Thursday, December 31, 2009

Kayfabian Messiah: Charles Tillman, the NFL’s Worst Cornerback of All Time

Throughout the season we will feature the ramblings of unapologetic Bears fan (and Cutler/Lovie hater) the Kayfabian Messiah. For more KM, you can check out "Thoughts from the Inner Walls."

---

I hadn’t written anything in weeks because there was really not a lot to say. The Bears beat the Browns & Rams & other than that had performed like the Oakland Raiders almost all year. Last night was a huge game & showed that they are not a terrible team, but revealed a lot of why have nots.

The first is one that has bothered me since the beginning of the season & will be the drum that beats Lovie Smith & Ron Turner out of jobs. Why was Devin Aromashodu not starting all year? He played excellently in preseason. The only reason it seems Earl Bennett got a starting job was more to kiss Jay Cutler’s ass because they were college teammates. I have never had a problem with Devin Hester or Johnny Knox in those roles because they actually work hard & excel. Bennett is just not anything more than a wideout. He is blameless personally because nobody is going to say I don’t want to be a starter. But this Mangini like Favre love put on Cutler by Lovie & Turner began with that half-assed decision.

The second one was a blessing in disguise. Last year, the Bears went 9-7 but they easily could have had several more wins. One guy on defense had them blow multiple leads with his outrageously terrible coverage of wide receivers, inability to keep his own balance & all around blooper reel like qualities. That man is Charles Tillman, the NFL’s worst cornerback of all time. Your job as a CB is to guard WRs. If you can’t keep up with them and/or run the easiest of routes not only shouldn’t you start but you should be out of the league!


The dumb ass logic of keeping Tillman as a starter (despite drafting his replacement that is faster & 100 times better) is things he does in the community. Now I love players who give back & stuff but this isn’t tee ball where everyone gets a chance to play. These guys are getting millions of dollars! This isn’t a volunteer job! He is not doing his job! Tillman has been beyond terrible including his infamous clumsiness of tripping over himself. If you are great in the community & no longer can cut it as a player then retire & join the player’s association as a goodwill rep! But because his true colors are about the money he won’t! That is the Charles Tillman hypocrisy!

Instead he undermines a team’s defense & they are forced to play two games on defense. One is the Bear’s defense against the opposing offense. The second game is the Bears Linebackers & Defensive Ends having to do his job & almost play against him for the defense to succeed. This is why the defense did well for a while against Minnesota because the LBs & the DEs continued to push through not allowing Tillman to be the blocker. When Tillman was the blocker guys like Peterson easily threw him to the ground as if he was as imposing a 95 lb ref. That was on top of the clumsiness & screw ups of the routes.

When this horribly inept joke of professional football CB got hurt (which was like winning the Superbowl to me) all of sudden the secondary was able to make a ton of stops & held the Vikings to a FG. What a coincidence! As a matter a fact even in OT it was obvious that the Vikings struggled to move the ball once this disgrace to every player to ever play in the league on the secondary was out of the game. This is another reason Lovie Smith will be canned. Tillman is one of his best friends. He hired another one of his friends to miscoach the defense last year & obviously that failed. He does as well with separating friendship from professionalism as Robert Downey Jr. usually did with sobriety!

It makes it far worse because the Bears drafted DJ Moore who is faster & far better than Tillman & after last night more than anything it was obvious Tillman sucks on a national scale; so why Lovie are you still starting him? These kinds of boneheaded moves not only will fire Uncle Ben but its going to make it damn hard for him to get a coordinator job even in the CFL! Imagine if the Giants fire Sheridan & hired this goof! He would probably fall in love with CC Brown & push to start him every week even though the guy is obviously awful.

All in all it was great to see my favorite team beat my least favorite team & at least the Bears have an attempt to go 7-9 which is far better than the 4-12 finish I was sadly anticipating several weeks ago. However, it also is a disgrace with the talent they have to not make the playoffs the last 3 years & the incompetent coaching was even worse than the issues on the Browns, Raiders & Chiefs in many many ways! Since great things were not allowed to be used all year, the showcasing of talent that was constantly benched only makes you look than much worse as a coach. It may have been the worst thing to happen to Smith (and the greatest things for Bears fans) because now a new coach is going to be able to come in here & do these things & make things happen. Goodbye Uncle Ben & Good Riddens!


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Lebron: A decade of dunks (and tons of wasted chalk)

Has Lebron really been playing for a decade? Unreal.

The fellas over at Stepien Rules have put together a nice little collection of the poster-worthy dunks of King James over the past ten years.

A personal fave is #5 and a dunk on Delonte West. It's not so much the dunk but the reaction of two little portly fellas in the crowd.


They either just saw Basketball Jesus or they are fresh out of funnel cake.

A Decade of LeBron James Dunk Posters...from 10-1 (Stepien Rules)



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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Waiting For Godunk: 'Tis the Season

My name is Kevin Owens and I have been playing professional basketball for the past six years. I decided to start a blog documenting my daily life. I have a degree in journalism and haven't written anything since college, so I figured why not. I don't particularly think I am that interesting, however when telling people about the traveling circus that is my life, they seem very entertained. I'll be contributing some of those stories once a week here at HHR. You can also now catch me on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk. Hope you enjoy!

----

Another Christmas has come and gone and I am happy it’s over. During this season I have a difficult time saying no to Christmas cookies. Thankfully I am back to my regular grueling workout routine. I actually stepped it up so that I can get rid of all the Sam Adams and wine I drank this past week. I really do love Christmas, I just don’t like being at home and jobless while others are sacrificing for the game. Like Thanksgiving, this is a holiday usually not spent with family.

