Dunbar's Date Night: Secretariat

Lady Dunbar and I had an unintentional private screening of Secretariat last night. I guess Tuesday nights are not Disney family nights.

Rarely do I venture out to the movie theater, let alone for a movie that is rated below R and does not feature any crotch shots in the previews. Nonetheless, with Breeders’ Cup knocking at the door and with a movie based on horse racing, I decided that I needed to spend an outlandish amount of money to go see it in the theater.

It is difficult captivating an audience when 90 percent of the viewers already know the outcome and when the storyline is the exact same as Seabiscuit (2003), but I have to say that the movie was engaging and hopefully will bring in some horse racing fans.

Some of the critiques: Diane Lane – No doubt she is a sexy old lady, but I have no clue what age she is trying to pull off in this movie. Husband looks 15 years her junior. Wig works as well as a toupee.

I am woman, hear me roar theme – eh. Stick with the racing and add a gambling is wicked fun theme, Disney.

Lafayette from True Blood was the horse’s handler. Sorry Lafayette, you are type-casted. See Neal Patrick Harris for some pointers. [picture of Lafayette]

The horse racing shots were good; seemed much faster and real life than Seabiscuit’s, which were also good.

The movie inspired me put winning a Grade 1 race on my bucket list. Would like to boost that up to a Triple Crown race, but I think Grade 1 is more realistic for a guy with no money and has no clue how to purchase or train a horse. Who wants in?

Speaking of which, sadly the humble beginnings horse story is all too rare this day and age and is the only way to garner excitement in the sport. I hope this movie excites some horse loving for the action, but I doubt you will see something like this again. I don’t think people are going to get excited for: sheik becomes millionaire after string of bad luck, but then is saved by his horse and becomes a billionaire again. There is enough action in horse racing for you to get engaged.

All around, a fine movie for PG. I will pair it up with Seabiscuit for my annual horsie movie before the Derby as Lady Dunbar will inevitable buy it.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

CR Dunbar's Annual Kentucky Derby Preview

I went to Vegas for the NCAA tournament. I watched college basketball for hours on end. I bet single games, parlays, over/unders, the whole sha-bang of sports betting. In the end, I broke about even and felt like I wasted days in Vegas (Houston sucks).

One day, during the first and second quarters of the new block of games, I wandered over to the horse racing section. During the Florida Derby, I put $4 down on an exacta with one horse keyed to win and two others underneath. I wanted to save $2, so I didn't box all three.

Of course, the three horses that I picked went 1-2-3, but the horse I needed to be in first came in third. I now had a $4 piece of scrap paper. If I had not tried to save $2 in Vegas, I would have won $200.

What am I trying to convey in this deeply personal story? Horse racing is where the action is. $2, $4, $6 is all you need to hit a month's paycheck in 2 minutes, and there are no better odds than the Kentucky Derby.

With 20 horses in this crap shoot, you have every chance to hit big on simple bets. The two favorites in the race, Sidney's Candy and Lookin at Lucky, just drew the worst post positions in the race. With horses as diverse as the women in a Vegas burlesque show, we need to try and find the standout with the big knockers and not the disappointment that is hiding under makeup.


For the sake of brevity, this is how I see it and who I like:

Plenty of speed has scratched from the race. You are going to see Line of David, Conveyance and Sidney's Candy gunning from the start trying to break from the pack. Ice Box, Stately Victor and Dean's Kitten are going to stay back and wait to close. All the others are going to be crowded in a pack like a hot craps table.

• Lookin at Lucky (1) - would have bet him if he didn't get the 1 post.
• Ice Box (2) - best closer of the bunch, coming off a long reprieve, one of the horses that should have boxed in Vegas.
• Super Saver (4) - Increasing speed figures, Arkansas Derby was slow. Look at who is the rider, the ragin' cajun Borel who is on a Derby hot streak.
• American Lion (7) - In a strong post at the 7, average speed figures might be all you need if you have a clean trip and press the lead, likes the dirt.
• Jackson Bend (13) - been playing second fiddle all year to favorite that has since scratched.
• Awesome Act (16) - Was great two races back, bad stumble last race, could end up being the wise-guy horse.
• Sidney's Candy (20) - synthetic to dirt surface transition has been going well for others, why not him? 20 spot not as bad as 1 spot, ask Big Brown.

