Friday, October 10, 2008

Pregaming with Craig: ALCS Game 1

Are you in Tampa? If you answered yes and are not presently stabbing yourself repeatedly in the chest for answering in the affirmative, perhaps you should check out tonight's Rays - Sox game in person. Where can a fine upstanding individual like yourself find tickets at this late hour? No worry, HHR has scoured craigslist for you.

I want 2 or 4 tickets to game 1 ALCS
This is a person who does not know if their fat friend is coming or not.

Make a fair offer I drive to you! ALCS 1&2 RAYS V SOX

What happens if I don't make a fair offer? Do I drive? Do you drive part way? Can the buyer pay extra to not have you in the car?

ALCS Party Deck-Aisle seats
My guess is Party Deck loosely translates to Boozebag Central. In most places, aisle seats are like gold. Extra space to stretch out, easy to get up and down, and you can trade them for favors (you don't get in the mile high club by giving up your armrest, people). But here, you will rarely sit down because all of the people up there are invested in the Party Deck living up to its name. So they are going to drink. Hard. That means everyone is going to the bathroom all night. If you do sit down, you're passing food and incorrect change to the vendors.

Sure you can buy tickets all over craigslist, but from the looks of it, you can buy tickets that belong to three different people named Raymond. There's no other way to read it.

Hello Out There!!! Rays ALCS Game 2 Single Ticket
It is a not a coincidence that someone who yells Hello Out There! needs a single game ticket.

This one really hits home, for I understand these men. I too have been scorned by Whiteny Bank. She rolled through Boston a few years back. We had a chance meeting in a bar, and what followed can only be described as a ravenous, intense, and emotionally destructive relationship that was based more on angry cab-sex than respect. It lasted for only a week - seven days of a nonstop and violent wrecking of my life. A sweaty cycle of binge and purge that cost me jobs, several psychiatrists, not to mention thousands in cab fares (and associated clean up fees). I am glad to see others who fell for her siren's song have found each other and have organized this club. Though I would have called it the SCREW YOU WHITENY BANK PLEASE CALL ME CLUB.

alcs rip-off - $500
Well put.*

And what is a bunch of Boston mysogonists to do with the game so far away? Well technically this was placed last week, but we're pretty sure the offer still stands:
Want to strip for us? - mm4w

Enjoy the game everyone. Except for Rays fans of course. I hope this game crushes your souls to the point where I can smell oranges.

*If you bother to click through and read it, it's like Jack Kerouac himself posted on craigslist, post-lobotomy, of course

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