My first Christmas in the D-League was spent in a hotel in Fayetteville, NC. I remember walking across the street to a gas station to get my “Christmas dinner,” and seeing a group of joyful people stopping for gas en route to a party…I never despised anyone more. They were off to hang out with their loved ones while I heated up a day old burrito in the microwave.

Although I would rather be playing during this holiday season, I did enjoy my time at home. I was around my family and saw the excitement on my nieces and nephews’ faces when they opened their gifts. I also had an eye-opening story told to me by my sister.

She told us how her friend’s six year old son received Philadelphia Eagles tickets for an early Christmas present. During warm-ups they walked down to the field to watch as the players went into the locker room. Eagles wide receiver Desean Jackson walked passed, looked into the stands, and tossed a ball to the boy. Already an enormous Eagles fan, his day was made. He spent the remainder of the game talking about how amazing Desean Jackson is. He now spends every night tucked away in bed with his new prized possession.

This is something that is fairly common in sports. A player tosses a ball or an accessory into the crowd. A young fan catches the item and cherishes it for the remainder of his life. How often do athletes realize how much their otherwise insignificant gesture changes the life of someone else? Desean Jackson will be a hero to this boy for years to come.

I had a moment like that when I was in high school. Growing up I was a huge Boomer Esiason fan. (Unfortunately during the mid 80’s the struggling Eagles did not give me the hero I was looking for.) Even though I watched the Eagles every Sunday, I still checked the paper the next day to find out how Boomer did. I continued to follow his career after he left the Bengals for NY, and then when he moved to Arizona, and again back to Cincinnati.

During his time with New York my brother was being recruited heavily by Hofstra University, which happened to be where the Jets held training camp. We took a drive up one late summer’s day to visit the school. While walking through the training room I came face to face with my idol. I couldn’t speak; I just stared in disbelief. I finally mustered up some embarrassing greeting and handed him the Esiason jersey I was currently wearing to be signed. To this day that jersey hangs on the wall of my office. Boomer never knew how life changing that day was to me. It was a chance to meet my childhood hero.

Now I never had as many fans as Desean or Boomer…and yes I did pluralize fan…but I think about all the times after a game in which I threw a wristband into the crowd or shook a youngster’s hand. How much of an impact did I make in their lives? My friend Seth Doliboa and I had a young fan in Roanoke that invited us to his birthday party. Since we made little money, we decided to head over for a chance to make his day and for a free meal. He was ecstatic. I am sure he bragged to all his friends in school about how two of the Dazzle players came to his birthday party.


After winning the championship last year in Kosovo, I had slightly more demanding fans. After every season of my professional career it has become a custom to either graciously accept, or steal my playing jersey. I keep them in my closet so that one day when I am limping around the house, I can show my children that my knees used to work properly.

After the clinching game I was swarmed by fans asking for my jersey…and by fans I mean several middle aged men. I declined, telling them that I bring my jerseys home to show my wife. That did not seem to register. The asking soon turned into demanding. I made it back to the locker room with my jersey, only to be followed by the angry persistent fans. Apparently demanding was going to soon cross into petty theft. I figured if I wanted to hold onto this jersey it was coming into the shower with me. Now that jersey hangs in my closet next to all the others…a proud symbol of my patience and resourcefulness.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

HHR Exclusive: Video of Mike Leach Reprimanding Red Raiders at Players-Only Team-Building Event

Details are beginning to trickle our Texas Tech coach Mike Leach ordering Craig James' son Adam "to stand in a dark shed at the Tech football practice facility because he thought James was faking a concussion he'd suffered during practice the previous day."
"Leach had him watched, and when James sat down, Leach had things removed from the shed so he could not sit. Two days later, Leach forced James to stand in a dark room for three hours."

Sources in Lubbuck tell HHR that this is not new behavior for Leach and sent along the following video of a thinner, balder Leach treating underlings in similar manner during a what was supposed to be a friendly holiday get together.




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Sports Media Watch Ranks Patron Saint #3 Biggest Sports Scandal of Decade

From SMW's "Decade in Review: 5 biggest sports media scandals":

#3: Harold Reynolds fired from ESPN (2006)
In July 2006, prominent Baseball Tonight analyst Harold Reynolds was abruptly fired from ESPN.

Reynolds, who had been with ESPN for 11 years, was accused of sexual harassment. "To be honest with you," Reynolds told the New York Post in the immediate aftermath, "I gave a woman a hug and I felt like it was misinterpreted" (ESPN.com, 7/26/06). During an ensuing lawsuit, ESPN told a Hartford courtroom that "five young women had lodged 'concerns' about Reynolds’s sexual behavior" (New York Times, 4/16/08).

The divorce between Reynolds and ESPN grew ugly, with Reynolds filing a wrongful termination lawsuit against the network. At one point, Reynolds accused ESPN of racial bias, bringing up several incidences of sexual misconduct by white employees who were not punished as severely (New York Times, 9/8/07).

Reynolds joined TBS as a baseball analyst in 2008, before eventually landing with MLB Network in 2009.


You can see the complete list HERE.


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Monday, December 28, 2009

2009's Most Forgettable Sports Moments

While many choose to look back at 2009 by highlighting championship performances, scandalous transgressions and overall warm, fuzzy nostalgia, when the history books are written, there will be several happenings this past year that will be forgotten - be it by accident or by selective memory. For perseverance's sake, here's a look at some of the HHR crew's least memorable moments, stories and figures of 2009.