My winning bet is on Super Saver. He is improving, should go at a good price, he knows the track and Calvin Borel is turning into a little good luck Buddha that you put on your cards at the poker table.

My exacta, trifecta and super will be a mix of Super Savor, Awesome Act, American Lion, Ice Box, Sidney's Candy.

Pit boss has me in a sideroom "encouraging" me to reveal my first-second-third: Super Savor (4), Ice Box (2), Sidney's Candy (20).

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

CR Dunbar's Breeders' Cup Picks

I've plowed through articles and videos all week to prepare for the richest day in horse racing only to come out five pounds lighter and scrambling for more information.

As promised, here is my dirty south synopsis of some of my favorite races for the Breeders' Cup: Juvenile, Sprint and Classic.

Juvenile

I always enjoy studying the Juvenile race because it is your first opportunity to look at potential Kentucky Derby contenders. However, I don't necessarily enjoy betting on the race because it can quickly become a crapshoot.

This year the favorite will be hometown plodder Lookin at Lucky. He is being knocked for his slow speed figures, but definitely has a home court advantage running on the idiotic pro-ride surface.

Me, I am lookin to beat Lucky. I have my bionic eye focused on Noble's Promise. He has both synthetic and turf experience with a victory last time out going two turns.

I might also save a few pence for the European Radiohead. Maybe it is just because Pandora thinks my favorite song in the world is Creep, but Radiohead is giving me the bends.

Strategy: Pick a horse other than Lookin at Lucky, bet big and cross your fingers.

Sprint

If I ever make a career change into the horse world, I would want to focus strictly on sprint horses. Not much strategy, just go out there and run Forrest run.


Two horse this year are the clear favorites: Zensational and Fatal Bullet. Both prefer to get out on the lead and stay there which makes a handicapper cautious. Usually a duel out front leaves it wide open for a closer.

However, I think Fatal Bullet can outduel Zensational and take this.

If you want to go with a closer, it is a tossup between Gayego and Capt. Candyman Can. I keep switching between the two. I have triple C circled, but it looks like Gayego has been training well.

Strategy: Trifecta box with Fatal Bullet, Gayego, Capt. Candyman Can and Zensational

Classic

Once again, the faux dirt surface is the lead story. It has kept out the best horses, filled the field with turf horses and makes you throw out the best dirt horses that are actually running.

I have to agree with Public Enemy here and say don't believe the hype with Zenyatta. The filly hasn't seen competition like this before.


I really wanted to go with Rip Van Winkle here. One, because he has a dutch name, but probably more importantly because he was the best horse. But, I am very concerned about his foot ailment.

So, I am going with a turn of the foot and picking Richard's Kid. I think he fits well at this distance and from what they are telling me, he is training well up to the big race.

I also keeping my eye on Einstein, he always seems to hit the board.

Strategy: Exacta box the balls out of the race. I will go with Richard's Kid, Summer Bird and Einstein and pray it shakes out.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

CR Dunbar: Crazy Eyes in California

We are in the thicket of a chaotic sport season that could make Stuart Scott's eye go straight. To add to the discombobulation, the biggest two days of the horse racing season commence this weekend.


The Breeders' Cup is the championship series for the horse racing set. It is an opportunity for horses, trainers, owners, jockeys and bettors to make a season.

Before we delve into our annual analysis of the coming races, let's look at the forest instead of the trees.

The biggest races of the year (sans the Derby) that has government-type dollar figures attached will not be determined by the best horses, it will be determined by the race track surface. It is insanity.

The Europeans are invading California, and Americans are running scared. After last year's pillaging, the Europeans have entered a hoard of contenders because the Pro-ride surface at Santa Anita favors turf horses, the specialty in Europe, rather than dirt horses.

The synthetic surfaces have turned the sport on its head. Owners and trainers train and race their horses on turf to gain an edge. What's the point of doing dirt tracks now?

