Jersey Don't Give a F*#@

Gotta love HHR's State University.

First we noted last year that at the one game we made it to against Navy, Rutgers fans felt the need to boo cadets and greet them with chants of "You Suck."

This year, we learn of the Soprano-esq underbelly of the program that, in a state with one of the worst economic situations in the countries, has circumvented public transparency by granting Coach Schiano an additional paycheck "through indirect payments that were never publicly disclosed."

We heard of stadium woes affected by "skyrocketing prices for fuel, concrete and steel."

Well, guess what football fans? We're New Jersey. We do what we want.

Getting drubbed by UNC on national TV?

Eff you.

From FanIQ: Rutgers Students Classy As Always, But Who Doesn't Want To Give ESPN The Finger Sometimes

Separated at Birth: Ferris Bueller, You're My Hero

Mad Dog and Mr. SJP.

Keith Unleashed: Is Olbermann Destroying NBC or Himself?

Remember when Olbermann was a Bristol funnyman? In the course of an election cycle, the former Sports Center anchor has gone from the future of NBC, to (just today) relegated to his own little cable domain after a series of bizarre on-and-off-the-air antics.

Let me paint the picture for you in light of the political hoopla surrounding the country and my own little observations of the station...

Last week I spent some time in Minneapolis-St. Paul covering the Republican National Convention for my "real job." (Big ups to Rand Ball & Mrs. Ran Ball for showing me about the Twin Cities, and allowing me to escape politics for a night).

My first day out there, I read in the local paper about a protester flop-house being raided, where buckets of urine, bows and arrows, Molotov cocktails and throwing knives (among other weaponry) was confiscated by authorities. Luckily, security was top-notch for convention-goers, despite reports of arrests and pandemonium.

But that doesn't mean that anyone not wearing hemp or patchouli shouldn't have been in fear - whether they were with the media, political or a mere observer. While delegates were treated to curb-side service, other attendees weren't always so lucky.

One evening following a session, I walked through nearby Rice Park, where, not only could protesters assemble and shout obscenities at you, but it's also where last-place cable news station, MSNBC, camped out its live, outdoor set. (Another interesting note: inside, MSNBC's suite was next to that of Al Jazeera. Say what you will, someone has a sense of humor).

Now, I never knew much of MSNBC's "Far-Left" reach. Yes, I heard about former ESPN anchor Keith Olbermann going bat shit about Bush (who doesn't do that nowadays?), but for the most part, it was his fist-pounding, anti-Hillary tirades that I heard about.

Come to find out, among GOPer's this distinction is common knowledge and Olbermann is their "worst person in the world."

So I decided to explore the studio space on this Olbermann character.

I thought back to something I read in June about his prima donna attitude and his perceived status at the station. It started upon the death of Tim Russert. From Page 6 (6/20/08):

Meanwhile, Matthews' MSNBC cable cohort Olbermann, who was also at the memorial, is "threatening to quit if he isn't installed as Russert's replacement," another insider said. "I know, it sounds ludicrous, but, then, Keith Olbermann is ludicrous."

At the convention, I picked up unapologetic Righy mag The Nation Review, if for nothing else this month's cover story, "Obama's Pet Peacock." It turned out to be heavily-focused on Olbermann's insanity, "Olbermann Broadcast Network."

If the temper tantrum about Big Russ' job had you chuckling (or scratching your head), check out the first lines of the NR article:

IN late October of last year, MSNBC moved its offices from Secaucus, N.J., to NBC headquarters at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. "It was cool," one longtime MSNBC employee says of the move. "All these old offices with so much history ... you'd be walking around and someone would point out John Belushi's old office."

But one MSNBC employee wasn't happy with his office. According to two sources who worked for the network at the time, Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC's Countdown, didn't like his door. It had a window. He wanted a solid one.

He called the building manager. "They told him, 'Look, it's an old building, we're not changing the doors,'" the longtime employee says. "So Keith calls [MSNBC president] Phil Griffin and says, 'I want a new door or I'm not going on the air tonight.' And so Phil went and got him a new door."

Because whatever Keith wants, Keith gets.

Moreover, in his quest to become the savior of the Left and up his own rockstar status, he is almost single-handedly destroying the credibility of NBC's entire news department.

Thus MSNBC's great leap leftward poses a big problem for NBC's news division. The traditional journalists at NBC News--guys like Brian Williams, Tom Brokaw, and, until recently, Tim Russert--are said to be privately appalled by the way MSNBC's naked partisanship is rubbing off on NBC News, but on this matter they have been overruled. NBC Universal president Jeff Zucker recently told a conference of business students, "The definition of NBC News is really changing, and it's becoming more MSNBC and MSNBC.com."

Here's what Zucker means: The number of viewers who watch Countdown each night (around a million) is still small compared with the number of viewers who watch the NBC Nightly News (around 8 million). But in 2007, MSNBC's primetime audience grew by 28 percent, while NBC Nightly News's declined by 13 percent...