Dale Jr.'s "Breakout" Season

Dale Jr.'s second year at Hendrick Motorsports was supposed to be his breakout year. In 2008, he made the Chase, and this past year he was supposed to contend. Instead, Junior found himself with his worst season in NASCAR, and had to watch from the sidelines as his Hendrick teammates finished 1, 2, 3 in the points standings. A mid-year crew chief change couldn't even ease June Bug's woes.

ACC Football

This year was supposed to be the year for several teams in the ACC. NC State had the ACC's most prolific passer returning, Wake Forest was led by senior signal caller Riley Skinner, VT was Virginia Tech, and Bowden was promising great things as he fought for his job down in Tallahassee. Instead, the ACC struggled all year, losing early games to the likes of William & Mary and never coming close to being in the talk for a National Title contender. Now, the traditionalists' cries for the heads of the guys behind the expansion are growing ever more louder. It was supposed to elevate football in the nation's preeminent basketball conference, right?

Fat College Football Coaches



Apparently, this wasn't the year to be big and on the sidelines with a headset in college. The portly Mark Mangino and the rotund Charlie Weiss both found themselves without a job at the end of the season. While Mangino's dismissal had more to do with his treatment of players than his team's record, Weiss just couldn't eat enough donuts to help the Irish win enough games to keep his job. Surely, Ralph Friedgen's off season diet kept him on the sidelines in College Park, because Maryland's 2-10 record certainly didn't help.

Urban Meyer Resigning at Florida

Quite simply: Proof that the "do-over" rule is alive and well in college athletics.

WNBA's Shock Relocates to Tulsa

You know your league is in trouble when a team wins three championships in the decade and then decides a move from a major sports metro to Tulsa, OK is an upgrade.

Allen Iverson, Memphis Grizzly

"God chose Memphis as the place that I will continue my career. I feel that they are committed to developing a winner." Two months God must've told the Answer to get the hell out of Dodge. Sometimes even God makes mistakes. Either that or he has a helluva sense of humor.

Terrell Owens, Buffalo Bill


While making an initial splash upon signing, TO has since taken backseat to the prospect of the Bills moonlighting in Canada. When all is said and done, it says something when a guy will forever be remembered more for doing sit-ups in his driveway than actually playing for the Buffalo Bills.

The Billy Gillispie Era at UK

Add a new coach (John Calipari), the best player in America (John Wall) and a shiny undefeated record, and it’s hard to believe that the Cats were bounced by Notre Dame in the NIT last year.

The New York Metropolitans

While the team opened a brand new stadium, the cross-city Yankees win the Series over the defending champion/division rival Phillies and fans protest the franchise by forfeiting astronomically-priced season ticket plans, the team looks to rebound in 2010 by signing the likes of Alex Cora, Kelvim Escobar, Henry Blanco, R.A. Dickey and Chris Coste. To add insult to fans' injury, Coste punctuates his signing by reminding NY faithful, "I will always be a Phillie."

Shawne Merriman Performs Lights Out Dance on Tila Tequila

In an incident that was as ridiculous as the bi-sexual reality star's "career," Tila claims "Shawne grabbed her, shook her like a rag doll, threw her down and choked her during an argument last September. Tila says the San Diego Chargers linebacker had a bad temper combined with a drug problem, and that he humiliated her because of her bi-sexuality." Yet, authorities and the public somewhat seem to buy the Charger's claim of acting in the name of being a responsible party host. Charlie Sheen: take note.

We miss anything?


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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sean Rooks, Cadillac Mescallade Among Dozens at Wagner, Chicago State Game Tonight

Cadillac Mescallade sent me this earlier today. As you can see, helluva crowd. Rooks kind of looks like a poor man's Jay Z from this angle.

"Veteran nba backup center sean rooks in the building."

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Ninjas Can Sled Too

The combination of mid-air slow motion and copyright infringement succeed here in making a few teenagers goofing around into what can only be described as an undercover filming of a secret winter ninja training. The only difference being that instead of landing into a pile of bad guys delivering justice with their fists, these guys land in a pile of snow and probably injure themselves. But justice remains intact and secure. That is the ninja way.



via urlesque


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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 15


This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 15 Here.




Our guest this week is The Big Lead's Jason McIntyre.

TBL's combination of news, opinion, media oversight, and pop culture has enabled Jason to position it as one of the most popular independent sports blogs on the web, and parlay it into a full-time career - with a little help from the likes of Jason Whitlock and Colin Cowherd.


He talks about the site's creation and growth, his personal background and the role it's played in TBL's success, and addresses the online tit-for-tat that comes with its success.

In a nod to the site's marriage of sports and entertainment, we've Skyped him up with "Name that Celebrathlete."

This week’s links of interest:


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Waiting For Godunk: On Coaching, the Big Dance and Smelly Frenchmen

My name is Kevin Owens and I have been playing professional basketball for the past six years. I decided to start a blog documenting my daily life. I have a degree in journalism and haven't written anything since college, so I figured why not. I don't particularly think I am that interesting, however when telling people about the traveling circus that is my life, they seem very entertained. I'll be contributing some of those stories once a week here at HHR. You can also now catch me on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk. Hope you enjoy!

