Monday, February 1, 2010

PreGaming with Craig - Super Bowl Week!

This week, the biggest names of the NFL are all in Miami to indulge in the spectacle, pageantry, nightlife, and majesty of the Super Bowl. Judging by craigslist, it also coincides with the 2010 Deviant and Depraved Creepshow Conference, also being held in town. How else to explain sudden spike of lowlifes trolling craigslist in Miami? Type 'Super Bowl' into Casual Encounters (for research purposes only or unless you are Santonio Holmes), and what you get appears to be either every NFL player trying to score some tail, or more likely an assortment of NFL lookalikes trying to sneak into the pleasure buffet. And then there's... Well, ummmm. These people:

Ready to get wild
Absolutely nothing about this post, title included, suggests things will get wild. Not an exclamation point to be had anywhere. C'mon man, just because there is a picture of you shirtless drinking and driving a boat does not entitle you to being termed 'wild.' It does however grant you the moniker of "Gross Boozebag."

Dancers needed for special Superbowl events
If I am an agent, the last person I want my client hanging around during the runup to the SuperBowl is Trick Daddy.

You deserve a weekend on a yacht
This has 'multiple homicide' written all over it.

37 Y/O PROFEESIONAL LOOKING FOR MATURE WOMAN FOR SUPER BOWL WEEKEND!
The question one asks here is why would Kurt Warner shave only a year off his age?

(((NEEDED((((SUPER BOWL TICKETS WANTED))))NEEDED)))
Get your tickets from someone suffering a multiple personality disorder!

Want to take wife to Super Bowl for 15th Anniv.
This guy never actually says he wants to take HIS wife, just "wife." Plus he opens by identifying himself as a "Policeman's brother," so you know you are doing your part to support first responders. Or at least their sad, awkward brothers who have no identity of their own. The good news is he is also "negotiable." (but not according to his wife).

for trade 2 taylor swift floor tickets for 2 superbowl tickets
Whoever gives up their Super Bowl tickets for 2 Taylor Swift tickets deserves to have Pete Townsend smash a guitar into their trachea during halftime.

MINK COAT AND SUPER BOWL= HAPPY WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND
This person is a math genius. Plus having a nice mink coat is a great distraction when your wife asks how the yacht rental turned out.


Follow us on Twitter
@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

1 comment:

Nicholas Brody said...

Musandam Khasab is great place to have Dinner.