I just don’t know if there is a spot for this team. On a side note can they move to Brooklyn already? Either move or don’t, enough stories about the red tape for the arena in NY. Sad thing is these stories are just heating up.
Wish: They stay in New Jersey. I don’t think New York needs a second team, it gets a little ridiculous. I know it works well for baseball, but New Jersey needs a basketball team of their own and what will become of the Izod Center. Seton Hall and the Devils have already peaced out. What will become of exit 16W? I’d rather not think about it.
3. Denver Nuggets
Dish: Ok so everybody is back on the Billups bandwagon after he took over for Iverson. I kind of feel like towards the end of his Detroit tenure the vibe was he was no longer Mr. Big Shot with all the clutch plays and the like. The forwards on this team are solid, K-Mart, Nene (when healthy), and the bird-man. A very intriguing mix, and yes I’m still high on Martin. I like when people attack the rim like it stole their wallet.
Wish: Chris Anderson redeems himself at the Slam Dunk contest. (Warning this will be a theme here). His appearance a few years back was gross and he’s a talented jumper. Perhaps too awkward for the dunk contest, but I don’t care, put him back in. Maybe he can jump off a trampoline or have Voshon Lenard make a guest appearance and tow him on roller skates on a four wheeler.
4. Cleveland Cavaliers
Dish: Shaqie Robinson has arrived in the home of Drew Carey to help the “King win a ring.” Everyone thinks that Shaq won’t share the spotlight with LeBron, but I’m more of an optimist with this. Maybe it will work, hopefully Shaq realizes this is his last best chance to win yet another ring. He should just float in the key and work on follows and defense. Who knows if he will do this
Wish: This whole thing blows up, LeBron gets pissed and starts looking for houses in the Hamptons en route to the signing with the Knicks. Shaq starts filming season 2 of “Shaq vs” during the playoffs where he uses off days to work on pass blocking with Orlando Pace.
5. Utah Jazz
Dish: Jerry Sloan is still coaching here. That and Deron Williams were the first things that came to my head when pondering this team. The Jazz seem to always be good, but not great. They are in such a tough mix in the West that I don’t know they will ever make it out of there with their core guys. I like their people but I feel you could think of someone better at every position. It’s like they have a bunch of great guys, just not the greatest guys. That said I did just draft Deron Williams early for my fantasy squad.
Wish: Bring back those sweet green jerseys from the New Orleans days. Perhaps one of my favorite old school uniforms. Keep that blue and white and whatever else, but just make the green with the old Jazz look part of the regular rotation. I know they sell them on a somewhat regular basis, but this would cause them to sky rocket. Believe me.
6. Los Angeles Clippers
Dish: Here in Southern California the hype surrounding the Clippers is running wild…psych! It is nice that Blake Griffin is a Clip and by all accounts Baron Davis looks to be in some quality shape. Articles I have read by other writers state the man has lost weight and grown a beard, this should equal a rebound year for B-Diddy. Chris Kaman is back after a year in which he may or may not have been injured, I just don’t remember seeing him out there a whole lot. Whatever happened to Shaun Livingston?
Wish: This team finally moves to Anaheim. I’d go to a ton more games if this were the case and they would stop being the step brothers that are treated like crap by the Lakers. There is the sweet Honda Center, home of the Ducks, where they could call home and a large fan base including all of San Diego, former home of the Clippers, that might root for them. It will never happen since their owner wants to be big pimping in LA, but it should.
7. Milwaukee Bucks
Dish: This one time I went to a Mets game with my dad and it was the summer and real hot. This man next to us had a flannel shirt on with long sleeves and I was very confused. Around the second inning this man unbuttoned one sleeve and out slid a can of Old Milwaukee beer. It was amazing. My dad and I just laughed at each other.
Wish: Michael Redd gets some more respect. The guy is a heck of a shooter and does anyone remember he was on the Beijing Olympic Team? Gun to my head I would have told you that Scoonie Penn was the better guy coming off that OSU Buckeye squad, but here is Redd putting up big numbers. Sure he is mostly an outside shooter, but that’s still a nice thing to have.
8. Phoenix Suns
Dish: This team used to be so much fun to watch, and then they got a few unlucky bounces in the playoffs, scrapped the system and now are kind of a hybrid of what they used to be. I don’t have a good comparison to hybrid cars, but what I will say is they aren’t as popular as the corvette. This is what the Suns used to be, a pedal to the medal squad. They still have Nash, but Amare is carrying some random injuries on his resume, and now Thunder Dan is on the bench, and now the baby is crying.
