Cole Hamels' Newborn Awarded NL Cy Young Award

This morning, the newborn son of Cole and Heidi Hamels woke up to learn that he had been awarded the 2009 National League Cy Young Award.

The Baseball Writers Association of America noted that Hamels, despite having only been on the planet for mere hours, has shown "extraordinary efforts to strengthen his change-up."

While unable to speak for himself, proud papa Cole noted that his son was "both surprised and deeply humbled" by the award.

In a prepared statement, young Hamels expressed, "Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of Rich Dubee and Charlie Manuel's leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all of Philadelphia."

Partisan critics point out that the decision to award Hamels the National League Cy Young rewards him for not being Brad Lidge's son -- and for his aspirations rather than his achievements.

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Tim McCarver Doesn't Know Sh*t from Shinola

Let me break this down for you, Tim...



With the Philadelphia leading the Dodgers 3-2, Phillies' skipper Uncle Charlie Manuel (undoubtedly after consulting with his boy Dooobey) brought Ryan Madsen in in relief of starter Cole Hamels in the top of the 8th. With Andre Ethier leading off, announcer Tim McCarver went on to praise Madsen as having the "best change-up on the staff" no less than twice in that at-bat and once after it.

Unbeknown the the viewing audience, McCarver, despite announcing the game, apparently slept through the first seven innings. He obviously missed the "keys to the game" feature in the beginning which noted Hamels' "All-World" change-up, and the 8 strikeouts the starter threw.

No offense to Madsen, who allowed one-hit and no damage facing the heart of LA's order, but anyone who knows sh*t from shinola knows Cole Hamels once struck somebody out with a 3-1 changeup.

Misleading Headline?

...or just fodder for a new Cole Hamel Fact?

Philly.com: Hamels to head home, help fire victims

Take that, Chuck Norris, and you too, Jack Bauer.

It's Been a Long Time

Citizens Bank Park will soon be called, "The House that Cole Built", literally, since Cole built the entire stadium by himself, on only 3 days rest.

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