Lebron Wars: The Rap Video

But it's gonna be the Clips that pass the test
Take his mom far away from Delonte West

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

To quote Kenny Powers "You're f&*!n OUT!"

File this one under "one of this things does not match the others."


--Blue Pulaski reporting live from the Boston Celtics' dancer tryouts.

Ed. Note: Blue has very high standards and an exceptionally keen eye for large keisters.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Phillie Phanatic Phlies His Phreak Phlag

From our friends at Sportress of Blogitude (via The 700 Level):

I’m not entirely sure exactly what was going on between the Phillie Phanatic and Slider, the Indians mascot, during last night’s game between the Phillies and the Indians – unfortunately, the course “Expressions of Sexual Dominance in Major League Baseball Mascots” was not offered at the institute of higher learning I attended – but I can say for certain that it probably was not appropriate for the youngsters in attendance. Or the adults for that matter.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Kenny "The Jet" Smith Talks Draft, Free Agency and Worldwide Wes with Cadillac Mescallade

With the NBA Draft tipping off tonight in New York City, TNT NBA analyst and former NBA guard Kenny "the Jet" Smith was kind of enough to spend a few minutes with HHR. Kenny is in the news for a tongue-in-cheek petition to reinstate the two dollar bill to coincide with Taco Bell's $2 Meal Deals.

We all know what Charles Barkley has done for the "box that rocks" with Taco Bell. Kenny jokingly assured us he isn't following in Charles' footsteps, because if that were the case there might not be any $2 meals left.

We touched on a wide variety of NBA topics, and here's what Jet had to say.

On the chemistry of he and Charles Barkley Inside the NBA...
It just kind of naturally happens, it's like when you have friend, you have chemistry with him or you don't. It's nothing that we plan or plot, I think we are so enthusiastic about the game of basketball which leads to good conversation. Once you lead to good conversation it leads to good television.

On John Wall's best attribute or skillset...
I think he has alot of skill sets and I don't know if he has one that is best. His infectious way of playing, I think that is going to carry him a long way in the point guard position

Free agency, how much movement?
There's gonna be movement for sure, there are too many great players available and when you have that many loaded up with free agency I don't think your gonna have a consistent 7-8 guys staying at home and staying with the teams they play on, I think there will be 7-8 guys that might move over to somewhere, there will be about 7-8 players that will move.

As a New York guy, where is Lebron headed, possible to the Knicks?
(Laughs) I think Lebron James has been playing it close to the vest for the last two months and we are all waiting in the wings to figure it out. I don't think anyone has the upper hand or any team has a clear advantage.

If not Lebron, who is good for NY?
When you don't make the playoffs there is no one guy or two guys that you don't need. They're in a position of having a need in all areas.

His career in free agency, how did it compare to these days...
Well I think its a different era in terms of that. By the time I was a free agent I was in my fifth year, my decision was based solely on what players they had there, period. It had nothing to do with as much financially, everything was going to be about the same financially so it was all about the players that were there and would we have a chance to win an NBA championship and could I be a part of that puzzle.

Evolution of NBA Draft, any changes since his time (Smith was the 6th overall pick in 1987)?
The draft hasn't changed, it's still exciting stuff for players and family are involved, its an opportunity that people get to be a part of and its always exciting

Worldwide Wes, is he that well connected as articles and news pieces report?
Some of it's fact, some it's fiction. It's like the fish...how big is the fish you caught? There are a lot of guys in basketball, Wes included, that have been an integral part in helping guys guide their carers. He's no different form the rest. Lately the players he's been involved with have been better players. There are guys that are involved with 7th and 8th man on the team they just haven't been the best players. It's just a great cycle for him in terms of the guys he's involved with are very good players and now he's parlayed that into representing coaches.

William Wesley with LeBron James. (Paul Sancya/Associated Press)

Knicks back in playoffs?
It all depends on this summer, until we see what they have after July, then we'll know when they can make the playoffs or not.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Video: US Soccer Hooligans Riot in Midtown Manhattan

Following the US's 1-0 victory over Algeria today, American soccer hooligans - all 27 of them worldwide - took to the streets of New York to riot in celebration. Actually, "riot" is a little strong a word. They merely sang show tunes and jumped around.