------

I have a little confession to make...I have been waiting to go play for a few months now, but I recently turned down several opportunities. I had the chance to workout for a D-League team and was also offered a deal from a PBL (Premier Basketball League) team. I turned them both down because my dream job became available…A chance to join the staff of a local collegiate basketball program. At this point in my career, I feel the need to start looking towards the future. Coaching would be my first choice.

I have been teaching basketball lessons to students of all ages for the past seven years. During that time I have really honed my coaching skills. I’ve worked with quite a few players who have gone on to successful Division I careers. I believe I will make a great coach one day.

However, passing on jobs is a little stressful. I have never been the best decision maker. If I were ever on Let’s Make a Deal I would walk away with a goat every time.

‘Maybe I should take this deal and pass on coaching…Nah, I’m a shoe in.’

‘Perhaps I should retire from basketball and move on with my life…No way, teams will be knocking down my door.’

‘Perchance I shouldn’t invest in AIG…C’mon, They sponsor Man United, their stock will never drop.’


‘Maybe I should not sell my enormous pick-up truck…Nah, What do I need four wheel drive for?…It’s not like we ever get a blizzard in South Jersey.’


Anyway, the main reason I am so enamored with coaching is because of the atmosphere. I love college basketball. There is so much more passion in collegiate athletics than in the pros. When I think back to the most passionate fans I ever played in front of, it has to be from my sophomore year in college…The most enjoyable, rewarding and memorable season of my career.

Let me set the scene for the Monmouth University Hawks 2000-2001 season. We were a proverbial walking-mat for the NEC (Northeast Conference). During the two seasons prior to 1999, we were 4-23 and 5-21. That’s when we developed the nucleus that would take us to the first NCAA tournament appearance of my career.

During the 1999-2000 season, my freshman year, we acquired two transfers named Gerry Crosby and Rahsaan Johnson. We finished 12-16, respectable for the program at the time. During that summer we took a visit to France and Switzerland…and that is when it happened. It was the fourth quarter of a rough and meaningless game between MU and some random French team. We were playing in what felt like a grade school gym in the middle of August.

Gerry Crosby had the ball on the sideline when a large smelly Frenchmen (trust me I was guarding this monster all game) elbowed Gerry directly in the mouth. G retaliated and the benches cleared. Now, I never believed I would be in a brawl. If I did, I guess I envisioned lots of snapping and dancing. However this was intense. It all happened so fast. I remember having an attempted roundhouse kick flung my direction by a surprisingly limber gentleman. I also remember getting a jab in on a guy half my size. The next thing I know we are being dragged off the court by our coaches. In the locker room after that game something changed. We developed a trust. We realized we are not alone…we were all in this together.

We took that attitude into the season and finished with 21 wins, the most regular season wins in school history. We rolled through the playoffs…until the championship game. That night we played St. Francis (NY), with an NCAA tournament bid on the line. You may have watched it on ESPN. It was the game with no fans. We played in front of a raucous crowd of about 200 people. A powerful snowstorm blanketed the east coast making travel conditions a little shaky. Or at least that’s the excuse my roommates gave me.

As the game wound down we found ourselves in a deep hole. Down by over twenty points with less than fourteen minutes remaining we started to mount, what is now known in Monmouth inner circles, as “The Comeback.”

Little by little the lead was chipped away until it was 61-59 with just over a minute remaining. That is when our two leaders took over. Rahsaan drove into the middle of the lane and kicked to Crosby who buried a three giving us a one point lead, and we never looked back.

In the NCAA tournament we drew, quite possibly, the best Duke team in school history. Although we lost, I still maintain the game was much closer then the 95-52 score indicated. In that game I played against two future teammates. Casey Sanders, my teammate in the D-League, and Nick Horvath my teammate and now good friend, in New Zealand. It’s funny how small the world is when you are seven feet tall.

I was reminded of the Monmouth team this week by a posting on Facebook. It’s amazing how different everyone’s lives are now, but how strong the bonds still remain. I still pop in the highlight tape of “the comeback” every once in a while…or when I can find a VCR that still works.

Who would have thought a seven foot Frenchman would have impacted our lives so drastically. If I could meet this man now, I probably would shake his hand…or offer him some soap.

RIP Jay Dooley…teammate, friend, champion


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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

From the DC Bureau: Blue's Christmas Present To The HHR Universe

This time of year is all about giving and so in the spirit I give to the HHR universe a gift that will keep on giving and one that you could share with all of your best friends. It can be accomplished with three easy clicks of the mouse.

Step 1: Turn up the volume on your computer.
Step 2: Click here.
Step 3: Click here.
Step 4: Mute the window on step 3 and watch.
Step 5: Smile.

Merry Christmas everyone,

Your boy,


PS Blue's holiday challenge: Beat the above combo in the comments section and win your very own stand alone post on HHR.


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Monday, December 21, 2009

Midgets vs. Mascots

I love this time of year but I hate that February is just around the corner. Why? Worst time for sports. After the Super Bowl fans count the days until pitchers and catchers. No sport has ever survived the long winter days either. Arena league. Slamball. Shooting passing car windows with pellet guns. All duds.

Now, you give me something interesting like Midgets vs. Mascots and I'm not moving off the couch until spring.



Fine, it's just a movie but why can't it be a weekly competition. Each week a different competition until a final champion is crowned. Almost like an American Gladiators type shot. You're thinking about the possibilities aren't you sicko.

If you want to learn more about the Midgets vs. Mascots movie, check the official website.

If you want to start brainstorming midget games, shoot us an email.

Ohhh.....midget figure skating. I like.