Wish: Activate Thunder Dan. If anyone watches those all-star game shootouts that involve a current NBA, current WNBA, and legend player, as closely as I do, they then know that Thunder D can still make it rain like Michael Irvin at a Texas strip club in the mid-90s. Put him out there, he would feed off Nash so well just standing in a corner launching three pointers.
9. Minnesota Timberwolves
Dish: No Ricky Rubio, No problem. I like Rubio, I saw him play in the Olympics, he looks like he will be great someday, but I’m not of the idea that he would have turned this T-Wolves team around right away. So perhaps a little seasoning overseas might be the best thing. Key here for the Wolves is do not trade his rights no matter how much people make you feel stupid for still having them. There is a nice young group with Love and Al Jefferson (provided he is healthy). Let’s not forget Johnny Flynn, a total beast in that epic Big East overtime battle last March against UConn. So they have that going for them.
Wish: Sign Starbury in the middle of the year. He says he’s not playing this year but by about January he will be on some justintv video rambling about wanting to hoop again and he could spice things up a bit. Put on the old jersey and return to the place where he started and everyone had such high hopes for him. Perhaps you can go home again and this might work him. He could also grow his hair out and cover the head tattoo so nobody thinks he’s crazy.
10. Los Angeles Lakers
Dish: Here is Southern California the hype surround the Lakers is wild!...for real. People love their Lake Show out here. Was it a bit odd to pretty much trade Ariza for Artest straight up? Perhaps, but Artest when he is on his game is way better than Ariza, everyone must agree on that. Secondly I think Phil just got bored with things. He has a history of adding wild cards (Rodman) so maybe it works for them. Maybe Kobe molds Ron Ron into the perfect teammate, somebody who can have his back and just snuff out anybody who tries to get in Kobe’s face.
Wish: Pau Gasol shaves his beard. It’s just not working out and it should leave. I struggle to take him seriously with that beard. Other than that, a greatly talented guy that is probably better than I thought. It could be a charity event for Kobe as he fully rebuilds his image. Pau shaves for charity, it could raise so much money. I also want to see Andrew Bynum welcome Kareem back into his life. I read an article in the newspaper that Bynum kind of told the “Big Goggles” he didn’t need him anymore. Just let Kareem stay, let him sleep in your bed, can we stop this cruel game you vicious bastards!
11. New Orleans Hornets
Dish: Tyson Chandler finally got to move teams going to Charlotte and then the Hornets got a hold of Emeka Okafor. If I had typed that sentence in 1997 there would be total confusion in North Carolina and Alan Bristow would have been staring at it like a guy on shrooms working a Sudoku. Luckily none of that will be happening and the Hornets unloaded a guy that they had to since they fake traded him to the ThunderCats last year. All said he should have stayed. I like Okafor but the dude is not catching those Paul lobs like Chandler did.
Wish: The Hornets get something done this year. With their economical situation it has become obvious that their window at being good just won’t be open very long, so it is important to they make moves this year while they still have some key pieces. Before you know it, the articles will crop up about the Hornets money woes, E:60 will do a story on how they have one guy that does their website and tapes ankles, and CP3 will be bandied about in stories wanting to leave. Let’s avoid this mess and get this team headed towards the Finals.
12. Toronto Raptors
Dish: Hedo Turk-a-loo (phonetics) spurned the Blazers for reasons nobody knows to go to Toronto. He must really be big on that free healthcare initiative (I’ll be here all week). Seriously though, what are you going to do in Toronto? I think Bosh is bouncing as soon as possible and something about this team I just don’t like. Is Andrea Barn-yani (phonetics) really that good? Some say he is, maybe that is true. Jay Triano is their coach, he should definitely open an Italian joint in Toronto called Triano’s, I’d go.
Wish: This team stops making new alternate jerseys. To quote Kenny Smith “It’s Over!” Just stop, you have white, red, purple, and black. Please no more, I can’t take it anymore. You know somebody up there is getting the final mock ups of a fifth jersey that has just a giant dinosaur footprint on it and nothing else. No names, no numbers just the footprint. This can’t be allowed to happen. Thanks for coming to Triano’s.