Olbermann's rise has provoked mixed feelings from the journalists at NBC News. On one hand, Jeff Zucker, the president of the network, has publicly declared that MSNBC is the future of NBC News. Thus anyone who wants to have a future at NBC News has to learn to live with Olbermann and his brand of journalism. On the other hand, the more traditional journalists at the network hate Olbermann's way of doing business.

The piece goes on to quote insiders and look at the overall attitude and effect Olbermann has had on the NBC brand. And it was looking more and more like it was quickly becoming his-way-or-the-highway with the backing of key execs.

However, just when it looks like Olbermann had done the job for ABC/ESPN and sunk NBC, someone at the Peacock wised-up. From today's Broadcasting & Cable:

Keith Olbermann's and Chris Matthews' often-controversial tenure as co-anchors of MSNBC’s election coverage came to an end. Instead, David Gregory, NBC News’ chief White House correspondent, will anchor election night, the three presidential debates and the one vice-presidential debate.

No doubt this will infuriate Olbermann, and I expect he will threaten to quit (again) shortly. As of post-time, there is no mention of his demotion on either his Kos blog or his MSNBC.com talking points, the last post, ironically is titled "Olbermann chastises McCain: Grow up!"

Oh Keith. Still the funnyman.

Separated at Birth: Haslett the Goon

As Rams got lit up by the Eagles offense yesterday, producers couldn't help but show Defensive Coordinator/Alice the Goon look-a-like Jim Haslett throughout the drubbing.

Sign Language

Today, HHR celebrates some of the most recognizable signage genres in sports and the superfans who wave them.

Fire __________

After growing tired of blaming Barry Sanders' selfish retirement for the team's woes, Lions fans turned their ire on Matt Millen.

John 3:16. Austin 3:16. Anything 3:16.

Once a 70's mainstay thanks to born-again Rollen Stewart, the "3:16" phrase was reintroduced into 90's vernacular thanks to Mr. "Cold Stone" Steve Austin.

K Kount

Has recently been overshadowed by the Dollar Dog Night wiener count...much more entertaining.

Play/Drink Like a Champion

Here you go, Irish fans. Relive the glory years...

Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky!
What though the odds be great or small,
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory!

Now that we got that out of the way...whose advice is more relevant, Paul Hornung's or Big Ben's?

Ring Card Bikini Girls

When that acting/modeling career doesn't pan out (and pron still isn't an option), there is a job to resort to before heading to Hooters.

Network Acronyms / Just-Put-Me-on-TV-I'll-Whore-Out-Your-Call-Letters

Erin Andrews Harassment

"She was asking for it."

Priceless.

Seriously. People still do this.

Inappropriate Gameday Signs

They are funny because they're true.

Not to be confused with...

The Lee "Penis" Corso Gameday Specials



D-Fence

Not to be confused with its bastard cousin, the Off(Light switch)-Fence Sign(s).

Moderately Attractive Chicks with D-Bags / Muffin Top Signs

Because who needs paper? When you are starved for attention, flesh makes the best canvas.

8.28.08 Update: Reader Submission

From Sean Leahy of Going Five Hole...

He'd Rather Be in Chyna

Putting the Host Country In Its Place

After coming into these games under global scrutiny given their perceived political "shortcomings," it is no secret that China's hospitality has been tainted by questionable decisions, including but not limited to CGI fireworks, underage gymnasts and 7-year-old lip sync-ers.

But there is one thing that I find most appalling and unacceptable.

It's the arrogance by which they tout their success in Olympic competition.

Sure, China has won a ton of medals. More specifically, a ton of gold medals.

But let's call a spade a spade. The country has over 1.3 BILLION people from which to cultivate and develop athletically, probably in some far-off Siberian training camp.

So, in the spirit of our little red buddies, let's level the playing field in true Commy fashion.

Using Yahoo's medal tally and Wikipedia's list of countries by population, I have put together unofficial official Medals Per Capita (MPC) lists - 1 based on total medals, the other on gold medals.

As such, China ranks 69th Overall and 47th in Gold MPC.

Real impressive.

Misleading Headline: He Promised Her He Would

Heartbreak for China as Liu pulls out

Heartbreaking as it is, even star athletes must adhere to the country's strict limitation on the number of children a couple is permitted to have. He just so happened to hear that this was the most effective form of contraception besides "anal."

Eat the Clock: Competitive Eating on the Food Network?

THR reports that "the Food Network is getting into the competitive eating genre with a new series tentatively titled "Eat the Clock.""

I, for one, am a bit put-off by this concept. Competitive eating has no business on the Food Network (of which, for the record, I am a big fan), and vice versa.

The show "is described as a cross between an eating competition and "The Amazing Race." Two teams of contestants rush to various Los Angeles eateries and gorge themselves in face-stuffing challenges."

Isn't this a bleeding heart "What about the kids?" campaign waiting to happen. How could such a wholesome, responsible channel like Food Network stoop to such Fox/Spike-like depths?