The fact that the surface is the leading story of their championships and not the horses should have the decision-makers rethink their fascination with synthetic surfaces.


In other news, this year gamblers will have the opportunity to bet on which jockey will win the most races. I wholeheartedly support this decision. Maybe it is the success of Animal Planet's Jockeys (brilliant show), but it is a great way for prospective horse fans to pick someone to have a connection to rather than a horse that may only race for one season or a billionaire oil prince. Not sure how it will work, but I don't see much downside.

Stay tuned for analysis of some select races.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

CR Dunbar's Belmont Stakes Preview

Lost in the shuffle of Stanley Cup Playoffs, NBA Finals and the new season of So You Think You Can Dance is the Belmont Stakes.

There is a reason that the third crown jewel has been responsible for shattering ballerina-type dreams for owners and trainers alike seeking the Triple Crown. The one and a half mile marathon requires that only iron men apply.

While Preakness runners do receive a respite of three weeks, their challengers are coming off four to five weeks rest. On top of that, horses like Mine that Bird will now run three times in five weeks. That's like watching four straight days of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Only the gifted can do it.

As readers know, I was a fan of Dunkirk in the Derby. I will probably bet on him again or go Stewie Griffin on him because he owes me a lot of money.



Although he is trudging through the Triple Crown, you can't discount Mine that Bird. He's earned being the favorite.

The wise guy horse, who I happen to like as well, is Charitable Man. He knows the lay of the land, well rested and has tactical speed (did I get that sentence from Hubie Brown?)

My long-shot long-faced fellow pick is Summer Bird. In the Belmont you need to keep an eye on the closers, and he is looking at me cock-eyed.

Betting Strategy:
Keep it simple with exacta box Dunkirk, Mine that Bird and Charitable Man

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

CR Dunbar: Flavor of Preakness

The Preakness is beginning to resemble VH1's Daisy of Love. You have an over-testosteroned field of potential victors that can be sifted between quality steeds and those there for the attention. All the while, they will all be chasing the girl.

Unfortunately, many have a chance, but the filly will likely be the winner. (Minus the STD)

Here's how I see it.

Those with a shot at love

Rachel Alexander aka Daisy: the one they will all be chasing after. Probably get impregnated by one of the contenders eventually.

Fresian Fire aka Fox: this master of the playing field knows he has the goods to take it, but a poor run last time out leaves doubts.

Papa Clem aka Flex: has faced tough competition and can hold his own. The filly will continue to look back to see if he is chasing.

Musket Man aka London: he has a chance, but he is dark, which leaves questions of whether he can handle the competition and have enough for the win.

Big Drama aka Chi Chi: will go all out in the beginning, but odds are he will peter out in the end.

Pioneerof the Nile aka 12 Pack: not his first rodeo. Quality ride just needs to hold back the competition.

Mine that Bird aka Sinister: had a monster of an outing last episode, but does anyone think he can pull a back to back. Could be left in VIP room.

Not my Rock of Love

Terrain aka 6 Gauge: let the others take each other out and muscle in at the end. Has a glaring hole though.

Take the Points aka Big Rig: a long shot, but could squeek out a victory with enough passion and the right circumstances.

Luv Guv aka Weasel: just looking for a wild ride, the next score. Can we get some whiskey in this bitch?

General Quarter aka Tool Box: all over the place. Impossible to read.

Flying Private aka Cage: draws attention, but won't come close to winning.

Tone it Down aka 84, 85, 86: there for the free party and booze. Eliminated from the start.

Betting Strategy

Exactas with Rachel Alexander and any of those with a shot at love.
Across the board with those with a shot at love.
Sleeper Pick: Take the Points.

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

From the DC Bureau: Steeplechasing Is A Sport

OK so maybe drinking my face off on Friday night was a bad move, I was waaaay too hungover to go to the annual douchefest in the DC area known as Gold Cup. But a reliable source of mine just emailed in a few pictures of the event and I now realize this is a sporting event I should have been at. I didn't know what "Steeplechasing" was, but now I know it is an alcohol Olympics of sort where you a) dress in costume and urinate in public (Photo 1), b) consume mass quantities of fine booze (See photo 2) and c) chase babes with huge racks (photo 3, far right) in sun dresses around a race track.