13. Houston Rockets
Dish: Anybody remember Tracy McGrady? It’d be cool if he was good again, hopefully he can get back on track this year. It will be a trying season because Yao Ming is already on the shelf for the season with an injury. That has to be the worst feeling, to have your top center out before the season can even begin. Also just in case it hasn’t been stated the Rockets Carl Landry is a dead ringer for “Poppa Doc” from the movie 8-Mile. Clarence parents have a real good marriage…
Wish: More burn for Pops Mensah-Bonsu. Perhaps not known by many but the third year man out of GW, that’s George Washinton, has some serious hops and is just a strong energy guy. I’m always pulling for folks from smaller conferences and it’s no different with Pops. It’d be awesome to just see him shatter the backboard on a jam at the Toyota Center. There I go again day dreaming. Also Chase Budinger, guy has great hops, get him the ball also. I like people that can dunk.
14. Miami Heat
Dish: Will Dwayne Wade leave after this season? Will Michael Beasley hand over the keys to his twitpic account? Will Pat Riley let the team get good then bounce Erik Spolestra and take over as coach? These questions and more answered on this season of Miami Heat. Fun fact, center Jermaine O’Neal is making 21 mil this season, which is of course ridiculous. O’Neal will be key because without him playing up to par this group just doesn’t have the pieces to go far in the East.
Wish: Quentin Richardson has a nice season. Talk about getting picked last during recess. This guy probably set a record for being traded in the offseason. People really didn’t want him. He needs to go back to wearing headbands all the time and then doing that thing where he punches his own head after big shots like when he was on the Clippers. Basically my thought is when things aren’t going well in your NBA career, revert back to what you used to do when everyone thought you were awesome.
15. Golden State Warriors
Dish: Turns out Stephen Jackson wants a trade and like yesterday. Remember when this guy won a title with the Spurs and all the stories were about how Jackson was a nobody that worked his way into the league. The guy just kept scrapping and fighting and finally got on with the Nets and then the Spurs. Somewhere along the line he became big time and now he is calling the shots. I get it, he wants to be traded. So say your sermon and then be done with it. At this point he should play and try and play well so that people will want him. It’s bad enough he has made it known he will complain for a trade once things don’t go his way.
Wish: Nelson plays the heck out of Anthony Randolph. Let this guy play 48 minutes a night. I was so bummed when I missed him in my fantasy draft because he had some serious potential. Randolph reminds me of myself at the roller rink. I was weird and uncoordinated but full of roller skating energy. Then once I was given some time I figured it out and could do ok but then we would have to leave because our rink time was up. That is what Nellie does, he takes Randolph out of his skates just when he is getting going. Just let him stay out there and scrape his knees and crash into the older girls and he’ll figure it out.
Tomorrow: 16-30
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
Onlookers Offer Sound Advice for Marine Corps Marathoners
Come to think of it, it's sound advice for anyone.
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Friday, October 23, 2009
Separated at Birth: Redneck Yankee
HHR's resident card-carrying member of the Dale Jr. fan club pointed out that his driver bares a striking resemblance to last night's Yankee starter, AJ Burnett.
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Thursday, October 22, 2009
Military Gets Creative, Sporty Online
In the grand scheme of things, a website dedicated to the marriage of military and sports is a small convenience for our men and women in uniform. That said, the launch of the "AfterAction Report" at the Military Times, which covers everything where the worlds of sport and the military overlap, is a very cool and creative outlet.
Great job by MT.
Great job by MT.
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The Slackers Line
As a lover of all things that remotely resemble sports, be it beer pong trick shots, pool dunks, or skateboard injury videos, I subscribe to the idea that athletics are everywhere. With that in mind, we bring you slacklining tricks.
I'll be the first to admit I have a slackline of my very own. It remains in the box it came in, and after watching this video I think it just might stay there. As much as I enjoy the acrobatic feats of the circus variety, I would much prefer to watch them. I'm more of a drinking-with-the-clown kind of guy anyway.
I'll be the first to admit I have a slackline of my very own. It remains in the box it came in, and after watching this video I think it just might stay there. As much as I enjoy the acrobatic feats of the circus variety, I would much prefer to watch them. I'm more of a drinking-with-the-clown kind of guy anyway.
