Well, thank goodness that’s over.
As my longtime readers (hi mom!) know, I’m not the most positive guy in the world. But even by my cynical standards, this offseason was terrible. It seems like every time we thought we could finally think about football, another scandal would rear its ugly head. And while these scandals (along with conference realignment, round two) will continue to dominate the headlines, we can finally turn our attention to the good stuff. College football kicks off tonight and it promises to be a wild season.
|Worst. Offseason. Ever.|
While Oklahoma and Alabama are at the top of the polls, I don’t know that anyone would consider them unbeatable. You can get decent odds on any number of teams. But that would be too easy. So let’s look at some other prop bets (purely for educational purposes, of course) that you can get this season. All odds came directly from the sports book at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Either that or the homeless guy I accidentally tripped over walking down Fremont Street. I don’t quite remember.
- Over/under on the number of “The Big 12 has
tennine teams and the Big Ten has 12” jokes will be made by sportswriters/bloggers/message boarders this season: 7,326,141. And bet the over.
- Odds that any of those jokes will be funnier than an average Garfield comic strip in which he eats a lasagna and takes a nap: 3/1
- Odds that any of those jokes will be funnier than a Dane Cook comedy routine: Even
- Odds that Jon Gruden and Urban Meyer will be rumored for any and all coaching jobs that come open: 2/5
- Odds that mentions of the name Nevin Shapiro will outnumber those of Al Golden: 5/2
- Odds that Maryland will sell out any games this year, even with the help of Groupon: 25/1
- Over/under on number of times we’ll hear “Florida State is back” after halftime of their game against Oklahoma: 1
- Odds that anyone from ESPN will say anything negative about Texas: $300,000,000/1
|Tailgating in Ames, 2011|
- Odds the division winners won't display their division trophies because they're too embarrassed to refer to themselves as "Legends" or "Leaders": 24/1
- Over/under on number of times South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia will be arrested, ticketed, suspended or benched this season. 3
- Over/under on number of times Georgia coach Mark Richt’s name will be used by national writers this season without being accompanied by the phrase, “on the hot seat.”: 3
- Odds that USC (which is on bowl probation) gets the same number of bowl invites as UCLA: 3/2
- Odds Andrew Luck regrows his Amish beard and shows up at the Heisman ceremony in a horse and buggy: 400/1
- Over/under on number of different uniform combinations the Oregon Ducks will break out this season: 17