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Friday, December 18, 2009

It's hard to see she is crying when she spends her days in water


Oh it's so God damn hard being a single, hot 21-year-old Olympic swimmer. After hospice workers and the guys that empty Port-O-Johns, this broad has it the worst.

ALL Australia's sexiest swimmer Stephanie Rice wants for Christmas is a new boyfriend. But the 21-year-old triple Olympic gold medallist said finding love was tough. In a revealing interview with The Daily Telegraph, Rice told of how her life spiralled out of control after the Beijing Olympics, leading her to dump her management team International Quarterback and take control of her own affairs. After her stunning Olympics success, she was publicly linked to American swimming superstar Michael Phelps, bad boy Aussie swimmer Nick D'Arcy, Sydney rugby league star David "Wolfman" Williams and long-time training partner Brendan Capell.

Spiraled out of control! She was spotting dating and enjoying herself! It was a nightmare the average person could only hope to avoid.

Not to make a silly pun, but could you expand the dating pool just a little Steph. Stop dating swimmers and athletes and broaden your horizons. You should start hanging out at blogging conventions, flirting on Twitter, or meet me at the Arby's in one hour.

If you must date a swimmer, I'd try and hit the pool at a different hour. Senior Citizen swim is 7 a.m. sharp. That isn't a wacky noodle between his legs. Well it is but not the type you're thinking of.

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Right Brain Fantasy Report: What to do with Father Time aka Brett Favre

HHR Failed to make the playoffs, but for your entertainment, we'll keep posting Dewey's rants. You can check out his breakdown every Thursday at Yardbarker's Right Brain Fantasy Report.




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Have A Wicked Hahd-Coah Christmas, Guy.

My guess is this is what every single Christmas carol sounds like to Tawmmy from Quinzee.



It takes a minute or two to drop the first of the Pats/C's/SAWX! references, but what do you expect when a Boston-centric video is performed by a guy in a Cincinnati Reds Hat. OW-AH SINGLE LETTAH HATS ARE MO-AH TIMELESS THAN ANY OTHAHS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!


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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dan LeBatard Would Prefer You Pick on Someone Else

There was plenty to laugh at during the ESPN premiere of Billy Corben's "The U."

Among them was Fat Mike Francessa bemoaning the 'Canes attitude while squinting through glasses the size of windshields. There was Jerrome Brown's bedazzled hat. There was a pre-Rock, D Lineman Dwayne Johnson hamming it up with the boys on the sideline. But hey, it was the 80's. Looking foolish came with the decade.

What then, is 2009 Dan LeBatard's excuse? The chubbly scribe channeled his inner Jon Gosselin and sported a tattoo/graffiti/logo tee-shirt and hat as his on-camera wardrobe for the documentary.

Not Artie Lange.
(Via @adamhanover)

Apparently, we weren't the only one's who noticed the ill-fated attempt to look hip.

'Tard felt the need to tweet this sharp-tongued retort to fashion critics:


Adding, "lots to mock today....my awful debut as a thespian in a play....my outfit on tv in the u documentary...."


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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 14


This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 14 Here.




Lucas returns and so does Skyped Up.

Our guest this week is ESPN.com columnist, First Take regular and Twitter superstar Jemele Hill.


Known for her frankness, online accessibility and iron-clad stomach that puts up with Skip Bayless on a regular basis, we ask her about all three of those things, as well as her climb up the professional ladder, the hurdles of being a female sports journalist in a male-dominated environment and get her take on the "best of 2009."

She names-names on her daily blog reads and favorite Tweeters. A Motor City native and a diehard Tigs fan, we Skype her up with "Name that Tiger."

This week's links of interest:


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Cadillac Mescallade: Wall Above All

I knew when college basketball season started there would be interesting stories everywhere. Monmouth's early win over the Isiah Thomas led FIU team to help christen the MAC in West Long Branch, New Jersey, Rider dropping Mississippi State to start their year, UCLA just self destructing in the non-conference slate, Syracuse erasing their pre-season loss to LeMoyne to prove they are in fact very good, just to name a few. But the most exciting thing thus far for me has been the University of Kentucky and their freshman superstar John Wall. I know I'm just the latest to hype the guy who will easily be the top pick in next year's NBA Draft if he chooses to leave, but if you haven't seen UK game, find a television that is showing one and enjoy.

Wall is a combination of everything that we see in players who are emerging as true stars at the college level; ball-handling, shooting, explosiveness, and the clutch factor. The guy was saddled with a ton of hype before he ever hit the court at Rupp Arena and all he did to validate it was drop the game winner in the second game of the season over Miami (OH). Fueled by outstanding efforts in front of a national audience in wins over North Carolina and UConn (at MSG), the Wildcats continue to roll, most recently hammering Indiana by double figures on the road.

John Wall is far from a finished product, he was just 4-11 for 11 points in the win over IU, and at times he might rush things a bit offensively, but in a game where everyone is looking for potential at the next level this guy is overflowing. His deceiving leaping ability is what might be most amazing. Two early plays in the win over North Carolina where Wall just kept rising to the rim for a jam on a fast break, only to be followed by an acrobatic layup help to illustrate some of what he can do.

See here:



In the win over UConn, his back and forth with Kemba Walker was the stuff usually saved for March Madness, which makes the thought of March Madness all that more exciting. Much like Kevin Durant with Texas a few years back and Greg Oden with Ohio State, this heralded freshman is surrounded by a solid group of teammates. Fellow freshman Eric Bledsode and veteran big man Patrick Patterson will keep UK in every game where Wall doesn't shine. Which likely means we should all be getting a chance to see a lot of more of #11 in the blue and white come this year's Big Dance.