I've attached photographic evidence to back up my claims and apologize for not being there in person to report live from the scene.

-Special Agent Blue Pulaski, DC Bureau

Exhibit 1

Exhibit 2

Exhibit 3

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

CR Dunbar's Kentucky Derby Preview

I'm headed to Louisville for the Kentucky Derby this weekend, and I'm as happy as T-Pain on a boat.



In preparation, I have studied the Past Performances over and over, sober and the opposite of sober.

The Kentucky Derby is the most difficult race to handicap. The shear volume of horses (20), the fact they are 3-year olds, never gone the distance and some going from synthetic to a dirt surface adds nuances that would cripple Stephen Hawking.

The best way to attack the derby is to divide and conquer.

Divide (into contenders)

• I Want Revenge: will be the favorite, but can erratic jockey put it all together in the stampede?
• Dunkirk: impressive, only three starts all this year
• Friesan Fire: quality horse, faced tough competition, long layoff, good poll position.
• Pioneer of the Nile: hasn't posted 100 Beyer figure, coming out of synthetic Santa Anita

Tier II

• Papa Clem: held his own against tough competition, poor workouts leave concerns
• Musket Man: questionable competition, but a winner
• General Quarters: sentimental favorite, a fighter but streaky
• Regal Ransom: could set the pace, but top tiers should be able to stalk

Conquer (Betting Strategy)

In the Kentucky Derby, the favorite should still have decent odds to win some cash. The conservative bet would be I Want Revenge to win. He has the talent to sweet talk this one into bed.

My sleeper horse is Papa Clem. He may be a mid-sleeper when betting is finished, but he's on an upward trajectory like Lady Gaga . Both could have glorious failures though.


I would advise against betting exotics in the Kentucky Derby, but it's the Kentucky Derby so endulge like you are on a boat. I would trifecta box I Want Revenge, Dunkirk and Fresian Fire.

Ultimate pick. The Louisville Courier-Journal's headline will read on Sunday: Dunkirk Dun Kicked Their Ass.

(Follow me live at the Derby on twitter trying to steal Hank Goldberg's piggy bank @HHReynolds)

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

CR Dunbar: Derby in the Air

Back in my glory grade school days, the spring smell in the air meant it was co-ed soccer season. Now a days, it means I will remain cooped up in my cubicle, but I get to fart around for a few minutes researching the Derby. Lucky for you, I have enough time to squeeze off another round of Kentucky Derby talking points.

• Bob Baffert says he is back at the top of his game with Pioneerof the Nile. Interesting case of: you are only as good as the company you keep, as Bode Miller is no where to be seen.
  
• I love the Derby. I get to hear what Jerry O'Connell has been up to for the past year.
  
• Now is when we see owners place horses into the derby even though they have no worthwhile reason to be there, only a distraction. It's like the person fake dry humping a news reporter trying to get attention. Look mom, I'm at the Derby!
  
  
  
  
  
• The horses coming off the synthetic surfaces will have the talking heads barking again this year. Synth causes more doubt on derby horses than US Weekly does for Jennifer Aniston's hope for love. (We're pulling for you, Jen)

Try one of these bad boys on your horse loving boss. He will probably give you a raise on the spot or invite you to watch the Derby at his place where you will both get drunk and he will touch you inappropriately which results in a raise anyway. Win-win.

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

CR Dunbar: Kentucky Derby Crockpot Talking Points

In my job that actually pays, I need to conduct research at a microwave oven pace to be effective. One of the few times I get to slow roast something in the crockpot is preparing for the Kentucky Derby.

