Things I do While Not Caring about David Beckham Saving Soccer

Every week my parents threaten to throw out every last piece of my junk still left in their basement and garage. Lucky for me, they still think it’s 1988 and that my sports card collection will eventually one day buy them a shore house. So, it is the one thing I know will be safe until I have the opportunity to finally organize them in some manner. Literally, I have foot lockers full of them, and unfortunately, few seem to be stored with any rhyme or reason.

This past weekend, while D-Beck and Spicy set foot in the New World, I stepped back into the dark hole that is my parents’ basement and started thumbing through those precious little pieces of cardboard, thinking maybe I’d find an old rookie card worth a cool 3 bucks. Well, truth be told, I was initially looking through some old Becketts as reference to a soon to be written gem by Fat Willard (I won’t give that away just yet, you’ll have to wait). But anyway, it ended up I went through 2 shoeboxes of cards with pops. I don’t know what was more fun, coming across a 1982 Fleer Lonnie Smith and thinking of him attacking the Phillie Phanatic, or hearing my dad say the words, “Oooh Rick Shue.”

At some point I came across a 1992 Pinnacle Lance Parrish, that handsome mustachioed feller. He was coming off a .212 campaign with the Angels shortly after becoming one of the far-too-many members of Phillie phree agent bust club.

Fat Willard and I have a jones for those old Topps “facts” on the back of cards that always seemed borderline absurd. Well, equally absurd was the Pinnacle tidbit on the back of Parrish’s card. To paraphrase, Lance wanted to finish his career the all-time leading homerun hitter among catchers and at the time trailed only Bench (389), Fisk (371 at the time), Berra (358) and Gary Carter (320 at the time), he of white afro fame. This fact floored me. At the time, Parrish had 292 dongs. And wound up tied Carter on the all-time list with 324.

Look at that list.

Bench, Fisk, Berra, Carter…Parrish(?). What business does he have on there?

Lance Parrish is ranked in the top 100 HR hitters of all-time. He was an 8-time all star. I don’t know if it’s that I chose to block the fact out that he was a decent player, given his over-hype and under-performance in the City of Brotherly Love, or that Piazza, Pudge and Posada spoiled us in recent years. Either way, I was ready to rip him in this piece. But the more I looked at his career, the more I realized just how under-appreciated serviceable catchers are. Sure, everyone knows how important they are to grooming young pitching staffs and being on-field generals, but rarely do catchers (aforementioned 3’s P’s not included) get their due for doing the intangibles, or in Parrish’s case, the tangibles. Meanwhile, Dutch jacks himself up one summer with Nails, puts out two good seasons, brings the Phitins to a World Series and is beloved by all, despite believing he had really nothing to do with his own on field performance. (I include myself in this group). I then listen to people boo Rod Barajas every night, granted he's getting paid $2 mil while Chris Coste fails to get younger and Chico Ruiz is turning some heads. OK, nevermind, bad example.

So with this post, I offer an apology. Larry, I mean Lance, I hardly knew ye.

-posted by Ren McCormack



Photo courtesy of Great Lakes Loons baseball, www.loons.com, where Lance Michael Parrish became the first manager in team history.