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I Plead The Tide, Yahonnah

After first reading this motion of continuance I found it hilarious, but now I'm unsure about its relative uniqueness. Considering how popular the Tide is in Alabama, and how often residents of Alabama are in court, you'd think something like this comes through the system every other day, wouldn't you?

I'm also not ruling out that the Defendent is EDSBS. Judge for yourself.

Here it is in its entirety:

This motion was filed yesterday in Jefferson County, Alabama. Enjoy. And, obviously, Roll Tide!

MOTION TO CONTINUE

Comes now Jon B. Terry, as one of the attorneys for the Defendants and would move to continue the current trial setting of January 4, 2010 and as grounds therefore would aver as follows:

1. This case was set for trial several months ago before certain monumental events occurred that were beyond the anticipation of the attorneys and the clients.

2. Since the setting of this case, one of the two great college football teams in this State has reached levels on a national scale that have not been enjoyed by any team in this State in 17 years next preceding the date hereof.

3. Currently, one of the two great teams in this State are playing for a national championship and has enjoyed an undefeated season and clinched the SEC Title Game.

4. Most of the attorneys representing all of the named Defendants have tickets and reservations to be in Pasadena on the 6th day of January, 2010, which date would conflict with the trial date as travel times and schedules for the game overlap the trial as currently set.

5. In fact, the Honorable Jim Lloyd has children that live in the area and is scheduled to be with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide's success.

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs. Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

7. In checking with your Honor's Office, it was determined that there are potential quick dates available during March, the only known conflict being that Jim Lloyd has recently been elected President of the Birmingham Bar and must attend a conference on March 10-12. Other than that, the Defendants can be ready to be first out during any available week for trial during the month of February, March, or April and believe that there would be no harm, considering the magnitude of this event and its impact on this State, and the fact such an event only comes infrequently during a person's lifetime and is an achievement of such a magnitude that all involved in this litigation should want everyone to fully participate in this achievement.

8. It is also understood that many of the witness involved are trying to acquire tickets to the game and/or scheduled to be at the game in Pasadena on January 7th and certainly any juror selected to participate will likely be preoccupied and not able to devote their full attention to the case before them during the week of January 4, 2010, and therefore, the parties would be prejudiced by the distraction caused by such a major event of such significant importance to so many people in this State.

9. ROLL TIDE!! (although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated.

______/s/ Jon B. Terry________________

JON B. TERRY
OF COUNSEL:
BAINS & TERRY

via Above The Law


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Waiting For Godunk: I'm Tall, I Get It.


My name is Kevin Owens and I have been playing professional basketball for the past six years. I decided to start a blog documenting my daily life. I have a degree in journalism and haven't written anything since college, so I figured why not. I don't particularly think I am that interesting, however when telling people about the traveling circus that is my life, they seem very entertained. I'll be contributing some of those stories once a week here at HHR. You can also now catch me on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk. Hope you enjoy!

------

Well the Holiday Season is here and that means one thing...More people to stare at me whenever I walk more then ten feet from my front door. I don’t understand how I can live in basically the same area my entire life, but still be treated like I am some sort of mythological beast. What is wrong with you people? I am tall, I get it. I’ve been that way for my entire adult life. Coming up and telling me I am tall only reiterates a point that I am all too familiar with.

January through November, I usually deal with a significant amount of idiots who have some witty comment they have been saving for a tall person like myself. But once December hits, the remarks triple. There’s no way to avoid it. I, like every other person, have to run errands and do my Christmas shopping. That is when I am confronted by the drones of society about my height, either in a positive or unbearably annoying way.

Here was a basic conversation from my recent trip to the grocery store...

Myself: Sara, (my wife) I’ll run over and get the eggs.

Ignorant Observer: Holy F***in Sh*t!! (In front of his kids) You are tall as sh*t.

Myself: yea…
Ignorant Observer: How tall are you?

Myself: I’m 7 feet.

Ignorant Observer: Daaaaamn!!! Hold on...stick your hand straight up in the air.

Myself: Why?

Ignorant Observer: Man, I want to see how tall you are.

Myself: I just told you…Why do I have to lift my arm?

Ignorant Observer: Let me try to jump and slap your hand…

(After several unsuccessful attempts we move along with the conversation.)

Ignorant Observer: Do you play ball?

Myself: Yes.

Ignorant Observer: For who?

Myself: I’m still shopping for a team now.

Ignorant Observer: In the store?

Myself: umm…sure
Ignorant Observer: You should play for the Sixers…they suck.

Myself: I definitely wouldn’t say they suck

Ignorant Observer: Man they’re terrible…

Myself: OK, give them a call.

Ignorant Observer: Hell Yea!! I’m gonna call their ass!

Myself: Terrific

(I wonder if he ever called…Judging by the fact that my phone still hasn’t rang I am guessing he didn’t.)

Stimulating conversations like these seem to be the norm for my life. Only a few people truly understand how annoying this is. They include tall people or family members and friends of tall people. No one else can fully understand the mind numbing conversations I am forced to partake in everyday, until they walk along side of me in a crowded place. That’s when you see how the world reacts to height.

Some people stare without trying to get caught. Some just gawk. Some try to comment in a different language. (I know what alto means…You’re speaking Spanish not some cryptic code, geniuses.)