In case you want to drop some knowledge on some fools at work or pick up a honey at the local watering hole, I have prepared you with some talking points for this weekend about the upcoming Kentucky Derby from my crockpot:

• Old Fashioned has looked legit, I usually don't like to go with the favorites this early, but he looks like Ivan Drago against pre-Russia Rocky.
• Big preps for the Derby this weekend. I'm interested in seeing who comes out of the bayou (Louisiana).
• Doesn't look like there will be any fillies this year at the Derby, the ghost of Eight Belles haunts Churchill.
• Larry Jones is a hot trainer right now. I can't believe that ox rides his horses. I know I wouldn't want him on my back.

Follow us on Twitter

@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

CR Dunbar: Breeders' Cup - Classic Lacks Spice

I am finding that I am experiencing the same difficulty that ESPN will have on Saturday. What do you talk about when Curlin is more likely to win than Chance getting an STD on Real Chance of Love?

Thankfully for ESPN, they have deep pockets for the 5th Grader musings of Kenny Mayne to fill some time. Anyone want to take a guess at the comedy stylings of Mayne this go around? Most likely: Curlin and a curling iron. Holding out hope for: getting beaten by a riding crop.

Unfortunately for you, I am but a sports blogger with an empty wall where a gallant TV once stood. So, let me do a quick hard nose analysis of what I see in this race:

Curlin is good. He has never competitively ran on a synthetic racetrack before, but his warm ups at Santa Anita are showing that he is still all balls.

Early speed is lacking in this race and that Slytherin Todd Pletcher knew it so he entered Fairbanks. If Fairbanks goes uncontested, he could steal this thing, but I think Curlin is too good to let that happen.

Plenty of foreigners in this race, and I am American so I don't like that. If a commie put a gun to my head, my favorite foreigner is Duke of Marmalade because he knows the distance. Casino Drive is a big question mark because we don't know if he will go for the lead or stay back. He is bred for distance, so I imagine he will stay back, but nonetheless he has never been in a race like this before.

Student Council and Raven's Pass are sounding like hype horse to dust up some drama. No way Trainer Steve The Assman allows Student Council beat his precious Curlin.

My Plays:
Curlin to win in the exotics, not straight up because you won't win much.
Curlin keyed in an exacta box with Fairbanks and Go Between.

CR Dunbar: Breeders' Cup Sprint - Only Time for a Finishing Move

No Usain Bolt in here to run away with this sprint.

The Sprint is always my favorite race to watch and handicap. The gate, the turn and the stretch is all it is with everyone going full tilt. Set it up, feel it out and finish, skip the foreplay.

This year's sprint has several horses gunning for the lead: Fatal Bullet, Fabulous Strike, Blackseventeen and maybe Cost of Freedom and First Defense. In Summation and Sing Baby Sing will try to stalk the pace, while Street Boss and Midnight Lute will drop back. Because of the Santa Anita synthetic track, the speed horses are going to wear down as quickly as an Obama presidency. I think this sets up for the closers.

I would look for Street Boss, who knows the surface and is a quality steed, to finish with a good move. I don't know if the move finishes with twirl or a knuckle though. I'm staying away from Midnight Lute no matter what Trainer Baffert and his cronies say about his comeback.

My Picks
Street Boss to win
In Summation across the board

CR Dunbar: Breeders' Cup - Juveniles are on the Clock

The Breeders' Cup Juvenile is the main stage for prospective Kentucky Derby contenders. In a sense, it is like the lottery picks in the NBA Draft. You have the top prospects, but only a few of them will make it. The winner/first pick rarely succeeds in the Derby/NBA. On racing night/draft night you are taking a shot with them, but in the end they are highly priced and will likely disappoint you. Inevitably, along the way you will see a few stars, a majority will burnout, be injury prone or shot. But because of the rules and excitement, you need to play the game and gamble on them.

David Stern with Square Eddie.

Comparing this year's runners with the 2006 NBA Draft (gives us a little more knowledge), this is what I see:

• Square Eddie - LaMarcus Aldridge, the sure thing
• Bushranger - Andrea Bargnani, foreign player you are curious about and will take a shot on, but probably not the first pick this time
• Midshipman - Brandon Roy, going to be a star and you knew it, but he dropped on the board
• Mine That Bird - J.J. Redick, decent, but outclassed
• Street Hero - Rudy Gay, know he is going to perform, but you let him slip because you wanted to go for the other's upside
• Elusive Bluff - Tyrus Thomas, just out of college and want to take a shot at a franchise player
• Terrain - Adam Morrison, had a good tournament, but can he make the leap?

