Wednesday, October 29, 2008

PreGaming with Craigslist: Sudden Death World Series

Well, it's come to this - people willing to give, pay, or sell anything to see what promises to be a mere 45 minutes worth of baseball. What are the odds that it is infinitely more exciting, and leads to a new league promising 3 innings only with a do or die home-run derby in the event of a tie? No more starters, closers, mid-relief - and you can drink through the entire game! It could be call the XBL and would have cheerleaders and... yeah. I know. Odds are probably as good as craigslist being a place where upstanding citizens go to rationally discuss the issues of the day and barter in good faith. Speaking of which, let's see how much brotherly love (aside from all the m4m postings) the sellers and their prey are showing each other:

Stay dry- sell me your tickets
Basically the vibe I am getting from this buyer is that there is no way to go to the game and not get wildly, incoherently drunk.

CLICK HERE - Two LL Seats $1,400 for pair
I'll be straight with you, you can never pay too much for LL Cool J tickets.

I need a miracle! Stub me down bro! I need game 5
Anyone else have the urge to tase this dude? I don't even know what "Stub me down" means. I'm still working on deciphering what A licky boom boom down means. But I do know that when used at the end of a sentence, the word "bro" means I should punch you in the trachea.

Trade iPhone for Phillies GM, 5 Tix
If I were Gillick, I would at first be insulted. Surely he is worth more than an iPhone. But before reacting, he should find out if it's an old one or a new 3G one. Those things are pimp.

Trade eagles tickes for World series suspended game
Here's your chance to see history, people. Be able to say you saw what others saw in 1980. That's right, I'm talking about the chance to see the Eagles in concert. Not since Eagles Live was released has there been such excitement about Don Henley wincing as he sings. At the mere price of a boring old 'world series' victory! Newsflash: Someone wins the world series every year! Make this trade immediately. It's like stealing candy from a geriatric Joe Walsh!

If the dream involves you funding my raging gambling addiction while I fornicate with chesty cheerleader squads made of Marisa Miller clones, after a day spent training delta forces in the subtle arts of supermodel seduction and long distance axe-throwing, then yeah, I'll take a crack at it.

I am looking for 1 ticket for the completion of game 5
This buyer seems to be inferring that Game 5 has blue balls. There is no other way to read it.

A Blowjob is still a job
At my house it's more like an unpaid internship.

I'd Like my Son 2 experience what I did in 1980
You want him to see a boozed up Glenn Frey wobble through the lyrics of Take it Easy, while your home team wins the World Series? You must fucking hate your son.

Though not exactly known to be craigslist ninjas, let's see how the Rays fans are doing. I picture them permanently on edge, anxiously hoping to bring the series back to the Trop. Willing to pay whatever inflated prices the scalpers on craigslist are charging. These are die hard fans, who sense they are on the ground floor of a new and unexpected dynasty! What they are willing to sacrifice in order to see a game 6! Onward to Glory!!!!

my c*ck hasnt had any attention in weeks

Couldn't have said it better myself. Enjoy the games!

1 comment:

Dewey Hammond said...

Stub me down, LOL.

Probably a former Deadhead.