HHR's man on the street @cmatthews58 documented it for eternal preservation.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Separated at Birth: Tony Clifton...Colombian Kingpin, Soccer Enthusiast

ESPN's 30 For 30 series just keeps getting better and better. Just when I thought The U starring Dan LeBatard's lack of fashion sense could never be topped, Run Ricky Run and the Juiced up June 17, 1994 blew it away.

Last night's The Two Escobars is the best yet and reminded the world of a time when you just didn't f*ck with Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman f*cked with you.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Preserving History: Kobe's Legacy Over Shaddowed by that of Woody and Buzz

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

Can Kobe not get any respect? Much ado was made about the chip on his shoulder in the Finals due to memories of raucous Celtics fans in 2008 attacking the LA bus after the C's knocked off the Lakers, that year. There was also the apparent bitterness he felt over LeBron being awarded the MVP this year only to see an early exit in the post season. Now, there's no telling what sort of vendetta Kobe will look to avenge when he realizes most major media outlets are overshadowing his latest championship with the frenzy over the release of Toy Story 3.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

David Lee Would Like You to Enjoy a Cool, Refreshing T&T

Last night, New York Knick David Lee attended a party to celebrate Charles Tanqueray’s 200th Anniversary. Jeff from Project Spurs caught up with the pending free agent for a quick Q&A.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

How to Bowl Like a Sportsblogger

When Jordan Hill took us bowling and showed off some Lebowski-esque skills (just your standard nonchalant behind-the-back-through-the-legs roll. No biggie), Lucas also took the opportunity to show off a trick shot of his own. The "Sportsblogger Shot" leverages the specific contours of the Sportsblogger's body type/hunch, to maximize both accuracy and irony.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Blackhawks Get (Cuervo) Platinum Treatment

Our friends at Diageo sent us heads up that the entire Chicago Blackhawks team was gifted with custom-made bottles of Jose Cuervo Tequila to celebrate their recent Stanley Cup victory.

The sweet, smooth taste of victory

Still reeling from their recent victory, Brian “Soupy” Campbell and his teammates toasted to their Stanley Cup victory with the world’s best-tasting silver tequila. In honor of their legendary win, Campbell gifted each one of his teammates with a custom-made bottle of Jose Cuervo Platino.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football: Big 12(10) Winners and Losers

Well, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth about the impending Armageddon of conference realignment, the bomb has finally dropped and we’re left with, well, pretty much what we already had. Nebraska moved to the Big 10. Colorado and (reportedly) Utah will be heading to the Pac-10. And Mountain West teams will soon be heading to the Smurf Turf of Boise State. But other than that, it all turned out to be much ado about nothing. But that doesn’t mean we can’t engage still in a little snap judgment. With that, here are (in no particular order) the Big 12(10) Winners and Losers in the expansion fiasco.

WINNERS

1. Texas. The big winners in all of this. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it’s hard not to respect the piece of Machiavelliangenius that Texas just pulled off. The Longhorns successfully managed to dupe the Pac-10, (most of) the rest of the Big 12 and the national sports media. And what did they get?

• A potential new TV deal that will pay them even more.
• Nine other schools now completely at the Longhorns’ mercy.
• Making the five schools that didn't have a BCS conference invite sign over their share of the Nebraska and Colorado buyout money.
• An even greater revenue disparity to their benefit.
• Their own TV network.
  
• A conference schedule that will, in all likelihood, put them just one game away from a shot at the national title every year.

In other words, everything they wanted from the beginning and then some. Rob Oller of the Columbus Dispatch put it best: “No one can say Horns never play anyone. They just played everyone.”

Forget the World Series of Poker. DeLoss Dodds is the real Texas Hold ‘Em Champion.

2. The Big 12 Teams Not Named Texas (Short-Term). If Dan Beebe can pull off his miracle TV deal he claims he can get, the TV package for all the schools will grow significantly. More importantly, the remaining Big 12 schools that didn’t have BCS conference invites are spared the indignity of having to beg the Mountain West or the MAC for membership.