My Plays:

• Midshipman to win.
• Combinations of exacta boxes with Midshipman, Square Eddie, Terrain and Street Hero.

CR Dunbar: Breeders' Cup - Quick Thoughts

This Saturday the best horses of the year will congregate in Santa Anita, CA for the world champions of horse racing also known conspicuously as the Breeders' Cup. Here are some quick thoughts before the Reverend and I make the picks that pay for the chicks.

The Cup's handlers have expanded the number of races to 14 and once again will run the races over two days. Have you ever sent an evite for a party you are hosting and begin to worry that no one will show up so you begin to invite second tier friends to get a good showing? That's what the Breeders Cup did. Struggling to pull off a great event, they have decided to invite everybody to race hoping that more horses will enhance the experience. Instead, they have diluted the quality of the races and have turned the marquee Classic into a joke by allowing owners to run in a Dirt Mile to avoid facing Curlin. You have a dull party because your attendees are a hodge podge of random people only you know, and you're all stuck watching the free beer and drunk guy dance with the popcorn bowl.

I recently read an article about how the promoters are trying to put the Breeders' Cup on the same map as the Super Bowl. In the same breath he used the expected appearance of Jerry O'Connell as an example. As a horse racing enthusiast that provides critique for the improvement of the sport and has utmost faith in the Breeders' Cup, I puked a little in my mouth and in the same breath respectfully suggest they 'try again.'

Since they have expanded the volume of races, this will be the second year of races on Friday and Saturday (last year it was because of a small venue). Sadly, this will probably be a reoccurring format of the event. This is a question about what horse racing wants to be. Is it the Kentucky Derby where only the fanciest hats may apply or is it for the guys that consistently bet on the ponies but need to actually go to work on Fridays? As a middle class man trying to get a nut to move your butt (as C + C Music Factory would say), the full card on Friday is wasted. Expect decent numbers on the amount gambled because of the slew of races, but totals will not meet expectations and it is not because of the economy.

In all likelihood, I will have to watch Hank Goldberg stammering incoherently all Saturday, proving immediately his inability to do his job. I think watching him last year may have been the reason that I was praying to the porcelain gods not the fifth of vodka I polished off.

Big Brown's foot injury before facing Curlin is like saying you have cold sore at the close of your date with Jenna Jameson.

Dutrow Horse Gets Rocket Treatment

Another elite athlete falls from grace amid PED allegations.

Big (Brown) Coincidence: I Think Not

Businessweek reports that an analysis conducted by Deutsche Bank shows that for the years when a horse won the Triple Crown, the S&P 500 stock index fell by an average of 6.4 percent. For the 20 years that a contender missed at the Belmont, the market averaged a 10.8 percent gain.

In other news, whenever I breath, a baby is born. You're welcome...world.

Mad Money at Belmont

The cocksure trainer Rick Dutrow inspired me to consult my inner cocksman for this post that wants to make you some mad money, enter Jim Cramer.

I just want to make you money, because my job is not just to entertain you, but to educate you.

All indications are that Big Brown will ring the register, but Big Brown is the General Electric of horse racing. You’re going to get good results, but you are not going to make big money. This pony is cashed out. Too many people are going to be backing up the truck on him, rendering his payback a mere pittance.

Big Brown needs to watch out for the competition gaining market share. Why wouldn’t other skee-daddy owners, trainers or jockeys not pinch him to gobble up the profits? The owners have a lot to lose to let a Triple Crown stud steal the prime mares. Plus, they aren’t going to allow the Wall Street playboy owners of Big Brown have a three bagger on their Initial Public Offering.

A look at the competition shows that trainer Nick Zito may be hedging his bets, betting short and long. He has the small cap prospect in Da’ Tara that could hit early and a blue chip with Anak Nakal. Either Zito can steal the race or wear out Big Brown with Da’ Tara or close with Anak Nakal.