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The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 7
As we've reached the halfway point of college football's regular season, we’re starting to get a real handle on who are contenders (Bama) and who are pretenders (LSU, Ole Miss). So here are some random observations on the first half of the season.
Dadgum
Remember the days when people actually respected Florida State’s defense? When guys like Deion Sanders, Peter Boulware and Derrick Brooks struck fear in the hearts of opposing quarterbacks? This season, however, the Seminoles have given up 28 or more points in four of six games marked (and they lost one of the other two). The heat is only getting hotter on Bobby Bowden, and this very non-Florida State-like defense is a big reason.
Does Anybody Want to Win the Big 12 North?
In the early days of the Big 12, the North ruled the roost. Nebraska, Kansas State and Colorado were perennial top-ten teams, while Mack Brown was beginning to wake the sleeping giant in Texas and Oklahoma suffered through John Blake. In recent years, however, the tide has turned, with OU and UT being national title contenders every year and the north struggling through scandals at CU, the retirement of Bill Snyder at KSU and the Steve Pederson/Bill Callahan debacle at Nebraska. Early on this season, however, I thought that maybe this was the season the Bis 12 North could finally give their Southern counterparts a run for their money. Then week 7 happened. Nebraska, just a week removed from a big win at Missouri to put them in the driver's seat in the division, pissed down their leg in a 31-10 home loss to Texas Tech.
Then, later that night, previously undefeated Kansas choked at Colorado (yes, that Colorado). Missouri looked gimpier than Blaine Gabbert's ankle in a 33-17 loss at Oklahoma State. When your "big" wins are over Texas A&M and Baylor, it doesn't speak well for your division.
Nebraska DT Ndamukong Suh is one of the North's bright spots. But even he's not good enough to make up for Nebraska's bizarrely inconsistent offense.
Where Have You Gone, JaMarcus Russell? Uh, Wait, Scratch That.
How LSU got to be a top-5 team is beyond me. Their 13-3 loss against Florida illustrated just how bad the Tigers’ offense is. Not taking anything away from Florida’s defense, but that score said a whole lot less about Florida’s D than it did about LSU’s terrible offense. LSU currently ranks 91st in scoring offense and 112th in total offense. Sure, their defense (14th in scoring defense; 35th in total defense) is good enough to win them some games. But a top 5 team should at least have a semblance of balance, something Les Miles’ squad is sorely lacking.
Fear the Potato
OK, raise your hand if you had Idaho in the "Who Will be Bowl Eligible Before Oklahoma, Ohio State and USC" pool. Anyone?
Dadgum
Remember the days when people actually respected Florida State’s defense? When guys like Deion Sanders, Peter Boulware and Derrick Brooks struck fear in the hearts of opposing quarterbacks? This season, however, the Seminoles have given up 28 or more points in four of six games marked (and they lost one of the other two). The heat is only getting hotter on Bobby Bowden, and this very non-Florida State-like defense is a big reason.
At this rate, Allstate may be able to hire the real Bowden for next season.
Does Anybody Want to Win the Big 12 North?
In the early days of the Big 12, the North ruled the roost. Nebraska, Kansas State and Colorado were perennial top-ten teams, while Mack Brown was beginning to wake the sleeping giant in Texas and Oklahoma suffered through John Blake. In recent years, however, the tide has turned, with OU and UT being national title contenders every year and the north struggling through scandals at CU, the retirement of Bill Snyder at KSU and the Steve Pederson/Bill Callahan debacle at Nebraska. Early on this season, however, I thought that maybe this was the season the Bis 12 North could finally give their Southern counterparts a run for their money. Then week 7 happened. Nebraska, just a week removed from a big win at Missouri to put them in the driver's seat in the division, pissed down their leg in a 31-10 home loss to Texas Tech.
Then, later that night, previously undefeated Kansas choked at Colorado (yes, that Colorado). Missouri looked gimpier than Blaine Gabbert's ankle in a 33-17 loss at Oklahoma State. When your "big" wins are over Texas A&M and Baylor, it doesn't speak well for your division.
Nebraska DT Ndamukong Suh is one of the North's bright spots. But even he's not good enough to make up for Nebraska's bizarrely inconsistent offense.Where Have You Gone, JaMarcus Russell? Uh, Wait, Scratch That.