3. The Big 10. They add one of the most successful programs in NCAA history that brings in big TV numbers. They finally get a conference championship game for a big money payday. And, by not jumping the gun to super-conference status right now, they leave themselves some wiggle room for Notre Dame future expansion.

4. Nebraska. Tom Osborne proved to be prophetic. Whether you agree with his opinion of them or not, it’s true that everything he lamented in the conference—the shifting of power to Texas, the unequal revenue distribution, the lack of a Big 12 network, etc.—not only will continue under the new Big 12, but appear to be getting even worse. For good or bad, the culture of the conference simply isn’t what it once was. Nebraska had become an outsider in its own conference and the move to the Big Ten was a natural one. Yes, the extra money ($22-$25 million instead of the $10 million they made in the Big 12) and the chance to leave Texas behind are nice, but perhaps even more important the move gives the Cornhuskers the stability and egalitarian culture lacking in the Big 12.

“What can I say, I TRIED to warn them.”

5. Chip Brown, Orangebloods.com. Yes, it seems a little slimy when a site trolling for subscribers and serving as a mouthpiece for the biggest player in all this is the one breaking the stories. And, sure, those stories weren’t always accurate (he broke both the report that Texas was joining the Pac-10 and that Texas was staying with the Big 12). But over the last week, he’s had ESPN eating out of his hand and become a household name with football geeks waiting on pins and needles for his next Tweet.

What do Chip’s sources say today?

6. Pot dealers. When Colorado and California get together for their first Pac-10 meeting, there may not be enough dope, tie dye or Phish cover bands to go around.

Tailgating in Boulder

7. Stewart Mandel, Sports Illustrated. The man predicted Nebraska’s move—three years ago.

8. The Red River Rivalry. With Nebraska out of the picture and no conference championship game, the annual Oklahoma/Texas shootout becomes a de facto conference title game and very likely a play-in game for a BCS title shot.

One of the biggest games in college football gets even bigger. Plus it has corn dogs.

9. T. Boone Pickens. Without having to compete with Phil Knight, Pickens can maintain his status as the biggest spender in the conference.

Lord Boone mingling with the commoners.

10. Arizona and Arizona State. Under the proposed Pac-10 expansion discussions, the Wildcats and Sun Devils would have been put in a western division with the six new schools from the Big 12. In other words, they would have to play Texas and Oklahoma every year. Now they can breathe a sigh of relief and still hold on to that pipe dream of making it back to the Rose Bowl
someday. Plus, Bob and Mike Stoops don't have to worry about those awkward family reunions.

LOSERS

1. The Big 12 Teams Not Named Texas (Long-Term). This whole process showed one thing. Texas is the king, and everybody else in the conference exists for the sole purpose of doing the Longhorns bidding. If there was any doubt about who the top program in college athletics is, it’s over now. While the smaller schools in the conference are breathing a sigh of relief right now, I wouldn’t get too comfortable. The only reason the Big 12 exists today is because, right now, it is in Texas’ best interest. But the Longhorns won’t commit to anything long term (another reason Nebraska wanted out—UT refused to commit to anything past 2016), so the conference may be right back in this same position a few years from now when the new TV deal runs out. Texas is looking out for Texas. Period. And if the revenue doesn’t come in like projected or they think they can cut a better deal somewhere else, the rest of the Big 12 will all be scrambling for new homes.

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

2. Missouri. The Tigers have had their bags packed for months, not even trying to conceal their love affair with the Big 10. So to get stranded at the altar in favor of Nebraska had to sting quite a bit. Plus, they’re now stuck with a new TV deal where the revenue disparity will be even bigger than before and they have to play both Texas and Oklahoma every year. While they have to hold out hope that the Big 10 may expand somewhere down the line, the uncertainty of their immediate future has to have Mizzou hating life.

“I want to go to the Big Ten THIS much.”

