You Can Own One of CC Sabathia's Balls (For a Good Cause)

And really, what more could a Yankees fan want?

SUBWAY Baseball DeSIGNS tour is a collection of baseballs decorated by Little Leaguers and signed by professional athletes and celebrities. The display has been making tour stops across the country and is currently set up at the Little League Baseball World Series in Williamsport, PA. The 40+ baseballs are also viewable at SubwayKids.com and the Official SUBWAY® Facebook page.

The auction of the baseballs is live and ends Sunday (29th). All proceeds benefit the Little League Urban Initiative

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Jimmy Johnson sort of, basically, calls Troy Aikman a p*ssy

Really funny interview by friend of HHR Chris Illuminati over at EgoTV. He had the chance to talk to former Dallas Cowboys coach and soon-to-be Survivor contestant Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy talked about the show, his coaching days and talked up some flag football competition called the Jimmy Bowl he is coaching for Crown Royal.

The most interesting nugget from the whole interview was a comment about his old QB and current Fox analyst Troy Aikman. When asked who would never last a day on Survivor, Jimmy was first to vote Troy off the island.

Let’s start with Troy (Aikman). Troy has been a primadonna all his life. I mean Troy was a great, great player but he would cry the first minute on the island that he didn’t get his food, or his special diet or didn’t get his eight hours sleep. So Troy wouldn’t last in the game.

Jimmy was probably joking but it's some funny stuff. Bet Troy would at least wait until all the guys had their shirts off before he asked to leave.

EgoTV Interviews Former Dallas Cowboys Coach And Survivor: Nicaragua Contestant Jimmy Johnson (EgoTV)

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Greatest Video Ever: Norman Tugwater Demands you Pay Up

Gary Busey has a message for all fantasy football owners: you better think twice before you draft Adrian Peterson.

Busey and Peterson both star in “Time to Collect,” a video from vitaminwater that features Busey as Norman Tugwater – a maniacal lawyer who demands that his client (Peterson) receives compensation for his fantasy football rights. The humorous video also features a cameo from Shaq. Visit www.tugwater.com for more.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Cadillac Mescallade Blogging Down Under

HHR contributor and resident water polo expert Cadillac Mescallade is blogging Down Under.

Follow him and the US Team here.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Cynic's Guide to Fantasy Football: Craigslist to the Rescue

It happens every year. It’s time to start your fantasy draft and one guy—you know, the guy that nobody really knows and is just a friend-of-a-friend who was supposed to join your league and bring the beer—calls with a sob story about how his car won’t start and his girlfriend needs him to run some errands and his favorite dog died and, long story short, he won’t be able to make the draft.

You can’t do a draft with an odd number of players, and nobody else can come up with a replacement. You're screwed, right? Well not anymore, thanks to the magic of Craigslist! When all else fails, just hop online, get yourself a replacement buddy and, like magic, your draft is ready to go.

As the ad so eloquently puts it: old buddy for sale or trade

"he is about to turn 42, and has just outlived his usefulness, he is helpful at working on old cars, but he will drink up all your beer, and get on your nerves (A LOT) but if you can use him just email me with offers, cash or otherwise. i might concider trading him for a bulldog puppy, but no cats please, honestly he's a pretty good guy to have around if your workin on old cars, or junkin, and sometimes even if your roofin your house, but my wife said he's gotta go, so he's outa here,">

Proceed with caution. This photo says it was taken in the year 2043, which means he may actually be a time-traveling ringer who nows all the best sleeper picks for the next 30 years. So let him into your league at your own risk.

Sure, you’ll have to provide the beer which your new buddy will drink all up, but at least your draft can proceed and you made a new friend in the process.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Because Skip Deserves a Good Populist Kick in the Pants

Consider us Team Bomani.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Riemersma Sacked

*Warning, this post contains lame football metaphors in honor of Jay’s campaign commercials*

The political career of former NFL tight end Jay Riemersma came short of the endzone last week. Riemersma lost by an extra point, a slim margin of 1 percent of the vote.

Jay or J.R., which he preferred to be called as people fumbled saying and spelling his last name, came into the race as a flashy new rookie ready to show the old veterans that he was the answer that the people yearned for.

With the fans primed for an outsider to take the state and country to the promise land, he had the wind at his back. However, when the game was on the line, his attempt missed just wide.