How LSU got to be a top-5 team is beyond me. Their 13-3 loss against Florida illustrated just how bad the Tigers’ offense is. Not taking anything away from Florida’s defense, but that score said a whole lot less about Florida’s D than it did about LSU’s terrible offense. LSU currently ranks 91st in scoring offense and 112th in total offense. Sure, their defense (14th in scoring defense; 35th in total defense) is good enough to win them some games. But a top 5 team should at least have a semblance of balance, something Les Miles’ squad is sorely lacking.
Speaking of unbalanced . . .
Fear the Potato
OK, raise your hand if you had Idaho in the "Who Will be Bowl Eligible Before Oklahoma, Ohio State and USC" pool. Anyone?
Bueller? Bueller?
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Separated at Birth: Fat Joe Martin
I had been wondering all series why Dodger C Russell Martin's jersey reads "J. Martin". Now I relaize it's in reference to his alter-ego, rapper Fat Joe.
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Dewey's Latest at the Coors Light Right Brain Fantasy Report
Let's just say the way my season's going, I might just be best served paying a little more attention.
That, or just accuse Dewey of cheating.
That, or just accuse Dewey of cheating.
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Bearcats Radio Station Takes Shots at TOSU
These are radio lead-ins for Univ. of Cincinnati football on Cincy’s main AM station, WLW 700. They are taking major shots at Ohio State with these – it’s beautiful!Plus, gotta love the fact that they’ve got the OSU fight song playing in the background. Whoever produced these lead-ins might get murdered. Seriously.
Listen to ten of the promos here.
-Posted by Rev. Shaw Moore
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Brady Quinn is Dreamy Even When Airbrushed
From my friend Katie:
Hey what's ur email? I found a pic w my friends shirt w the airbrushed brady face one it. Also of muni lot and a mullet!
This is the Tshirt I was telling you about and the AMAZING muni lot of cleveland oh!
You're welcome, boys. Anonymity is on me.
Hey what's ur email? I found a pic w my friends shirt w the airbrushed brady face one it. Also of muni lot and a mullet!
This is the Tshirt I was telling you about and the AMAZING muni lot of cleveland oh!
You're welcome, boys. Anonymity is on me.
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BwB 2.0 Recaps, Round 1
Puck Daddy in Vegas: 21 observations about hockey, gambling, new media journalism and Blogs With Balls 2.0 (Yahoo! Sports' Puck Daddy)
Blogs with Balls in Las Vegas Wrap-up (Gunaxin)
Top Sports Bloggers and Poker Celebrities Join Annie Duke for Blogs With Balls Charity Shootout Benefiting Ante Up for Africa (GreasieWheels Blog)
Jalen, Vegas, and why it matters to you (Red's Army)
Fear, Loathing and Blogs in Las Vegas (Sporting Madness: Part I, Part II, Part III)
"My Blogs With Balls panel dealt with blogger access to sports, and it was a pleasure to debate with the issues with Mitch Germann, the vice-president of communications with the Sacramento Kings; John Karalis of the Boston Celtics' blog Red's Army; Patrick Wixted of New Media Strategies; and our moderator Dan Levy of On The DL.
...I think every blogger who wants access, and can demonstrate that his or her audience will be better served with access, should have the chance to gain it. That goes for burgeoning journalists or fan bloggers."
Blogs with Balls in Las Vegas Wrap-up (Gunaxin)
"HHR Media and Friends put on a hell of a show, again. Don, Chris, and assorted friends have pulled off another fabulous event, and left everyone in awe of their ability to pull shit together. First rate communication via the website, Facebook, e-mails, and even the printed program once we arrived at the event made it easy for attendees and panelists. From the professionally produced intro video and the folks documenting the entire event on film and video, all details were taken care of in an expert manner."
Top Sports Bloggers and Poker Celebrities Join Annie Duke for Blogs With Balls Charity Shootout Benefiting Ante Up for Africa (GreasieWheels Blog)
"On Friday, October 16th, professional poker players and top sports bloggers representing ESPN, Fox Sports, Yahoo, AOL, Sports Illustrated, Gawker Media, Yardbarker, SB Nation, and many more came together for Blogs with Balls, a charity poker shootout at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Poker Lounge. The fundraiser was held in conjunction with the BlogWorld & New Media 2009 Expo in Las Vegas...
The event raised awareness and $10,000 for Ante Up for Africa, a charity founded by Duke and award-winning actor Don Cheadle to aid relief and support human rights efforts in Darfur."
