... Or something like that.
Ok kids, it's a big night for reality TV. We got a huge Biggest Loser, as well as the final finale for DWTS. I think NBC and ABC are in cahoots to keep viewers for both shows. NBC has its usual 2-hour, 8-10pm timeslot for loser, while ABC smartly decided to air the DWTS finale between 9-11pm. Makes my life a whole lot easier, that I know. I only have to flip back and forth for 60 minutes, not too shabby considering the alternative.
Hour 1 - Biggest Loser
The losers learn that America got to choose their challenge from their favorite challenges on season's past. Good job America (cough NBC producers, cough), you picked the one challenge that doesn't have to do with exercise. The losers were challenged to hang on a pole suspended above a pool of water, with only a slight edge for their feet to grip to. This challenge was introduced in season two where Andrea literally hung in there for like an hour or something crazy.
Not sure the length of time that elapsed, but I think this crop of losers was mentally weaker than the previous set who dared this test of strength. In the end Bill was the last loser standing and won a week's vacation for himself and his family. Some of the comments from the girls who lost were "I am sick of Bill winning everything," and "Bill isn't even fat anymore..." Hmm... isn't that the freaking point? Ladies, stop making excuses and work your a$$ off to win this thing!
(oooh a commerical for a new reality series "Clash of the Choirs," Ren rolls his eyes hoping I don't make him watch that one too...)
After the challenge, the losers decide to take a swim because hey, why not. Well, our friend Nicole decides to dive headfirst into 3' of water and breaks her front two teeth... um... what? Don't you learn not to do that at like age 5?
Kim is still concerned with B's nutrition and learns that he's been marinating his meat in Soy Sauce. SOY SAUCE? Um, everyone knows you gain like 20 pounds in water weight after you eat chinese food. This kid has been probably eating 3000 g of sodium everyday retaining water like a PMSing georgia peach in August. I mean, come on!
A time filling trip to the doctor's reveals that the losers aren't just losing weight, but they are also dropping inches, lowering thier cholesterol and blood pressure without medication, and exponentially reducing the mass of their waist, hips, and thighs.
Ok... yawn... last chance work outs... yada yada yada. Alright, there really is no reason for this show to be more than an hour, but I guess with the writers strike they really don't have a choice.
8:53, 7 min til my thumb workout begin.
Hmmm, captian obvious decided to break into a "loser tip" and tell us that you can't burn fat with crunches alone. You need cardio, a balanced diet, and all over resistence training. Thank you Personal Training 101.
Hour 2 - DWTS and Loser Head-to-Head
(show hasn't even started and Ren is already commenting on Marie's drunken appearance)
Ok first comment is that Samantha Harris has big boobs and like to show them off in the dresses she chooses to wear. Just had to get that off my chest.
DWTS - After a brief recap, TB ushers out Celine Dion, and as soon as I go to switch to BL, Ren makes me flip back to see if she is wearing a jumpsuit, and/or has a camel toe. Thank God, neither is the case, and I safely flip back to the weigh in.
BL - Beginning of the weigh in... did I hear Alison correctly, and she said after tonight we'll be down to the final four? Does that mean three are going home? What the deuce? Ok, maybe not because the scale still has a slot for the bottom 2... Hmm, I am pretty confused but I guess I'll figure it out. B and Isabeau each lost 4 pounds... B is definitely getting sent to elimination.
DWTS - The first couple is about to be eliminated... please be Marie, please be Marie, THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Marie and Jonathan. Phewwww, seriously, there is someone looking out for all of us and for ABC becuase if she won, I think they would have lost a lot of viewers. (She reminded us again of her age... yeah we get it and have gotten it the whole time...)
BL - Bill is safe, not sure how much he lost, but he weighs less than Isabeau now. If I were those girls I'd be working my behind off. Nicole drops 6 pounds, and is down to 212. Good for her - I like her. Hollie is down 3 pounds, but her percentage puts her at the edge of elimination. Isabeau is still in, but B is still at risk. Wow... Julie lost 5 pounds, and is safe. Hollie is def up for elimination. Neil is looking to get below 300 pounds... that is insane to me that he doesn't remember the last time he was below 300... but I guess that is why he is here. Doh, commerical.
DWTS - I guess we have about 1 hour and 33 min of filler until we find out who the winner is. Josie Maran dances and we see clearly why she was the first kicked off. Apparently they are going week by week and parading out all the kicked off starts.
BL - Neil loses 5 pounds, drops below 300 but bumps B to elimination. B pleads his case like a man to the other contestants, but Kim is crushed by the news. Jeez Kim... way to load the guilt on to this kid. Make him feel worse than he does.
DWTS - ugh... Wayne Newton. It still hurts me to watch him. Thank God... he can't dance, doctor's orders.
BL - At elimination, Alison pulls a captain obvious move and explains how if B is eliminated that it will be the first time in BL history that an entire team will be gone. Even Ren knows that this is the first time they had three teams... and therefore a better chance of a team being eliminated before the end. Isabeau voted for Bryan, Neil voted for Hollie, Bill voted for Bryan, Julie voted for.... doh, commerical break.
DWTS - Sabrina and Bryan dance... she was really, really good.
BL - Julie voted for Bryan, and with that goes the Red Team. I am sad for him, but strategically it was the right move. (Ok, Bryan's dad is named Ruffin. That is AWESOME)
Hour 3 will be posted tomorrow. I need to leave some of the suspense hangin out there! (plus this sh*t was getting way too long)
No comments:
Post a Comment