Riemersma came out of the tunnel aggressive looking to fight in the trenches. He hired a campaign agent notorious for negative politics, and he got what he paid for (personally too as he dumped a signing bonus in the race).

In the end, the decision to go negative in fan base that is more Kurt Warner than Dick Butkus very well could have been the deciding factor.

Jay’s campaign relentlessly attacked his opponents by pounding the ball against their legislative records. However, when his opponents finally threw a flag in the waning minutes by suing him for defamation and filing a complaint with the FEC for illegally coordinating attack ads, the negative attention was squarely placed on Jay’s shoulders.

Finally, in the last debate, one of his opponents threw a tight spiral right between Jay’s numbers, and Riemersma couldn’t handle it.

Asked whether his campaign illegally coordinated the negative ads against his opponents, he tried to juke, jive and explode through the hole with political rhetoric but ended up with big negative yardage. Enough so, that the crowd turned on him and he had to ask to repeat the question.



After another failed attempt to reach the line of scrimmage, a scrawny DB came from the backfield and sacked Riemersma by yelling out, “Man up!”

When election night came, it went deep into overtime with the final victor being declared around 4 a.m. Riemersma went to the showers 658 votes shy of being a star.

Jay has time on his hands, and with term limits cycling legislators in and out like Broncos running backs, he could soon put on the shoulder pads and give it the old college try again. We will wait to see if the practice paid off and he tries a different playbook.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Cynic’s Guide to Politics: Off the Top Rope

Yesterday, Linda McMahon, the former CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, won the Republican nomination to be the next U.S. Senator from Connecticut. She’s already spent approximately $22 million of her own money, and has pledged to spend as much as $50 million to win the seat.

There’s an old saying from my political science class days that every senator thinks he should be president. If that’s the case, then we could be in line for one of the most entertaining administrations in some time in the not-too-distant future. So we here at HHR thought we would do our bit of public service and help future President McMahon start piecing together her cabinet with those she already knows.

Vice-President: Ultimate Warrior
Politically, vice-presidential candidates are often chosen to “balance the ticket,” or bring something to the table that the top candidate doesn’t have. Since retiring from wrestling, Warrior has become a conservative (to put it mildly) commentator who could help pull in the GOP’s conservative base and Tea Party types. Plus, McMahon would be seen as a model of dignity and moderation by comparison.

Secretary of State: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Teddy Roosevelt once described his foreign policy as, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Nobody would carry a bigger stick for American interests overseas than Hacksaw.

Secretary of Defense: Sergeant Slaughter
He's the pick for his obvious experience. Plus, with his Iraq/US flip-flopping during the first Gulf war, he’s already mastered the political art of waffling.

Secretary of the Treasury: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake
Because someone has to be willing to finally make some tough cuts and balance the budget.

Attorney General: Randy “The Macho Man” Savage
Supreme Court Clerk: “Oyez, oyez, oyez, the court is now in order.”
Chief Justice: “Is the government prepared to present its case?”
Attorney General Savage: “Oooooooh yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

Secretary of the Interior: Kane
The Interior post is a throwaway job. Almost without fail, a new president will appoint a small-state governor from the opposite party so he can claim to be bipartisan without giving the other party any real power. With Kane’s long-running feud with the McMahon family, this would be a perfect way to claim bipartisanship while keeping the Big Red Machine under wraps.

Secretary of Agriculture: Hillbilly Jim
Traditionally, the Agriculture spot always goes to a governor or congressman from a key agricultural state. While I don’t know Jim’s position on federal ethanol subsidies, he’s about as country as the WWE ever got.

Secretary of Commerce: Ted DiBiase
Because Lord knows we could use some extra money in the economy.

Secretary of Labor: Mick Foley
Able to pull off several different characters (Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, etc.), Foley was the hardest working man in the business. Plus, he’d be perfect to be in charge of OSHA—after the Hell in a Cell match, Foley knows a thing or two about workplace safety hazards.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Nikolai Volkoff
Because, if you believe some of my Republican friends, America’s health system will be modeled after the old Soviet Union once Obama is through with it.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: The Brooklyn Brawler
You need someone in this job who has experience with decaying inner city areas. In other words, Brooklyn.

Secretary of Transportation: The Godfather
He can bring the organizational efficiency demonstrated by the “Ho Train” to our nation’s public transportation infrastructure.