3. Colorado’s Short-Term Future. Colorado tried to get ahead of the curve by jumping to the Pac-10, expecting the Big 12 to dissolve behind them. Because it didn’t, the Buffs are now on the hook for approximately $9 million over the next two years in lost revenue they owe back to the Big 12 as punishment for leaving.

And you thought CU fans were upset when they couldn’t come up with the money to buy out Dan Hawkins.

4. Oklahoma’s Self-Respect. The Sooners’ marching band is called the Pride of Oklahoma. After this week’s developments, they may have to rethink that. For some inexplicable reason, OU Athletic Director Joe Castiglione kept finding ways to reiterate the fact that the Sooners would go wherever Texas went. While that move might (and I emphasize might) have been in OU’s best interest (at least in the short term), did it really help to paint the Sooners into a corner like that, take all other options off the table and basically admit that OU has become the Longhorns’ little sister?

C’mon, Joe. You guys are better than that.

5. Journalism. I, for one, will never trust any future article with the line “Sources close to the program say . . .” again. There was so much misinformation and outright deception going on that journalistic integrity was the first casualty in the Great Expansion Wars of 2010. And if someone wasn’t breaking incorrect stories, then someone else was running with that information and claiming it as their own.

I’m looking at you, Joe Schad.

6. Brett Favre. For the first time in years, the annual summer “will he or won’t he” retirement talk hasn’t been the biggest offseason story in football.

"Hello? Will somebody pay attention to me now?"

7. Big 12 Relevance. For some time, the Big 12 North division has largely been an afterthought. The winner of the Oklahoma/Texas game would go on, win the conference championship and then go on to the BCS. But there was always at least a little bit of intrigue, given the history of title game upsets (Texas in ’96, A&M in 98, Kansas State in ’03, etc.) and Nebraska’s recent resurgence. All that, however, goes out the window with the loss of
the conference title game and no real competition for the Longhorns and Sooners. Barring some huge upsets, 9 of the league’s 10 teams will effectively be irrelevant on the college football scene by mid-October.

8. Dan Beebe’s Math. I took calculus in high school, and then clepped out my college math requirements. So I haven’t studied math in . . . let’s see, minus 18, times the circumference, carry the one . . . a lot of years. But I still can’t figure out how Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe figures that subtracting one of your better TV draws (Nebraska), scrapping a conference championship game and losing the Denver media market somehow adds up to almost doubling the conference’s TV contract.

9. The Pac-10. Here they thought they had Texas, the biggest fish in the college football sea, coming aboard. All they had to do was take their in-state rivals, Texas A&M and Texas Tech, with them. But then word got out that Baylor had friends in high places and that some Texas legislators were threatening to submarine the deal if Baylor wasn’t included in the package. So the Pac-10 tried to call their bluff, issuing a pre-emptive invitation to Colorado. However, the plan backfired and, instead of getting Texas as the jewel in their conference crown, they’re stuck with an underachieving Colorado program that just got hit with NCAA scholarship reductions.

10. Jerry Jones. Jerry had just secured the Big 12 Championship game for his new Taj Mahal in Dallas through 2013. Now it appears that there won’t be a title game past 2010.

Available for parties, weddings, rehearsals, bar mitzvahs...

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

When Did England Get Its Own Flag?

Great job by Team USA yesterday in picking up the tie against England. I won't go into any further soccer analysis, as I would become quickly exposed...but it was a fun game to watch.

That said, one thing that was a bit confusing was England's flag. When did they get this thing? Did I miss the launch along with the new Olympic mascots? Thanks to all three Austin Powers movies and the wrestling great former Intercontinental Champion the British Bulldog (RIP,) I had a very strong idea of what flag stood for England. It was the classic blue, red, and white with interlocking crosses also known as the Union Jack.


Then the game begins and this very basic white flag with a red cross come out, in the stands, painted on people's faces. After some heavy Wikipedia research it appears that the Union Jack is for the United Kingdom, which includes England and Scotland. I think we all had a strong feeling that Scotland had their own flag, but not England. At least me, anyway. I guess while we are at it, can we get some clarification? Where is Great Britain, the United Kingdom, and England? Are these all the same place? It appears England is part of the UK, but what about Great Britain? Where are the Beatles from? I no longer know.