Some people mean mug me, others prefer to laugh. I don’t really understand the laughter. I guess they are trying to insult me, but I’m not going to feel bad about myself because a 32 year old guy shopping with his mom and wearing an “I Heart Jabba the Hut” T-shirt just giggled at me.

Whichever way people attempt to interact with me, the one question that I dread answering is, “Where do you play?” It is tough because I currently have no answer for it. For most of my life I would have been able to tell them exactly where I was playing. But for now I usually tell them “overseas” and hope they don’t know enough about basketball to realize the season is nearly halfway over. So with that said, I think I will be finishing my Christmas shopping online this year.


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Monday, December 14, 2009

Former Blazer (and Net and Sun and Knick and Cav) Chris Dudley Running for Governor of Oregon

Jon Runyan isn't the only jock throwing his name into Republican politics.

Connecticut native and former journeyman NBA center Chris Dudley (whose grandfather was U.S. ambassador to Denmark under the Nixon and Ford administrations) has done everything short of announcing his bid for the Republican nomination for governor in Oregon.

To pave the way for his announcement, Dudley is using YouTube to introduce himself to voters. Oregonians can only hope he's a better politicians than he was a free throw shooter.








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Friday, December 11, 2009

Billy Dee Williams Quits Hawking Colt 45 in Lieu of Tiger Woods Mistress Commemorative Plates




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Contest: The Tiger Name Game

Everyone knows that Tiger implored his mistresses to "Take [their] Name off [their] Phone."

On the Today show this morning
, mistress #4, Jamie Jungers, noted that Tiger also asked that she take HIS name off their phone:

"He said he loved spending time with me, would love to get to know me more, and he gave me his phone number and told me to save it in a different name in case I lost the phone."

HHR has come up with 11 names (one for each mistress) that would have thrown phone-finders off his trail. If you can top them, we'll ship you off a PS3 or XBox360 copy of Namco's Tekken 6, which features an Elin Woods lookalike who packs a wallop.

See if you can top these aliases. Winner will be chosen on Monday. The only rule is to make us laugh.
  1. Eldrick Tont
  2. John Gosselin
  3. Sean Salisbury
  4. Eliot Spitzer
  5. John Daly
  6. Jesse Katsololis
  7. The Situation
  8. Nick Papageorgio
  9. Chris Illuminati
  10. Roy McAvoy
  11. Fred Garvin




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Separated at Birth: Revenge of the Nerd

Long before Fox college hoops analyst Mike Gminski morphed into Ricky Bobby, he was a dead ringer for a young Ted McGinley.


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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 14

What a long strange trip it's been. Some of you are celebrating the fact that your team had a good season. Others (including myself) are left to rehash a more "challenging" season. We’ve suffered through a lot of bad football this year, but the last week did a lot to kind of redeem the season. Some great games with wild endings. Cincinnati and Pitt battling back and forth for a Sugar Bowl bid. An offensive lineman making the winning score for Fresno State. And Texas advancing to the national championship by winning the first ever 60 minute and 1 second-long football game. I’ll have my end-of-the-year wrap-up and Cynic’s Awards coming soon, but I wanted to give just a few final comments on the week that was.

1. Random thought: With the firings of Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino, what does that do to the collective Body Mass Index of the coaching profession?

Note to self: Hit the treadmill immediately after posting.

2. That wailing and gnashing of teeth you hear in the middle of the country is coming from Missouri fans disgusted with the Big 12 bowl selection process, which allows affiliated bowls to choose a bowl-eligible team rather than taking the available team with the best record. In this case, 8-4 Missouri got passed up by the Insight Bowl in favor of 6-6 Iowa State. Nine years ago, Cyclones fans flocked to Tucson by the thousands, and Insight Bowl officials are obviously hoping for a repeat performance. But for Mizzou, the Insight’s move dropped them all the way down to the Texas Bowl against Navy. While Houston has its pluses, and it can’t hurt for recruiting in Texas, a trip to the Big 12’s last place bowl tie-in instead of sunny Arizona isn’t the post-season reward the Tigers were expecting.

This is the best news in Ames since Gene Chizik left for Auburn.

3. Stat of the Week: In last week’s Big 12 Championship Game, Ndamukong Suh had more yardage in sacks and tackles for loss than Husker QBs had passing.

Suh’s shown he can find the end zone. Maybe the Huskers should’ve started him at quarterback.

4. For anyone who didn’t see the ending of last week’s Fresno State/Illinois game, you owe it to yourself to check out one of the wildest endings to a game this—or any other—season.




5. I’ve cast my Heisman ballot and I don’t really have much of a problem with the final five who made the cut. But am I the only one a little surprised that no wide receivers are getting any love this year? It’s not like Golden Tate and Mardy Gilyard were chopped liver.

Mmmmm. Wideout.

6. A Facebook page for fans of Tim Tebow crying has gained over 64,000 fans in four days.

I’m guessing these guys aren’t fans.

7. Last week, Oklahoma State University president Burns Hargis announced that he was pulling OSU out of an NIH-funded research study of a new anthrax vaccine. The tests would have been conducted on baboons, which would then be euthanized. What does this have to do with football? Just this—Madeleine Pickens, the wife of OSU sugar daddy T. Boone Pickens, is a big animal rights activist who recently pulled a $5 million donation to the OSU veterinary program. While Hargis denies any connection, I think we can connect the dots on this one. So let this be a lesson to your athletic department—while it might be nice having someone write you checks with a whole bunch of zeroes, that kind of money always comes with strings
attached.