Jalen, Vegas, and why it matters to you (Red's Army)
"So while I loved the excuse to get out to Vegas, this trip really was about you... the readers. In the coming months, we hope some of these meetings manifest themselves in cool new features and guests. We have some things in the works now and we're hoping to bring them to you either by the beginning of the Celtics season... or shortly after they begin."
Fear, Loathing and Blogs in Las Vegas (Sporting Madness: Part I, Part II, Part III)
"There are too many people in the blog world who focus on trying to replace the mainstream media, and too many mainstream journalists who are worried about being replaced by blogs and Tweets."
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Hate work? Pretend you're back in college
One more level, then I go potty.How many times have you internally screamed this statement during the work day: I'd give anything to go back to college!
It was the greatest time of your life. Back when two classes a day was considered "a ton of work to do"and you actually got laid on a consistent basis. Memorrriieesss...like the corner of my mind. What about those video game marathons? You and friends playing Madden until the early morning, fueled on nothing more than Natty Light backwash and eventual bragging rights?
Want to go back to school just for the good parts? Video games and tailgating football? Here is your shot.
Check out the 4th & Goal Sweepstakes and the Ur So Connected College Game Day Tour for a chance to win an all-expenses paid trip for two to the BCS championship game in January and $500 spending change. Additional prizes include: XBox systems, Zune music players, and XBox games. Check out the main page for all the details.
As an added bonus, and because we rule, HHR is giving away some video games to make you feel a little better about your boring life. Entry to win is simple. Email us here and tell us your greatest sports video game triumph. Win a boatload of money off a roomate? Make a frat brother eat poop? Win poop? We want to hear the best stories.
Send us your best video game story and you might just win yourself a prize. Deadline to email is October 31st.
Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.
It was the greatest time of your life. Back when two classes a day was considered "a ton of work to do"and you actually got laid on a consistent basis. Memorrriieesss...like the corner of my mind. What about those video game marathons? You and friends playing Madden until the early morning, fueled on nothing more than Natty Light backwash and eventual bragging rights?
Want to go back to school just for the good parts? Video games and tailgating football? Here is your shot.
Check out the 4th & Goal Sweepstakes and the Ur So Connected College Game Day Tour for a chance to win an all-expenses paid trip for two to the BCS championship game in January and $500 spending change. Additional prizes include: XBox systems, Zune music players, and XBox games. Check out the main page for all the details.
As an added bonus, and because we rule, HHR is giving away some video games to make you feel a little better about your boring life. Entry to win is simple. Email us here and tell us your greatest sports video game triumph. Win a boatload of money off a roomate? Make a frat brother eat poop? Win poop? We want to hear the best stories.
Send us your best video game story and you might just win yourself a prize. Deadline to email is October 31st.
Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Blogs With Balls 2.0 Shuffles Up and Deals
We have a lot of pictures, videos, and other blackmail-worthy media to post in the coming days, but first, we'd like to start with a thank you to the people who came out to Blogs With Balls 2.0 at Blog World Expo in Las Vegas. We made a giant request of you all: that you trust us to make it worth whatever you sacrificed to make it here; be it vacation days, a plane flight, hotel, or part of the Phillies-Dodgers game, everyone put life on hold to meet up, share a lot of useful information, and to take on Vegas. Raising $10,000 for Ante up For Africa as part of our first ever Blogs With Balls Charity Poker Shootout with Annie Duke (and 10 other pros) was a fitting way to end it all.
We are especially grateful to our sponsors - Track Sponsors FoxSports and Yardbarker, as well as ESPN, Sports Illustrated, SB Nation, Carbon Poker, and Diageo Liquors. Each contributed something unique, and all are heavily invested in seeing the quality of online sports writing supported and rise to what we are capable of. Dan Levy, Beryllium Pictures, and Kabimba Media represented a special group of our sponsors - good friends who came on to work at the event, making sure BwB 2.0 was an amazing experience to have and to share.
Speaking of which, we've got a lot of footage to share - including every single panel in its entirety - but let's start at the end. Below, take a look at a few shots from the Blogs With Balls Charity Poker Shootout benefitting Ante up for Africa. Sure, we raised $10,000, but we also got to party with Captain Morgan himself (the actual guy from the commercials), wear funny Cuervo hats, and go chip-to-chip with some of the world's best poker players (in a post-tourney side game two bloggers, Ufford and Jimbo, outlasted and took down 5 pros). Take a look!
