Belichick demands asterisk added to Shula’s weight loss total

In an interesting turn of events today, Coach Bill Belichick ask FDA regulators to look into claims by former Dolphin head coach Don Shula that he lost more than 32 lbs. using the Nutrisystem weight loss plan.

“I don’t think he did it honestly,” commented Belichick “and frankly I’d like an asterisk added to his total.”

“I’d seen Shula at a few of the NFL events in the off-season” Belichick remarked, “and I could tell he’d done things to ‘aid’ his weight loss. I think I saw the outline of a girdle under his Dolphins polo shirt. At the summer league meetings I saw him go to the buffet table at least 2 – 3 times.”

Belichick offered video proof of the Coach Shula from last year’s HOF ceremonies, but then remembered they were confiscated by NFL officials. Coach Shula was finger painting and then going to join the rest of his friends at the assisted living facility for a nice prune and date smoothie and could not be reached for comment.

HHR has obtained a copy of the new ad and compared it to the campaign Nutrisystem is currently running.