In a related story, a University of Oregon graduate student mysteriously went missing last week after submitting a paper on human rights abuses and the use of child labor by multinational clothing conglomerates.

8. If Army upsets Navy on Saturday, the Black Knights will play Temple in the Eagle Bank Bowl. You read that right. Army. Temple. Bowl game.

Camo uniforms = bowl bid. Mark it down.

9. But which is more surprising—that Army and Temple could make a bowl, period? Or that USC and Oklahoma would end up in the Emerald Bowl and Sun Bowl, respectively?

I have friends who went to Oklahoma. Christmas shopping? Done.

10. The NCAA is reportedly investigating Tennessee for recruiting violations involving using hookers, um, I mean Tiger’s exes, um, I mean “student hostesses” to lure potential recruits. Wait, a college using the promise of cheap sex with hot co-eds as an incentive to come to campus? Man, when I enrolled in college, all I got was a map of the campus and a free t-shirt.

Note to self #2: Be reincarnated as a Vols recruit.

For the majority of you, your favorite teams will be playing in a bowl game, so stick around for more the next few weeks. For the rest of you, well, there’s always basketball season.


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Separated at Birth: Meathead & Meth-head

Dana White & Andre Agassi

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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 13


This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 13 Here.



Lucas is South of the border this week, so we get a pinch hit from HHR co-founder @ChrisIlluminati.

Chris has a harem of sites that we talk about, but also will soon be a published author with his NSFW-titled A**holeology that's due out in January.


Our guest is MetsBlog.com's Matthew Cerrone. Matthew is a full-time blogger who, despite an advertising agreement between the site and the New York sports cable station SNY, fully owns his product with complete editorial control over content.

Cerrone talks about how he was able to turn what started as a hobby and a way to follow his team when living out of market into his full-time job. We also talk about the Mets' prospects for this coming season and their focus during the current Winter Meetings.

This week’s links of interest:


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Tiger and Elin's Story - eHarmonious.com

From our friends at Wondershot Productions (who produced the BwB 2.0 intro video):




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Waiting for Godunk: Losing Control

My name is Kevin Owens and I have been playing professional basketball for the past six years. I decided to start a blog documenting my daily life. I have a degree in journalism and haven't written anything since college, so I figured why not. I don't particularly think I am that interesting, however when telling people about the traveling circus that is my life, they seem very entertained. I'll be contributing some of those stories once a week here at HHR. You can also now catch me on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk. Hope you enjoy!

------

So I was lying in bed last night (Pause for obligatory female screaming ala Lance Harbor in Varsity Blues), and I was trying to figure out how I can get this train back on the right track. Then I became sidetracked thinking of how cool the nickname “Train” would be, and how I can get it to stick.

Anyway, I eventually realized that the reason waiting for a basketball job is so stressful, besides the obvious, is that I have no control. I tell myself everyday that I control my destiny. I repeat it to myself in the gym when I don’t want to do another rep. I tell it to myself when I am running and don’t want to go another mile. However I have started to realize that as a professional basketball player in my current situation...I have no control.

The people in control of my life now are my agent and the endless rabble of European coaches and general mangers that constantly inquire about me but don’t pull the trigger. I realize that I can do nothing else at this point to impress them. My time to prove myself has passed. They now know what I can do and what they are getting. Even when they are told how hard I am working, they probably don’t care. They are being told the same thing by the countless number of other agents they are speaking to. Most of the players I am competing against went to well-known basketball colleges. As I have figured out, that apparently matters more than talent. It’s a very superficial world we are living in.

Coming out of college I was a relatively unknown player. I finished my career at Monmouth University and, although I was not a superstar, I was, as my mother told me,"important to the team." I think that’s her nice way of saying that we would not have come in 5th place in the NEC had I not been there. Now that I think of it, maybe that was an insult.

Note to self: Call mom, ask her to explain herself!

I was drafted late in the 2003 NBDL Draft. As mentioned in older posts, I was not the strongest. I quickly learned how important muscles were. We had quite a few centers in training camp, including my brother. They all were stronger than me. I looked like someone’s kid brother out there...oh wait, I was. But I came to practice everyday with a confident attitude. Not only did I make the team but I ended up playing in a league which is one step away from the NBA, for three years.

I then moved my act overseas. I played in Australia, New Zealand, Korea, Poland and Kosovo. In all these locations I went deep into the playoffs, or won the championship. All except Korea...Details to follow in future blog.

I am also what I like to call a "class act." I never tested positive for drugs or was involved in an altercation. I just came to work everyday ready to go. I remember a few teammates of mine who were the exact opposite. One teammate I played with used to come to practice nearly an hour late reeking of alcohol from the night before. I averaged more points and rebounds than him. Yet, he currently has a job playing. Another teammate failed a drug test twice. He is also currently playing. Another teammate was thrown out of team meetings and practice numerous times for having a bad attitude. And yup, you guessed it…he is currently playing. Damn. If only I had lived it up. I could currently be a jerk and an alcoholic, but at least I would have a job.

It all comes down to this. I think I have proven myself to be a reliable asset for several different teams. Now, am I better then every player overseas right now? No. But I feel like I am definitely better than most. So how do I separate myself from the pack? When I figure out the answer to that question I probably won’t be waiting anymore.

I need to figure out how to gain the control back in my life. I guess my recent transaction could be a start. I recently started substitute teaching in a local school. This would be a lot less embarrassing had Eastbound and Down not been such a hit. But as always I have to live by my eternal motto…

"Do as Tony Danza does."


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