The Cynic's Guide to College Football, Week 11

Well, we're coming into the home stretch. Some teams have their six wins. Some will be home in time for Thanksgiving. The bitching about the bowl system is going full force. Ohio State has punched their ticket for their annual BCS bowl loss. Coaching rumors are swirling. Somehow, inexplicably, Lou Holtz and Mark May still have jobs. (Seriously, do these guys have incriminating photos of the ESPN brass or something? I can't explain it.) At any rate, here's a look back at the week in college football weirdness.

The Great Filling Station Holdup

By now I’m sure you’ve probably heard that three Tennessee football players were arrested for armed robbery last Thursday. There are a lot of angles to go here, so I just ask this: what is the most f’ed up part of this whole situation?

• The robbery took place less than a day after UT head coach Lane Kiffin had been extolling his program’s arrest free record.
• The robbery took place at a convenience store owned by a former UT player and one of the school's bigger athletics donors.
• The victim says he doesn’t want the players to miss any playing time because he’s a Vols fan and, besides, “It's Tennessee. That's the way it is sometimes."
• The getaway car was a Toyota Prius.

America’s first “green certified” stick-up

Win or Go Home

Championship or Bust! That was probably a slogan for many schools going into this season. But with last week's upset loss to Missouri, Kansas State finds itself in that position very literally. With a win over Nebraska this weekend, the Wildcats will win the North Division championship and put themselves in the Big 12 title game against Texas and a possible (albeit unlikely) shot at the Fiesta Bowl. If they lose, however, they’ll be home for the holidays. Yes, K-State has six wins, but two came against FCS (aka I-AA) teams, of which they can only count one. So they still need another win just to get bowl eligible. Not sure exactly what kind of bowl game and division title bonuses Bill Snyder has in his contract, but I think it’s safe to say he’s got a lot of money riding on this one.

Fiesta Bowl payout=$17.5 million.
Other Big 12 Bowl options=$750K to $3 million
6-6 record=$0
No pressure, Bill.

Bulls, Bears and Broncos

You can now buy stock in the Boise State Athletic Department, with the money raised going to fund improvements to the Broncos’ athletics facilities. The bigger question is will Dan Hawkins use the golden parachute buyout he’s about to get from Colorado to become the majority shareholder and get his old job back via hostile takeover?

Who says you can’t go home again?

What Happens in Juarez . . .

When the season started, I’m pretty sure the Sun Bowl wasn’t real high on the list of goals for Oklahoma and USC. But with their seasons in a tailspin, that is what some bowl projections are now predicting.

On the plus side, the folks at the Greater El Paso Chamber of Commerce will be the doing the dance of joy. This could be the biggest thing to hit El Paso since Marty Robbins.

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