Secretary of Energy: Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka
With his wild hair, glaring eyes and high-flying antics, few wrestlers have brought more energy and excitement to the ring. Now if he can just do something about that whole dependence on foreign oil thing.

Secretary of Education: George “The Animal” Steele
I had a history teacher in high school who used to have Vietnam flashbacks in the middle of class. We all feared for our lives. But he had the highest pass rate in school history as a result—we were all afraid to find out what would happen if we failed. Putting a psycho like Steele in charge of our nation’s education could be just the kind of tough love wake-up call our students need.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Jesse “The Body” Ventura
As a former Navy SEAL and governor, he’s the perfect mix of policy knowledge and political acumen for this spot.

Secretary of Homeland Security: The Big Bossman
You want border security? I’ve got your border security right here!


So there are our suggestions. No thanks necessary. Only doing our civic duty. Just let us know when we can expect our bailout check in the mail.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

ESPN Euro Headline Writer Deserves a Raise

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Rusty Reckons: Power Rankings Part 3

The summer has certainly heated up and so has NASCAR. Over the last few months, Rusty's been holed up in his cool basement watching the fastest sport in America. During this cave dwelling experience, I've noticed a few things that's made NASCAR exciting. Here's a short list.

DAYTONA BEACH, FL - JULY 02: Dale Earnhardt Jr., driver of the #3 Wrangler Chevrolet, celebrates in victory lane after winning the NASCAR Nationwide Series Subway Jalapeno 250 at Daytona International Speedway on July 2, 2010 in Daytona Beach, Florida.

Photo by Jerry Markland/Getty Images for NASCAR

1. #3 in Victory Lane

There are a few, and I mean a very few things that have the slightest inklin of bringing a tear to a NASCAR fan's eyes. After the tragedy of the 2001 Daytona 500, an Earnhardt behind the wheel of a #3 Chevrolet in victory lane is one of them. A few short weeks ago, we were treated to just that . . . and at Daytona, no less, the site of one of the greatest tragedies in NASCAR history. In honor of his father, Dale Jr. piloted a Nationwide car with his old man's #3 Wrangler blue and yellow paint scheme. With his usual restrictor plate aplomb, Dale Jr drove a great race and found victory lane for the first time since 2008. Once in victory lane and filled with his usual post-victory emotion Dale Jr declared he did what he wanted to do and that he would probably never again pilot the #3. His swan song, if it remains that, can surely go down as one of the best in sports history. Essentially, he drove it from victory lane, into the history books. That my friends, is certainly the #1 thing on Rusty's power rankings for this part of the season.


2. Chip Ganassi

There is no triple crown in auto-racing, but if there was, Chip Ganassi would get the honor. This year, Chip Ganassi, co-owner of the #1 car with driver Jamie McMurray in NASCAR and owner of the #10 car driven by Dario Franchitti in the Indy Series, won the top 3 races in America. In just 5 short months, Ganassi cars have found victory lane at the Daytona 500, Indianapolis 500, and the Brickyard 400. Rusty's certainly one to argue that there's a good deal of luck in racing, especially NASCAR, but unless Ganassi's been buying rabbit's feet by the truck-load, I think we can say he's got a few things figured out. Currently sitting at 17th in the points, it's not looking too bright for McMurray's chances to make the Chase, but of any of the tracks to win at, Indy is the most indicative of a driver's championship success. Only a handful of winners at the Brickyard have NOT won a Championship. McMurray added his name to that short list this year . . . for now, but Ganassi might just have another trick up his sleeve, yet.


3. David Reutimann

Who? Exactly! Unfortunately for David, up until this point, he's essentially been considered an also ran. A teammate of the sponsor-lovin Michael Waltrip, Reutimann has had minimal success at best. He's never made the Chase, and honestly has never really been close. He had won before last week, but in a rain shortened event. I know, I know, a win's a win, which is true, but Reutimann arguably wasn't going to win that race without a little help from the man upstairs. This time, it was a different story. Reutimann's win in Chicago was done with the usual moves seen by the sports top contenders. Reuti, as we've learned is his nickname among friends and growing fan-base, led a total of 52 laps and made the right moves toward the end of the race to finally take the checkers in a full NASCAR Sprint Cup event. Time will only tell if this springboards a promising career for the driver of the 00 (pronounced double zero) Toyota, but Rusty doesn't think we've seen the last of him.

