Get a Job, You Bums / Jocks Once Again Rule Over Hippies

Newly-married Fat Willard reported back to us this week from his honeymoon in San Fran about constant news reports out in Cali of hippie tree-sitters still preventing the construction of the Cal football training facility in Berkley.

On a campus with a long history of demonstrations and radicalism, the 21-month tree-sit ignited fierce reactions. Cal football fans were enraged over the delays to the training facility, while some environmentalists decried the plans to remove trees from the urban campus.

Finally, after a 649-day sit-off, Armando "Mando" Resendez, 20; Ernesto Trebino, 18; Raul "Huck" Colocho, 27; and Michael "Shem" Schuck, 26, "voluntarily climbed down from an 80-foot redwood next to Memorial Stadium."

Their time however appears to have been well-spent. In addition to wasting 2 years of their lives, news reports indicate that they also spent time collecting their own crap to hurl at police.

It just goes to show you that being a freeloading loiterer, not to mention a quitter, just doesn't pay anymore.

The 42 of them galvanized three lawsuits, national media attention and the longest urban tree-sit in history, which has lasted since late 2006. Now nearly all the trees that once towered above the grove near Memorial Stadium-save for a lone redwood-lie in a heap.

Hippies be warned:

You'll eventually end up submitting to the man and then have to watch a bunch of jocks occupy your sacred area.