Spencer Hall and PUNTE have a very serious discussion about strategy (specifically hat strategy).
Dan Levy, Annie Duke, Don & Chris from HHR.
JoeSportsFan interviews FanDuel (who just learned to play that night & made the final 20 out of 100)
Of COURSE he's one of the Gunaxin guys.
Spencer and the Captain.
Ufford's hat, AJ of Deadspin, Poker Pro Gavin Smith, Jimbo,
Poker Pro Jeff Madsen, and Dan Levy before the carnage really began.
Big Winner: Adam Best of Fansided.com. Outwitted and outlasted 100 other players.
Well definitely outlasted, anyway.
Did Ufford win Jason Mraz's hat earlier in the night?
A full Blogs With Balls gallery will be up this week.
We are especially grateful to our sponsors - Track Sponsors FoxSports and Yardbarker, as well as ESPN, Sports Illustrated, SB Nation, Carbon Poker, and Diageo Liquors. Each contributed something unique, and all are heavily invested in seeing the quality of online sports writing supported and rise to what we are capable of. Dan Levy, Beryllium Pictures, and Kabimba Media represented a special group of our sponsors - good friends who came on to work at the event, making sure BwB 2.0 was an amazing experience to have and to share.
Speaking of which, we've got a lot of footage to share - including every single panel in its entirety - but let's start at the end. Below, take a look at a few shots from the Blogs With Balls Charity Poker Shootout benefitting Ante up for Africa. Sure, we raised $10,000, but we also got to party with Captain Morgan himself (the actual guy from the commercials), wear funny Cuervo hats, and go chip-to-chip with some of the world's best poker players (in a post-tourney side game two bloggers, Ufford and Jimbo, outlasted and took down 5 pros). Take a look!
Spencer Hall and PUNTE have a very serious discussion about strategy (specifically hat strategy). 
Dan Levy, Annie Duke, Don & Chris from HHR. 
JoeSportsFan interviews FanDuel (who just learned to play that night & made the final 20 out of 100) 
Of COURSE he's one of the Gunaxin guys. 
Spencer and the Captain. 
Ufford's hat, AJ of Deadspin, Poker Pro Gavin Smith, Jimbo,Poker Pro Jeff Madsen, and Dan Levy before the carnage really began.
Big Winner: Adam Best of Fansided.com. Outwitted and outlasted 100 other players.Well definitely outlasted, anyway.
Did Ufford win Jason Mraz's hat earlier in the night?A full Blogs With Balls gallery will be up this week.
Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Greatest Fan Ever
I first heard about this story early in the week and I wanted to write about it then. The only problem was, frankly, I found it hard to believe. It sounded like ESPN had decided to start producing their own soap opera. But after checking with some friends in Nebraska and confirming it's legit, I just had to pass it along.
Rex Plock.
1920-2009
1920-2009
The fine gentleman above was Rex Plock. He passed away last Sunday at the age of 89. In the course of his interesting life, he was a World War II vet, a farmer and a restaurant owner. He was also the greatest college football fan ever. And when you finish reading this story, you'll see that I'm not even exaggerating.
Plock was a lifelong Nebraskan, who loved his Huskers. No big shocker there, but here's where it gets interesting. In failing health, he lapsed into a coma from which his doctors and family didn't expect him to wake up. However, six days later, on the day before Nebraska's key Big 12 showdown against Missouri, he suddenly woke up and declared that his one last wish was to watch the Cornhuskers beat the Tigers on Thursday. Just like that, he lapsed back into the coma.
But our story doesn't end there--the next day, he came out of his coma AGAIN, just in time for the game. For three quarters, it looked like he wouldn't get his wish as Nebraska's offense and special teams were as bad as the Missouri weather. But in the fourth quarter, the Husker offense exploded to the tune of 27 unanswered points to win going away.
With his final wish fulfilled, Rex Plock slowly drifted away before passing away on Sunday, presumably still with a smile on his face.
Wanting to see your favorite team win a big game is one thing. Coming out of a coma--twice--to see them do it? That's the stuff of legend.
So Rest in Peace, Mr. Plock. You are the greatest college football fan ever.
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RUSTY VS. REV: Red River Shootout Edition
The Rev's take...