4. ESPN's coverage

As a general rule, ole Rusty's not a fan of the cable sports giant's coverage of actual sporting events. Rather than having some national know-it-all flown in 10 minutes before the game and handed a single page dossier on the teams, I'd rather have local or regional guy who actually follow the teams call the game. ESPN's NASCAR coverage is the exception, however. Though I'll miss the lovely Lindsay Czarniak, the ESPN team truly does an excellent job. Further adding to ESPN's stellar work is the cut-away car segments. Now, usually I'm not a fan of anything that gets away from the actual action on the field, but racing's a little different. Discussions about the intricacies of the modern NASCAR race car are greatly aided with the ESPN cut-away car. Sure, Fox, and NBC, and TNT all have similar things, and ESPN wasn't even the one to invent the concept, but according to this avid fan, they've perfected it. The level of detail and knowledge base provided by this little aside is what makes ESPN's coverage of NASCAR make the current power rankings.

5. Greg Biffle/Jack Roush

The "bug-eyed-dumby" made it back to victory lane. The #16 3M Ford from the Roush stable ended a long winless drought stretching back to 2008. It was also Jack Roush's first win since last fall at Talladega. The win couldn't have come at a better time for the Cat in the Hat, either. Just before the Pocono race where Biff found victory lane, Jack was involved in a rather serious airplane crash. The wily old man was piloting his own private plane when it got a little hairy on landing. Roush was able to walk-away, but has been through several surgeries since. Having one of his teams find victory lane the Sunday he had to watch from a hospital bed, I'm sure helped in the recovery. Biffle's currently sitting at the 11th position in points, not a shoe-in for making the Chase, but this victory certainly helped, and if he does make NASCAR's version of the playoffs, those 10 bonus points will sure come in handy, too.


The Rusty Old Jalopy award: Carl Edwards

It's time to park, Mr. Ed. I've always been a fan of letting race drivers settle their business on the track. Let'em race, and let'em race hard. In recent years, NASCAR's been quick to punish overly aggressive driving in order to polish their image. This year, they let the gloves come off a bit, but maybe a little too much. Carl makes this week's jalopy award for his kindergarten behavior at a recent Nationwide race (oh, and let's not forget earlier this year at Atlanta). Brad Keselowski and Edwards have never been fast friends, but regardless of any rivalry, Keselowski didn't deserve to be outright wrecked on his way to the checkers like Edwards did a few weeks back. This isn't the first time Edwards has gone a little berserk either. After a wild race in Martinsville a few years back, Edwards came up and physically threatened teammate Matt Kenseth during a post-race interview, a teammate! Even more notable was his Cole Trickle-esque bumping of Dale Earnhardt Jr. at a Michigan Nationwide event. Junior got into Edwards towards the end of the race. Mr. Ed expressed his displeasure at Junior's move by ramming his car during the victory lap at the conclusion of the race. Junior escaped losing his hand by mere inches. Rusty's always been a fan of the bump-n-run and letting guys get aggressive. I'm an Earnhardt fan, for crying out loud. But there's a line. Using your car as a weapon and means of exacting revenge is over that line. Carl continues to cross it, and should be parked. Period.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Philly.com: Former "Viking" Jon Runyan Running for Congress

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Pedro Martinez Loves Him Some Jamie Moyer

On his Gillette Pro Glide media tour and in between AJ's Espanol Deadspin interview, Pedro wouldn't take the bait and talk ill of his former mates...but couldn't say enough good things about Jamie Moyer.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Kige's Performance Workout

He's very Curt Henning-esq.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

God Himself Offers a Parable Just for Derrelle Revis

"For the kingdom of heaven is like an NFL owner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work on his gridiron. He agreed to pay them millions for the season and sent them into his stadium.

About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, 'You also go and work in my football field, and I will pay you whatever is right.' So they went.

He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, 'Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?'

'Because no one has hired us,' they answered.

He said to them, 'You also go and work in my stadium.'

When evening came, the owner of the team said to his foreman, 'Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.'

The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received millions. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received millions. When they received it, they began to grumble against the owner. 'These men who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.'

But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for millions? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?'"

Matthew 20:1-16 (New International Version)

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Hide Prairie Dawn

Look who's creepin' on Sesame Street today...

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.