Oh believe me, I'll watch it, albeit confusingly.

Couldn't they just stuff a fat sausage in Rachael Ray's mouth and be done with it?

Or how about Paula Dean vs. her two a-little-to-gay-for-each-other-for-my-viewing-comfort sons going head-to-heads?

You think portly Lagasse could take Bertoletti?

I do.

BAM!

Footy Matt's Premier League Preview – Part IV: Manchester United

Today’s preview: MANCHESTER UNITED

Absolute wanking knob jockeys. The last of the Big Four are winners of last year’s Premier League crown AND the damn Champion’s League. Oh they make me f’ing sick. Especially that winking, daisy-duke wearing, horrible mini-mulleted chump Christiano Ronaldo (named after Ronald Reagan – true). The most valuable team in footy, valued at $1.8 billion. Vomit. The only time ever to support Chelski? When they play Man U. Prediction? They finally finish 2nd this season, behind Chelski while the Man U faithful constantly moan about unfair refs, poor fields, the weather, whatevers. Bunch of whiny, nasty, spoiled donkey giz bitches.

More than you need to know

Name: Manchester United Football Club

Nickname: The Red Devils

Founded: 1878

Owner: The Glazer Family (of Tampa Bay)

Manager: Sir Alex Ferguson

American-esque equivalent: The New York Yankees. Exactly. Producers of legends, winners of titles. The Darth Vader of Sports – the team you love to hate. Like no man above the age of 18 should be seen wearing a NY Yankees cap (unless they were born in the Bronx). No man above the age of 18 should ever be seen wearing a Man U replica shirt (unless you want to look like an utter, utter c*nt).

Look-a-Like winners:

Paul Scholes and Opie Taylor

Or

Carlos Tevez and a Vampire Bat

The Season kicks-off tomorrow. See ya down at the pub.

Ernie Borgnine Divulges Secrect to Long Life

File this one under health and fitness...

Training Camp Postcards, Part 8 of 8: AFC West

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in River Falls, WI(Chiefs), Napa Valley, CA (Raiders), San Diego (Chargers), and Englewood, CO (Broncos).

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Training Camp Postcards, Part 7 of 8: NFC West

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in Santa Clara, CA (49ers), Flagstaff, AZ (Cardinals), Mequon, WI (Rams), and Kirkland, WA (Seahawks).

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Illegal Downloading: Now Get the Olympics with Your Pron & Music

By all means, feel free to download yourself some hairless Asian boys in Beijing pools in high quality HD! We'll pass.

Via Lifehacker, Waxy's Andy Baio talks about the availability, and more so the quality, of video for (illegal) download at BitTorrent and Usenet compared to that of NBCOlympics.com.

Baio provides sample videos, a list of currently available Olympic events at Usenet, and interesting comparisons of all three platforms and their improvements since the '04 games.

Is ESPN Stupid, Clueless or Just Not Care?

Today, ESPN.com features a link for something called "Celebrity Car Parade" in its Autos section.

Who else would be more appropriate to spotlight on the main page than the guy whose family is embattled with legal and image issues due to a near-deadly auto accident?

That's right, brother.

Training Camp Postcards, Part 6 of 8: AFC South

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in Houston, TX (Texans), Terre Haute, IN (Colts), Jacksonville, FL (Jaguars), and Nashville, TN (Titans).

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Soon We Will Discover That Brett Favre Has Tits

Apparently it's big news that Eric Mangini reminded Brett Favre today at practice, that despite his Hall of Fame resume, he's just one of the guys.

He better watch the hell out for Zabka.

Oooooh What a Rush!

Flamboyant tag team of Michael "Hawk" Phelps and "Animal" Garret Weber-Gale successfully held off a couple of neo dweeb maxis from France to retain the gold at the Great American Bash.

They now got their sites set on a couple Russian comrades.

Training Camp Postcards, Part 5 of 8: NFC South

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in Flowery Branch, GA (Falcons), Spartanburg, SC (Panthers), Jackson, MS (Saints), Lake Buena Vista, FL (Bucs) from a player's perspective.

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Breaking: Mr. 3000 Bernie Mac, Dead at 50

Mr. 3000 star and White Sox superfan Bernie Mac's publicist says the actor and comedian is dead at 50. Mac, most remembered by the HHR staff for his role as "Buster" in the 1997 Bill Belamy classic, How to be a Player, had been hospitalized with pneumonia.

(Warning, Potty Mouth)

Training Camp Postcards, Part 4 of 8: AFC North

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in , Georgetown, KY (Bengals), Letrobe, PA (Steelers), Berea, OH (Browns) and Westminster, MD (Ravens) from a player's perspective.

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.





EDITOR'S NOTE: WE INTENDED TO POST A CARD FROM KYLE BOLLER FROM RAVENS' CAMP, BUT IT WAS INTERCEPTED UPON DELIVERY.