HHR Contributer Smacks Down Ray Lewis...and is Still Alive (For Now)

After Baltimore Raven rider Ray Lewis belittled the sport last week ("But we don’t need no hope. Y’all can keep your hope because we’ve got enough hope over here. We’re packing our bags, and we’re not packing our bags to come play water polo."), HHR water polo aficionado Greg Mescall challenges the linebacker to put his Speedo where his mouth is in the NYT's Fifth Down Blog today:

With all due respect to the luggage industry, what I get out of this is that Ray Lewis thinks water polo is easy. We know otherwise. Ray Lewis has distinguished himself as one of the greatest linebackers in the N.F.L. over his storied playing career. Now his career as a water polo player, that is something I’d like to see...

Take Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Dhani Jones, who played water polo with one of the top clubs in Europe, in Dubrovnik, Croatia, for his reality show. Or Dallas Mavericks point guard Jason Kidd, who told me at the 2008 Olympics that he once took part in a water polo practice with the California Bears men’s team back in college; he said it was brutal. As one reporter described the sport, water polo is “boxing plus sprinting plus basketball plus wrestling — with no floor beneath your feet.” Sounds about right...

So Ray, we welcome you to come play water polo — after the season, of course. Pack lightly; it’s a long time to stay above water.

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Commercial CRitic: Super Bowl Special

Few commercials featured athletes this year as the timeslots were dominated by NBC promos and movie trailers. Here are the Commercial CRitics thoughts on the biggest ad day of the year:

GoDaddy lowered its standards hand in hand with Danica Patrick. "I can do anything so I want to see Danica in a shower." C'mon, for a commercial that was supposed to be somewhat believable, this one didn't come somewhat.

Nobody told me that Ray Lewis was going to make an ass of himself in 3D. Otherwise, I would have commandeered a set of glasses to critique with full capability. Nevertheless, props to the Ravens (I think they were all Ravens) for laying it ALL (maybe it was good I didn't have 3D) on the dance floor.

So that is what a murderous lizard looks like. Thanks SOBE for the heads up.



Not going to comment on the Heros vs. NFL All-Stars commercial. NBC did enough self-gratifying to deserve any mention.

I would say 95 percent of Olympic athletes are amateurs and need to work at Home Depot to make a living while they train. Somehow, Carlos Boozer is the Olympian to receive the extra endorsement check from Overstock. Possibly the least minutes played on the basketball team and skipped out on a blind man while he wasn't looking for millions in Mormon country. Swing and a miss Overstock.

I heard rumors about the Coke Zero-Polamalu commercial and was ready to pan it for lack of originality, but I must say that I was impressed. It had physical violence, which I am always a supporter of. Plus, it integrated Coke Zero's previous schticks with infringement claims. Well done.



That's it, minus a boring G2 commercial. We get it Gatorade, you have a lot of money. But shouldn't Tiger be schleping his own flavored water?

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Cleveland Steamer

Like many Trenton-area sports fans, we watched Hamilton native Kevin Johnson's progression from All-State high school quarterback to his position battle at Syracuse with Donovan McNabb to his conversion to wide receiver and being drafted by the Cleveland Browns.

For a good five year stretch, his #85 Browns jersey stood proudly in Quakerbridge Mall beside Eagles and Giants greens and blues.

And then, it was gone. The jerseys and the player.

Despite being the Browns' leading receiver since being drafted, his inablity to coexist with then-coach Butch Davis lead to his being cut by the team, and subsequent downfall from NFL stardom.

While at first the transacton perplexed football fans, and fueled rumors that he would soon be an Eagle, stints with the Ravens, Jags and Lions proved unfruitful and Johnson, now at age 32, has been out of the game for 3 years.

The best idea anyone had was that he punched his ticket out of the League for being a malcontent.

Thus, I found it disheartening as he channeled his inner Al Bundy to pen a piece for this year's 50th Anniversary of the Hamilton HS West (Johnson's alma mater)/Steinert High School annual Thanksgiving Day game:

I cannot help but smile and laugh thinking of the “We’ve got Kevin, Yes we do, We’ve got Kevin, How about you?” chanted by the Hamilton fans in my senior year or the importance to my teammates and I that we win every Thanksgiving Day game.

His humble reflection on family, tradition and community brings this once bright, shining star back to earth and leaves some locals wondering, "What the hell happened to his guy, that, only a decade after his being on top of the world, he's sitting in Trenton with the rest of us this holiday?"

Training Camp Postcards, Part 4 of 8: AFC North

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in , Georgetown, KY (Bengals), Letrobe, PA (Steelers), Berea, OH (Browns) and Westminster, MD (Ravens) from a player's perspective.

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.





EDITOR'S NOTE: WE INTENDED TO POST A CARD FROM KYLE BOLLER FROM RAVENS' CAMP, BUT IT WAS INTERCEPTED UPON DELIVERY.

Booty Dancing With the Stars

Former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader and WWE Diva Stacy Kiebler hit mainstream popularity flaunting her near-perfect legs on the Dancing With The Stars ballroom floor.

Prior to being discovered by Ozzie Newsome and Vincent K. McMahon, she was busy flaunting her near-perfect rump for drunk, horny spring breakers. We're not judging.



h/t WND

File This Under: "Cruel Parents"

The most amazing thing to me in the wake of the Brian Billick firing was that the parents of the team's president had a sick enough sense of humor to name him "Dick Cass." Is his brother's name Jack?

(photo: Washington Post)

"Reservation for two under "Dick Cass." No, seriously. That's my name. I don't give a damn if your refrigerator is running.