Thursday, May 8, 2008

Can't sleep? Catch a Phillies game.

Two straight nights, Harry K has knocked my ass out. Fine, it's a 10:30 pm start time on the East Coast but I am not a 60-year-old man. My normal bed time is midnight, right after some warm milk and a couple pages of 'Diary of a MILF.'

And it's not just Harry's snail-paced delivery and stepping all over Wheeler's points that's got me nodding off. The man refuses to admit he is wrong. A few weeks ago he kept referring to Reds outfielder Norris Hopper as Dennis Hopper. He is going on and on about the weather, jet lag and Sarges' HGH abusing offspring.

Here is a classic Harry moment from this season. I don't remember all the particulars but here is the jist; Jason Werth comes to bat and his line on the bottom of the screen says he is hitting at .278. A moment later the line flashes for his average with runners in scoring position, which was around .290. Harry is still thinking about the first batting average (.278) and wants to impress everyone with his reading comprehension. He gets out 'Werth hitting at twwoooo.' when he peeks the .290 staring at him. He is lost.

And then dead silence. No 'sorry about that' no 'oh, I meant this.' Wheels is dead silent in fear of an arthiritic backhand slap.

The silence lasted the entire at bat.

I am hoping this is Harry's goodbye tour. One last trip around the country before bowing out and into retirement.

I hope he takes Sarge's hats with him.

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