Monday, March 2, 2009

Win Stuff: What's RIGHT With This Picture?

In the grand tradition of Highlights for Children, HHR is going to show you a picture. Should it not blind you into a state of awkwardness, your task is to post in the comments five things that are completely normal about the situation below. Winner announced tomorrow afternoon!

via a very creepy Getty Images Photographer

Besides earning some (blogging) cred, The winner receives a Pepsi NO FEAR prize pack including:
2 No Fear Hoodies
2 No Fear T-shirts (one of each style)
1 No Fear Bloodshot Hat
1 12-pack of the new No Fear Bloodshot Energy Drink
1 Lamb of God’s latest CD “Wrath” releasing on Feb. 24
1 Sticky Bumps Surf Wax

Granted, that photo would keep anyone awake for days on end, rendering elements of the prize-pack unnecessary, but when's the last time you won something that didn't involve your willingness to eat kitty litter on a dare? That's what I thought.

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J said...

1.) The hat she's wearing is a New Era replica, not authentic, perfectly fitting for this picture.

2.) The other coaches are rightfully trying to ignore what's going on.

3.) The look on Lasorda's face, one part curiosity at what gender the person is that is sitting on his knee, and one part excruciating pain, is totally appropriate.

4.) Lasorda actually died five minutes before this photo was taken and rigor mortis is the only thing keeping him sitting up straight.

5.) I know Dodgers fans take the "show up late" thing seriously but Christmas was months ago.

Ryan said...

1. Tommy Lasorda has a Dodgers uniform on.
2. There are bats and helmets in their proper dugout cubby-holes.
3. The other Dodgers coaches/players on the bench seem generally disinterested in the Spring Training baseball game.
4. Tommy Lasorda looks like his last 17 meals have involved pastas and heavy sauces.
5. The look on Jordan Sparks' face scream one word: fear.

BlueWorkhorse said...

Five completely normal things:

1. Tommy Lasorda in a Dodger uniform.
2. No one in the dugout actually pays Tommy Lasorda any attention any more.
3. Wearing Dodgers paraphernalia makes everyone look worse.
4. Senile Lasorda never looks in the right direction.
5. Lasorda has to have someone in between him and bats at all times for fear that he may be grounded a flying bat once again.

Fatkids said...

I'll accept your challenge.
Normal things:
1. Tommy Lasorda is fat
2. No one on the Dodgers seems to be paying any attention to Lasorda.
3. A girl is sitting on the lap of a fat white man with gray hair (at least normal close to Christmas time)
4. No one seems to be paying close attention to the game, normal for Spring Training.
5. Jordan Sparks appears to want nothing to do with Lasorda, refusing to even look at him.

Sports Biotch said...

- Jordin Sparks is from AZ, but is wearing Dodgers stuff. Makes sense - the Diamondbacks suck.

- Lasorda is effectively using his beer gut/"front ass" to cover up his massive erection.

- Sparks is only pretending to sit. We all know the man has a indigestion problems, and she doesn't want to make it any worse.

- The other coaches are waiting patiently, and they're smart enough to keep their sunglasses on. When their turn comes, it won't be so obvious that they're staring directly at her boobs like Lasorda.

- Lasorda's hat is resting lightly on top of his head. If it squeezes too tight he might have a stroke.

public said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ethanator1088 said...

1. Manny is not in uniform and or present.
2. The bats do not have Fbombs on them. That only happens like 1 out of 1 million baseball photos.
3. Lasorda's Ponch has been a completely normal staple of MLB Americana for over 20 years.
4. It does not look like the Dodgers are winning = normal.
5. There is a walkie-talkie antennae coming out of the helmet in the background.

P.S. How in the world can someone sit on your knee and the top of their waist is at shoulder level? How does that happen?

public said...

Hey, wait a minute! You're not Steve Sax!

Paneech said...

1. Jordan Sparks and Tommy Lasorda are trying to give Joe Torre things to write about in the sequel.

2. Randy Jackson called Lasorda "dogg", so Lasorda figures he can piss the judges off by using their winners for his own gain.

3. Tommy is teaching her the words to "Lazy Mary", an Italian classic. Wait until this blossoms into full-scale Tarentela week on Idol.

4. She probably runs faster than Manny, so they brought her in to see how she hits just in case 50 million isnt enough.

5. Tommy is telling her about how to lose weight on the Nutri-system plan.

My Sports Rumors said...

1.) The coach third in looks like he'd love to have a chick on his lap.

2.) Lasorda has gotten to big to get to the top of the dugout bench.

3.) I swear that bench is a see-saw it looks like the rest of the coaches are suspended in air.

4.) Lasorda is smiling for the picture but trying to figure out who he is taking a picture with.

5.) The reason? He can't figure out if its Jordan Sparks or Octomom

Meghan said...

You stumped me. I can't find one right thing with that picture. Is there an upside down post somewhere that I can cheat and look at the answers?

Foster said...

1.) Slim Fast still does not work.
2.) Second player from right showing rookie how to score.
3.) Tommy's thinking What Would Garvey Do?
4.) Man-ram not pictured.
5.) Keep your eye on the...

Taylor said...

1 - LA, first to bring you Japanese baseball players; also first to bring you Godzilla baseball fan.

2 - Lasorda is pleasantly plump (always has been, always will be)

3 - Sparks showed up to see ManRam and got TommyLass instead.

4 - Sparks is in Arizona, the only place she seems to ever be (Suns games, Cardinals games, I think she even needed to sell 7 more records and showed up to a Coyotes game).

5 - Wait, the only thing right about it is that it had to have been photoshopped... right?