However, there a better members of the Dow out there than Anak Nakal. The race is stacked with value that could pay big money should they have surprise results.

Am I diversified: (good for a trifecta bet) Big Brown, Denis of Cork, Casino Drive and Tale of Ekati – I bless this portfolio

Icabad Crane, Guadalcanal, Anak Nakal, and Ready’s Echo – *Flatline Sound Effect*

Lightning Round: *Horse Race Sound effect*

Big Brown: Ring the Register – no money to be made.
Guadalcanal: SELL! SELL! SELL!
Macho Again: I have one thumb up here
Denis of Cork: Boo-Yah! Plenty of upside
Casino Drive: BUY! BUY! BUY!
Da’ Tara: May be worth paying attention too
Tale of Ekati: Strong performer, build a position
Anak Nakal: Rather see you in Tale of Ekati or Denis of Cork
Ready’s Echo: *Person crashing out of the window sound*
Icabad Crane: House of Pain

Big Brown has Bowel Movement: Sends rippels throughout the racing community

At 6:03 p.m., the anointed triple-crown winner Big Brown dispersed of a large bowel
movement that created quite a stir in the paddock.

The natural fertilizer had a firm consistency with traces of oats and carrots.

"Next to my kid being born, I have never seen something so amazing" said eye witness Craig Nolan. "I have been on my share of hay rides and I have never seen a horse dominate like that."

Expert scatologist, Blake Tripplehorn III, remarked after seeing pictures of the event, "from what I have seen, I don't see how anyone can beat Big Brown next weekend with that display." Tripplehorn received an honorary degree in Scatology from an off campus program at The Ohio State University

The scat was unable to be sent to the lab for further testing because onlookers jumped the gate to snatch up the droppings for a fresh souvenier. Even trainer Rick Dutrow was unable to get a piece for his collection as he was preoccupied by a fan's video camera that he mistook for a TV crew.

The bowel movement adds to a busy week for Big Brown who already jogged on the race track on Tuesday and stood through a, what will sure be a grounbreaking, piece by Kenny Mayne.

The final leg of the triple crown will still be held on June 7.

PETA's Hypocrisy: Where's the Outrage?

After the tragic death of Eight Belles following this year's Kentucky Derby, PETA went on their reactionary, media-clamoring crusade to persecute participants, observers and fans of the sport of kings.

True to their word, the animal lovers took to picketing yesterday's Preakness Stakes at Pimlico in Baltimore.

(AP Photo/Mel Evans)

What saddens and sickens me, though, is that while they advocate for the "ethical" treatment of race horses, they ignore the blatant unethical treatment of another animal - the party animal - happening right before their eyes.

(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

PETA owes it to poor Steve Scrimer (above), to write letters, sound the alarm and get on their proverbial horses in championing against the physical hardships drunk a-holes face on the infield.

After all, people are animals too.

A Punch in the Preakness

The Kentucky Derby showed us that Big Brown is all balls. He has balls upon balls.

Every indication is that Big Brown is going to run away with the Preakness as well. You would need brass ones to bet against him.

Well sports fans, I cause sparks when I walk.

(AC/DC would bet against Big Brown and would dig this post)

The conundrum that is upon us is that Big Brown has 1-2 odds and expected to go down to 1-10. What’s the point of betting on him?

I was at the Preakness when Barbaro went down. It seems like these horses are dropping as frequent as newborn testicles. You might as well try and make some money on an underdog and a freak accident.

Here is a pair to watch:

Giant Moon and Big Brown could vie for the lead and gas each other allowing Gayego to sashay for the win.

Big Brown and Gayego could dominate each other allowing Tres Borrachos to stalk a position and run the race of his life.In the end, if you want to make any money, you are going to need to play the exotics. The smart money would be to do a trifecta wheel with Big Brown on top and throw Gayego and another in the 2 shoot with a closer like Yankee Bravo or Racecar Rhapsody in the 3 spot. Sadly, even an exacta won’t pay well with a 1-10 odd horse.

Remember kids, vices create character, go gamble.