Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Giant Investment: The Complete Illustrated History of the New York Giants

I don't know this man but he is wearing my father's sweater.

This is all I remember about the Super Bowl victories of the New York Giants; two years ago the Pats were undefeated, Tom Petty played halftime, the Tyree catch and the Burress touchdown. Also, brother-in-law made this outstanding taco dip that I can still taste today but only because I haven't brushed my teeth since January 2008. In 1991 Whitney Houston sang something, there was a war going on, Norwood missed wide right and my father and I ran around the house screaming and crying. The Super Bowl in 1987 is really hazy but I was nine-years-old. Umm...Jim Burt. Elway. Gatorade. My new Giants jacket. Ran around screaming and crying for a different reason. Storm Shadow from G.I. Joe got stepped on in the celebration.

I've got a horrific sports memory. Games, plays, and players stay in my head for about two year and leak out of my skull to make room for useless information about horrendous movies and the door code to my office building. Ironically both are 1408. My father calls me up twenty times every Sunday with sports questions like "who was that guy that played for the Giants that ran really fast?" He thinks I'm some type of idiot savant with sports knowledge and the less information I have to work with the better.

It's for people like my father and me that books like New York Giants: The Complete Illustrated History are created. Also, for the true hardcore fan but I don't care about you people at this moment. Selfish.

A thorough and entertaining book, it covers the history Giants from its origins in 1925 (Purchased in 1925 for $500) through the 2008 season. It's broken down by decade, highlighting the three memorable Super Bowl seasons and even covered the cringe-worthy moments in the team's history like the near death of Frank Gifford after the Chuck Bednarick hit, the Miracle in the Meadowlands, the booing of Phil Simms on draft day and the time they stopped serving my friend beer because he lost his pants. My favorite part is the foreword by Pat Summerall because I like when I can hear a writer's voice in my head. Summerall also sometimes narrates my sex dreams.

I was sent a copy to review for this website and I can't recommend it enough to Giants fans. There are editions available for other franchises like the Steelers, Bears and Packers. I recommend it for hardcore and casual fans. The book is worth it for the pictures alone.

So who was the "really fast" Giants player my dad was thinking of? Joe Morrison. I gave my father the copy of the book. He hasn't called in weeks. Now to find a book to keep my mom from calling.

Chris Illuminati is Giants fan and an asshole. Funny how that works. He is the author of Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it


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