To this point in the season, Texas has quietly – but impressively – built an undefeated 5-0 record and no. 3 national ranking. After an overly impressive one-loss season in 2008 (where Texas was left out of the national championship game only because of a quirk in Big XII conference tiebreaker rules), the 2009 Longhorns have picked up right where they left off last year.
Critics are quick to point out that Texas hasn’t played anyone yet – as Rusty points out, the Longhorns best win so far came against an underachieving Texas Tech team. But before you turn your nose up too far, take a look at the numbers: Texas has a top ten offense, rolling up 480 yards and 47.2 points per game. The defense? Just as good: Texas is yielding just 233 yards and 15 points per game.
Now, all of that will be put to the test in the Longhorns’ biggest game of the year against their hated rivals, the Oklahoma Sooners. Even though the Sooners already have two losses, they came by a combined two points. And that was with their 2008 Heisman winning quarterback, Sam Bradford, on the shelf with a shoulder injury. Bradford returned last week against Baylor and hung 389 yards on the Bears – and most observers say that was a bad game for him! You can easily make the argument that this team would be undefeated had Bradford not gotten injured, and you know that he’ll be ready to go for this rivalry game.
Fortunately for Texas, they’ve got a superhero of their own in QB Colt McCoy. Perhaps no other person to have ever played QB for Texas has been so aptly named for the position. The gunslinger is the heart and soul of the Longhorns, and he absolutely plays his best on the big stage. Remember, it was McCoy who outplayed Bradford in this contest last year, leading his Texas team to a win over the Sooners. McCoy has put up gaudy numbers again this year, and he will challenge OU with both his passing and scrambling ability.
Oklahoma is an extremely good team, and even with two losses, they are still in position to win the Big XII South with a win against Texas. Texas, on the other hand, has unfinished business from 2008, and they need a win to stay in the national title hunt. This is always one of the best college football games of the year, and tomorrow’s matchup should not disappoint.
Texas is a 2.5 point favorite, and I think that’s a fair line. Watch for the Longhorns to squeak by the Sooners, 33-30.
Rusty's Take...
The Red River Shootout, one of the best and most storied rivalries in all of college football. In recent years, it's been a Big 12 Championship play-in game. You have to go all the way back to 1998 to find a team other than Texas or Oklahoma that made it to the Big 12 Championship game from the South. Unfortunately for the Longhorns, it's been this play-in game that's kept Texas out of the Big 12 Championship game for a number of years in the early 2000's. In fact, since 2000 the Sooners have posted 6 Red River wins to only 3 Texas victories, and have only gone to the Big 12 title game twice (2001 & 2005).
This year coming into the weekend's big noon kick-off, Texas may find itself with another large hurdle to leap and I'm not talking about Sam Bradford. Texas's top 2 RB's, Junior Vondrell McGee and freshmen Tre Newton have combined for over half of Texas's rushing attack this season, but will be watching the action from the bench with injuries this coming weekend. Their replacements, co-starters Cody Johnson and Foswhitt Whitaker have combined for only 123 yards on 29 carries, so far. The good news is that they have combined for 7 of the Longhorns 14 rushing TD's, but they've gotta get close to the goal line before they can score.
On the other side of the ball, the Sooners injury report looks a whole lost more promising. 2008 Heisman winner Sam Bradford came back last week in a warm-up game against Baylor. He looked a little rusty, but was still able to pass for almost 400 yards in a win. I imagine with a big game against his new buddy Colt McCoy this coming weekend, Bradford will be back in full force. In last year's losing effort, Bradford tallied 387 yards and 5 TD's, but it was a poor rushing attack that really sealed the deal. This year's attack looks a bit stronger, averaging almost 200 yards on the ground per week.
Make no mistake about it. OU's got a tough contest against Texas. Texas sports a top 10 offense, and top 5 defense. But unlike Oklahoma, who has played 2 ranked opponents, Texas only real competition so far has been Texas Tech, who hasn't exactly matched its previous year's success.
Now, before you start calling ole Rusty a hypocrite for picking against the Sooners just a few short weeks ago, realize the vastly different situation. Against, Miami, the Sooners were without Bradford, halfway across the country in hostile territory against an unknown team. This week, in Dallas, they face an opponent they are all too familiar with and Bradford's 100%. I anticipate a hard fought contest, but a clear OU win. Rusty's going with the Sooners, 31-24.
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