Monday, November 10, 2008

Obscure Jersey Bingo Night at the Linc

Last night, Ariel and I joined phillyBurbs' Illuminati and a mutual friend at the Eagles-Giants game. The mutual friend's ("The Teacher's") uncle has season tickets, but with two young kids, often passes on night games. The Teacher and Illuminati happen to be Giants fans, but wisely took a pass on wearing any apparel. I will admit, with ticket hook-ups to both the Linc and Citizen's Bank Park that regularly land me on the club levels, I now find myself spoiled when it comes to sporting events. That said, I sometimes like to interact with the common folk in the upper levels for old time's sake, like I did last night.

And it's nice to go to a Philly sporting event without being hijacked into a tittie bar.

Illuminati give a nice little recap today on pBurbs.

He covers much of the bantering and negativity quite well, so I'll only offer a few additions. The game was so miserable from an Eagle's fan perspective that I had to find ways to amuse myself that didn't involve Donovan McNabb "passing" a football.

The first was something he covered - a plea from Andy Reid's emaciated wife to donate canned goods for charity. Ariel noted that it's really a personal plea in that Fat Andy starves her and she needs help. Badly. The Teacher than noted that it looked like the old WWFE plea from Steph McMahon when she was abducted and locked in the "boiler room." Heh.

I also got a kick out of "GETUM UP GUY." A twenty-something poor man's John Cena who each and every third down felt the need to "GETUM UP," and who despite his bad-boy look, lost serious points for pulling out and packing an unmistakable green-yellow tin of Apple Blend Skoal, the least manly snuff on the market. I bet they were Bandits, too. Seriously, my man. It's Eagles-Giants prime time. No need.

What's the deal with "HI-FIVE GIANT GUY?" Discretely decked out in Phillies gear, he would hi-five Giant fans as they made their way up the section to a chorus of "Aaaaassshole" chants. Who said Philly fans are ruthless?

I love playing a little game at stadiums where I try to find the most obscure jerseys I can find. Illuminati threw me a challenge where he wanted me to find the entire 1991 Eagles squad.

Sure Jerome Brown, Reggie White and Randall Cunningham are gimmes, but you try finding Antoine Davis and Andy Harmon. Oh wait.

Aside from the '91 team, a few I saw but wasn't quick enough to capture included Ricky Watters, Herchell Walker, "Boyd 08" and Prescott(#1). Surprisingly, more than a few Stewart Bradley 55s. But why no Golics?

One Corey Simon fan takes his idol worshiping so seriously that he has decided to spend the majority of the game in the concession line looking to eat himself to death like old #90.

This poor guy sat on the end of the aisle and was harassed by Eagles fans who thought he was wearing a Giants jersey. Eventually he just got tired of explaining it was a McNabb NFC Pro Bowl one. Well either he got tired or drunk and disgusted. At one point early in the second quarter he had his face in his hands, rubbing head, shaking side to side. It was that kind of night.

Sure, the only one booed louder than Joe Biden last night was #5, but his and Brian Dawkins' jerseys always dominate the stadium. That doesn't mean some fans wish for the glory days when Eagles' quarterbacks failed to win championships with just as much gusto as McNabb.

(That's actually Jeff Garcia)

Others choose to look to the future.

Westbrook jerseys are one of the few fans can proudly display without mockery.

Unless, of course, you put your own unpronouncable name on #36.

One thing I find as bad as the personalized jerseys are those of former players that people feel the need to still wear but place duct tape over.

The most common one you see is a #81 TO jersey duct taped over to read "Avant." Others get creative. There was a Trotter jersey with duct tape above the old Eagles' linebacker's name so it read

We Miss

One fella had a Duce Staley 22 jersey that he converted to Asante Samuel by simply covering the T-L-Y and replacing the L with a "UE" and Y with an "L." Seems like a lot of work especially given it's Staley - a well-liked, hard-working servicable back.

And then, why duct tape when you can simply remove letters and create Brittish potty talk?

I really need to go easier on the beer and quicker on the trigger finger to collect more. Next game I'll create actual Bingo cards and take it to the next level. Gambling is good.

By the way, if I get myself a mini bus and adorn it in Eagles green, will I be able to forgo the $25 parking fee and park illegally right near the stadium?

Or is this just reserved for Loyal Palmyra, New Jersey Eagles Fans?

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