AAU Player of the Year Isiah Jones Hits the ESPY Red Carpet

Isiah Jones, the AAU basketball player of the year, representing our friends at the Global Sports Fraternity, did a phenomenal as an all-access guide to the 2009 ESPYs Red Carpet.

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Re-capping @jemelehill's Vodka-Induced, Un-Funny, Stereotype-Laden BET Awards Recap

In all likelihood, sports fans, you spent last evening in the same manner as I did - not watching the BET awards.

I was however, lucky enough that plenty of folks on Twitter felt the need to keep a Simmonsian running diary, including ESPN 1st & 10 mainstay Jemele Hill.

Among other things, the show somehow became a tribute to former Phillies/Mariners/Giants/Reds/Indians/Astros/Twins/White Sox reliever Mike Jackson.

I, for one, had no idea he was so popular in the R&B community.

Nor did I have any idea just how out of touch with the BET-watching community I, in essence, am.

Take it away Jemele...

If anyone wants to explain to me what exactly that action is referring to, by all means. Whitlock?

Last night's reunion performance, New Edition's 27th in the last 10 years, surprised and pleased only Jemele Hill. Then again, she remembers fainting when an adolescent Bobby Brown would strip off his shirt and dry hump the stage.

Apparently Jamie Foxx came out looking like this:

Is that Sheila E?

Jemele finds this amusing:

• Wow. Jamie Foxx came out with a Beat It jacket. I love this dude.about 13 hours ago from web
• Aight, Jamie, if you're going to do the Beat It reincarnation, i'mma need you to stay on beat.about 13 hours ago from web
• J Foxx has on some pants so tight I can see his butt cheeks flexinabout 13 hours ago from web
• If Jamie moves a bit too quickly, he coming out of those pantsabout 13 hours ago from we
• LMAO...Jamie Foxx just said his Michael Jackson pants are giving him a "camel toe." Now that's hysterical.about 13 hours ago from web

Clearly it doesn't take much to amuse Jemele Hill, and clearly Foxx fails to recognize and understand the subtle, yet distinct, differences between "camel toe" and "moose knuckle."

You people in Bristol just don't learn do you?

The real questions are:

• Why does BET have an awards show?
• Why does Jemele Hill have a career?
• Why am I following her Twitter feed?
  

A larger size uh what exactly?

After marveling over Bron's snug slacks, Hill goes on to Tweet about the following people I've never heard of:

• Keri Hilson
• Ne-Yo
• Neffei
• Keke Palmer
• XScape
  

That what she said.

If I followed this recipe but instead did so with Puerto Rican midgets and called in PRMET, I guarantee 2 things: 1. I would be deemed racist and offensive; 2. It would be more entertaining and successful than anything ever produced by BET. Bank it.

It took a fifth of vodka, but there we have it - Jemele's first and only amusing comment.


Jemele Hill, tearing down black stereotypes on Twitter since 2009.

This comment is applicable to:

A. BET's 2009 Awards Show
B. Jemele Hill's Tweetcap
C. This Post
D. All of the Above

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