Just Google English Flag. The results alternate between the union jack and the cross flag. Clearly I'm not the only confused person.

Any thoughts?

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

TheTrentonian Gives us our First Obligatory "I Hate Soccer" Column

I think we may have to feature one a day over the course of the World Cup. Afterall, this IS America.

From our local rag, the Trentonian: JEFF EDELSTEIN: That's right, I hate soccer

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Twitter Wars! @hhreynolds / @thurmanthomas Twitter Throwdown Immortalized on Cubed

The verbal jousting that lead to my moving into Thurman Thomas' Top 5 Stupid Group is now forever immortalized on FoxSports.com's Cubed/Lunch with Benefits.

<a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=320c88aa-5c18-41e1-9956-81b617d9eb28" target="_new" title="">Cubed: Episode 38</a>

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Devil Went Down to Florida and found The Korean Zombie

Well, if you’ve been living under a rock or have spent the last 5 or 6 days in a KFC Double-Down induced coma, you may not have heard the news: some shroomed-out MMA fighter down in Florida –land of the best episodes of C.O.P.S. ever produced—re-enacted a Mortal Kombat fatality and cut his friend’s heart out, ripped his face off and tore out his tongue… while he was alive… and then set the body parts on fire. I wish that I were joking.

“[Police Officer] Lee said that Wyatt said he'd cut out Powell's tongue, and that he'd removed his heart. He also mentioned that there had been a “big fight” in the kitchen. Wyatt told him that when he'd looked at Powell's face he'd seen the devil, Lee said.”

His eyes are as close together as his parents’ family trees.

Yep.

Having spent over two months in Florida in the late 90’s this in no way surprises me. When you get more than a mile away from the beach on either coast of America’s Wang, shit like this becomes the norm. It’s like a detention center for Road Warrior rejects and Carnies –like the continental US tipped on its axis and funneled all of the crazy down to be distilled and purified in a humid swamp-ridden netherworld. I am actually more surprised that he was on mushrooms and not biker-meth.

Florida: Go for the Shuttle-launches and Disney World, stay for the drug-fueled cannibalism and mohawks.

On the brighter side, according to Steve Cofield at Cagewriter, Leonard Garcia and Chan “The Korean Zombie” Sung Jung had breakfast together at Denny’s after pistol-whipping each other in to oblivion at WEC: Aldo vs. Faber. Not only that, they brought their families along.

Apparently they were both admitted to the same hospital post-fight and decided to catch a meal of blender-softened Grand Slams together after they were released from the trauma ward looking like they’d been shot out of a cannon and into a combine-harvester. This, to me, is the epitome of not only fighting as a sport but competition at its highest level. These two guys didn’t have to rely on demonizing each other –take note BJ Penn and Rashad Evans—in order to put on what at this point is arguably the best fight of the year. What they did do was stand toe-to-toe for 15 minutes, left everything in the cage and afterwards behaved like true professionals. They even exchanged shirts! Can you imagine Dan Hardy wandering around in a GSP shirt? No, you can’t because that guy is a jackass thug masquerading as an MMA fighter in Buddhist tattoos with shitty ground skills. Far be it from me to critique your Ohm Mani Pad Me Hum tattoo, Mr. Hardy, but if you truly meditated on the Six Paramitas you might discover the indelible truth of “If one licks balls at exactly one half of an entire sport –in your case anything involving grappling—then one shall find themselves curled up like a turtle and getting whaled on by a French-Canadian”.

Not pictured: self-awareness

That’s all for my rant. Stay tuned for how I picked a three-way parlay for my friend at UFC 115 and he screwed it all up by adding Tod Duffee to the bet. I would have been more upset with him had I not been hip-deep in a bender and missing a shoe.

Thanks for the extra day to recover, veterans!!

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The People in My Section

This is right up our alley and reminded us of our semi-frequent scavenger hunts.

From the good folks at It's About the Money:

"The people in my section"

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.