According to Dre Bly, a self-proclaimed expert on the chemistry of Lions’ quarterbacks, Kitna’s
wife Jeni, seen here dressed as the daughter of Dave Thomas, redecorated the couple’s home the weekend of the Arizona game using the ancient technique of feng shui.Sources close to God have said that He is non-to-pleased with the recent renovation because of feng shui’s strong ties to astrology.
“The Big Man doesn’t appreciate stuff like that,” said the guy outside Ford Field that calls himself Jesus. “I listen to the stars every night, and they ain’t telling me to redecorate my Zenith box.”
Both the secular and religious fractions of the locker room blame the recent losing streak on the extreme makeover and have ostracized Kitna until the home is reconfigured.
GM Matt Millen said on a local radio show that the Kitnas are contemplating flying out weekly with him to Pennsylvania, where he can drop them off at a nearby Amish community to see how God prefers homes to be decorated.
Kitna and his wife were unable to be reached for comment.
2 comments:
Yeah, JC's all like "What's up with Fung Shui anyway?". He told me and Stu when we were walking on the beach the other day that he prefers a more spartan look anyway, like "mission" style decor or bean bag chairs. Fung Shui really irks him, like that time he was walking through the temple and all those people were selling IKEA area rugs and Scarface posters and JC just went apeshit...
It is Feng Shui, not Fung Shui
Post a Comment